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THE HONEYMOON IS OVER

Chuck Todd Humiliates Everyone With His Gross Person Sneezes

Things have gotten too comfortable between America and America’s husband, sensitive-seeming ginger Chuck Todd. He does not even cover his nose when he sneezes anymore, like a gross person. This is disgusting, as Kathleen Sebelius publicly explains for a good minute. Sneeze like you used to sneeze, Chuck.


11:16 AM on Fri September 18 2009
By Juli Weiner
1130 Views

  1. ManchuCandidate says at 11:20 am, September 18th, 2009

    Leave Chuck alone. It’s probably the only way he can share his bodily fluids with anyone these days in this time of PIG AIDS Flu.

  2. Come here a minute says at 11:25 am, September 18th, 2009

    If Secretary Sebelius gets the pig AIDS, I would advise spray-sneezing ginger Chuck Todd not to get the “special” flu virus shot she cooks up for him.

  3. eclecticbrotha says at 11:27 am, September 18th, 2009

    Chuck Todd, its bad enough you’ve failed us by turning into a predictable villager but now you’re sneezing and getting your gnome germs all over the rest of us? OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!

  4. mookworthjwilson says at 11:33 am, September 18th, 2009

    Chuck Todd=Patient Zero

  5. freakishlystrong says at 11:33 am, September 18th, 2009

    Shit. The tags. BRB, peed self.

  6. The Power of Wheat says at 11:34 am, September 18th, 2009

    Chuck Todd is the hackiest of all of the villagers. Well, maybe not Joke Line.

  7. Seems like it was just yesterday that Joyceln Elders was teaching young Chuck the correct way to polish the top of his flag pole.

  8. teebob2000 says at 11:39 am, September 18th, 2009

    Secretary of the MILFs Sebelius was hawt giving him a mean-mom look!!!! Fap fap fap.

  9. norbizness says at 11:42 am, September 18th, 2009

    His name used to be Chuck Mangione until the noted jazz flugelhornist said “I came first, and while I might suck, that gingery twat REALLY sucks.”

  10. jasper f. krone says at 11:43 am, September 18th, 2009

    (best elmo voice) DOES A CABINET SECRETARY SNEEZE? NO? BUT YOU CAN SNEEZE ON A CABINET SECRETARY! LET’S ASK A BABY!

  11. RoscoePColtraine says at 11:45 am, September 18th, 2009

    I’ll thank you not to bring up any of Chuck Todd’s bodily functions in the future, Wonkette. It’s about all I can stand to see him on the teevee retaining his various solids, liquids and gasses.

  12. bureaucrap says at 11:47 am, September 18th, 2009

    A dark day for America. We shall one day look back on the day before chuck todd sneezed as the last day Americans were free.

  13. Uncertainty Vice-Principal says at 11:50 am, September 18th, 2009

    In Argentina, sneezing is actually considered foreplay.

  14. King of the Dipshits says at 11:52 am, September 18th, 2009

    The thought bubble above Chuck Todd’s head reads something like: “Okay bitch, when you get the tightwads at NBC to pay my dry cleaning bill we can talk about whether I should be blowing snot all over my coat sleeve or not.”

  15. Come here a minute says at 11:54 am, September 18th, 2009

    The government would be in a lot better shape if every cabinet secretary had that same “disapproving third grade teacher” look. (Obama’s disapproving professor look is good, too.)

  16. TheUptightMidwesterner says at 12:05 pm, September 18th, 2009

    this is the way the world ends
    this is the way the world ends
    not with a bang
    but a boogie

  17. Way Cool Larry says at 12:15 pm, September 18th, 2009

    teebob2000: so true

  18. what’s with all the sneezing?

  19. Doris Ziffel says at 12:31 pm, September 18th, 2009

    What’s with blowing snot all over your sleeve?
    Whatever happened to handkerchiefs?
    Or at least wadded up bits of toilet paper?
    Idiocracy has reached the White House.
    Oh, wait…..

  20. Blue_in_VA says at 12:33 pm, September 18th, 2009

    Only the Peggy Noonington comments make me laugh harder. Thanks!

  21. Shouldn’t we be applauding him, though, really? I mean, he’s giving pig flu to the Washington press corps, after all.

  22. One Yield Regular says at 12:51 pm, September 18th, 2009

    I wish Sebelius had used that gesture during this summer’s town hall “meetings” whenever some wingnut opened his or her mouth.

  23. What’d he do? Sneeze on his notes? If so, expect some interesting copy. Nothing signifies ‘Pulitzer’ like a booger-laden paragraph.

  24. teebob2000: Gosh, she *does* have a nice smile. But no, no, my heart belongs to Juli.

  25. GreenHalo says at 1:33 pm, September 18th, 2009

    That was priceless. I said “What was that shit?!” a split second before she tore into his ass. I’ve found my soul mate in the Cabinet.

    Big pink hearts for “I don’t kna-ow…” which is similar to the masculine “Dude!” but more correctly translates “I wash my hands of you, you are a fucking DISEASE, oh my GOD, get away get away, nasty.” I haven’t heard a really proper “I don’t kna-ow” in years; this is chicken soup for my soul.

    “Bless your heart,” minus the implicit mitigation that Jesus loves you despite your sins, equals “I don’t kna-ow.” Oh, cougar starbursts!! …I’ve said too much.

  26. Bearbloke says at 1:33 pm, September 18th, 2009

    mookworthjwilson: Maybe Chuckie Todd should be quarantined and euthanized, as a public safety measure… do it for the children!

  27. Extemporanus says at 3:46 pm, September 18th, 2009

    This whole time I thought that reddish shit on his face was a goatee. Little did I know that it’s actually a ring of moist, disease-laden, sneezetorum built-up after months of mainstream media mouth goatse.

    Elbows up, everyone! ELBOWS FUCKING UP!

  28. Chuck Todd if he does that again.

  29. obfuscator says at 10:48 pm, September 18th, 2009

    my 8-year old niece knows the ’sneeze into your elbow’ trick. she is smarter and more hygiene-aware than the chuck todd.

  30. LoweredPeninsula says at 4:06 am, September 20th, 2009

    He sneezed? That qualifies one for a Death Panel consideration/consultation.

    BTW, the “Secretary of the MILFs” is my governor, Jennifer Granholm, thank you very much.

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