• May 26, 2012
THE HONEYMOON IS OVER

September 18, 2009

Chuck Todd Humiliates Everyone With His Gross Person Sneezes

by Juli Weiner  

Things have gotten too comfortable between America and America’s husband, sensitive-seeming ginger Chuck Todd. He does not even cover his nose when he sneezes anymore, like a gross person. This is disgusting, as Kathleen Sebelius publicly explains for a good minute. Sneeze like you used to sneeze, Chuck.

{ 30 comments }

ManchuCandidate September 18, 2009 at 11:20 am

Leave Chuck alone. It’s probably the only way he can share his bodily fluids with anyone these days in this time of PIG AIDS Flu.

Come here a minute September 18, 2009 at 11:25 am

If Secretary Sebelius gets the pig AIDS, I would advise spray-sneezing ginger Chuck Todd not to get the “special” flu virus shot she cooks up for him.

eclecticbrotha September 18, 2009 at 11:27 am

Chuck Todd, its bad enough you’ve failed us by turning into a predictable villager but now you’re sneezing and getting your gnome germs all over the rest of us? OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!

mookworthjwilson September 18, 2009 at 11:33 am

Chuck Todd=Patient Zero

freakishlystrong September 18, 2009 at 11:33 am

Shit. The tags. BRB, peed self.

The Power of Wheat September 18, 2009 at 11:34 am

Chuck Todd is the hackiest of all of the villagers. Well, maybe not Joke Line.

BigDupa September 18, 2009 at 11:34 am

Seems like it was just yesterday that Joyceln Elders was teaching young Chuck the correct way to polish the top of his flag pole.

teebob2000 September 18, 2009 at 11:39 am

Secretary of the MILFs Sebelius was hawt giving him a mean-mom look!!!! Fap fap fap.

norbizness September 18, 2009 at 11:42 am

His name used to be Chuck Mangione until the noted jazz flugelhornist said “I came first, and while I might suck, that gingery twat REALLY sucks.”

jasper f. krone September 18, 2009 at 11:43 am

(best elmo voice) DOES A CABINET SECRETARY SNEEZE? NO? BUT YOU CAN SNEEZE ON A CABINET SECRETARY! LET’S ASK A BABY!

RoscoePColtraine September 18, 2009 at 11:45 am

I’ll thank you not to bring up any of Chuck Todd’s bodily functions in the future, Wonkette. It’s about all I can stand to see him on the teevee retaining his various solids, liquids and gasses.

bureaucrap September 18, 2009 at 11:47 am

A dark day for America. We shall one day look back on the day before chuck todd sneezed as the last day Americans were free.

Uncertainty Vice-Principal September 18, 2009 at 11:50 am

In Argentina, sneezing is actually considered foreplay.

King of the Dipshits September 18, 2009 at 11:52 am

The thought bubble above Chuck Todd’s head reads something like: “Okay bitch, when you get the tightwads at NBC to pay my dry cleaning bill we can talk about whether I should be blowing snot all over my coat sleeve or not.”

Come here a minute September 18, 2009 at 11:54 am

The government would be in a lot better shape if every cabinet secretary had that same “disapproving third grade teacher” look. (Obama’s disapproving professor look is good, too.)

TheUptightMidwesterner September 18, 2009 at 12:05 pm

this is the way the world ends
this is the way the world ends
not with a bang
but a boogie

Way Cool Larry September 18, 2009 at 12:15 pm

[re=414100]teebob2000[/re]: so true

graceless September 18, 2009 at 12:28 pm

what’s with all the sneezing?

Doris Ziffel September 18, 2009 at 12:31 pm

What’s with blowing snot all over your sleeve?
Whatever happened to handkerchiefs?
Or at least wadded up bits of toilet paper?
Idiocracy has reached the White House.
Oh, wait…..

Blue_in_VA September 18, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Only the Peggy Noonington comments make me laugh harder. Thanks!

Vulpes82 September 18, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Shouldn’t we be applauding him, though, really? I mean, he’s giving pig flu to the Washington press corps, after all.

One Yield Regular September 18, 2009 at 12:51 pm

I wish Sebelius had used that gesture during this summer’s town hall “meetings” whenever some wingnut opened his or her mouth.

TGY September 18, 2009 at 12:57 pm

What’d he do? Sneeze on his notes? If so, expect some interesting copy. Nothing signifies ‘Pulitzer’ like a booger-laden paragraph.

TGY September 18, 2009 at 12:59 pm

[re=414100]teebob2000[/re]: Gosh, she *does* have a nice smile. But no, no, my heart belongs to Juli.

GreenHalo September 18, 2009 at 1:33 pm

That was priceless. I said “What was that shit?!” a split second before she tore into his ass. I’ve found my soul mate in the Cabinet.

Big pink hearts for “I don’t kna-ow…” which is similar to the masculine “Dude!” but more correctly translates “I wash my hands of you, you are a fucking DISEASE, oh my GOD, get away get away, nasty.” I haven’t heard a really proper “I don’t kna-ow” in years; this is chicken soup for my soul.

“Bless your heart,” minus the implicit mitigation that Jesus loves you despite your sins, equals “I don’t kna-ow.” Oh, cougar starbursts!! …I’ve said too much.

Bearbloke September 18, 2009 at 1:33 pm

[re=414094]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Maybe Chuckie Todd should be quarantined and euthanized, as a public safety measure… do it for the children!

Extemporanus September 18, 2009 at 3:46 pm

This whole time I thought that reddish shit on his face was a goatee. Little did I know that it’s actually a ring of moist, disease-laden, sneezetorum built-up after months of mainstream media mouth goatse.

Elbows up, everyone! ELBOWS FUCKING UP!

Click September 18, 2009 at 4:34 pm

Chuck Todd if he does that again.

obfuscator September 18, 2009 at 10:48 pm

my 8-year old niece knows the ‘sneeze into your elbow’ trick. she is smarter and more hygiene-aware than the chuck todd.

LoweredPeninsula September 20, 2009 at 4:06 am

He sneezed? That qualifies one for a Death Panel consideration/consultation.

BTW, the “Secretary of the MILFs” is my governor, Jennifer Granholm, thank you very much.

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