Mark Sanford has been thinking awhile about this whole Joe Wilson thing, which really, if you think about it, makes sense to think about in terms of Sanford’s extramarital affair. (Lows by any other name!) Here is Sanford, giving some interview in South Carolina and just owning sixth grade’s most savvy rhetorical move: “The guy apologized, and then you can have a bunch of other people come back and say, ‘We want you to apologize again and again and again.’” Sympathy by the transitive property! There’s more:
“At some point in all of life, the question is not, ‘When is someone going to make a mistake?’, but ‘When do the rest of us move on?’” We are not meant to consciously pick up that here Sanford is talking about Wilson but he is really talking about himself. Read it again, psychoanalytically. See it now? “Someone” is Wilson, but it is also Sanford, because it is also EVERYONE. He is manipulating you because you’ve already forgiven him for disappearing into an Argentinian black hole of adultery. Because this is what Joe Wilson did. Because this is what you yourself did.
It’s okay, Mark Sanford forgives you.
[CNN]
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Sheesh, you fix one pipe, nobody calls you a plumber. But you take ONE illegally funded flight to fuck pampas punani…
Today, we are all manipulative, psychoanalytical retards with our hands on fantastic Argentinian cans. Um. What?
I would think that if I had had so much fun with an Argentinian minx, I would remember more about it. Kind of like my last birthday party…
And he cannot talk about Mark Sanford without talking about poontang.
Honey, let’s let bygones be bygones, forgive and forget, make amends and just get on with our lives, OK? Now where’d I put that matchbook with the phone number of the girl I was fucking last night?
Dear Markie,
There’s a difference between being sorry and saying you’re sorry, but then again most apologies don’t go to the effect of “I’m sorry for sticking my viagra pumped cock into some superfine Argie Wangdang Sweet Poontang because my cold rich bitch of a chainsaw wife wouldn’t let me do anal!”
So, keep trying until SC feels some regret.
MC
Actually in Argentina shouting “You lie!” is considered foreplay.
Yeah wingnuts, let’s just get on with it. I mean they still don’t bring up Bill’s misadventures. Oh, wait.
Today we are all Representatives with tourettes and/or Argnetinian pussy pounding Governors.
Mark Sanford is a chicken-fucking jackass.
C’mon guys, we know we’re fuckups. Do you have to point it out at least once a pay-period?
[re=414042]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
“I’m sorry for sticking my viagra pumped cock into some superfine Argie Wangdang Sweet Poontang because my cold rich bitch of a chainsaw wife wouldn’t let me do anal!”
I think you should be a writer for Hallmark cards.
Anything that happens on Earth, ever, is grist for the Mark Sanford parable mill.
Yes, yes, Mark, we’ll be happy to move on, because we know it’s just fine that you apologized to your wife after fucking your Argentinian piece of ass, then proceeded to… um… keep right on fucking your Argentinian piece of ass. Just like we know it’s fine that Joe Wilson apologized for calling the President a liar to his face, but keeps right on calling him a lying nigger behind his back.
Sanford: “Read your Bible! Remember the story of King David’s racist outburst? It occurred slightly after his search for rooftop poon. Amen.”
Sweet analysis Julie! Wanna have coffee sometime?
But less seriously, this Houdini-esque language trick (read pathology) is standard fare among the self-involved: Hey, I feel great, so why don’t you get over yourself? Oh yeah, it’s because my actions affected you on account of my legal and emotional responsibilities to you. Hm. Can’t you just be in denial like me? Yippie!
Andy Partridge said it best:
This is called luring the VICTIM, and you are the VICTIM. But if you have a free mind you should STOP READING NOW! because all we are attempting to do is to get you to read on. Yet this is a DOUBLE BIND because if you indeed stop you’ll be doing what we tell you, and if you read on you’ll be doing what we’ve wanted all along. And the more you read on the more you’re falling for this simple device of telling you exactly how a good commercial design works. They’re TRICKS and this is the worst TRICK of all since it’s describing the TRICK whilst trying to TRICK you, and if you’ve read this far then you’re TRICKED but you wouldn’t have known this unless you’d read this far.
This is the best thing to come out of this whole lyin’ ass Republican soap opera since the Sanford/Emo Teen photoshop.
so all Osama has to do is twitter “sry 4 crshng plns into ur bldngs” and we can stop bombing the world and move on?
Mark, keep fucking that chicken!
[re=414038]TGY[/re]: “…our hands on fantastic Argentinian cans.”
And if this was scripted for Sesame Street, the entire quote would read, “I’m gonna lay my hands on fantastic Argentinian cans and drive them over to Stan’s in the tan van.”
NOM NOM NOM NOM!
Hey mark we’re just judging you and wilson by your own standards… you know impeachment of t he prez for lying under oath about pussy and all.
If we forgive Mark Sanford, can we still call him “Sparkie”?
ASPERITY IN THAT ONE. Too bad he’s a terrible fucking liar. Has Joe Wilson been to Argentina recently?
…maybe he will start referring to himself in the third person like “The Rock” and start all of his sentences with “Mark Sanford says…”
Sanford/Evita
2012
Ultimately, we are all guilty.
Wait. Mark Sanford played English Bob in The Unforgiven? Huh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2sf70d0-FM&NR=1
I have now hiked my own Appalachian trail of shame for not sufficiently forgiving Mike and Joe. I love you guys, man. It’s not you; it’s me.
Oh it’s wayyyy too soon to be whining about how much you’ve apologized boys. You think it’s that easy? WE’LL tell you when you can come out of the dog house. You mouthed an insincere apology, fine. The next phase is a little tougher – you have to ACT contrite. It doesn’t do you any good to delay this phase of the “I fucked up” game, either. If you don’t get on with it, the gifts you buy us start getting more expensive.
[re=414050]PrairiePossum[/re]:
Ha. I wonder if they’ll ever do an insincere apology card line.
Take that border fence leftover money and wall up them Gamecock-loving motherfuckers.
[re=414074]Come here a minute[/re]: Thank you. Finally someone with the humility to admit that he/she/it is at fault for this Sanford & Addison nonsense. If only the other ~7 billion of us could admit our culpability when politicians behave badly. It’s our fault, you know. We just love them too damn much.
[re=414083]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
Sorry, bitch.
I’m sorry if my messing up upset you.
Yeah, that was really shitty of me. Time to move on.
I only fucked her because you told me to have a good time. . . (that one was my all time favorite)
[re=414081]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Hey, I get enough of that crap at home. Don’t need to hear it at my “fun site”.
What Sanford is doing is the new Republican meme. You apologize for doing something wrong while rationalizing your offence by saying that you submitted to a weakness that all human beings are capable of, even though you have held other people to a higher standard than that in the past. Immediately after apologizing you start playing the martyr card when people call you on your bullshit.
[re=414090]converse[/re]: Case in point.
Julie wrote “Sympathy by the transitive property!”
And I didn’t think it was possible to love her more than I already did…
“All my mistakes are belong to you.”
Here’s an offer: We’ll move on from Sanford and Wilson being total jackasses when the Repugs get over Teddy Kennedy and Chappaquiddick.
Christ – what’s he pokin’ now with that Tee shirt?
Why is anyone still asking Mark Sanford anything? How fucking self-important does he have to be to think that we continue to want to hear anything he has to say about anyone? Go back into your fucking mental cave of a mind, Sandy. What a delusional motherfucker, he is.
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