Best gang bang since JesusFormer Bush Interior Secretary and Jack Abramoff pal Gale Norton, who earned that position after a successful career corporo-raping the United States environment, is in trouble for doing the thing that every Bush administration official did, but she did so very much! “The Justice Department is investigating whether former Interior Secretary Gale A. Norton illegally used her position to benefit Royal Dutch Shell PLC, the company that later hired her, according to officials in federal law enforcement and the Interior Department.” HMM WHO KNOWS? [LA Times]

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  1. Oh my god, a political appointee of the oil-drenched Cheney administration doing favors for an oil company, and then sheep-dipping directly to their payroll? This is shocking news!

    You awful cunt, I hope you go to jail for a thousand years.

    Unless of course you’re innocent.

  2. Norton is the first Bush official at the Cabinet secretary level to be the subject of a formal political corruption investigation — And she’s ALL woman, too!

  3. But no matter what the outcome, you’re still an awful cunt:

    “Norton was born in Wichita, Kansas and raised in Wichita and Thornton, Colorado, and graduated magna cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa from the University of Denver in 1975 and earned her Juris Doctor degree with honors from the same university in 1978. She divorced her first husband, Harold Everett Reed, when he was publicly reported as gay [Ha! He’d rather be gay than married to you!] by the Denver local gay newspaper, OutFront. She is currently married to John Hughes. In the late 1970s, she was a member of the Libertarian Party and was nearly selected as its national director in 1980. Norton has been associated with a number of groups in the “wise use” or “free-market environmentalist” movement, such as the Property and Environmental Research Center, of which she is a fellow. She also worked as Assistant to the Deputy Secretary of Agriculture and, from 1979 to 1983, as a Senior Attorney for the Mountain States Legal Foundation.”

    MSLF was James Watt’s outfit, if I recall…

  4. How are we going to attract good people to public service if, every time they use their position to benefit a corporation that later hires them, they are investigated?

    For instance, how could government operate without Goldman Sachs executives running things?

  5. illegally used her position to benefit Royal Dutch Shell PLC”

    Of course she used her position to benefit Shell and herself. She’s a republican, she’s not in government for the governing.

    The issue is illegality.

  6. I heard that Ken Salazar said he wasn’t going to keep the new Department of the Interior motto that Gale Norton came up with. Has he changed it yet? Or is it still “Sell the Earth”?


    A former Bush official, _______________ is reportedly under Justice Department investigation for alleged illegal activity by influence-peddling an oil deal with the _________________ corporation. Former vice president Cheney responded to the news by saying that the motive of the investigation was political and that it serves only to weaken America. In other news, GOP congressman, _______________ was arrested in a ______________ and charged with placing his penis in a ____________________. The congressman has announced he is resigning to spend more time with is family.

  8. She prolly got coked- and sexed-up at one of those Minerals Management Service parties they were always having back then and had a lapse in judgment. Again.

  9. It’s a slippery slope–corruption investigation against former Cabinet officer, then CIA leak investigation against former White House political advisor, next thing you know it’s a war-crimes trial against a former Vice-President.

    I can dream, can’t I?

  10. And she had to help Royal Dutch Shell PLC, the gayest named oil company ever, and foriegners to boot. I can’t wait for Glen Beck to dedicate a week of his show to this, since this has to be bigger than Van Jones being a commie.

  11. Corpororaping is a wonderful addition to our written lexicon. But try saying it. Feels like an f-ing tennis ball being shoved down one’s f-ing throat.

  12. How dare the Obama adminstration investigate what happened in the past! Now the morale of all corrupt cabinet officers will crash. And where will you find people who are willing to put their life on the line for a big huge bribe from an oil company? How dare Obama politicize the Bush adminstrations policy decision to be corrupt!

  13. [re=413334]Scarab[/re]: Fine, except the last line.

    The congressman has announced he is not resigning, which he leaves to similarly busted Democrats and their quaint sense of shame.


  14. Critics also raised questions about the fairness of the process, given that Shell filed its first lease application just a day after the department issued its call for proposals in June 2005.

    Yeah, after Dubya got elected in 2004, his pals just stopped frickin’ trying to make things look legal.

    [re=413341]dementor[/re]: That makes it onomatopoeia.

  15. First Boustany tries to buy himself a manorial lordship, and now we have this gal in bed with the Dutch crown? What’s up with all the Republican monarchists?

  16. As Interior secretary, she embraced an industry-friendly approach to environmental regulation that she called “cooperative conservation” and pushed the department to open more public land for energy production.

    In short: DRILL, BABY, DRILL.

  17. [re=413320]V572625694[/re]: I imagine her first husband broke the news to her by saying, “It’s not you, honey. Nature made me gay.”

    From that moment onward, Norton dedicated her life to raping Mother Nature with a chainsaw.

  18. “The Justice Department is investigating whether former Interior Secretary Gale A. Norton illegally used her position to benefit Royal Dutch Shell PLC, the company that later hired her, according to officials in federal law enforcement and the Interior Department.” HMM WHO KNOWS?


  19. [re=413355]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Drill, Baby, Drill indeed.
    By the way and somewhat off topic: where has our favorite driller been these last few days? Is Sarah sniping (from helicopter of course) young Chinese girls with full heads of hair for her new wig collection?

  20. [re=413341]dementor[/re]: Agreed. Corporapist rolls off the tongue smoother. Not unlike Tobias from “Arrested Development”, being an “analrapist” and all. But that could help explain what’s really going on up in here.

  21. The librul media just happened to put this story out two days after the Norton announced it was running for the Republican nomination to be the gubinator of Colorado. Bad librul media. Bad.

  22. You should replace that photo with one of those showing Gale Norton gleefully snow-machining around Yellowstone after she got the ban on snowmobiling in national parks lifted.

    Creepy Gale.


  24. [re=413320]V572625694[/re]: Libertarians and republicans need to sort out which of them is for giving all our tax dollars to wealthy corporatists. They can’t both have that in their platform. I say we put them in a mud pit and host a Kleptocracy King Smackdown. Let’s make it a fundraiser. All proceeds go to UBS, because the swiss are still mad about the accounts disclosure thing.

  25. [re=413379]TeddyS[/re]: Actually I believe it was Lt. Gov JANE Norton (R) who declared her candidacy for Colo SENATE against incumbent Michael Bennet (appointed to senator after Obama selected Ken Salazar to be new Dept of Interior), and it is just an added bonus that there is name-recognition-confusion, because she seems to be best chance to beat Bennet, or demo primary challenger Andrew Romanoff (Go Andrew!)

  26. [re=413379]TeddyS[/re]: Hmm, are you sure it’s the same Norton person? candidate and former Colorado Lt. Governor Jane Norton is officially going to run for Senator. This other Norton, Gale is the bad poopy head that GWB was hosing. She changed the wetlands rules so that man made ponds at golf courses were counted as wetlands. You may remember the net acres of wetlands suddenly skyrocketing during the Chimp administration, after many decades of decline.

  27. “HMM WHO KNOWS?”

    I understand waterboarding is a very effective means of extracting valuable information from unwilling sources.

    Cheney and Beck would love it.

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