WHAT WAS METRO THINKING?

  investigate them too

Rep. Kevin Brady of fuckin’ Texas wants — in the words of the Wall Street Journal here, okay? — “an explanation of why the government-run subway system didn’t, in his view, adequately prepare for this past weekend’s rally to protest government spending and government services. Seriously.” +1.

The Texas Republican on Wednesday released a letter he sent to Washington’s Metro system complaining that the taxpayer-funded subway system was unable to properly transport protesters to the rally to protest government spending and expansion.

“These individuals came all the way from Southeast Texas to protest the excessive spending and growing government intrusion by the 111th Congress and the new Obama administration,” Brady wrote. “These participants, whose tax dollars were used to create and maintain this public transit system, were frustrated and disappointed that our nation’s capital did not make a great effort to simply provide a basic level of transit for them.”

Nice exercise in constituent services, Rep. Kevin Brady of Texas! Was anyone able to read beyond this part, “These individuals came all the way from Southeast Texas…,” what with the ensuing laughter and all?

ALSO, if this Kevin Brady paid any attention to local budgetary issues in his adopted residence of Washington D.C., he would know that Metro is broke, and broken, and getting very violent. But…

 
Related video

Back in July HR3288, a Transportation and HUD appropriations bill, came up for a vote. It included $150 million for emergency maintenance funding for the DC Metro.

Brady voted against it.

Eat an ICBM of dicks, Kevin Brady!

Tea Party Protesters Protest D.C. Metro Service [WSJ]

Related

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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145 comments

  1. mookworthjwilson

    Too stupid to live, but not too stupid to Represent Texas in Congress. Do we have a future DWTS contestant on our hands???

  2. james evans

    Ha Ha. Don’t these conservative dipshits from Southeast Texas realize that only liberals and homos ride the Metro??

  3. ManchuCandidate

    What you think that adding more trains is done by magic and the infrastructure mends itself?

    Oh, right. They’re teabaggers so the answer to both is a big YES!

  4. Buzz Feedback

    By “frustrated and disappointed” he means they were pissed when they put a fiver in the metro card machine and a bag of Funyuns didn’t come out.

  5. allyzay

    Is he not aware that $0 of federal taxes go to the DC metro? Don’t worry little buddy, your shitburg had nothing to do with your inconvenience!

  6. kernelPanic

    How many hoverounds can fit in a metro car anyway? That was probably the biggest issue. Teabaggers are not particularly mobile or small.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    And why do the Metro stations have only one elevator each? Do you know how long it takes to get 3,000 Texan teabaggers in Hoverounds onto the train that way?

  8. The Other Sarah T

    Is Kevin Brady secretly an elderly Jew ? “The food here is jus terrible…” “Yes, and the portions are so small !”

  9. rmontcal

    Put a coffee can on the counter at the 7-11 on 8th St. SE and people can drop change in there to pay for Metro repairs.

  10. BigDupa

    Perhaps the Teabaggers should have thought of this on the day they were staying home with their kids protecting them Hopey’s speech? “Kids, after watching “700 Club,” our next activity is to plan alternate transportation routes to our play date with our freedom loving friends. How would we walk from the Microtel in Springfield to the Capital? Extra Jesus points to whoever answers first.”

  11. Carl Spakler

    Hey I missed the start of work the other day…Oh the fringed outrage.

    Let’s talk about anything, everything but health care.

  12. twowheeljunkie

    Typical conservative.
    Complain when tax money is spent to help the needy.
    And complain even louder when tax money is not spent to help them.
    I’m surrounded by these people at work.

  13. FUNdamental

    Along with some friends, my wife and took the Metro down to see Opera In The Outfield that Saturday. A fantastic event by the way.

    Shockingly, there were no tea baggers at the opera.

    Somewhere around Metro Center though, the under-informed descended on the trains. Two women sat in the priority seats. Their signs said “Defend the Constitution” and “show us the birth certificate.” One looked senior-citizenish, but the only handicap the other had was ugliness.

    So, we know they can see across the car at the no eating, drinking, smoking etc signs (and remember these signs have words and pictures). Then ugly one pulls a sandwich out of her bag and starts chowing.

    One of my friends, who is older and far more diplomatic than I am, walks over and says “pardon me, but you can be arrested for that”. Her Ugliness says “thanks, I did not know.” I am thinking – the sign has pictures, you dim whit!

    So she puts away her sandwich and gets a soda out and pops the top and starts drinking it.

    So, if it is not on Fox News, Sean Hammity, or El Rushbo these tea baggers completely miss what is staring them right in the face.

    But the funniest thing was a well dressed blonde chick, about 30 years old, was sitting alone in a half empty car. A teabagger gets on the train and walks over to her row and tries to sit next to her. If her looks could kill…

    She said “No, there are plenty of seats over there” pointing to the other side of the train.

    Ouch!

  14. Jobbotch

    [re=413132]GayInMaine[/re]: Even better – “Why doesn’t this system that I won’t pay for work when I need it to protest its existence?”

  15. Rotundo

    They came all the way from the republic of Texas and couldn’t figure out how to rent a car or call a fucking cab! Cungrissmin Brady should have drove them there hisself!

  16. CaiteeCruelle

    [re=413138]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Like all gubmint programs, it’s supposed to be withheld from the darkies and the illegal latina welfare queens, but be pristine, perfect, and ready to go for real murkins (fat cracker loudmouths).

    WHY DOES THE METRO HATE AMERICANS?

  17. shortsshortsshorts

    WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I DIDN’T BUY A NEW REFRIGERATOR WHEN THE OLD ONE BROKE THAT THE FUCKING THING DIDN’T WORK AFTER THAT? THIS IS INJUSTICE. STOP SHOUTING!11!

  18. Mahousu

    The fact is, Metro service was better than normal this past weekend. All of the stations were actually open, and nobody was struck and killed by any of the trains. Brady should be sending them a thank-you note instead.

  19. slappypaddy

    these people have a point. southeast texas has a public transportation system to die for. all you have to do anywhere is southeast texas — anywhere! — is go outside and wait less than three minutes, and a clean and quiet bus with plenty of room and a polite (and anglo) driver will pull up and take you anywhere you want to go (locally) for free. it will even take you to texas’s wonderful high-speed train system, which runs all the way through the old confederacy clear up to the border with the republic of washingtonistan, where the track ends and the only way to go any further is to get out and walk to a metro station, go downstairs, and walk along the dark and deserted tracks. why isn’t nobama fixing this?!!!!??

  20. thejesusandmarycheney

    The delays were likely caused by their big fat Tea Klux Klan asses standing in the subway car doorways, shouting “Know your place, nigra!” at the bossy voice repeating “Doors Closing. Please stand clear of the doors.”

  21. Crank Tango

    Re: the comments. Is “dripping with sarcasm” the same as, better than, or worse than “dripping with Mike Duvall”?

  22. The Other Sarah T

    “These individuals came all the way from Southeast Texas…” And they couldn’t even find parking for the Joadmobile

  23. Scarab

    There were plenty of metro cars, it’s just that the doors weren’t wide enough for the Texans. I blame Obama.

  24. freakishlystrong

    This is like “raaaaiinnn on your wedding day, a freeeeee riiiiide, when you’ve already paaaaiid” but not in a good way.

  25. Cicada

    I must point out that there were plenty of privately owned taxicabs available for the teatards. Also that the metro website has had a big notice about delays due to track maintenance at the top of the page for weeks.

    But hey, if they were so horribly inconvenienced maybe that means they won’t be coming back (hope, hope)?

  26. arewethereyet

    just finished watching videos and interviews from saturdays clusterfuck in dc and now this. who ARE these people? where did they come from? my head hurts.

  27. gjdodger

    [re=413149]kernelPanic[/re]: How many hoverounds can fit in a metro car anyway?

    +++++++++

    “My Metro didn’t cost me a penny!”

  28. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=413195]Cicada[/re]: HAHAHAHAHA. You’re assuming that these tards actually know how to use a website, let alone how to use a computer.

  29. snideinplainsight

    Said to me while on the DC metro; “That lifestyle leads straight to Hell!! Jesus loves you!!” at which point the guy – nervous, flannel-wearing, brush-cut with John Lennon glasses – spun and literally ran out of the car.

    What provoked him? I was sharing my newspaper with a dude (my college dorm-mate, actually.)

    Totally OT, I know, but one of my favorite stories.

  30. Red Zeppelin

    [re=413136]james evans[/re]: Of course they do! Why do you think there was so much semen on the subway seats after the teabagging? Don’t be fooled by the occassional hetero wingnut from SC or wherever.

  31. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I’m just surprised that that streets of DC are not lined with the bloated, corpolent bodies of South East Texans whose hearts exploded when forced to walk instead of taking the Metro.

    For the sake of a Public Option, they all would be saved.

  32. gjdodger

    [re=413212]snideinplainsight[/re]: What was John Rocker doing in Washington? Maybe there was another steroid hearing.

  33. BerkeleyFarm

    [re=413162]FUNdamental[/re]: Excellent example, also, of teabaggers not being able to reason from A to B. If I’d just been told that eating my sandwich was a no-no, I’d expect the same rule to apply to my can-o-soda.

  34. hobospacejunkie

    We have plenty of dumbs in Texas, obviously. But they are of a special kind in east Texas, what with the stupid of Louisiana also rubbing off on them.

  35. isadelia

    [re=413223]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Me too. I looked at it for prolly a good 45 seconds before giving up. The WSJ guy was nice and printed the quote spelled correctly.

  36. Johnny Zhivago

    In other mass transit news, some Republicans are demanding that Amtrak allow guns on board. The problem is that Amtrak is just not set up to safely handle guns in baggage, and if they had to, they say it would be easier to just stop running trains.

    So there you go, to Republicans it’s more important to let US Americans who will never even ride a train in their lives, have the possibility of shipping a gun with them – than to even have the trains operating.

  37. azw88

    In reality, they were pissed that there were no ‘whites only’ cars, seeing how DC isn’t a state and thus the constitution and supreme court cases shouldn’t apply.

    Seriously though, how fuckin stupid do you have to be to not be able to get around DC on the Metro?? oh, yeah, they came from southwest Texas, enough said.

  38. hobospacejunkie

    [re=413238]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Yes, and thay are from places that are aggressively segregated, aggressively uneducated and they aggressively like to drag black people to their deaths with their trucks. East Texas is just full of aggressively lovely people.

  39. PrairiePossum

    This DC Metro sounds like a publically owned transportation option. Don’t the fat tea baggin’ Texans know it is Un ‘merikan for a true patriot to choose any publically funded option? The slobs should have walked to their damn protest – just like Jeebus would have.

  40. WhatTheHeck

    if this Kevin Brady paid any attention to local budgetary issues

    I read that as if this Kevin Brady paid any attention to local buggery issues

    That would have made more sense

  41. Pithaughn

    Way off topic, but when do we get to play with our new toy, elected by real merikuns as the czar of “Not quite able to sing in tune”, Kevin Skinner?

  42. groove

    Why the fuck are Congress people on the twatz???? And is it too much to catch your misspelling of the word “couldn’t”, backspace a few characters, and correct it, you absolute douche?

  43. Come here a minute

    You people are misinterpreting his “no” vote on the Metro funding. He was just upset that taxes weren’t being raised high enough to provide fast, reliable service and a second set of rails for local & express trains.

  44. Crab1

    The metro ran well that day for a weekend. There was a huge triathalon the same day so I’m sure there was better than normal capacity. WMATA just didn’t expect all the jorts and stretch pants.

  45. V572625694

    “…complaining that the taxpayer-funded subway system was unable to properly transport protesters”

    Why didn’t his constituents take the free enterprise subway system? That’s the one I always ride.
    I hope their toilets aren’t connected to sewer systems back in…where was it, southeast Tejas?
    Well then, never mind. Free enterprise outhouses for all!

  46. skutre

    Hey that ICBM bag of dicks is my district’s Congressman.

    What are we, South Carolina?
    However, in all fairness, I will read this on the radio tonight minus ‘fuckin’, and will also ask that once he fixes the socialist people’s transportation in DC maybe we could get some in Hyooston, other than 8 lane freeways, that is.

    We come in loud and clear throughout ICBM’s bag of dicks district.

    -KPFT Houston

  47. Fighting Bill

    Geez, Mr. Brady didn’t realize that thanks to the excellent suggestions of Rush Limbaugh, there were separate Metro cars for blacks, whites and others, thus leaving fewer seats for the minority in that trio, the Whiteys. That thar is yer culprit, Massah Brady.

  48. RoscoePColtraine

    There I was enjoying my nice comfy, spacious taxi-cab, that I didn’t have to share with ANYONE, when they asked me to pay fifty dollars!!! I could have ridden the bus for, like, not even half that.

  49. doxastic

    [re=413138]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Believing in magic would be heresy. They believe that Buddy Christ swoops down on his flying angel unicorn borne by the power of intercessory prayer to fix our infrastructure. But now that a Muslin is in office, our potholes will never be filled with the love of Jesus!

  50. RubberSoul

    Looks to me like someone is scraping the bottom of the barrel for excuses as to why the Last Gasp of Crackerdom was so poorly attended.

  51. TGY

    On behalf of the Washington Metro system, I would like to express our regret that some demonstrators got their teabags caught in the sliding doors. We will implement safety measures in future.

  52. Larry McAwful

    I heard on FoxNews that they expected 1.2 billion Teabaggers but wound up getting 1.7 billion, though they weren’t even ready for 1.2 billion. However, if all the Teabaggers had been willing to pay for their own rides instead of enjoying the subsidized fare that taxpayer dollars make possible, they could have coughed up maybe $8 a ride like John Galt would have done.

  53. Larry McAwful

    And I think the Teabaggers have a real shot at a class action lawsuit over this. They’d better hurry up and do it before some conservative activists manage to pass tort reform. Time’s a-wasting!

  54. gurukalehuru

    [re=413162]FUNdamental[/re]: So the Metro was running and not overcrowded. Thank you for that. Even their stupid, hypocritical, disingenuous, double-think, tortured logic arguments are lies.

  55. Gumboz1953

    [re=413185]thejesusandmarycheney[/re]: It’s not a nigra. It’s a white lady from Woodbridge. Just sayin.

  56. Gumboz1953

    My guess is these wingnuts all congregated on the platform at the foot of the escalators, and didn’t think to spread out along the platform so that they might get in an uncrowded car. Although from the looks of some of those, um, hineys, most of them were “spread out” before they even spread out. They could have used a nice walk — say, back to Texas.

  57. BeWoot

    [re=413184]slappypaddy[/re]: Hah. Too right. I’ve lived in southeast Texas, where mass transit is a carpool. So no wonder the rubes were disappointed–they were hopin’ to see how them city slickers zip around all urban-like.

  58. Spam-N-Can

    Are these the same Texans who fork over tolls to drive their King Ranch Edition Ford Pick-ups on roads already paid for in tax dollars. Insult to injury, these same roads are now owned by furrin companies.

  59. DangerousLiberal

    This guy’s logic is the mental equivalent of auto-fellatio. Which most teabaggers and birthers can’t do.

  60. schvitzatura

    [re=413241]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Kevin Brady, for years, just plain hates the choo-choo (and also disaster preparedness, red injuns) regardless of location:

    Then:

    President’s Highway Cuts May Jeopardize Lives

    In his fiscal year 2001 budget sent to Congress this week, President Clinton proposes diverting part of the $3 billion federal gas tax surplus away from state highway spending to Amtrak, passenger rail service, natural disaster aid and improvements to Native American lands.

    . . .

    “Unfortunately, this proposal appears to be more about election-year politics than highway safety. It doesn’t make sense and I hope we can preserve our promised share of highway funds,” stated Brady.

    and now:

    Recovery plan passes – Houston Tomorrow

    Of the Houston-area representatives, the Houston Chronicle reports that Al Green (TX-09), Gene Green (TX-29), and Sheila Jackson-Lee (TX-18) voted for the bill, while Kevin Brady (TX-08), John Culberson (TX-07), Michael McCaul (TX-10), Pete Olson (TX-22), Ron Paul (TX-14), and Ted Poe (TX-02) voted against it. The first three also voted to preserve the Amtrak funding, while the other six voted to remove it from the bill.

    Would Brady be put off by Mexcan day laborers and palanquins, in lieu of Metro, for the next Bagger Cotillion in DC?

  61. awesomeguy#1

    “Twitter Mussolini” will make the trains run on time!

    …sorry, that was an obvious and a piss poor offering.

  62. Katydid

    O/T I just want everybody at Wonkette to know this. I was having issues with my computer, so I did an online chat with Dell Tech Support, and let the tech take control of my PC, which meant he could see everything on my screen (this will become painfully important). After he fixed it, he asked me to redo what I was doing when the problem occurred to make sure it was fixed (note he’s still watching).

    So since the problem was happening only when I was on Wonkette, when I trying to read this story, the Dell support tech, who KNOWS MY REAL NAME, now thinks I visit porn sites that say things such as, “Eat an ICBM of dicks, Kevin Brady!”

    Thank you Jim Newell, thank you very goddammed much.

  63. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=413426]Katydid[/re]: Thank you for the cautionary tale. Now we can all take steps to avoid such embarrassment.

  64. JSDC007

    At L’Enfant Plaza Metro Station.

    Teabagger obese Dad with brood of 6 plus obese/pregnant Mom, and other assorted family members puts $20 into machine, buys ticket for $20, then tries to shove entire brood plus extended family through electronic turnstiles. Metro attendant rushes over and says, “no can do, Daddy-O.”

    Much stupidity ensues, as family crowds around turnstiles in mock indignation (Government is screwing us of our right to be stupid and not read the instructions). A couple of non-teabagging kids come by and say “move retards.”

    Outside 1.7 billion pounds of douchebaggery continues.

  65. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=413450]Katydid[/re]: I wouldn’t worry (much). Besides, $10 says the Dell guy is probably nader paul kucinich gravel. Or shortsshortshorts.

  66. NYNYNY

    Sorry, teababies, you had to take cabs? Welcome to the libertarian future (minus constant shooting and black plague). Thank you WSJ for the “Seriously”.

  67. Pfunkallstar

    .—._
    .–(. ‘ .).–. . .-.
    . ( ‘ _) .)` ( .)-. ( ) ‘-’
    ( , ). `(‘ . _)
    (‘) _________ ‘-’
    ____[_________] ________
    \__/ | _ \ || ,;,;,, [________]
    _][__|(“)/__|| ,;;;;;;;;, __________ _| KEVIN |_
    / | | | |____ | | \| |
    (| .–. .–.| | —- | | ___ | | |\ |
    /|/ .. \~~/ .. \_|_.-.__.-._|_|_.-.__.-._|_|_.-:_\.-._|
    ==+=/_|\ ” /~~\ ” /=+( o )( o )+==( o )( o )=+=( o )( o )+=
    jgs=’==’=’–’==+=’–’===+’-’==’-’==+==’-’+=’-’===+=’-’==’-’==+=

    Rep. Brady offered up his personal train, but it was unavailable, busy hauling a steaming load of bullshit back to his hometown of Who the Fuck Cares, Texas.

  68. Baconbits

    [re=413246]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I was wondering when someone would point out that this jackass represents Jasper. The swamp people’s genes have not served them well…

  69. NYNYNY

    [re=413184]slappypaddy[/re]: And! Texas’s public transportation is all funded by private companies. No communist government intervention.

  70. schvitzatura

    [re=413452]JSDC007[/re]:

    They all should be placed in the custody of Carl’s Jr., for mouth-breathing, knuckledraggin’ DUMB!

  71. natteringnabomb

    Why didn’t they bend over and pull themselves up by the boot straps and walk like most socialist city dwellers?Because those fat fucks can’t see their shoes when standing.Not one of them could read a subway schedule anyway.

  72. DangerousLiberal

    [re=413573]zippy123[/re]: I hope it’s the red line–give them the one that always is broken, late, or killing people. For God’s sake, don’t even tell these assklowns about the Orange Line.

  73. Curved

    [re=413159]slappypaddy[/re]: Thank you for reminding my why I LOVE the English language! So beautifully expressive. Sorry for the interruption, Wonkeratti. Do carry on with your delicious, Denby-certified snark on teabagging woe, missed connections, and legislative buggery.

  74. carrieindc

    holy shit, i demand $$$ from the GOP for making me be late EVERYWHERE last weekend because those wingnut fatasses and their signs were consistently blocking both sides of the metro escalators and asking me nonsensical directions during their 3 day reign of hell in the city. one particularly ornery mouth breather said “I’m na movin’” on the Woodley Pk down escalator. thanks teabaggers.

  75. Pithaughn

    [re=413223]Way Cool Larry[/re]: I guess it is the fonetik speln. “koondnut” Mimic that crybaby that won the talent show and it will sound familiar.

  76. dougbob

    if the teabaggers had taken the time to notice they would have realized that those customer service oriented people at METRO were trying to run “whites only” trains for them. damn wingnuts can’t read and then they get sore about it.

  77. pacific slider

    “Public transit is our God given right!” a teabagger wasn’t heard saying while sucking down their grease ‘n fat plate at the local diner in Pit Sweat, Texas. “The main reason we are obese is that we are incredibly committed to riding transit. We want to walk, really! Transit is Socialism if it’s for liberals, or the browns.”

  78. glamourdammerung

    I am still a bit sad about my email going down last night so I could not send it to the tips line as I instantly knew everyone here would be all over this mess.

  79. chascates

    From http://theplumline.whorunsgov.com/stimulus-package/gop-rep-who-suggested-d-c-metro-hurt-912-turnout-voted-against-metro-funding/

    …Brady voted against Federal funding for the very same Metro he’s blaming for offering the tea partiers substandard service. [...]

    [E]arlier this year, Brady voted against the stimulus package. It provided millions upon millions of dollars for all manner of improvements to … the D.C. Metro.

    Every House GOPer, of course, voted against the stimulus. Still, it’s a real head-spinner to bash a government-run system for failing to adequately serve an enormous anti-government protest after opposing government funding for it.

  80. Trot Nixon'

    Funny, for the first time in months, my ride on the red line was pleasant and without delay on the 12th…

  81. lochnessmonster

    Maybe all these people live on another planet and they ended up here by mistake? I think if you explained to them that they are protesting against the spending they want for their conveniences they just could not understand it. Think about what else they don’t understand with their circular logic. (Read any Sarah Palin speech for examples).

  82. BerkeleyFarm

    I read elsewhere that Metro was told 5-10,000 people. The same source said that organizers of large events often contact Metro to arrange for and PAY for extra service for the convenience of those attending and neither of those things were done by Teabag Nation.

    Of course I am sure that minivans/tour buses could be hired for a moderate fee and take people door-to-door in air-conditioned comfort without all those uppity locals around. But that would also require planning and foresight.

    Organization FAIL.

Comments are closed.