Sad whine, sad whine: Some of our nation’s saddest Republicans are terribly upset that Barack Obama will not put in an excruciating bad-faith appearance on some Fox News program this Sunday. You see, Obama will be stopping by the other major networks this weekend to talk about health care on “Meet the Press,” “State of the Union,” etc. etc. but has ostentatiously foregone Lou Dobbs’ highly rated Mexican vs. Lion vs. Rick Perry Gladiator Sports Match. Joe Wilson, bold idiot, decided this is unfair! “If people are going to be on the Sunday talk shows, they should be on all of them.” Joe Wilson is a public relations dare devil, he is!

Cue support from GOP B-Team auxiliary human. Yes, hello, Pete Sessions. Action!

“I think that Fox News would ask some realistic questions that members of Congress are asked and the American public is aaaasking. [Um, sic?] And he’s the one who’s choosing not to take part in that,” lied the mid-level professional clown. Except no one beyond Pete Sessions gives a shit, least not Obama. [The Hill]

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  1. Joe when other white people are calling you racist and your son implies that people feel comfortable enough to tell you racist jokes that you don’t even have the good manners of laughing at don’t you think it is time to slink off into a corner someplace for a week or two? What? He is raising huge amount of money off of being a jackass. Oh, continue!

  2. “Mr. President, thanks for coming by the Fox News studios. Now to ask a question that has been plaguing all real Amurkins, are you the Anti-Christ, or just an African with Hitler’s preserved brain?”

  3. [re=413070]choinski[/re]: Wilson will STFU when the money stops rolling in. If only there were a way to send him negative money. Contributing to his opponent wouldn’t be so satisfying, but I think I’ll do it anyway, as soon as I find out who it is.

  4. I know this living in the past stuff makes animated young women like Meghan McCain roll their eyes, but I’d like to see the President appear on Vital Social Issues ‘N Stuff with KELLY.

  5. Socialist Joe. Fox Nudes should earn its presidential sit-down by the sweat of its own brow–not just have it handed to their lazy asses because Glenn Beck might cry that everyone else got one.

  6. [re=413080]V572625694[/re]: I want the entire Wonkette community to know that I would never advocate or suggest vandalism, petty theft, drunk dialing or toilet wrapping of Joe Wilson for Congress related facilities as a way to put a drag on his reelection campaign. Such actions would be morally and ethically indefensible. Definitley do not do these things every time you get the chance.

  7. Obama-wan Kenobi knows better than to voluntarily enter the Sith stronghold. Besides, Fox News wouldn’t know a realistic question, if it came up and bit them on the ass.

  8. [re=413070]choinski[/re]: No no, not “STFU.” The correct phrase is “stop being a Grade-A douchebag.” And the answer is, naturally, Whenever Satan deems it necessary to take his racist, wrapped-in-the-Confederate flag, arrogant ass straight to hell, or tomorrow… whichever comes first.

  9. [re=413092]Snarkalicious[/re]: The Wonkette Community should also not do the following things:

    1. Call in bomb threats to Joe Wilson campaign events
    2. Create false identities and, under these rubrics, promise to contribute enormous amounts to the Wilson reelection campaign in exchange for an opportunity to consult with the candidate on the real issues facing America.
    3. And at said meeting, the Wonkette Community should not appear in minstrel blackface, toting a banjo and singing “Darktown Strutters Ball.”
    4. And when rousted from said meeting by Wilson-paid thugs, the Wonkette Community should not scream bloody pacifist murder and beg “Don’t taze me, Joe!”

  10. Way to go, Joe — someone should be delving into why Obama won’t go on Fox News and answer Lou Dobbs’ pressing questions about why we’re letting in five zillion illegal Mexicans who are responsible for the current leprosy epidemic in the States. Or hit him with his plans to build a highway from Mexico to Canada, financed solely by Ameros and the blood of virginal American girls.

  11. Gosh, all those fine conservative values lovin’ Fox watchers would gain so much in an Obama appearance on Faux News Sundae!1!! What could the man say that would break through that much concentrated stupid mean spirited ignorance? Then again he could just mind fuck them by presenting a well forged Kenyan birth certificate and mugging for the camera and going “BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!”, laughing hysterically at them. He could then smile and do a Reagan: “The Homeland Security forces will begin rounding up retirees for the death panels immediately” again, hysterically laughing at them. They would alternately piss their pants and call their “cungrissmens” shrieking at them that the preznit has gone mad.
    But Barry has too much class for that…

  12. My crystal ball just lit up. You know what I saw in it? I saw Addison Graves Wilson, with personal bankruptcy and foreclosure looming, staring longingly at the tantalizing piles of cash the Supporters of Five-Year-Olds in Congress sent him, for his campaign. Only for his campaign. Oh, how painful, and how . . . tempting.

  13. [re=413114]The Other Sarah T[/re]: But given Wilson’s intellect, he would probably think it was a quaint yiddish blessing upon him. Especially if delivered with a big warm grin (as one is gritting ones’ teeth…).

  14. I want to know when Joe Wilson is going to appear on the public access show with the Black Israelites…because that would be the equivalent of this…

  15. [re=413153]Katydid[/re]: even better is the baby clothes…i think they make them as necessary…like the tshirt guy on the boardwalk…i doubt there are 1000s of those thongs in a warehouse somewhere…

  16. So goes the cycle of Joe the Whatever. Unknown shlub bleats out some bite-sized wingtard nonsense while the eyes of the Teevees are on him. For several weeks, his opinion of everything becomes Terribly Important. Inevitable mockery ensues. His name becomes a synonym for either bold dissent or media frippery, depending on how gullible you are. Then in time he is forgotten, and Joe the Next Thing is discovered.

    Please, wake me when the War on Joes is over.

  17. [re=413172]mookworthjwilson[/re]: You’re probably right. It’s just too weird, putting an anti-Obama message on your crotch. I’m assuming the people who buy that to make a political statement have crotches that are high-traffic areas, or else what’s the point. Maybe the target customers are fiscally-conservative hookers that service Congress.

  18. Wilson, incidentally, appeared on “Fox News Sunday” last week, but not on any of the other Sunday shows.

    The man cannot go a week without saying something unintentionally ironic.

  19. [re=413137]Rotundo[/re]: I don’t know. Given Republican tendencies, he’d most likely assume that someone was casting aspersions (which is like casting a voodoo witchcraft black magic spell, but worse, because of the Jews).

  20. FOX, alone among the major news networks, refused to air Obama’s health care speech, instead showing the all-important alternative to health care reform, “So You Think You Can Dance,” and marking the third time FOX has opted out of carrying an Obama speech. Snub away, Barry!

  21. Here are some of the “realistic questions” that Chris Wallace would ask if Obama showed up on Sunday:

    1) Mr. President, isn’t using death panels a waste when you could simply kill people yourself?

    2) Just how many times do you pray to Mecca in a day?

    3) A person born in Indonesia says “what”?

    4) Why do you hate America?

    5) Why do you hate White People?

    6) Why do you hate puppies?

    7) Who do you model your Presidency after the most, Stalin, Lenin or Mao?

    8) Mr. President, have you found out yet “Where the white women at?”

    9) Mr. President, are you disappointed that your attempt to turn America’s school children into an army of your obedient slaves failed?

    10) Rush Limbaugh says you like seeing white kids beat up by black kids. Why do you question Mr. Limbaugh’s patriotism?

  22. [re=413091]thejesusandmarycheney[/re]: Ha! They won’t accept donations from federal contractors, so I get the moral credit of wanting to help, but save the $200. Life is good!

  23. “If people are going to be on the Sunday talk shows, they should be on all of them.”

    Yeah because every OTHER week, EACH of those shows has ALL the same guests!

    Why won’t NObama honor our proud national tradition of five redundant shows?

  24. [re=413080]V572625694[/re]: On the contrary. I hope he keeps feeling so important that he sees himself as the messiah who will lead real Americans to the third party promised land.

  25. what, so they can deny his request for fear that he’s trying to “indoctrinate” their death panel eligible audience?
    and here i thought republicans were telling the truth when they said Fox wasn’t the RNC’s official propaganda arm. i’m shocked that joe thinks republicans/real americans can only be reached via fox.

  26. Fuchs noos reminds me a lot of Gov. Perry of TX. We want everything but we’ll tell you when and where to give it to us. No presidential addresses but come answer our slanted/stoopid questions.

  27. [re=413245]One Yield Regular[/re]: To be fair I believe it was the regular Fox channel that opted not to show the president’s address. Instead they showed “So You Think You Can Dance.” Still don’t think Obama should give them the time of day, though. Assholes.

  28. [re=413130]Darkness[/re]: “My crystal ball just lit up. You know what I saw in it? I saw Addison Graves Wilson, with personal bankruptcy and foreclosure looming, staring longingly at the tantalizing piles of cash the Supporters of Five-Year-Olds in Congress sent him, for his campaign. Only for his campaign. Oh, how painful, and how . . . tempting.”

    Brilliant, just brilliant. You worked in 5-year-old supporters, looming bankruptcy and foreclosure, and temptations to violate campaign finance law. Excellent.

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