Terrifying dentist-lawyer Orly Taitz recently filed another suit on behalf of some wingnut soldier who didn’t want to go fight in the various wars — although had no problem remaining in the military, in America! — because Barack Obama is from Kenya and cannot ergo make her do that, so there. Well, here is a judge in Georgia making fun of Taitz, and this soldier, for 14 pages. It is brilliant. [Court Doc]

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  1. “The American taxpayers paid for her third and fourth years of school and financially supported her during her subsequent medical internship and residency program. In exchange for this valuable free medical education, Captain Rhodes agreed to serve two years in active service in the Army. She began that term of active service in July of 2008 and had no concerns about fulfilling her military obligation until she received orders notifying her that she would be deployed to Iraq in September of 2009.

    Captain Rhodes does not seek a discharge from the Army; nor does she wish to be relieved entirely from her two year active service obligation. She has not previously made any official complaints
    regarding any orders or assignments that she has received, including orders that have been issued since President Obama became Commander in Chief. But she does not want to go to Iraq (or to any other destination where she may be in harm’s way, for that matter).”


  2. Another choice bit from the doc:

    “[She] claims that the President is “an illegal usurper, an
    unlawful pretender, [and] an unqualified imposter.” (Compl. ¶ 21.)
    She continues with bare, conclusory allegations that the President is
    “an alien, possibly even an unnaturalized or even an unadmitted
    illegal alien . . . without so much as lawful residency in the United
    States.” (Id. ¶ 26.) Then, implying that the President is either a wandering nomad or a prolific identity fraud crook, she alleges that the President “might have used as many as 149 addresses and 39 social security numbers prior to assuming the office of President.” ”

    I count at least 5 potential band names in there.

  3. Two years Medical School paid for by US America Gubbiment
    One coward who didn’t want to go to Iraq because she’s afraid to get hurt (should have joined the Peace Corps, dumbass) in violation of her contract with Army
    One whacked out insane Rooshin immigrant with no sense of irony
    14 pages of legal bitchslapping
    Plus having to pay court costs for everyone involved

    = Priceless

  4. If Captain Rhodes still has an itch to continue litigating, she could sue Orly Taitz for legal malpractice. At least there she’d have a terrific chance of prevailing.

  5. Furthermore, Plaintiff’s counsel is hereby notified that the filing of any future actions in this Court, which are similarly frivolous, shall subject counsel to sanctions.

    It won’t stop the Taint, but at least the next round will be entertaining.

  6. Here are scans of another(?) Barack Hussein Obama Kenyan birther certificate and signed affidavit from “Lucas Smith, an American” that Oily Taintz, Alicia Keyes, et al. filed in court a couple weeks ago.

    ORLY swears that it’s a “Kenian [sic] hospital Birth Certificate”, and World Nut Daily backs her up with their customary unimpeachable gusto!

    “Is that the footprint of [tar]baby Barack Obama?”

    Only time will tell WND! ONLY TIME WILL TELL AMERICA!!1!

  7. Our tax dollars at work. First we paid for her education, now we’re paying because she doesn’t want to fulfill her obligation. I thought repugs didn’t believe in frivolous lawsuits clogging up the system (see tort reform). Jesus wept.

  8. I do not wish to be in harm’s way. But I also do not wish to have my dental school education paid for. So I’m good. What is Rhodes’ problem? How can someone intelligent enough to complete dentist school also be dumb enough to fall for the chicanery of O. Taitz?

  9. hilarious…this coward/birther tried to get out of going to Iraq, after getting a free education on the us gov., and now she has to pay the govt. it’s court costs…good job goober

  10. “If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn’t be, and what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?” That’s an Alice in Wonderland quote, but damn if that doesn’t sound like an Orly Taitz interview response.

  11. This is a fundamental injustice to Alice in Wonderland.




  12. I like this judge. In a relatively brief (BRIEF! get it?) document Dr. Orly is dismissed as a crank and the nutjob Captain is revealed as a chickenshit sponging off the American taxpayer. I love this country.

  13. “Any middle school civics student would readily recognize the irony of abandoning fundamental principles upon which our Country was founded in order to purportedly ‘protect and
    preserve’ those very principles.”

    This judge’s faith in the quality of middle school civics education is adorable.

  14. {{{snort}}}

    The doc also references the Resolution commemorating Hawaii’s statehood that recognizes Hawaii as the birthplace of President Obama. The resolution that even Republicans voted for.

  15. Come on Connie, pull your head outta your ass and jump on the team for the big win.

    Besides, Iraq and the ‘stan are absolutely lovely this time of the year. The T’s are hauling ass for the mountains for the winter and Iraq is just another useless bag-o-shit banana republic.


    give back the mother fucking college money that uncle sugar paid you’re useless ass to get a degree (with interest, just like a student loan), resign you fucking commission and go join your little band tea-bagging, self-declared martyr overlords

  16. Hey, that’s lawyer/dentist/real estate agent! Being a real estate agent is the most credible, based I those I have known, and the similarity of their intelligence levels to a bag of dirt.

  17. I bet the opinion also contain about 4-5 interjections per page from this crazy bitch: “Dho I get to tok now? OKOK, youf had yer say. Let me pliss, if I may…”

  18. “Then, implying that the President is either a wandering nomad or a prolific identity fraud crook, she alleges that the President “might have used as many as 149 addresses and 39 social
    security numbers prior to assuming the office of President.”
    Wandering Nomad/Gog Magog 2012!

  19. I’d say let her pay back the Government for her medical education and stipends and then dishonorably discharge her. Or face a court martial, lose (99% end in conviction, you know), go to the rank of E-1, and practice in a little cell at Leavenworth for that stunt. The charge: cowardice. From the UCMJ: “Cowardice” is misbehavior motivated by fear.

    And Felony Stupid, of course.

  20. [re=412353]Carl Spakler[/re]: Damn you’re – your you-your….

    Yes, I’m more than a little pissed off….we now return to your regularly scheduled snark

  21. [re=412323]dementor[/re]: [re=412339]magic titty[/re]: [re=412350]Flanders[/re]: I heard a bootleg of Wandering Nomad’s jazz-punk cover of “Midnight at the Oasis” with guest vocals by Taylor Momsen and it KICKED ASS.

  22. [re=412323]dementor[/re]: That was my favourite part as well, I particularly enjoyed “Wandering Nomad’, oh and where do I send my slightly used knickers so that the Mighty Judge Land may enjoy them?

  23. [re=412331]Extemporanus[/re]: The forger of that Fake Kenyan Birth Certificate (aka FKBC#2) Lucas has had a “come to Jeebuz” moment and has been spilling his guts on his YouTube Channel.

    In the comments (he is Inspector Smith), he says that Orly doesn’t have a clue what she is doing, and that she tried to get him to commit perjury.

    Pretty strange when a previously convicted forger won’t lie.

  24. Well hell, that Judge Clay D. Land is just one of them “activist judges” we’re always hearing talk about. A good old REPUBLICAN judge would’ve kicked out that Illegal Usurping Wandering Nomad Alien.

    What? Clay D. Land was nominated by George W. Bush and approved by the Republican Senate in 2001?

    Never mind.

  25. Apart from the obvious holding in the order, the only parts that make a difference are that 1) plaintiff has to pay back the defense (U.S. Government) for the costs to defend that nonsense, and 2) if the lawyer files any more lawsuits in that matter, the the court will attach sanctions for filing frivilous lawsuits.

    Neither item is a small matter. The court precedent should put an end to any such claims filed by anyone related to Obama’s birth. Pressing such a claim in court is now, in effect, illegal and subject to civil penalties. No doubt, the birthers will see it as proof that they are right, and the government has silenced them. Then again, twisted logic is their only ally.

  26. [re=412323]dementor[/re]: Unlawful Pretender played at the Wisconsin State Fair when I was a kid. If I remember correctly, their acoustic cover of “I’ll Stand By You” wasn’t half bad.

    I’m going with Prolific Identity as my new band name. It will consist of me, myself, and I, our fans will be yours truly, and they will be legion!

  27. [re=412371]dave666[/re]: rule 11 sanctions in federal court are no frivolous matter to any sober attorney. they are a banhammer that would leave a wonkette editor wet with delight.

  28. Sorry, Orly*, though your platinum-blond, raccoon-eyed skankiness has its appeal, my heart belongs to Juli.

    *insert something about ‘StarKist’ and ‘tuna with good taste’, which probably doesn’t apply to our beloved Ms. Taitz.

  29. [re=412362]steverino247[/re]: Agreed. I like the part where the judge recognizes that if the Captain doesn’t go she’ll be screwing over the person she’ll be replacing. And c’mon, Captain Cowardly, you’ll be practicing your trade in an air conditioned trailer on a huge base. WTF? It’s not like you’re in the Infantry. Do your job.

  30. [re=412321]Litlebritdifrnt[/re]: For second I thought, “Georgian Judge?! Made this decision?!” And then I read the comments and thought, “Oh yes, Georgia is still the same as it’s always been.”

  31. From the comments section:

    “09/16/2009 02:33:23 PM:

    Myar, it is becoming painfully obvious that you are not aware of how our legal or our political systems operate.
    IF it turns out that Pres. Obama is not qualified to hold office (and I wouldn’t hold my breath on that one), then VP Biden would take office.”

    Cue Biden Kenyan BC in 3… 2… 1…

  32. [re=412378]Dangerous[/re]: It’s only restricted to that judge’s court. Orly will soon be traveling the land until there are no more federal benches left in which to file this or similar claims. She’s like that guy with no social skills who asked every single girl in high school to be his prom date. Most people would get discouraged after three or four rejections, but not the mighty Taitz.

  33. Typical liberal media. You don’t mention the good things, like where the judge said that his teeth are now looking much better after his last visit to Dr. Taitz.

  34. Orly is fishing for some right-thinkin real ‘mericum judge to give her nattering nonsense a fair hearing….eventually dentist-lawyer is going to find someone to list to her bat-shit craziness.

  35. Whatever Orly ever has to say about today’s ruling, I am sure that she will say it in one continuous 45 stretch without ever taking a breath or blinking.

  36. I am not normally wont to get excited sniffing reading legal briefs, but I am sporting serious wood right now and may have to take the rest of the day off.

  37. [re=412435]Min[/re]: I probably would have spent half the opinion mocking “Oh Really Taintz” name . . . I guess that why he’s the judge and I’m just the law talking guy . . .

  38. Captain Rhodes would have had more success avoiding deployment if she’d simply claimed to be gay. Is going Birther less shameful for her? What a twatnozzle.

  39. [re=412511]Dean Booth[/re]: Don’t be silly. Scalia and Thomas doesn’t need to do anything as sorted as join the birther movement. Under the binding precedent of Bush v. Gore the Supreme Court is required to anoint the Republican candidate as President regardless of the facts.

  40. [re=412511]Dean Booth[/re]: I’m beginning to think that Hopey should ask the Court for an emergency ruling on his eligibility to be President just to force Thomas, Scalia, and Roberts to either acknowledge his right to hold the office or show us just how stupid they are.

    When the Supremes made Bush president in 2000, we were told we had to “get over it” and be loyal Americans. Even Al Gore said “he’s my president now” for crying out loud! I think it’s their turn to show some loyality for a change.

  41. [re=412324]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
    “One whacked out insane Rooshin immigrant with no sense of irony”

    Hey, don’t hang that monster on us! She’s Israeli, I think.

  42. Citing an AOl poll and “the general opinion in the rest of the world” is pretty powerful evidence. I expect this decision to be overturned on appeal. Okay, not (O)rly.

  43. [re=412566]desertwind[/re]: Baucus refused the Repugs ‘no negroes need apply’ amendment to his health insurance bill. Therefore, Oily’s suit is the Repugs next-best-hope to disqualify Obama from getting ObamaCare.

  44. [re=412552]Jobbotch[/re]: Russian by way of Israel. And she has likely left a trail of crazy a mile wide everywhere she has lived.

    I love it when judges really lay into a frivolous claim; doing so allows them to relive a little of that fire they had as lawyers and keeps them sane.

  45. I’m sure a lot of German officers got completely out of service during WW-II by filing a lawsuit claiming that the Reichschancellor was an Austrian housepainter.

    I’m sure of it…

  46. Yay! I live in Columbus and know Judge Land, I knew he would punt this bullshit case out, THOUGH it WAS entertaining seeing Orly downtown during the afternoon when I was on my lunch break(getting drunk). For once GA haz made me teh proud. In person she looks like a tranny hooker the G.I.’s here at Ft. Benning pick up regularly. Also.

  47. [re=412378]Dangerous[/re]: Actually, the sanctions would only happen if she pulls that nonsense again in their court. I have long thought that is the reason she is trying to bounce around to as many different courts as possible.

  48. [re=412331]Extemporanus[/re]: Interesting that the officials signing that new ‘birther’ certificate used the American date format (mm/dd/yy) when Kenya was a British protectorate…

  49. [re=412378]Dangerous[/re]: Well, not really. Only in that court. But fingers crossed Orly is nutty enough to appeal. I can see a Court of Appeal taking the case and slapping her down. Then at least it would be binding for the whole circuit.

    Not that the Fourth Circuit is any sort of bastion of justice, mind.

  50. [re=412672]glamourdammerung[/re]: [re=412725]Canuck13652[/re]: She may have only received notice for his court, but after Judge Land’s ruling it seems inevitable any such frivolous action filed by her will be met with a motion for sanctions under Rule 11(c), wherever it may occur …

    How will she respond? Oh, fun!

  51. Two lessons:
    1. If Orly Taitz’s lawyering skills are any indication of her dentistry skills, that woman performs root canals through a patient’s anus.

    2. The court’s decision shows you what a high bar there is to being declared a vexatious litigant. It is not enought that you are bat-shit crazy on the first go or even the fourth go. The courts put up with a lot of bat-shit craziness before they finally say enough. Our justice system would be a lot more efficient if judges could just find someone bat-shit crazy on the first go and stop all the never-ending nonsense. The amount of money innocent folks (and our government) have to spend to humor the bat-shit crazies is ridiculous.

  52. Dang! I don’t want her to go away. I think the birther movement desperately needs a leader who looks like a drag queen who doesn’t own a mirror and speaks with a villain’s accent from an old Bond film. Come on, classic, predictable leadership for the black helicopter fearing crown, no?

  53. You may think where you live is cool, but I used to live in Macon, Georgia, which can claim: Otis Redding, Little Richard, the Allman Brothers and Judge Clay Land. Step up, bitches, what you got?

  54. Come here, Orly. Open wide, that’s good. Now bury your nose deep in my pubic hair whilst I rest my balls on your chin for a moment. Don’t mind me, carry on.

  55. You know, it’s about the time someone laid Rule 11 onto this bitch.

    Not only should Orly be sanctioned and investigated by the California lawyer discipline people, but her officer-plaintiffs need a taste of the UCMJ. How about Article 88, for starters:


    Any commissioned officer who uses contemptuous words against the President, the Vice President, Congress, the Secretary of Defense, the Secretary of a military department, the Secretary of Transportation, or the Governor or legislature of any State, Territory, Commonwealth, or possession in which he is on duty or present shall be punished as a court-martial may direct.

    [re=412668]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: Tell us more of these Ft. Benning tranny hookers. I’m sure many of us Wonketteers enjoy a good trap…

  56. This is what it’s like to get bitchslapped by a Judge – in a footnote, where judges love to bitchslap.

    The Court observes that the President defeated seven opponents in
    a grueling campaign for his party’s nomination that lasted more than
    eighteen months and cost those opponents well over $300 million. See
    Federal Election Commission, Presidential Pre-Nomination Campaign
    Disbursements Dec. 31, 2008,
    20090608Pres/3_2008PresPrimaryCmpgnDis.pdf (last visited Sept. 15, 2009).
    Then the President faced a formidable opponent in the general election who
    received $84 million to conduct his general election campaign against the
    President. Press Release, Federal Election Commission, 2008 Presidential
    Campaign Financial Activity Summarized (June 8, 2009), available at It would
    appear that ample opportunity existed for discovery of evidence that would
    support any contention that the President was not eligible for the office
    he sought.

    Furthermore, Congress is apparently satisfied that the President is
    qualified to serve. Congress has not instituted impeachment proceedings,
    and in fact, the House of Representatives in a broad bipartisan manner has
    rejected the suggestion that the President is not eligible for office.
    See H.R. Res. 593, 111th Cong. (2009) (commemorating, by vote of 378-0,
    the 50th anniversary of Hawaii’s statehood and stating, “the 44th
    President of the United States, Barack Obama, was born in Hawaii on August
    4, 1961”).

  57. Birther Orly Taitz Compares Self To Mandela, Wants Judge Tried For Treason

    In an interview with TPM just now, Birther evangelist Orly Taitz fired back at Clay Land, the U.S. district court judge who tore apart Birtherism and threatened Taitz with sanctions in an order today, saying that “somebody should consider trying [the judge] for treason and aiding and abetting this massive fraud known as Barack Hussein Obama.”

    “This is so outrageous what this judge did — it goes in the face of law and order,” said Taitz, reached at her office in Mission Viego, CA. “Not every judge is as corrupt as Judge Land. Some judges believe in the Constitution. And some judges believe in the rule of law.”

  58. The Lulzcow versus Land cage-match: like putting Pee-Wee Herman up against Joe Louis.

    “Not every judge is as corrupt as Judge Land. Some judges believe in the Constitution. And some judges believe in the rule of law.”

    Oh, if only she’d said that in court.

    I look forward to hearing about her getting kicked out of Detox for screaming non-stop at her fellow meth-heads about “the Kenyan usurper” – & not even the most craven FoxNews media-whore will gives her so much as a twenty for her sob-story … 2012? 2014? Next March? The sooner the merrier.

  59. In response to those people who correctly assert that sanctions might apply to Ms. Orly only in that court, You can me sure that with this ruling if she (or anyone else) tries to file a similar lawsuit, opposing counsel would certainly file a Rule 11 motion seeking dismissal and sanctions. The defense would cite this judge’s opinion, and any litigant and counsel filing the lawsuit should have been aware of that ruling.

    Note that each court doesn’t have to give the plaintiff (or defense, for that matter) very much latitude in filing frivilous lawsuits or motions. A plaintiff and their attorney will now have to think twice about filing another claim, since they will have to expect almost immediate dismissal, will be forced to pay the defense’s costs, and would likely be sanctioned. The last penalty is punitive, but the others are likely to be too expensive to make the fools-errand worthwhile.

    Not that this will matter. They’ll take the court ruling as proof that they are right since now the courts *have to* protect Obama from proving he’s a U.S. citizen.

  60. I could probably rant about this woman’s (Orly) insanity and need for a padded cell, but if she tries again maybe the judge will take care of that for us. Or I could go on about how he/she has incited the racists to show their true colors, and how destructive her actions have been for our country. That, by her ridiculous low brow ignorant way of thinking, it would also be acceptable for the ‘sane’ people of the nation to join together and file a class action suit against her for all the hate and racism she has incited, or dozens of other reasons.
    But what I just can’t get over is that ANYBODY would be listening to this woman (she is a woman, right? there have been questions about that too) who brags of not only being a lawyer and a dentist, but also a Realtor. Really??
    Seriously, someone lock her insane rear-end up in a padded cell, give her shock therapy of something. Maybe her brain cells will be activated. Otherwise, send her racist a** back to Austria where she can try to re-institute her ‘pure race’ campaign and they will already know what to do with her. I’m sure they will not be as tolerant of her hate filled thoughts as Americans have been. Maybe that’s why she ran from there to begin with.

  61. [re=412831]shadowMark[/re]: Uhh, Taintz was not born in Uhmerika. If Sarah Palin for any reason cannot fulfill her duties as Ms. America (aka POTUS) then ORly will have to accend to the orfice. Which she will be ineligable 2 do unless she can produce a birth certificate that shows that she was born in Honolulu, Hawaii on Aug. 4, 1961.

  62. That last post was a reply to “Palin/Taintz 2012”

    Dr. Taintz needs to run for congress and be swept in during the 2010 Repub landslide – which will happen because libtards don’t vote in mid-term elections. “What? There’s no election if no one’s running for president.”

    The new republican congress will impeach and deport B.H. Obama and then impeach Biden just because, making the new Speaker of the House John Boner president.

    President Boner will repeal admendments 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 19, 22, 23, 24, and 26. The 2nd amendment will be amended to insert the words “of white men” between “the right” and “to bear arms”. All liberals, muslins, sex perverts (That is homosexuals not republican politicians), anyone not being a full tithing memebr of the new official American Christian Church, and “Obama voters” will be rounded up and shipped to the new Gitmo, formerly called Puerto Rico.

  63. Old Man Dotes: Have you read that joke of a refiling yet? The rule she quotes seems to me that responses to motions have to be made *within* twenty days… but she turns around and bizarrely says the rule means the court was not allowed to respond *until* twenty days had elapsed. WTF? I mean, I know English isn’t her first language, but her very first argument is PREPOSITION FAIL.

    Then she goes on to basically ramble on with a conspiracy theory about how the 11th District Court is corrupt, bought and paid for by the eeeevil shadow libruls.

    I swear, it’s like reading the diary of a paranoid schizophrenic. I was so dumbfounded by her train wreck of a response that I had to register and post here just to express my amazement.

  64. For any doubters, here is the link to the court’s website posting of the actual opinion: You can backtrack from there to get to main website for that district court as well, for heavy-duty double-checking. (Y’all made me doubt, made me do it too … .)

    Hooray for judges who can put aside potential partisan alliances (note who appointed Judge Land) and lay a righteous smackdown on attorneys who file garbage claims. (As an attorney, this pisses me off as well … makes us all look bad.)

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