Max Baucus' New Bipartisan Bill Despised By Every Single Republican, Dead Or Alive

It's Christmas in the Senate Finance Committee! Max Baucus has crafted his latest proposal for bipartisan health care reform by doing what responsible centrists always do: lopping off a random $100 billion from the price tag and declaring, "this is bipartisan, now." It features all sorts of lovely concessions on significant planks of the earlier bills: it lowers the expansion of Medicaid, caps the employer health care tax exemption, drops the public option (and its slave, the Trigger), and LITERALLY WILL NOT ALLOW ANY ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT TO BE ALIVE. In return for these concessions Max Baucus received such kind words from Mike Enzi and Chuck Grassley as, "Fuck you Max," "Fuck your stupid bill Max," and "Die, Max Baucus."

Mr. Enzi issued a statement on Wednesday morning expressing disappointment and criticizing Democrats for insisting that Mr. Baucus unveil his proposal before differences could be completely resolved. He also expressed opposition to some core components of the proposal, including the expansion of Medicaid.

“Unfortunately, there are fundamental issues that we were not able to resolve by the deadline that was set for us,” Mr. Enzi said in his statement. “I am deeply disappointed that we could not take the time to find ways to resolve these issues. The proposal released today still spends too much, and it does too little to cut health care costs for those with health insurance. At a time when our nation faces a $9 trillion deficit, we should target assistance to those in the greatest need without creating unsustainable new entitlement programs.”

Mr. Grassley, the senior Republican on the Finance panel, issued a statement late on Tuesday outlining similar concerns and lashed out at the White House and Congressional Democratic leaders for not giving more concrete assurances that any bipartisan deal in the committee would be upheld in the months ahead.

Olympia Snowe released a statement which was just a doodle of her stabbing Max Baucus in the back of the head.

C'mon, just look at the kindergarten-level shit they are having to put into this insanely monumental bill, to sate the desires of certain adult humans:

The proposal requires that the government must guarantee that at least one plan in each state’s exchange provide coverage for abortion services and that at least one plan in each state’s exchange denyabortion coverage.

Under the proposal, illegal immigrants would be barred from purchasing insurance through the new exchanges even if they could afford to pay the full cost on their own.

And the proposal would require strict verification of immigration status for anyone seeking to buy coverage on the exchanges, a potentially costly and labor-intensive process. Only citizens and lawful immigrants could seek subsidies to help them purchase insurance.

This will do wonders for sunk costs in the emergency room! Why don't we just declare open season? "See a taco-eater? shoot the fucker" will be the first sentence in Section 1 of the next iteration, the $750 billion one. Enzi will say "WHAT ABOUT THE BLACKS, WHEN DO WE SHOOT THE BLACKS," Grassley will just get lost on his way to the office, etc etc...

 Baucus Offers Health Plan, Trimming Cost to $856 Billion [NYT]