It’s Christmas in the Senate Finance Committee! Max Baucus has crafted his latest proposal for bipartisan health care reform by doing what responsible centrists always do: lopping off a random $100 billion from the price tag and declaring, “this is bipartisan, now.” It features all sorts of lovely concessions on significant planks of the earlier bills: it lowers the expansion of Medicaid, caps the employer health care tax exemption, drops the public option (and its slave, the Trigger), and LITERALLY WILL NOT ALLOW ANY ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT TO BE ALIVE. In return for these concessions Max Baucus received such kind words from Mike Enzi and Chuck Grassley as, “Fuck you Max,” “Fuck your stupid bill Max,” and “Die, Max Baucus.”
Mr. Enzi issued a statement on Wednesday morning expressing disappointment and criticizing Democrats for insisting that Mr. Baucus unveil his proposal before differences could be completely resolved. He also expressed opposition to some core components of the proposal, including the expansion of Medicaid.
“Unfortunately, there are fundamental issues that we were not able to resolve by the deadline that was set for us,” Mr. Enzi said in his statement. “I am deeply disappointed that we could not take the time to find ways to resolve these issues. The proposal released today still spends too much, and it does too little to cut health care costs for those with health insurance. At a time when our nation faces a $9 trillion deficit, we should target assistance to those in the greatest need without creating unsustainable new entitlement programs.”
Mr. Grassley, the senior Republican on the Finance panel, issued a statement late on Tuesday outlining similar concerns and lashed out at the White House and Congressional Democratic leaders for not giving more concrete assurances that any bipartisan deal in the committee would be upheld in the months ahead.
Olympia Snowe released a statement which was just a doodle of her stabbing Max Baucus in the back of the head.
C’mon, just look at the kindergarten-level shit they are having to put into this insanely monumental bill, to sate the desires of certain adult humans:
The proposal requires that the government must guarantee that at least one plan in each state’s exchange provide coverage for abortion services and that at least one plan in each state’s exchange denyabortion coverage.
Under the proposal, illegal immigrants would be barred from purchasing insurance through the new exchanges even if they could afford to pay the full cost on their own.
And the proposal would require strict verification of immigration status for anyone seeking to buy coverage on the exchanges, a potentially costly and labor-intensive process. Only citizens and lawful immigrants could seek subsidies to help them purchase insurance.
This will do wonders for sunk costs in the emergency room! Why don’t we just declare open season? “See a taco-eater? shoot the fucker” will be the first sentence in Section 1 of the next iteration, the $750 billion one. Enzi will say “WHAT ABOUT THE BLACKS, WHEN DO WE SHOOT THE BLACKS,” Grassley will just get lost on his way to the office, etc etc…
Baucus Offers Health Plan, Trimming Cost to $856 Billion [NYT]
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You’re doing a heck of a job, Maxie!
No public option.
No fix for Medicare to negotiate prices.
Idiotic fines and purchasing requirements that are thinly disguised giveaways to insurance companies.
Congratulations, I hate it too and I’m a raging liberal!
What were all those concessions he made in exchange for if he didn’t get any votes?
What a fucking sick joke this bill is.
So that’s what Sarah Palin meant by “death panel” for Trigger, huh?
Well, this is truly bipartisan in the sense that everyone in both parties thinks this thing is a steaming pile of rancid shit.
Many Republicans, including Mr. Enzi, are saying that Congress should take a “step by step” approach to fixing the health care system.
Step 1: Stall.
Step 2: Prevaricate.
Step 3: Obfuscate.
Step 4: YOU LIE!!!!!11!!!!
Step 5: ?????????
Step 6: PROFIT!
Raucous Baucus Caucus? Fail.
He didn’t insert a stipulation that ACORN, Iran, and Hugo Chavez can’t purchase insurance either? What’s the use of being a Blue Dog, then?
The irony is that without the passage of a functional health-care bill, Ted Kennedy’s body cannot be re-animated, yet bringing the good senator back to life if only for a short time is precisely what’s needed to pass a functional health-care bill.
and so consensus is reached. we get arguably half-assed reform, which i guess is better than no ass at all (republicants will know all about this), it will have problems because that is the way the way goes, the republicants will make political capital out of those problems, and all will get back in the ring to fight the next round.
i suppose democracy is better than civil war. or i should say, it is sometimes the most civil form of civil war.
or do i lie?
Max got fucked and no one even bought him dinner.
[re=412236]Dave J.[/re]: Nah, I think we have a couple more iterations before we get a bill that’s truly awful, as only a fully bipartisan bill could be.
I think I get it! This whole exercise is some kind of ironic performance art: it’s like Andy Kaufmann reading [i]The Great Gatsby[/i] until everybody in the club gives up and leaves. Except that here, “getting up and leaving” means “dying of uninsured pre-existing conditions.”
Now now, be fair. Most Democrats want Max Baucus to fuck off and die, too.
That’s funny— because last I heard Baucus’ bill was rejected by every Democrat as well. WHATEVER MAX. Keep fighting the shitty fight, you bastard.
Fuck Max Baucus. And Fuck the Democrats. And Hopey too, if they can’t pass
a bill that doesn’t line the pockets of the insurance companies without solving
the clusterfuck that is the US healthcare system. Any Canadian brides out there
want to marry a diabetic American so I can move somewhere with healthcare??
Ich bin eine Repubican?
Baucus is being overpaid by his employers in the insurance industry. He’s not even clever enough to sneak his favors into a bill that at least pretends to offer health care reform. Big Health needs to shop around for a better shill.
America has a litigious society. Can’t you people simply sue your politicians into oblivion for being douches who willingly and knowingly cause pain, suffering, and in some cases, death of their constituents?
No, I know you can’t. Just a frustrated foreigner wondering how health care can even be debated.
Sure, sure give that shit to Cigna. But, hmm, must find way to blame somebody for 20,000 + non-insured dying every year.
Wait a minute, weren’t some of them Messicans? Extra-super Bipartisan happy-time! Pages and Viagra for all of my 99 closest friends!
It should have included a provision to give everyone America a dildo so we can go fuck ourselves.
I am not a member of any organized political party; I’m a Democrat.
Gun-slinging Will Rogers Jesus man, that’s never been more true.
[re=412249]Bypartizoa[/re]: Wrong. We’re the ones who got finger-banged. The day after whatever abomination ultimately gets passed, America will be doing the Walk of Shame.
Yes, and as Atrios pointed out yesterday, the Republicans have scored a ton of points off of the health care debate, and they were talking about fake things like the death panels. Wait till they start talking about the REAL things, like cuts to Medicare, tax hikes (both those things are actually in this bill, and even if you can spin them, the fact remains that there IS a big tax hike), etc. in the bill. This thing is sunk. And the thing is, it sucks enough ass that liberals like me won’t rally around it. At least if they had come out with a public option there would be a hardcore group of liberal supporters ready to go to the wall for it. Now the GOP will make points that are 50% true, 50% exaggeration, and the liberals will be like “well, yes, but…oh, fuck it, this thing sucks. Whatever.”
[re=412240]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: You forgot the step between Prevaricate and Obfuscate – “Nauseate.”
[re=412249]Bypartizoa[/re]: Hey don’t worry about Max. He gets PLENTY of dinners bought for him.
Such a douche-nozzle. Glad we waited around for this turdburger.
At this point Dems should just socialize the whole fucking system and the bill should include a rider that requires Enzi and Grassley to cut each others balls off, saute them in butter and garlic, and eat them on the Senate floor. With Chianti. I believe Chianti is supposed to be served with eunuch balls.
[re=412252]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I’m loving this. Max is my senator, and I’ve been not a fan for a while, but he’s been Mr. Teflon in this state. That’s how he got into this powerful position. He’s going to be the scapegoat for this mess, and I don’t feel sorry for him.
There is no Red America or Blue America, there is only the Unites States of Fuckistan.
It’s time for the democrats to use the “nuclear (nuculer) option.
Eat a SAM’S Club economy-sized sack o’ Chili Cheesey Jeebus Dicks, Max.
Apparently his bill requires Americans to buy healthcare. I can’t figure out why that is easier or better than providing universal health care paid for by taxes. Don’t they amount to the same thing, more or less? yet one is kinda bad and the other, very very horrible.
“The doctors have met and agreed to remove half of your tumor.”
I say we stop funding ALL socialist healthcare immediately. Medicare, Medicaid, Tricare (military) and Veteran’s healthcare.
Because I sit next to a lady who bitches nonstop all fucking day long about how we need more jesus in america and less socialism (disconnect, anyone?) and then turms around IN THE SAME BREATH and bitches about how hard it is to find a dentist that will take Medicaid for her retarded kid.
Any Republican who won’t buy this bill, a bill that costs less than the 2003 Prescription Drug Benefit give-away to the olds, is a lying sack of Olympic Snow. Guys, and you too Lady Winter Olympics, this is a bill that any Republican circa 2005, i.e., when the Republicans in power would have loved. It’s all full of delicious market oriented provisions that would make any Republican explode in orgiastic capitalist pleasure.
But they don’t want the black one to sign anything. So Snow White and fellow sister tranny in arms, Tom Collins, will go Meh! in muddled Maineian-speak, and act like they are the Bronte sisters, when really they are just a couple of old, vicious hags.
Could someone please explain why this fucker from Mont. took so god damned long to create a “bipartisan bill” with no bipartisan report? And why the hell – if no Republicans are supporting the bill – are the Democrats making concessions? To what point? Sometimes, between all the fucking over, I forget whether it’s Republicans or Democrats who are more likely to give this nation Syphilis.
It’s like Baucus wanted to throw a party but only really cared if his Republican friends came so spent weeks asking them what they wanted at the party (lots of cake, Guitar Player, no Hispanics) but didn’t ask the Democrats what they wanted (public option, universal health care, Death Panels) and threw the party but none of the Republicans showed up because they suck and none of the Democrats showed up because they thought the party would suck and so Baucus is left at the party, hanging out with the only people who showed up– lobbyists– in a half empty apartment with lots of party favors everywhere wondering where all of his friends went.
Oh, the pathos.
…does anyone care to tell me who Max Baucus’s constituents are; maybe the people of “Whoville”?!
Jeebus wept. And so do I.
[re=412248]slappypaddy[/re]: Sometimes, a civil war would be preferrable to this Congressional Cluster Fuck, e.g.:
For every Southern boy fourteen years old, not once but whenever he wants it, there is the instant when it’s still not yet two oclock on that July afternoon in 1863, the brigades are in position behind the rail fence, the guns are laid and ready in the woods and the furled flags are already loosened to break out and Pickett himself with his long oiled ringlets and his hat in one hand probably and his sword in the other looking up the hill waiting for Longstreet to give the word and it’s all in the balance, it hasn’t happened yet, it hasn’t even begun yet, it not only hasn’t begun yet but there is stll time for it not to begin against that position and those circumstances which made more men than Garnett and Kemper and Armstead and Wilcox look grave yet it’s going to begin, we all know that, we have come too far with too much at stake and that moment doesn’t need even a fourteen-year-old boy to think This time. Maybe this time with all this much to lose and all this much to gain: Pennsylvania, Maryland, the world, the golden dome of Washington itself to crown with desperate and unbelievable victory the desperate gamble, the cast made two years ago….
William Faulkner: Master of the Run-On Sentence.
(WOLVERINES!
Sorry. Sorry.)
[re=412284]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: There’s a couple of us on here. In our defense, we had no choice- he never has a serious challenger for the primary and his opponent this last time? Bob Kelleher, Nutjob extraordinaire.
[re=412229]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Win.
Poor Maxie couldn’t suck enough corporate cock to please his Republican co-committee masters. Awwhhh. And the libs hate his bill too, because it’s more rotten than a barrel full of month-old eggs.
I guess Max’s bill is bipartisan in a way. Both parties hate it.
Poor Baucus. When will you learn that no matter how many times you’re a whore for big business, your GOP daddies will never love you.
Damn, that felt good. I’ve been waiting to say that for months.
Hopefully, Senator Baucus learns his lesson that GOP Senators are not interested in real reform and he can come up with a real bill that someone, at least, will support.
The only kind of bill that would pass is a GOP made bill. But that won’t happen because they basically want nothing.
Draft the bill you want, and ram it down their throat.
The bill only allows the shooting of soft taco eaters. Because only gringos eat crispy tacos.
[re=412249]Bypartizoa[/re]: No. We got fucked. And as soon as Max can zip up his pants, he will finish up by robbing us.
[re=412284]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I’m one. But Max bailed out on me and the rest of the poors around 2001, probably earlier.
Look, this immigrants-in-the-ER thing can be solved cheaply and efficiently. Just give the legals little blue sombrero patches that say “GOOD MEXICAN” and the illegals little red sombrero patches that say “BAD MEXICAN.” That way our doctors can devote their resources to what’s really important: grampa’s dick pills.
Single Payer
I never cared for tacos much (though in elementary school they were one of the better items offered for lunch in the cafeteria)– I’ve always been more of a burrito fan.
[re=412240]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Elisabeth Kubler-Ross couldn’t have put it better.
I think the bigger question is– does ANYONE like this bill besides Baucus? Or does even he hate it too?
If we just simplified the bill to one sentence, “Every American will be covered by a nationalized health care system except for the darkies,” it would receive universal support from the Real Americans and their congressmen. And Democrats would vote for it just to stick it to their progressive base and show how bipartisan they are. Sure RUsh and Glenn would still bitch about how the bill covers people of mixed heritage that look white but are in fact not pure, or that it also covers white nonChristans and feminists, but they’d be sufficiently pleased to not make a big fuss.
Is now the time for us to thank The Framers for protecting us from the tyranny of the majority? Because I don’t feel protected. I feel something large & unpleasant entering my rectum from without. Any system that allows a person who represents .002% of the population to be in charge of something this important is a fucked up system. Thanks for nothing, stupid Framers.
In fairness to Baucus, all he really wants to know is, can I surrender yet?
I’m so glad that we gave the Dems majorities not seen since 1933. Now they can un-fuck the economy, our 2.5 wars, an overall listless and bizarre foreign policy, an inept disaster relief bureaucracy, un-screw our infrastructure, get us on the path to renewable energy and straighten out health care…wait, what’s that you say, Baccus Bill…oh, never mind.
Happy fuckin’ days are here again!
Olympia Snowe released a statement which was just a doodle of her stabbing Max Baucus in the back of the head.
That would be “Max Headwound” of 80s TV fame, yes? I loved that guy!
Good God, man! Now that you’ve shit this turd out, please have the decency to flush it to hell.
There is a Latin expression that seems appropriate: “Baucus Fuckedus.”
Owning car insurance is mandatory if you drive a car, leaving you the option of simply not driving if you don’t want to be compelled to purchase insurance.
What exactly is the option here if you don’t want to be compelled to purchase health insurance? Not living?
Such a huge giveaway to the zombie lobby! Don’t people see what’s going on here?!?!
“You wanna insist those are real, Mizz Speaker? Well, I’ll be the judge of that.”
[re=412231]Holy Cow!![/re]: That is the very definition of a bipartisan bill: one that changes nothing, does nothing, wastes money (slightly less in each version!) and literally every human on earth loathes. It is immediately apparent to everyone why “bipartisanship” is so very important.
WHY IS BARACK HUSSAYN NOOOBAMA SO UNBIPARTISAN!!1!
Max Baucus is a useless pile of steaming shit. How could he be so stupid? He thought that if he just let the Republicans fuck him every day after school under the bleachers they’d take him to the prom?
Picture showing Sen Baucus’s description of how he strangled his own granny, and will strangle yours, next.
Well, there’s a couple more committees preparing offerings and we can always hope that at least one won’t be as bipartisan as bock-bock-Baucus’.
Disgusted with Baucus’ sell out of every one in America below the status of mega-millionaire, I have had a sudden vision of Ving Rhames looking at Max Baucus and saying, “I’m gonna get medieval on your ass.”
Can we just pass a constitutional amendment that makes people who look like THAT (2/3 of our elected officials) ineligible.
Seriously. I suppose I live a sheltered life, but I don’t know anybody in real life who has That Congress Hair. Do they use hairspray? Gel? I don’t get it.
Of course, everybody I know wants a single payer system, so what.
FINALLY SOME BIPARTISANSHIP!
Fuck you, too, Max.
The progressive left.
somebody tell oliver stone that should he decide to make a movie about this douche, he’d do best to cast peter fonda.
I’ve been watching the coverage. The Header for this story needs to be adjusted to read: Max Baucus’ New Bipartisan Bill Despised By Every Single Human Being, Dead Or Alive.
The left is the newest group Obama has thrown under the bus.
“Mr. Grassley lashed out at the White House and Congressional Democratic leaders for not giving more concrete assurances that any bipartisan deal in the committee would be upheld in the months ahead.”
What they mean is “lashed out at Democrats for not caving in completely to the desire of Republicans to make this a complete windfall for the insurance industry, since after all it’s not like the Democrats won any elections or anything.”
Baucus, the hooter transplant tester.
Dickweed.
MAX TARDCORE just nutted all over your smarmy libtard faces.
Great! The Insurance Industry lobbyists finally finished writing his bill for him. Now that semi-trailer truck parked at the Treasury can at last start loading pallets full of hundred dollar bills, bound for Aetna and United Health Care.
Personally I wish the teabagger olds would get their wish, end medicare. Have health insurance work like car insurance, where you pay by risk. Teenagers pay more for car insurance. This way all those old fucks teabaggin at the townhalls can pay say 50,000 grand a year for health insurance.
The Baucus proposals are dripping out of me.
If I were a conspiracy theorist, I’d think the Baucus Bill is put out there specifically to fail so they can then say they tried.
The only thing this bill does is ensure that the health care parasites get a new pool of hosts. The bill as it stands is actually worse than passing no bill at all. If this bill reaches the president’s desk and he’s stupid enough to sign it, he can kiss re-election and a Democratic majority, goodbye. Damnit, why can’t we just be taxed and given health care for all, already?
Doesn’t the White House and Congressional leadership get it, already? Single-payer is not some ‘fringe’ idea, anymore. It’s not ‘purism’, anymore. It’s not some leftist or Democrat thing; it’s goddamned common sense. It’s our only real option to both cover everyone and lower costs. Sorry, I don’t have any snark left for this. The idea that the rest of us are about to be delivered and fed to the insurance industry makes me ill, and that it’s about to be accomplished by a ‘Democratic’ president is even worse.
Here is a roster of all the right wing nut Senators and Representatives who, since they are so opposed to a health care program for the American people funded or otherwise operated even a tiny little bit by the Federal government, have withdrawn from their fat Congressional benefits package:
o
o
o
o
o
o
&c.
This bill does nothing to protect the fishing industry!
I just don’t think it is right that the Obamacare Bill requires every American family to purchase a giraffe.
Now, I know that technically that requirement “isn’t in the bill.”
But I’m not going to fall for that!
Both Boss BlunderRush and Sheer “Am I an Idiot?” InSannity told me that just because it isn’t in the bill doesn’t mean it isn’t in the bill.
No Giraffes!
Is that a picture of Dick Van Dyke dishing on the size of Mary Tyler Moore’s headlights?
The State Of “Yes We Can”, Minnesota Knows Better !!
1. As regards a make-believe scheme, the source of funding coming from a middle class is utterly against the commitment of Democratic party.
2. No cost-competitive advantage does not clear the grave concern about the unsustainable cost of overall health care program in the long run.
3. Even with some benefit for primary practitioners, the baseless scheme does not come with fundamental payment reform, or a pay for value reimbursement formula. It means that the insurer-friendly scheme is not cleaning up the concerns over a quality issue and $9trillion of deficit over the next decade.
((Here is some of CBO analysis : While the costs of the financial bailouts and economic stimulus bills are staggering, they are only a fraction of the coming costs from Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid. Over the next decade, the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) projects that each year Medicaid will expand by 7 percent, Medicare by 6 percent, and Social Security by 5 percent. These programs face a 75-year shortfall of $43 trillion–60 times greater than the gross cost of the $700 billion TARP financial bailout)).
4. For Medicare & Medicaid system to survive from the most wasteful structure on earth, enough savings by ways of fundamental changes need to be secured, in return, the savings thereof suffice to meet the goal of well-planned public option.
((Even with far less visits to docs, which average a half or a third of them in any other free states, Americans pay roughly twice as much per person right now)).
5. For the record, prior to nation-wide deployment of reform, The State Of “Yes We Can”, Minnesota influenced by Mayo clinic spends “20 percent” less per patient than the national average and 31 percent less than in the highest cost state. It highlights that no substantial tax raise is needed at least for sure.
((The $583 billion of revenue package, and the astronomical savings of public option aside, “20%” of $923.5bn (the combined Medicare and Medicaid cost per year, as of July) is around $184.7bn per year and 1.847trillion over the next decade, and this patient-centered value alone could be sufficient to meet the goal of public option)).
6. In brief, the long-awaited and most hopeful health care plan is to meet these criterias : Affordability, Quality, and A Check function against runaway premiums thereof.
Clearly enough, due largely to its lower overhead cost, purchasing power and fundamental payment reform, the well-planned public option would be an even better candidate than the fabricated scheme by THE INDUSTRY in these aforementioned regards.
Now is the moment to turn page to contemporary energy and financial upgrades glossed over in 8 years.
Look, a site where you can vent about Maxy – boy:
http://www.fuckyoumaxbaucus.com
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