Wonkette
The booming town of Buffalo, New York — which finally won its independence last year after suffering decades under of the private ownership and slave economy of Tim Russert — today is holding its Democratic mayoral primary, a.k.a. “the mayoral election.” And the current mayor, Byron Brown, has discovered (at :50) the single most effective last-minute pitch ever: promise all the old people new flat-screen teevees! (AND DON’T FUCK WITH MEDICARE.) [Political Class Dismissed]
I vote for Terrell Owens. A cleat through every flatscreen!
as a Buffalo expat, I want to know, where is my fucking TV?
“If there is any delay, it is you we pay.”
Jeebus… That Big Hollywood poet lady should use this in her next masterpiece.
So they finally cleared the Keymaster and the Gatekeeper out of that building?
Buffalo civic architecture sure is phallic.
REPORTER: It is crunch time, so this barn burner of a horse race could be a real nail biter as it goes down to the wire at 4th and goal with the eleventh hour breathing down its neck like a bat out of hell that totally dropped the ball with no one to blame but itself because it is crunch time.
Over to you, Matt…
No offense to Buffalo, but bless your heart, you’ve got some ugly olds.
No free basket of wings from the Anchorhead Bar?
norbizness: That’s the fourth Ghostbusters-related comment today!
Is there something that you & HoboSpaceJunkie would like to share with the group? Time to come clean: Which one of you is Ivo, and which one is Gozer?
IF IT DOESN’T HAVE CABLE SIRS I SHALL HAVE NO PART OF IT.
I’ve heard of Death Panels, but didn’t realize they were hi-def! Man, this killin’ old people thing is as easy as a push of your remote!
norbizness: “funny” story about city hall–when I was little, a dude jumped out a window or something and ended up getting impaled on the flagpole (that you can’t see cuz it’s behind the obelisk). they wanted someone from my dad’s commie union to come down and cut him down, but they said “oh hell no!”
LOL I always picture that dude, spread eagle with the pole running though his chest, even tho I never saw it. one of the many traumas of being from buffalo. Super Bowls, also.
Those TVs will come in handy when it’s time for the nice news reader lady to tell the geezers where to report to their death panels.
for God’s sake Buffalo, TAKE A KNEE AND WIN THE GAME!!
At least he’s trying to give something to the people, unlike Jimmy Griffin, who was mayor of Buffalo when I lived there as a kid, and who used to just threaten people belligerantly. Once he physically assaulted a judge who had sent his (Griffin’s) brother to jail, for voting in multiple states at the same election. He also, during one of the two blizzards during his mayorality that shut down the entire city for a week, told citizens that the best thing they could do was to “Get a six-pack, stay home, and shut up.”
Naturally, Buffalo re-elected him four times.
I used to work in that building. Its full of giant underlit art-deco statuary you only see in in a Batman movie.
Josh Fruhlinger: When I was a journalism intern, I slipped a Gay & Lesbian Youth pen into his pencil cup. On his desk. No, that’s not a euphamism.
That building has a giant hard-on, which suggests that the building on the other side of the square is really hot. Can we see a picture of that building too?
choinski: Gee, I thought it was the Spook Central building from Ghost Busters.
So, they built Buffalo on the remains of Mordor? That’s Erie!
It’s not socialism if it’s for the olds.
hiphophitler: it’s not that hot, but it is a total slut…hhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statler_Hotel
Extemporanus: I’m sorry I am replying so late, but I just played a game of Parcheesi.
I see from the flag outside City Hall that Buffalo has finally seceded and joined Canada, where everyone gets free healthcare and TVs.
Buffalo — making Cleveland look good since 1932.
Wow, Wonkette spotlights not just Buffalo, but to the community center four blocks from my house! Even though it’s in a roundabout sort of way, I feel honored nonetheless. Buffalo politicians tend to be Democrats caught in those boring “consensual hetero adult affair” or “misuse of grant funds” sort of scandals so I never thought I’d see the day.
Political Class Dismissed is run by Buffalo’s #1 Paultard/Teabagger/Self-professed libertarian. It is likely filled with a wealth of material suited to slow news days.
norbizness: Moranis as moran does, eh?
choinski: Oh yeah, how could I forget that, when local gay rights groups were trying to get the city’s first ever Pride parade off the ground, Jimmy casually referred to them as “fruits”? Good times!
choinski: “…giant underlit art-deco statuary.” Some of the best porn prose I’ve read on this site, ever.
The mayor of Buffalo contest - that’s one of those “if he wins, he loses” type deals, yes?
Crank Tango: hiphophitler:
Not quite. That’s off to the side. Except for the very phallic McKinley Monument (the obelisk pictured) the first building directly facing the entrance of City hall is the Public Library, three blocks away.
http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/12858305.jpg
I got my recycling bin from Hispanics United.
Even better, people were seen leaving polling places with a fresh bag of groceries today, courtesy of the mayor. Huzzah!
Crank Tango: Geez! That’s worse than my Pittsburgh childhood trauma about a workman who had his leg amputated by doctors outdoors in the middle of the day when it was caught in something as he was demolishing the Brady Street Bridge. Dude went to work on two legs and clocked out with one. My mother claims the amputation was not shown live on TV, although I could swear I watched it.
Crank Tango, Jukesgrrl: Yeah, unfortunately that picture has the obelisk covering up the location of the deadly flagpole over the entrance!
Crank Tango: Ooh, you’re right, the filthy bitch. She’s just asking for it.
Buffalo — making South Carolina look good since 1861.
So about how tall is that thing on a typical January morning? Just curious.
Crank Tango: I was in Downtown Buffalo that day at a job interview. As they tried to cut him down, he kept sliding down the pole giving the firemen fits.
The guy was a UB student who left a note saying he wanted to pierced by a sharp object. Ah now can I think of any teabaggers or tea bag organizers who I wish were UB students with similar fetishes.
Chickensmack: One other note, they showed the picture in long view on the Channel 7 news. Way to go IRV.
JoeMac: OK, was that U.Buffalo student by any chance taking a class in entomology? Just curious.
Can O Whoopass: I have been to Buffalo and I have been to South Carolina. Give me Buffalo any day. Great beer, wings (I have always preferred Duff’s near UB) Great Pizza (Bocce Club on Bailey) hot Polish Girls mmmmm have one with me to this day. And for those of you into culture there is the Canadian Ballet right across the bridge in Ft. Erie.
Can the mayor also promise that the Bills won’t choke EVERY time they play Monday Night Football?
Josh Fruhlinger: Ha, I remember that - I was at Buff State at the time, so that was fine with me. (the beer thing, not using the term “fruits” for teh gheys)
Yay B-Lo! I’m a transplant, but there’s enough blight to go around.
the problem child: Such a punny win.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in Buffalo, and I certainly didn’t go to admire the architecture, but that building is really Soviet/Stalinist.
JoeMac: I’d take Buffalo over SC any day. Don’t care how much snow I’d have to shovel. If somebody there didn’t like me, I wouldn’t have to worry about them letting me know by saying, “Bleeess yer heaaaart.”
And a flat screen teevee in every pot.
JoeMac: Canadian Ballet…. That is something I really want to see: pirouettes in snowshoes.
Bruno:…[T]hat building is really Soviet/Stalinist.
It reminds me of this architectural masterpiece of the formerly glorious Soviet Union:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1210/905307203_14e2db5cec_o.jpg
little known fact: buffalo is actually a suburb of toronto.
true real-life fact.