• May 26, 2012
FOR SHAME

September 15, 2009

Pete Stark Has No Desire To Pee On This Old Wingnut

by Jim Newell  

What happens when insane old men of competing political stripes, neither with any filtering capabilities, converse? PEE PEE RAGE. Here is comical Democratic Rep. Pete Stark, who has been proudly insulting constituents and colleagues for about 40 years, taking a question at a recent town hall from a standard-issue old wingnut — a frequent suckler of Medicare, to be sure — complaining about how Medicare is a terrible program and why does Pete Stark want to give more terrible government health care to people hmm? “Mr. Congressman, don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining,” the wry wingnut declares, to which Stark responds, “I wouldn’t dignify you by peeing on your leg, it wouldn’t be worth wasting the urine.” Ha ha. And then there are like 8 minutes left in the video so god knows what else happens; we have more posts to write… [Glenn Thrush]

{ 59 comments }

ManchuCandidate September 15, 2009 at 10:59 am

Isn’t this more of a comment you’d dump on David Vitter?

finallyhappy September 15, 2009 at 11:01 am

So give up Medicare and die and then the worms will pee on you(do worms pee?)

hobospacejunkie September 15, 2009 at 11:02 am

They’re not going to cross their streams, too, are they? Because I heard crossing the streams is bad.

So much urine. So little time.

thefrontpage September 15, 2009 at 11:05 am

But, what does Larry Craig have to say about all of this?

Maybe Craig can discuss the issue on Mark Foley’s radio show!

ManchuCandidate September 15, 2009 at 11:05 am

This old man, he did a One,
He wanted to piss on Stark’s leg;
Splish-splash stinky wee,
Give old Stark a wipe,
That old man needs a Depends.

bitchincamaro September 15, 2009 at 11:06 am

Though Pete did decline to urinate on his constituent, he later promised to shove a tennis ball down his throat. So, there’s that.

thefrontpage September 15, 2009 at 11:06 am

Just after this clip ends, Kanye West jumped up and grabbed the microphone from this guy and starting talking about he could pee on peoples’ legs much better than these guys!

West later apologized to Stark on the new “Jay Leno Show.”

jasper f. krone September 15, 2009 at 11:06 am

Rep. Stark is right. There are a dozen thirsty astronauts who would like nothing better than to get their hands (legs?) on that urine.

jodyleek September 15, 2009 at 11:07 am

“…wouldn’t be worth wasting the urine.”
Depends don’t fill themselves, people!

TGY September 15, 2009 at 11:11 am

Well, golden showers *do* bring May flowers.

NoWireHangers September 15, 2009 at 11:12 am

Ooooooooh Snap! No golden showers for Pee-Paw. And don’t cha just love the angry warbles of the old asshole wingnuts after Stark bitch slaps ‘em. God Bless America.

freakishlystrong September 15, 2009 at 11:13 am

Today, we are all undignified leg pee-ers.

ChernobylSoup v2 September 15, 2009 at 11:14 am

This is clearly Stark’s Sister Soulja moment.

What?

freakishlystrong September 15, 2009 at 11:14 am

Man, the level of discourse in this country is really down the toilet.

AllHat September 15, 2009 at 11:14 am

Why is this town hall meeting happening in jail?

norbizness September 15, 2009 at 11:17 am

For hyper-frequent constituent leg-peeing, have a talk with your doctor about Flomax.

SayItWithWookies September 15, 2009 at 11:17 am

So gay marriage is illegal, but men can pee on each other in public? These new family values are confusing.

Lascauxcaveman September 15, 2009 at 11:22 am

“…no, but I would like to take a dump on your chest, then sit in it and sort of, ya know, smoosh it it around with my butt. Would you like that?”

Spiro Agnew September 15, 2009 at 11:25 am

[re=411198]freakishlystrong[/re]: God that’s a bad pun, so bad I just ruined my depends.

joezoo September 15, 2009 at 11:27 am

“And then there are like 8 minutes left in the video so god knows what else happens; we have more posts to write…”

So you didn’t stick around to watch the part where they actually started peeing on each other? Shame.

groove September 15, 2009 at 11:32 am

“If he could get so much savings out of Medicare, why didn’t he do this one year ago?”

Obama has secretly been president since even BEFORE the election! This proves that B. HUSSEIN O. has no regard for the Democratic process! Wake up SHEEPLE!

Hed007 September 15, 2009 at 11:34 am

The worst part of this is the full minute and a half (edited down!) the coot takes to painfully and obviously build up to the big, big ancient joke he wants to say in front of all those people! You see it coming like a mac truck- he goes on and on. On and on, he’s going. And then it comes out so weak, thin, and unsatisfyingly. Maybe its not a going problem, maybe it’s a growing problem.

I’ve lost my train of thought, you old fucker.

widget09 September 15, 2009 at 11:34 am

That guy is just begging for a “golden shower”.

groove September 15, 2009 at 11:34 am

Also, Eric Estrada at 1:21.

sezme September 15, 2009 at 11:34 am

Is the Catholic church now punishing sinners for wasting urine too? Sheesh. All that spilled cum was bad enough, but what the hell were we supposed to do with our urine if not rain it down on the legs of elderly wingnuts? Pope Benedict, we beseech thee!

BadKitty September 15, 2009 at 11:37 am

So bald cancer lady & the rest of the dipshits in the room think everyone should provide proof of citizenship before being treated in the ER? Aren’t these the same bunch of dipshits who go bananas at the mention of national I.D. cards? Let’s say Dipshit A has a car accident and is laying on the pavement bleeding out but his I.D. card is in the burning vehicle. It will be kind of bummer for Dipshit A when the paramedics drive up, ask for his I.D. and then leave without treating him when he can’t produce his card.

I suppose we could resolve that problem by demanding everyone have a silicone chip implanted under their skin at birth. That would go over well with the dipshits.

widget09 September 15, 2009 at 11:44 am

[re=411228]BadKitty[/re]: I think the chip you are talking about goes in the right hand, unless you had that blown off in Iraq, otherwise it goes in the forhead. Chips Ahoy!

the problem child September 15, 2009 at 11:44 am

The rest of the video is hilarious as well, if only for the selective editing and written commentary from the teabagger/ minuteman videographer.

What happens if you pee on a teabagger? How long do you steep them before they are at their optimum flavour? A minute, man? Should you add lemon or milk? Sugar? Tea afficionados want to know.

Scrodd September 15, 2009 at 11:44 am

[re=411191]TGY[/re]: Golden showers bring COCKTOBER flowers.

bitchincamaro September 15, 2009 at 11:44 am

[re=411213]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Tasteless, yet priceless.

germansteel September 15, 2009 at 11:47 am

If it’s good enough for embassy guards in Kabul, it should be good enough for that old coot.

bitchincamaro September 15, 2009 at 11:48 am

[re=411228]BadKitty[/re]: But what if you have to change the dip switch on the chip in your dipshit? Will there be access panels?

Rotundo September 15, 2009 at 11:49 am

The Stupid! It burns! And unfortunately the good congressman doen’t have enough piss in him to cool it off.

the problem child September 15, 2009 at 11:49 am

[re=411213]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Hot chocolate parties are a whole other question. Will there be mini-marshmallows?

MysteriousHoatzin September 15, 2009 at 11:53 am

Stark/Frank 2012

This Obama feller is a bit of a disappointment. We tried. Time for foulmouthed west-coast atheists and east-coast gay jews who talk like Smee to try to fix this country up a bit.

the problem child September 15, 2009 at 11:57 am

This rather begs the question: Who would Stark prefer to be urinating on?

Way Cool Larry September 15, 2009 at 11:59 am

I did hear a new wingnut meme in there– that Obama in 8 months has raised the federal deficient more than in 8 years of Bush.

Oy.

Chickensmack September 15, 2009 at 12:00 pm

[re=411198]freakishlystrong[/re]: I was thinking the same thing with the Steele/Pelosi/Wilson argument. Maybe it’s time to stop all the jibberjabber and debate these bills with baseball bats.

The Church of Realism September 15, 2009 at 12:01 pm

Milkshake watersports.

QueenOfTheDamned September 15, 2009 at 12:06 pm

What I love most about all this is the way these senile old farts are making cuts to Medicare and all more attractive to the rest of us. By acting like, well, senile old farts. If you’d asked me two months whether I was in favor of death panels for the elderly, I would have just said “no.” Now I think I want them more than anything I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. Except, of course, the ability to do that head-exploding thingie from “Scanners.”

Downtheroadapiece September 15, 2009 at 12:12 pm

There’s an Obama wee-wee’d up in here comment necessary here but I am so tired of indignant, ignorant old farts and insular congressmen that I’m too weary to bother constructing it.

WhatTheHeck September 15, 2009 at 12:16 pm

Godammit, these old codgers sure like their govnmint to send them monies for their false teeth and liver transplants, but not if a black whippersnapper is running the show.

Dashboard_Buddha September 15, 2009 at 12:21 pm

Awesome…just awesome.

El Pinche September 15, 2009 at 12:33 pm

In short:

old 1: bahhh, youuu!!!

old 2: arrgg…you!! i blasted bahhh!!

Buzz Feedback September 15, 2009 at 12:34 pm

old people do a lot of bitching.

ladymacbeth September 15, 2009 at 12:35 pm

[re=411266]QueenOfTheDamned[/re]: and jet packs. don’t forget jet packs.

yellowdogdem September 15, 2009 at 12:35 pm

[re=411223]Hed007[/re]: It’s a prostate problem

Humpback September 15, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Actually, at about 5:46 Stark does pee on the guy’s leg. But it’s OK, because his socks had somehow caught on fire. So all’s well, everyone’s happy, and they went to Denny’s for the earlybird special.

The Real JR Revisted September 15, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Dan, this is Congressman Pete Stark, and I just got your fax. And you don’t know what you’re talking about. So if you care about enlisted people, you wouldn’t have voted for that thing either. But probably somebody put you up to this, and I’m not sure who it was, but I doubt if you could spell half the words in the letter, and somebody wrote it for you. So I don’t pay much attention to it. But I’ll call you back later and let you tell me more about why you think you’re such a great goddamn hero and why you think that this generals [sic] and the Defense Department, who forced these poor enlisted guys to do what they did, shouldn’t be held to account. That’s the issue. So if you want to stick it to a bunch of enlisted guys, have your way. But if you want to get to the bottom of people who forced this awful program in Iraq, then you should understand more about it than you obviously do. Thanks.

I’m faxing him requesting he impregnate me right now.

Guppy06 September 15, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Two lemons, one cup.

proudgrampa September 15, 2009 at 12:55 pm

[re=411184]thefrontpage[/re]: Only after Jay asked him what his mother would have said…

WBYeats September 15, 2009 at 1:33 pm

Nice special effects.

Extemporanus September 15, 2009 at 2:05 pm

MR. STARK: Trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to have a pissing match with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing so because only one of our legs would get wet.

MR. OLD: What?

MR. STARK: No, wet.

MR. OLD: What?!

MR. STARK: Jesus Christ! I said WET, goddamnit! Here’s an idea: Turn up that vibrating ear plug a notch or two, Polident yer pie hole shut, and maybe try paying better attention than a goddamn autistic 5-year-old, alright? Sheesh!

MR. OLD: I was told there would be refreshments.

coochiemama September 15, 2009 at 2:31 pm

[re=411400]Extemporanus[/re]: I LOL’d.

Werefrog September 15, 2009 at 5:10 pm

After years of Reagan’s trickle-down economics, you’d think he would be used to it.

dementor September 15, 2009 at 6:50 pm

Awesome. He’s the guy the Stark self-referral law is named after. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stark_Law

So thanks to Pistol Pete, the primary care physician who treats you for urea burns can’t refer you to his own Bedwetting Clinic or prescribe his own brand of Golden Showers Fantasy skin balm and scented talc powder.

BMK September 15, 2009 at 11:03 pm

[re=411400]Extemporanus[/re]: That is all kinds of awesome. I shat myself.

LowerdPeninsula September 16, 2009 at 12:02 am

[re=411183]bitchincamaro[/re]: “Though Pete did decline to urinate on his constituent, he later promised to shove a tennis ball down his throat.”

Win. When I saw Serena stalk in the direction of that poor, little line judge, I feared for that little woman’s life. Hell, Serena’s big enough to beat me up.

BeachLover September 16, 2009 at 2:38 am

I haz a luv for Pete Stark. Barry should make Stark appear at every townhall. He would certainly give these batshit crazies awesome and long overdue verbal smackdowns! Would love to see Stark go nuts on my representative, Peter King. That would be delicious.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: