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L'AFFAIRE LOAFER

America Has Given The Shoe-Throwing Journalist A Taste Of His Own Leathery Medicine

Back awhile ago Iraqi journalist Muntader al-Zaidi achieved international renown for hurling his loafer at our President at the time, George W. Bush. This was the like the “Kanye West doing something spontaneous at the teenager show” of its time! “George W. Bush is going to torture the shit out of him,” was the conclusion made in what everyone was pretty sure was hyperbolic jest. Anyway, long story short, apparently George W. Bush has been torturing the shit out of Muntader al-Zaidi since December.

This guy—who, by the way, has been nothing but trouble—has a lot of big claims about being whipped with cables and beaten with pipes and forced to endure electric shock. And something about it being cold. Now he’s going on about naming names, etc. etc., except he is pretty much 100% sure he will be killed, or tortured with more cables or electricity or chilly temperatures if he does so. This is probably true! The United States of America has liberated the BEST SCOOP EVER for this Muntader al-Zaidi and he is being just awful about it, really.

[New York Times]


10:05 AM on Tue September 15 2009
By Juli Weiner
4039 Views

  1. Never forget.

  2. SayItWithWookies says at 10:15 am, September 15th, 2009

    Well, they have to torture him — otherwise Iraq would be wracked with terrorist violence.

    What?

  3. rocktonsammy says at 10:16 am, September 15th, 2009

    “YOU LIE!”

  4. That quick reflex duck was the first and only time I was proud of gDub.

  5. Jim Demintia says at 10:19 am, September 15th, 2009

    That moment would have been so much better if W hadn’t ducked, and if the shoes had been hob-nail boots.

  6. magic titty says at 10:21 am, September 15th, 2009

    They’re torturing him because he missed.

  7. The hero with a lot of sole.

  8. V572625694 says at 10:23 am, September 15th, 2009

    Headlines a little outa whack on that NYT story: “Irawi shoe thrower…” What’s an “Irawi”?

  9. ChernobylSoup v2 says at 10:29 am, September 15th, 2009

    Jim Demintia: Killer hob-nailed boots full of anthrax?

  10. I hope he goes into the shoe business just to see his ad campaign.

  11. It wasn’t *torture*; more of a character-building, Outward-Boundy-type thing. He should be thanking W!

  12. Whip me with cords, beat me with pipes, whatevs, just keep away from teh genitalz.

  13. gurukalehuru says at 10:31 am, September 15th, 2009

    Now that he’s out of prison, and the U.S. (theoretically) is getting out of Iraq, al Zaidi should run for office. I know I’d vote for him, if I were Iraqi.

  14. charlesdegoal says at 10:33 am, September 15th, 2009

    An hyperbolic infinite jest perhaps? Or do you mean geste (or gest)? I consider the shoe throw a beau geste myself.

  15. It proves nothing, we torture everybody.

  16. Hobnail boots with anthrax and multicoloured mirrors.

  17. Bet you Fox/Beck pays to have someone throw a shoe at that dude for a WACKY stunt.

  18. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 10:56 am, September 15th, 2009

    MzNicky: Looks like somebody’s been watching too much Project Runway.

  19. BruceLee5000 says at 11:00 am, September 15th, 2009

    magic titty: FTW!

    “BECAUSE HE _MISSED_!!!” RIMSHOT!

    Such consistently brilliant, out of the [shoe]box Commenting is what keeps me coming back to Wonkette!

  20. DangerousLiberal says at 11:08 am, September 15th, 2009

    That’s why I say nice shot…nice shot, man.

    You know, a well thrown shoe that hits a normal person’s head could do a lot of brain damage. In this case, however, ….

  21. hobospacejunkie says at 11:09 am, September 15th, 2009

    MzNicky: Hobnail boots with anthrax & multicolored mirrors & and those bombs that release thousands of little bomblets that then explode & cut your balls off.

  22. Ladies and Gentlemen…meet your newest Wonkette intern.

  23. bitchincamaro says at 11:15 am, September 15th, 2009

    What’s a little hazing among fiends?

  24. AnnieGetYourFun says at 11:15 am, September 15th, 2009

    Maus: My guess is their response is more along the line of pointing out that Democrats were outraged at Joe Wilson for his outburst, but thrilled with an Iraqi throwing a shoe at the BAD Preznit.

  25. Car Ramrod says at 11:17 am, September 15th, 2009

    This guy must be tortured because he is the leader of the Asics of Evil.

  26. norbizness says at 11:20 am, September 15th, 2009

    Have everybody downloaded the Shoenstein 3-D for your portable video gaming device?

  27. In a perfect version of the afterlife, GWB would duck shoes thrown every 2-3 seconds for all eternity.

  28. Lascauxcaveman says at 11:34 am, September 15th, 2009

    MzNicky: “YOU LIE (with your eyes).”

  29. And too: Bush did exhibit an uncanny knack for ducking thrown objects. Kinda like he’d been doing it all his life!

  30. Well this will make receiving the Nobel a little more challenging for Mr. al Zaidi. But the revenues from the signature versions of the infamous shoe should be some consolation. Last I had heard, they were sold out of that style in the middle east footware dealers for decades to come.

  31. Death Panel Wagon says at 12:05 pm, September 15th, 2009

    Well they had to torture him to prevent imminent attacks. Remember the shoe bomber? We can’t just sit around, waiting for the other shoe to drop!

  32. proudgrampa says at 12:49 pm, September 15th, 2009

    MzNicky: Mother Superior jump the gun!

  33. richardwb1 says at 12:59 pm, September 15th, 2009

    MzNicky: “They have ears, but they do not listen.”

  34. norbizness says at 1:43 pm, September 15th, 2009

    MzNicky: I think Barbara used to chunk one of her size 12 clogs at him when she’d catch him abusing his manhood to pictures of roadkill.

  35. gertrudis says at 2:08 pm, September 15th, 2009

    Ms. Weiner, I worship your subhead. And MzNicky.

  36. skutre: Makes me wonder if Laura throws shoes at him a lot.

  37. davesnothere says at 10:52 pm, September 15th, 2009

    In a tragic miscommunication, his actual mission was to throw “a couple of used rubbers.”

  38. Robert Zimmerframe says at 11:41 pm, September 15th, 2009

    Car Ramrod: *golf claps*

  39. EatFrankRich says at 11:54 pm, September 15th, 2009

    norbizness: No, I am still playing the low tech Sock and Awe game.

  40. EatFrankRich says at 11:55 pm, September 15th, 2009

    norbizness: no, i’ve been playing the lo-tech game: http://www.sockandawe.com/

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