• February 9, 2012

Now it is official, as Mike Huckabee — the famous ex-fat person whose chief economic proposal as a presidential candidate was to institute a sales tax of 25%, something he read in some book — hath decreed it. And this is a great example of it! The Politico, ostensibly a journalism outlet of the future, is just cold transcribin’ this random guy’s bitter rants about an industry that constantly makes fun of him for being stupid. [Politico]

{ 65 comments }

Suds McKenzie September 14, 2009 at 4:19 pm

I thought it died when he got his show.

V572625694 September 14, 2009 at 4:19 pm

“Former Arkansas GOP Gov. Mike Huckabee, currently a Fox News talk show host, ripped the media…”

Politico is maybe aware of the irony in this fragment, but even if they don’t, they WIN THE AFTERNOON!

Come here a minute September 14, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Van Jones “caught with bright red lips”? My ears cannot hear that dog whistle, but I think it must be blowing racisms.

shadowMark September 14, 2009 at 4:22 pm

So what if journalism is dead? Everything is dead now. Dead is the new black.

Neoyorquino September 14, 2009 at 4:23 pm

Journalism died when it was smothered by the over-sized sweaty buttocks of Fox News Corp.

SayItWithWookies September 14, 2009 at 4:24 pm

“Sadly, journalism is dead,” said Huckabee, as he looked under the pillow at the face of the newly departed.

bitchincamaro September 14, 2009 at 4:25 pm

Better dead than read?

McDuff September 14, 2009 at 4:26 pm

Journalism and now Pete Townsend just told me that rock is dead. Since they say the famous die in threes, what’s next, cinema?

PopeyesPipe September 14, 2009 at 4:26 pm

First it was Paul. Now it’s journalism. When will the killing end?

Godot September 14, 2009 at 4:27 pm

Finally. I was waiting for The Huck to weigh in. Now it’s official.

Come here a minute September 14, 2009 at 4:28 pm

[re=410707]McDuff[/re]: Poetry, last Friday.

dr.giraud September 14, 2009 at 4:30 pm

[re=410707]McDuff[/re]: “what’s next, cinema?”

Poetry. I hope.

ManchuCandidate September 14, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Of course Journalism is dead. Poor Huck needs to eat.

RoscoePColtraine September 14, 2009 at 4:31 pm

“…Bloggers and other supposedly professional journalists…”

See? Right here’s your problem. And Roscoe P Coltraine does not cotton to being blamed for the death of America’s Fourth Estate.

slappypaddy September 14, 2009 at 4:36 pm

so, um… who’s going to be covering this story?

queeraselvis v 2.0 September 14, 2009 at 4:36 pm

Apparently for Huck, irony is also dead.

Lascauxcaveman September 14, 2009 at 4:37 pm

[re=410702]shadowMark[/re]: Dead is the new black.

I thought it went more like this:

Sixty = the new forty.
Eighty = the new sixty.
Dead = the new eighty.

glamourdammerung September 14, 2009 at 4:39 pm

And using Huckafuck’s own standards, are we supposed to give a shit about what some asshole that went to a foreign country and badmouthed America thinks?

Vulpes82 September 14, 2009 at 4:39 pm

I thought he was a famous ex-EX-fat person, now? He ate journalism’s corpse.

Speed Ball September 14, 2009 at 4:39 pm

Huckabee is too stupid to realize that he is invoking Nietsche here, a man that did not even literally meant God is actually (physically dead), but dried up as a source of social wisdom.

Mike Huckabee ist dich.

Hooray For Anything September 14, 2009 at 4:40 pm

Jesus, Van Jones was some low level functionary in the Obama administration who if somebody were to actually pay attention, has done a lot of really good things. You’d think with all the attention thrown his way and with all the frothing at the mouth conservatives are doing over him that he’s the the second coming of Alger Hiss if Hiss were also a member of the Black Panthers.

SnarkNotFark September 14, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Politico is like the kid at school who thought he was part of the cool, popular crowd just because they paid a little attention to him for awhile. Then when the bullies came calling, he decided it would be safer to fall in with them.

ZOMG
Politico = Peter Pettigrew

Oldskool September 14, 2009 at 4:43 pm

The memorial service will be held at Fox HQ, natch, a calm, journalism-free environment.

gjdodger September 14, 2009 at 4:52 pm

[re=410709]Godot[/re]: I was waiting for The Huck to weigh in.

Got a truck scale?

Of course, journalism is dead. Huck has been digging its grave with a knife and fork.

madtowngooner September 14, 2009 at 4:52 pm

Today, we are all dead

AnnieGetYourFun September 14, 2009 at 4:52 pm

[re=410706]bitchincamaro[/re]: Nice.

Accordion-o-rama September 14, 2009 at 4:52 pm

Huckabee: Journalism is dead. That’s why I’m on Fox.

PlanetWingnuta September 14, 2009 at 5:12 pm

Skinny Mike Huckabee is dead…he was eaten by Fat Mike Huckabee with Chuck Norris.

Spam-N-Can September 14, 2009 at 5:21 pm

It’s just MOSTLY dead. Put it on life support and the Repugs will keep it alive forever.

user-of-owls September 14, 2009 at 5:23 pm

[re=410697]V572625694[/re]: You want afternoon-winning irony? Look at the headline, then look at the tags.

Better American Than You September 14, 2009 at 5:31 pm

“Journalism” is the name of the stray dog that David Huckabee lynched at Boy Scout camp. Bad dog!

Jukesgrrl September 14, 2009 at 5:46 pm

When may we begin calling him “famous soon-to-be-fat-again person”?

TGY September 14, 2009 at 5:50 pm

If journalism is dead, it’s because of the bad beating it gave itself between 2001-2008. Death by self-inflicted wound, obvs. It continues its undeath by taking teabaggers seriously.

LittlePig September 14, 2009 at 5:54 pm

Journalism has been dead ever since Bill Clinton got a BJ in the Oval Office. I knew Huck was slow, but jeez, that was two Presidents ago.

ShiningMathPath September 14, 2009 at 5:56 pm

[re=410781]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: you are invoking the Chuckabee!

shadowMark September 14, 2009 at 5:59 pm

Come on, Wonketeers, buck up! Journalism will not die until the post-apocalypse zombies pry the qwerty phone out of Meghan’s cold dead fingers.

V572625694 September 14, 2009 at 6:12 pm

[re=410805]user-of-owls[/re]: Ha ha! Obama dead, like Teddy! Very droll, Politico!

DangerousLiberal September 14, 2009 at 6:15 pm

Well, now that that’s settled, I can go back to playing WoW 24/7. Who’s got the Cheetos and furry porn?

dijetlo September 14, 2009 at 6:22 pm

[re=410700]Come here a minute[/re]: Sounds more like an inter-racial, gay fellatio dog whistle. Could Huck be trying to tell us something?

[re=410712]dr.giraud[/re]: Amen. Nothing has quite the cringe capacity as poorly written poetry, with the possible exception of Huckabees fellatio obsessed imagery.

GreatOldOnesParty September 14, 2009 at 6:26 pm

So does this mean we no longer have to watch FOX N00z to get our “Real Journalism”z?

GreatOldOnesParty September 14, 2009 at 6:33 pm

[re=410799]Spam-N-Can[/re]: it’s not dead! it’s pining for the fjords!

Katydid September 14, 2009 at 6:59 pm

“No memorial is planned as the practitioners of propaganda seem to be unaware that they have passed away and continue to publish anyway.”

It’s no “nattering nabobs of negativism,” that’s for sure.

At least Huckabee waited until Kennedy was dead to lie about him. The Huckster’s obv the original compassionate cuntservative.

The lying is expected, of course, but the real crime is his horrible writing. If you’re gonna excoriate the press, you’d better be clever about it. I give it a bitterz fat guy fail.

jasper f. krone September 14, 2009 at 7:22 pm

i’m not dead

what did it say?

oh, nothing.

i’m not dead

i think it says it’s not dead.

Well, it will be in a moment. It was coughing up blood last night.

AnnieGetYourFun September 14, 2009 at 7:29 pm

[gong] Bring out yer journalism! [gong]

TGY September 14, 2009 at 7:48 pm

Also, yes, yes, Hucks fried Journalism and ate it with buttah.

CthuNHu September 14, 2009 at 8:25 pm

[re=410883]dijetlo[/re]: Poorly written Huckabee fellatio poetry?

Whose lips these are I think I know;
His head’s beneath my belly though.
I would not have him cease his work
To satisfy my eyeballs’ quirk.
His lips feel lovely, red and deep;
Thanks, Arkansas, that let me keep
These pages on whom to fall asleep,
These pages on whom to fall asleep.

DustBowlBlues September 14, 2009 at 8:48 pm

[re=410707]McDuff[/re]: “what’s next, cinema?”

It’s a done deal. My grandson dragged me to Transformers II: Rise of the Dead Cinema.

Darkness September 14, 2009 at 8:52 pm

[re=410925]jasper f. krone[/re]: Well, it will be in a moment. It had ink oozing out of every orifice last night.

Fixed that for you.

Dolmance September 14, 2009 at 8:54 pm

That little cocksucker. I wish someone would bite one of his fingers off too.

Hunger Tallest Palin September 14, 2009 at 10:07 pm

Journalism is dead.

But if you send $10 to Pastor pHuckabee’s Church of the Sacred Bleeding Heart of Jesus, located somewhere in the hills of Arkansas, he’ll beseech the Lord to bring it back to life.

El Pinche September 14, 2009 at 10:20 pm

So is God , fatty.

jasper f. krone September 14, 2009 at 10:34 pm

[re=410977]Darkness[/re]: I stand by my analogy. But thanks.

idiot son of an asshole September 15, 2009 at 12:23 am

Journalism: Huckabee is dead.
Huckabee: see? liberal bias!
Journalism: wtf?
Death: trucknutz! also.

idiot son of an asshole September 15, 2009 at 12:24 am

[re=411045]idiot son of an asshole[/re]:
pats win!

S.Luggo September 15, 2009 at 12:29 am

— Huckabee drew criticism in August for suggesting that, after being diagnosed with a brain tumor, Kennedy would have been told to “go home to take pain pills and die” if he had been covered by President Barack Obama’s proposed health care overhaul. —

So cruel, so false. What Huckabee said was, “Death to Teddy, the Anti-Christ, Satan’s minion of universal health care.”

Quite evident, if you can decipher the Arkansas trailer park lingua franca of monosyllables.

Potater September 15, 2009 at 1:19 am

Mike Huckabee hasn’t been ex-fat since he joined the Lannity/Himbaugh network. He’s re-en-fattened.

villageatrois September 15, 2009 at 1:56 am

[re=411048]S.Luggo[/re]: “Huckabee drew criticism in August for suggesting that, after being diagnosed with a brain tumor” < < right there. That’s where you need a period.

— 30 –

Smoke Filled Roommate September 15, 2009 at 2:20 am

[re=410722]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I thought the GOP the new dead..

desertwind September 15, 2009 at 3:25 am

Huckabee stuck a fork in it.

gurukalehuru September 15, 2009 at 4:45 am

If journalism’s dead, I will not mourn
As long as we have anime and porn

widget09 September 15, 2009 at 7:59 am

Huck really does favor the late great Richard Milhous Nixon, maybe he should get fat (again) so I am not so confused. When is he going to make the Checkerz speech?

Min September 15, 2009 at 9:42 am

Journalism: Mike Huckabee is dead.

(We’ll print the retraction tomorrow.)

Deacon Frank Orris September 15, 2009 at 10:10 am

[re=410707]McDuff[/re]: Jazz, thanks to those no-good be-boppers killing our music.

One Yield Regular September 15, 2009 at 10:11 am

Simple typo. That was supposed to be an equal sign, not a colon.

thefrontpage September 15, 2009 at 11:04 am

Mike Huckabee = Intelligent politics is dead.

Journalism is alive and well, thank you very much.

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