Wonkette
Awhile ago, a few months ago, at least, some boring consulting group, “CLSA,” invited Sarah Palin to come and speak at some annual consulting conference, in Hong Kong. This was only interesting in so much as Sarah Palin was inevitability going to cancel. So naturally everyone forgot about the fact that this was even happening, because what even is Sarah Palin, at this point? Well guess what, it is time to UNFORGET about it, because CLSA would now like the MSM to know that this will be a secret speech about secret things that will not be leaked on the Internet, at all, so everyone should just go ahead and reforget about even trying to report on it. “We are not disclosing the topic of Sarah Palin’s presentation at this point,” said Simone Wheeler, CLSA spokesperson and future plaintiff in what is sure to be a comical breach of contract suit against Palin. [CNN]
Sarah Palin is an ancient Chinese Secret?
So the chances are good she’ll cancel, the group of Asian Businessmen will instead spend the time eating sushi off the naked bodies of Australian hookers, and we will all be none the wiser?
Who said there is no God?
“Thank you all for coming. Ahem. Me Chinese, Me Play Joke, Me Put Pee Pee in Your Coke!”
I hear she’s telling investors to put their money in truck nutz
ManchuCandidate: Calgon, take her away!
Will she, clad in a plain gray business suit, jump into a filing cabinet and emerge wearing a stars n’ stripes bikini and toting a submachine gun (after the malfunctioning cabinet is pounded by an anthropomorphic cat)?
Wait, that’s Hong Kong Phooey.
How much could anyone trust an investment firm that thought Sarah Palin would have something useful to say about investing?
I feel obliged to repeat my previous post on this topic: Wouldn’t it be great if the
suckers investorsof CSLA Pacific Markets interrupt Sarah by repeatedly chanting, “Show us your tits!”you betcha even babble spass doesn’t know what she’ll be babbling about, and even after she finishes — if she even does it — she still won’t know. nobody else will be able to figure it out, either. even. also.
This was Sarah’s decision. So Sarah is afraid of how much we will marvel at her financial prowess and savvy?
I don’t really care what’s in her speech anyway — the primary reason I want it on film is so I can enjoy the translator(s) going apeshit trying to turn her words into some sort of coherent series of ideas.
V572625694: I would so download that torrent, just to see what they look like after 13 kids and a botched lift or two.
And although she is fluent in Mandarin, her heavy Alaskan accent will it all but untranslatable for the poor MSM anyway. Also.
I just got back here after reading the bit about how the wingtards hate the Darwin movie and just had an epiphany (revelation?) of galactic (biblical?) proportions. The wingtards love Sarah Palin because she convincingly disproves Darwin’s natural selection nonsense once and for ever and ever amen.
dijetlo: the group of Asian Businessmen will instead spend the time eating sushi off the naked body of Levi Johnston…
*fixed
SayItWithWookies: I’m afraid we may be disappointed on that score. Unfortunately English pretty much reigns supreme as the lingua franca of the business world. I hope I’m wrong, though. Also.
“I’m quite honored to be here in Japan, also.”
We are not disclosing the topic of Sarah Palin’s presentation at this point.”
Can’t disclose what you don’t know. Why should she
writepay someone to write a speech she’s not gonna give?Dear sweet levitating Jeebus, I hope she does go and decides to improvise once she mounts the dais.
She’s pretending to be inscrutable.
I’m guessing this little talk will be virtually live cast via the internets and etc.
According to a reliable source (Wikipedia), CLSA is known for:
“Introduction of research reports that go beyond the numbers to ‘tell the story’, and the use of colourful and sometimes irreverent “cartoon” covers.”
So, my guess is they want to get a few good doodles out of her.
I can see Hong Kong from my house
TORT REFORM1!!
hobospacejunkie: Well, when Sarah Palin starts speaking in English, she can give speeches to the business world. Golly, you betcha. Also.
I note from their web site that: “CLSA has signed a MOU with Shanghai Guosheng Co. to launch a domestic RMB investment fund in the Shanghai Pudong International Financial Centre Region.”
Maybe Sarah Palins wants someone besides Levi Guousheng in her Pudong.
Maybe they thought they were getting Tina Fey.
The women barely makes sense in English, I can’t wait to see what the Chinese symbols for, death panel, Truck nutz and David Letterman are.
It’s gonna be on guttin’ salmon, donchaknow.
A little internet research uncovered the title of her speech:
Visual Sighting of Foreigners is the Key to Good Foreign Policy, You Betcha.
norbizness: hong kong fooey was a dog…sheesh
It’ll involve a large, shaggy dog and ping pong balls.
I will help bring her up to what, three countries she’s visited?
Speech topic: The Danger of Unchecked Chinese Immigration to the United States.
“You mean this isn’t the Conservative League of Southern Alabama convention?”
I am worried all this ferrign experience will make Sarah less Merikun.
If the topic of the speech is secret, how do we know she’s speaking at all?
Also out of Hong Kong, fresh off today’s keyboard: http://www.sourcing-from-china.com/will-sarah-palin-be-indicted-for-criminal-embezzlement-involving-a-building-company/
V572625694: Big win.
I’m thinking she’s getting like a million or so bucks, but I hope those suckers didn’t pay her ahead of time nor even give her a significant deposit.
If Bible Spice is scheduled to make her “speech” after cocktail hour, V5 etc. definitely has this one figured out.
You guys keep confusing the events she cancels with the ones at which she actually appears. If they pay her $50k+ she shows up. The freebies, meh, only if she feels like it and even then she has to get free tampons or something.
V572625694: “You lie!”
the problem child: Excellent investigative journalism. Why can’t the MSM do such fine work?
nobody else will be able to figure it out, either. even. also.
If nothing else, it will be payback for having those of us who have suffered through the exasperation of trying to understand the unintelligible Chinese to English translations of user manuals.
She can see China from there.
Guppy06: ““You lie!””
Am I the only one who thinks of Lucy Liu in Kill Bill II every time they hear this?
We are not disclosing the topic of Sarah Palin’s presentation at this point
It’s not difficult to guess. Either she’ll be herself and talk about snowmobiles and lucrative endorsement contracts or she’ll try to be serious and end up on a lengthy digression about how easily it is to confuse total energy production, total energy consumption, total liquids production, gas equivalents, and crude oil, even for the “world’s foremost expert” in these things, dontchaknow?
She’s helping to build a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude. Just give her the country!
The secret title of her presentation:
“How to Fake a Pregnancy and Get Away With It Because MSM Is Afraid to Ask Questions”
DustBowlBlues: Actually, I don’t think there is a single investigative journalist at that website. It appears to be largely business related. However, to their credit, they have mastered da google, which apparently the MSM has not, yet.
Sarah, Hong Kong is great for shopping. And you can buy lots of fake handbags and watches.
(someone please alert customs, I am sure she does not know her duty-free allowances. Even better, maybe she’ll bring back some rotting whale meat they can arrest her for)
she’ll answer a question or two about U.S.-americans and do some fancy pageant walking
Will Sarah tell a funny anecdote about her Mongolian baby?
SayItWithWookies: She’ll be translating it herself as “ching chong bing wong”.
TGY: They no doubt are curious to see if we are as totally out of our minds politically as they have seen in media reports. No doubt they will get the direct report from the horses’ (pick your orifice here_____) and shortly China and the rest of the civilized world (or should that be just “the civilized world” will drop T-Bills like hookers drop lepers newly detached private parts.
URGENT: ADVANCE TRANSCRIPT
“Am happied to be in this Hong Kong place and have fortune cooky at meal, Grasshopper. Honk Kong is wonderful little British island where foreign people speak American and it is a strategic importantly against Communist China. We all know Red Pekineses hate democracy and run over children like my little boy Tribble and third-graders with big tanks. Chinese must be stopped in Korea before spread commies to all of Asia and Alaska and we support our troops. I did not know 50,000 Hongy dollars was not the same as 50,000 real dollars so ha-ha-ha you screwed me…you wish. I go next to the real China, Taiwain, and shop there, you ‘betcha.”
thehelveticascenario: you speak naughty monkey too?
I can see those poor guys leaning forward in their chairs to hear her whispering because she thinks the whole thing’s a secret.
Oldskool: I hope if the media isn’t there, she’ll let her true seld hang out.
Can someone secretely tap her sayin’ “whitey”
An embarrassment of riches (think Joe Wilson, Michelle Bachman, Glen Beck) means that I can barely stifle a yawn when Sarah crosses my mind these days. My entertainment threshold is just so much higher than it was during the halcyon days of French fruit flies and Putin “rearing his head”. Wow. Tina Fey. It all seems so long ago…
The first line of Palin’s speech has been leaked:
“Hello Big Boys! Me now bore you long time!”
Decker: She’s going to go to the podium and speak in tongues.
whichever set of lips she uses, pure gold.
Maybe she’ll tell them all about sex tourism possibilities in Alaska. There are lots of perverted Chinese businessmen who’d like to try out fat, pale, Americans. It’d be a change from the Asians, Russians, etc., in Wanchai.
Take her to Wanchai! Introduce her to some US servicemen on liberty and see what happens!
You know, at these kinds of banquets, Chinese people like to drink toasts. They also like to get the foreigner drunk. How do you think Sarah will behanve after 10 shots of 120 proof baijiu?
zhubajie: The Chinese also like to make you eat live eel, and if you finish they give you more. Much more
“I am here today to talk about death camps, no not yours, ours.”
Bruno: Oh, Sarah has eaten plenty of eel in her day, gulps down a couple of nice big “congers” now and then. But never, ever try to pry her electric eel out of her, uh, hands.
Recently(ish), somebody on a financial blog somewhere wrote that CLSA has a tradition -in a sort of dadaist streak vein- of hiring pranksters for their big conventions. Or, conversely, to prank their speakers. Also.
Their very well paid speakers.
Could be interesting. Or not. Unfortunately, CLSA just may want to avoid the headache and play it straight.
I think link to story was on HuffPost. Sara fans went ballistic all over his comments. The guy kept responding “I’m just a financial writer. I live in Shaghai. I KNOW CLSA. I’m not bashing Sara Palin” etc. But, the know nothings didn’t wanna know nothing.
Palin’s Hong Kong Speech Has Been Leaked In Advance (warning Comedy Ahead) : )
http://nailinpalinnow.blogspot.com
That’s okay.
I was only going to listen to William Shatner’s beat performance of Sarah’s speech, anyway.