OPEN-AIR BOURGEOISIE  11:33 am September 11, 2009

The White House Has Finally Opened Its Inevitable Farmers Market

by Juli Weiner

The vegetable people have won the right to sell their vegetables over by the White House, near the Executive Mansion. A side of locally sourced context with this lede? So back in August Obama made some off-hand comment somewhere once about how much he wanted a farmers market. “A farmers market like a hot second away from where I live? Obviously I would not hate this,” he probably said. People who take these sorts of things quite seriously took this thing quite seriously, and have been stoked to set something up ever since. Sam Kass, Obama’s White House Assistant Chef Czar, attended some town hall about farm fresh eggs in order to argue that another farmers marker would be a fine addition to D.C.s farmers market scene. There was no known opposition to the idea. [The Caucus]

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Scrodd September 11, 2009 at 11:37 am

So when will a senile octogenarian plow his Buick Regal into this farmer’s market?

ManchuCandidate September 11, 2009 at 11:39 am

Wait till Big Agra hears about this. They’ll shit a brick (assuming they don’t eat what they sell) and “hire” Teabagging Teabaggers armed with Fake constitutions, bibles, Left Behind books, old copies of Reader Digest, M-4s and M-16s and kicking down the place as some commie nazi Acorn Muslin plot against the REAL US America who wants US Americanians to be as fat as possible.

Vegetables should be salted, sugared and frozen, NOT FRESH!


Speed Ball September 11, 2009 at 11:39 am

A farmers market, run by the government, to compete with the Super Market. I’m not trying to put Super Markets out of business; I’m simply trying to hold them accountable.

freakishlystrong September 11, 2009 at 11:40 am

Ah fuck, now he’s going to need a “taster czar”….

Speed Ball September 11, 2009 at 11:40 am

“This is the first step in a government takeover of arugula.”

SayItWithWookies September 11, 2009 at 11:40 am

Oh, look who dares to eat a peach.
And how long must our once-free nation put up with the president’s peasant-populist pandering?

ragepotato September 11, 2009 at 11:41 am

Will this be located near where Satan’s forces are gathering?

Speed Ball September 11, 2009 at 11:41 am

[re=408814]freakishlystrong[/re]: hemlock czar

finallyhappy September 11, 2009 at 11:42 am

[re=408805]Scrodd[/re]: The coolest farmer at the Silver Spring Farmers market is an octogenarian- Charlie Koiner. His farm(tiny but awesome) is in downtown Silver Spring next to his house. I’ll return to snark now.

thefrontpage September 11, 2009 at 11:42 am

The Obama administration is also hoping to open farmer’s markets on the roofs of all of the federal government buildings in the D.C. area, and in the parking lots of all of the intelligence agencies in the region, as well as a special marine farmer’s market on the Potomac River, operated by the U.S. Coast Guard, in addition to opening several farmer’s markets at local airports, operated by the TSA, and, finally, there will be special farmer’s markets at all of the Smithsonian’s musuems, as well as the National Zoo.

RobPetrified September 11, 2009 at 11:44 am

I wonder how the usual screamers will manage to vilify this?
Rest assured, they will.
Das Kollektive farmers serve der fuherer?
Illegal Messicans sell friut in the shadow of the commie White House?
Terrorists rumored to me hiding in boxes of figs from sandniggera?

ragepotato September 11, 2009 at 11:47 am

John Mackey is trembling with rage, naked from the waist down, and posting vicious messages under a fake name on Whole Foods discussion boards.

TGY September 11, 2009 at 11:51 am

Farmers on the dole.

Anonymous Office Zombie September 11, 2009 at 11:52 am

This is why I completely don’t get the right wing, racist freak out. Nobama is whiter than I am.

MARCdMan September 11, 2009 at 11:53 am

How long before a turkey-slaughterhouse opens up next door and Obama accidentally gives a press conference in front of it?

OzoneTom September 11, 2009 at 11:54 am

[re=408830]ragepotato[/re]: So messy!

Katydid September 11, 2009 at 11:55 am

[re=408805]Scrodd[/re]: in a hurry to get to his Death Panel appointment.

Katydid September 11, 2009 at 11:58 am

A side of locally sourced context with this lede?


WadISay September 11, 2009 at 12:08 pm

By “hot second”, I think he means, it’s a two-cigarette walk.

randomsausage September 11, 2009 at 12:08 pm

This really came to pass because Heidi DeDong Barsuglia, Shaudi Fulp and Charissa Lott represent Big Organic Farming.

Scruffy_The_Janitor September 11, 2009 at 12:08 pm

A lot of peaches died to take that picture.
Never forget.

the problem child September 11, 2009 at 12:09 pm

[re=408844]MARCdMan[/re]: Don’t forget, those turkeys were “organic”!

doxastic September 11, 2009 at 12:15 pm

This news will make the Swiss chard and Arctic char Czar very excited.

widget09 September 11, 2009 at 12:16 pm

Commrads, what’s in the 5 year plan?

Red Zeppelin September 11, 2009 at 12:17 pm

[re=408842]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Good call! Yeah, I think this is like number 12 on “Stuff White People Like,” right after Starbucks.

WhatTheHeck September 11, 2009 at 12:18 pm

On the other side of the White House lawn a Whole Foods is opening up.
Then Obama can forget about needing health care reform, or any health care as a matter of fact.

Sharkey September 11, 2009 at 12:20 pm

What do the watermelons think of this?

isadelia September 11, 2009 at 12:28 pm

One question; will the White House farmer’s market be selling Chocolate Covered Bacon, just like my town’s local farmer’s market does?

samsuncle September 11, 2009 at 12:33 pm

What’s next free range chickens on the White House lawn?

Jim89048 September 11, 2009 at 12:38 pm

I hope Juli and Wags get the freeze-dried lightly salted poison rat dicks concession!

Mr Blifil September 11, 2009 at 1:04 pm

Who would turn down the chance to suck Obama root?

Jim89048 September 11, 2009 at 1:17 pm

[re=408927]samsuncle[/re]: For ritualistic sacrifice, not human consumption.

AxmxZ September 11, 2009 at 1:40 pm

[re=408927]samsuncle[/re]: Careful with that snark lest it turn into prophecy.

AxmxZ September 11, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Can this administration possibly be any yuppier?

Bruno September 13, 2009 at 6:11 am

Queue Redstate organic watermellon jokes in 3, 2, 1…

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