open-air bourgeoisie

The White House Has Finally Opened Its Inevitable Farmers Market

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The vegetable people have won the right to sell their vegetables over by the White House, near the Executive Mansion. A side of locally sourced context with this lede? So back in August Obama made some off-hand comment somewhere once about how much he wanted a farmers market. “A farmers market like a hot second away from where I live? Obviously I would not hate this,” he probably said. People who take these sorts of things quite seriously took this thing quite seriously, and have been stoked to set something up ever since. Sam Kass, Obama’s White House Assistant Chef Czar, attended some town hall about farm fresh eggs in order to argue that another farmers marker would be a fine addition to D.C.s farmers market scene. There was no known opposition to the idea. [The Caucus]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Scrodd

    So when will a senile octogenarian plow his Buick Regal into this farmer’s market?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Wait till Big Agra hears about this. They’ll shit a brick (assuming they don’t eat what they sell) and “hire” Teabagging Teabaggers armed with Fake constitutions, bibles, Left Behind books, old copies of Reader Digest, M-4s and M-16s and kicking down the place as some commie nazi Acorn Muslin plot against the REAL US America who wants US Americanians to be as fat as possible.

    Vegetables should be salted, sugared and frozen, NOT FRESH!


  • Speed Ball

    A farmers market, run by the government, to compete with the Super Market. I’m not trying to put Super Markets out of business; I’m simply trying to hold them accountable.

  • freakishlystrong

    Ah fuck, now he’s going to need a “taster czar”….

  • Speed Ball

    “This is the first step in a government takeover of arugula.”

  • SayItWithWookies

    Oh, look who dares to eat a peach.
    And how long must our once-free nation put up with the president’s peasant-populist pandering?

  • ragepotato

    Will this be located near where Satan’s forces are gathering?

  • Speed Ball

    [re=408814]freakishlystrong[/re]: hemlock czar

  • finallyhappy

    [re=408805]Scrodd[/re]: The coolest farmer at the Silver Spring Farmers market is an octogenarian- Charlie Koiner. His farm(tiny but awesome) is in downtown Silver Spring next to his house. I’ll return to snark now.

  • thefrontpage

    The Obama administration is also hoping to open farmer’s markets on the roofs of all of the federal government buildings in the D.C. area, and in the parking lots of all of the intelligence agencies in the region, as well as a special marine farmer’s market on the Potomac River, operated by the U.S. Coast Guard, in addition to opening several farmer’s markets at local airports, operated by the TSA, and, finally, there will be special farmer’s markets at all of the Smithsonian’s musuems, as well as the National Zoo.

  • RobPetrified

    I wonder how the usual screamers will manage to vilify this?
    Rest assured, they will.
    Das Kollektive farmers serve der fuherer?
    Illegal Messicans sell friut in the shadow of the commie White House?
    Terrorists rumored to me hiding in boxes of figs from sandniggera?

  • ragepotato

    John Mackey is trembling with rage, naked from the waist down, and posting vicious messages under a fake name on Whole Foods discussion boards.

  • TGY

    Farmers on the dole.

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    This is why I completely don’t get the right wing, racist freak out. Nobama is whiter than I am.

  • MARCdMan

    How long before a turkey-slaughterhouse opens up next door and Obama accidentally gives a press conference in front of it?

  • OzoneTom

    [re=408830]ragepotato[/re]: So messy!

  • Katydid

    [re=408805]Scrodd[/re]: in a hurry to get to his Death Panel appointment.

  • Katydid

    A side of locally sourced context with this lede?


  • WadISay

    By “hot second”, I think he means, it’s a two-cigarette walk.

  • randomsausage

    This really came to pass because Heidi DeDong Barsuglia, Shaudi Fulp and Charissa Lott represent Big Organic Farming.

  • Scruffy_The_Janitor

    A lot of peaches died to take that picture.
    Never forget.

  • the problem child

    [re=408844]MARCdMan[/re]: Don’t forget, those turkeys were “organic”!

  • doxastic

    This news will make the Swiss chard and Arctic char Czar very excited.

  • widget09

    Commrads, what’s in the 5 year plan?

  • Red Zeppelin

    [re=408842]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Good call! Yeah, I think this is like number 12 on “Stuff White People Like,” right after Starbucks.

  • WhatTheHeck

    On the other side of the White House lawn a Whole Foods is opening up.
    Then Obama can forget about needing health care reform, or any health care as a matter of fact.

  • Sharkey

    What do the watermelons think of this?

  • isadelia

    One question; will the White House farmer’s market be selling Chocolate Covered Bacon, just like my town’s local farmer’s market does?

  • samsuncle

    What’s next free range chickens on the White House lawn?

  • Jim89048

    I hope Juli and Wags get the freeze-dried lightly salted poison rat dicks concession!

  • Mr Blifil

    Who would turn down the chance to suck Obama root?

  • Jim89048

    [re=408927]samsuncle[/re]: For ritualistic sacrifice, not human consumption.

  • AxmxZ

    [re=408927]samsuncle[/re]: Careful with that snark lest it turn into prophecy.

  • AxmxZ

    Can this administration possibly be any yuppier?

  • Bruno

    Queue Redstate organic watermellon jokes in 3, 2, 1…