Wonkette
By the Comics Curmudgeon
The September 11 attacks were terrible for any number of reasons, with the exploding and the wars and the death, and so it’s obviously petty to bitch about the many terrible cartoons they spawned, with the Statue of Liberty, crying, but when it’s your JOB to think about cartoons, as it has, somewhat improbably, become mine, then this is the sort of thing you think about, sometimes, when you think about 9/11. And there were no 9/11 weeping Statue of Liberty cartoons this year, so, VICTORY, in that extremely limited sense! But there was still a bunch of other crap.
Americans today are all too aware of Barack Obama’s sinister socialist plot turn our apple-cheeked capitalist youth into dead-eyed hordes of socialist zombies, unable to take entrepreneurial initiative and instead waiting for their orders to come down from the Politburo. However, did you know that George W. Bush also had an evil plan for our nation’s young people? The first phase was just being put into place the morning of September 11, as the president read to a group of schoolchildren out of the Necronomicon about his “pet” Shub-Niggurath, the Black Goat with a Thousand Young. Sadly, before he could capture their souls for the Old Ones, some planes flew into some buildings and he had to go fight a bunch of wars instead.
Did we mention the absence of terrible cartoons featuring weeping patriot-statues? Well, surely the sad day couldn’t pass without somebody’s grossly distended eyeballs reflecting the World Trade Center in flames. In this case, it’s the eyes of the sinister Osama Bin Laden, which, if I’m reading this metaphor correctly, are actually “tunnels” deep into the cave-like recesses of his skull, where war-representing buildings burn, Iraq and Afghanistan, WTC 1 and, well, WTC 1, perfect mirror images of each other in an impossibly closed space, like some kind of awful nightmarish stereoscope. The lesson: mescaline is serious shit, kids.
Thing that was also abused, in many, many 9/11-themed cartoon: the American flag! It is not so ill-treated here, but, consider its placement! This flag appears to be, what, about 80 percent up the flagpole in this cartoon? What can this mean? Is this sort of at half mast, because we sort of won some wars and moved on, but not quite at full mast, because we haven’t totally ended all terrorism everywhere and maybe shouldn’t have moved on? Is this a carefully calibrated balancing act between pride and mourning, shame and fear? Is it being raised in an act of hope? Lowered in an act of remembrance? THIS IS WHY ALL MODERN CARTOONS SHOULD BE ANIMATED GIFS, WITH BLINGEES.
Then after 9/11 we fought a war in Afghanistan or whatever. Hey, remember when Hamid Karzai was this awesome peaceful democrat who was going to save his country from the evil Taliban, and not yet another third-world election-stealing fraud-lord? Remember when his colorful clothes were a symbol his dedication to national unity, and not a sinister contrast to his electoral opponent’s western-style suit? Remember when his hat was kind of cool, and not something resembling the top of the Tin Man’s head? Anyway, these sorts of contrasts are good to keep in mind for the future. For instance, sometime in 2013, we’ll be saying “Remember when Abdullah Abdullah was a wronged candidate and ‘Afghanistan’s Mandela,’ before we found out that he was war criminal, like everyone else who’s held any political power in Afghanistan since 1949?”
But what, in the end, is the most important lesson of 9/11/09? I think it’s this: that it’s now once again totally socially acceptable to use as metaphors depictions of planes flying into major government buildings, because now those buildings are occupied by Democrats.
Ia! Ia! Shub-Niggurath!
Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!
C’mon, someone had to say it.
Let’s see. Van Jones calling Republicans “assholes” = terrorists flying a plane into the White House. Analogy FAIL. Oh, and what? No cross-dressing nancyboy pilots in the cockpit? You’re slipping, Ramirez.
That last one makes me want to fly a pencil with a rusty eraser clamp into the eyeball of the cartoonist.
Wait, this is your job?
Mmm, yes, Van Jones. So much more horrible and powerful than Cheney, Rove, Rumsfeld, Yoo…
Van Jones is another 911.
Jesus. That last one. Eat a bag of Ramirez’s, dick.
Oh and Josh, tiny typo; it’s Nevar Forget. You’re welcome.
Ramirez gives anal cysts a bad name.
I thought the bug-eyed bin Laden was going to be the most painfully inept shoehorning of 9/11 images into a hash of an analogy. Thank you, Mike Ramirez, for slinging the poo of snivelingly righteous overblown metaphors onto the ice cream sundae of that premature assumption.
Don’t you sort of feel sorry for the writer of the children’s book “My Pet Goat”? It’s probably a perfectly sweet kids story and due to Dubya’s assiness and incompetence, it’s forever associated with freezing on the job.
Eight wasted years of cartoon airplanes not hitting cartoon buildings. Ah well. At least it’s still fun to be a kid crashing a plane. http://tinyurl.com/l2pw7w
Is Glenn Beck flying the plane?
Allow me to speak for 90% of ‘Merkns and say: “Who the fuck is Van Jones, and why is he 9/11ing Our Black Perz’nit?”
Ramirez is one of the biggest fucktards in the Universe. I remember his depiction of the Dixie Chicks, all fat and warty and bloated, after they said that *TURRIBLE TURRIBLE TURRIBLE* thing, vaguely, about Fearless Leader, Clearly Appointed By God!
I’m still just dumbfounded every time I try to contrast the way dissenters against the Prez were treated in 2003 versus how they’re treated *now* (e.g. Knighthood from their Party Faithful, lionized by RW talk show hosts, etc.)
I remember every fatass Republican I knew back then, including family members, gravely assuring me that God Hisself had put George Bush in this place of Supreme Authority, quoting Scriptures about how “All authority is given by God.” But now, they all seem to think that God has really fucked up, what with putting ACORN in charge of the White House.
Their memories are faulty, and their “principles” change with every slight shift of the wind, depending on who’s in power.
A memory that goes back more than 1 year, that remembers stuff other than Drunk Celebutante News or the latest Jon & Kate kerfluffle, is a terrible curse in this society.
iolanthe: It’s hairpullingly frustrating. I think on every blog I post to, every post, every time, I’m going to point out as of this day, Obama has kept us safer than that criminal cabal that destroyed this country as sure as any god damned terrist’s could.
Sorry folks but this batch of cartoons is seriously LAME!
@dum librul: That’s how I read it.
@freakishlystrong: Yep, that was my plan, too.
freakishlystrong: Good idea. Just challenge the lies every time you hear them. That’s what *I* try to do. By speaking out last fall, I eventually managed to get many of my friends — some of them even weakly liberal — to understand that Obama was *not* a Muslim, and that stuff they’d heard on Fox News in the gym and at the dry cleaners was … um … lies.
I’m still pissed at the number of MSM articles, including the one in this morning’s LA Times, that carefully explain why Wilson was screaming “Liar!”, but don’t point out that *he* was lying.
Ra-FUCKING-mirez?!
Show me your damn matricula consular.
Dear Ramirez,
Thanks for the angry! I knew when I woke up this morning that something would really push my buttons today. I knew some wingnut somewhere was going to do or say something so blatantly offensive about the events of 9/11 that I would be in danger of spontaneously combusting. Your “comic” (ha ha ha! So not funny!) flipped the switch. Fuck you very much.
Sincerely,
BadKitty
queeraselvis v 2.0: yes yes, Jones’s actions = flying a plan into the white house. Meanwhile, standing up and yelling “you lie!” in the middle of a televised speech = sorta, maybe half-assed apology, of the “I’m sorry I got caught but not sorry I did it” variety.
But, then, you must remember that straight, adult, consenting affairs from politicians who espouse safe sex, etc, are much much more evil than underage, gay, out of the country, cum-dripping, stall-tapping, diaper-wearing affairs from politicians who claim the gheyz are the devil and sex education will turn our children into hookers.
I honestly have no words. Ramirez is famous for creating cartoons that are in incredibly poor taste, but this one might be the poorest yet.
edgydrifter:
Hey! What year did you graduate from Miskatonic? Class of ‘79!
dum librul: That’s brilliant. So obviously, Ramirez never intended it.
I definitely see some phallic imagery in that last one.
Yeah, Ramirez is a world class douchebag, apparently. Also, kind of ironic he’s cast his idealogical lot with a bunch of people who, given his ancestry, would just as soon have him mowing his lawn for %5.00 an hour.
the problem child: how’s this? (fast forward to 1:59) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGE6GYiNENA
edgydrifter: ROFLMAO!
AnnieGetYourFun: even moreso than this?
http://img.ffffound.com/static-data/assets/6/0c5fde12ccb49e7c4a9fd732fa007d4e1b954db2_m.gif
Where are the eyepatch underwear cartoons? Where are the Levi-Johston-posing-nude cartoons? Where are the Joe Wilson cartoons? After this week, it’s clear our nations political cartoonists are slipping badly. I wish Oliphant was still young enough to do five a week.
SayItWithWookies: I liked the bug eyed Bin Laden. It reminded me of those posters of kittens with ocular gigantism that were all the rage in the 70s. Hang In There, Baby!
There’s really only one thing to say after seeing the Ramirez cartoon: goddamnmotherfuckershitpisscocksuckmutherfuckerandtits for brains
That cartoonist doesn’t know how to draw a plane. Or an analogy.
that it’s now once again totally socially acceptable to use as metaphors depictions of planes flying into major government buildings, because now those buildings are occupied by
Too f-ing true.
If that was Bushies White House you would need an AirBus 380 to get all the names scrawled on it. BTW, wasn’t that Dick Cheney piloting that Cessna that hit the White House in 94?
http://tech.mit.edu/V114/N40/crash.40w.html
Ooh, that last one is very, er, INTERESTING … as in “retarded, poorly-done & pathetic.”
I’d just like to remind everyone of what happened the day before 9/11: Rummy called a press-conference to announce that the Pentagon had somehow lost between $1.5-2.5 TRILLION simoleons & didn’t even know where to begin searching for all the MIA loot … on any other week of the 21st Century that story would’ve outshone Enron & the 2008-9 bank bailouts put together.
*September 10, 2001 - UHHH, I FORGOT*
“Go back to bed, America - your government is in control again. Here - here is “American Gladiators” - watch this, shut up. Go back to bed, America - here is “American Gladiators.” Here is 56 channels of it. Watch these pituary retards bang their fuckin’ skulls together, & congratulate YOU on living in the land of freedom. Here you go, America. You are free to do as we tell you! You are free to do as we tell you!”
- Bill Hicks
I thought the “Betty Davis Bin Laden’s Eyes” was about as non-sensical as you can get until I got to the last one. Seriously, if that just a shadow on the plan because it’s facing away from the sun, or is it meant to be a black plane? It doesn’t even make any sense. I guess in Ramirez’s crazy-assed playhouse of a mind, an alternative energy advisor is about equal to be, say, the Vice President of the United States.
If he’d have drawn this during the Bush administration, the White House would have been a smoldering, nuclear crater, with Rumsfeld, Cheney, Miers, Gonzalez, Ashcroft, etc…and all, no?
Does anyone else get some kind of cartoon version of a Rick Roll when they click on #3?
Is it me, or is Osama sporting an afro? I didn’t know terrorism was so funky.