Wonkette
For about five weeks after 9/11, media people who had spent the previous decade jabbering about Monica Lewinsky and “Hillary Care” and O.J. Simpson and Pets.com and the Macarena and Krispy Kreme suddenly decided “everything changed” when some lousy terrorists did what they did and killed some 3,000 people who just happened to be flying on passenger planes or working in office buildings on that day. Well, no.
Other than giving the worst administration in American History the chance to bankrupt the country by launching a couple of gazillion-dollar imperial wars with matching camouflage tax cuts, America went on being America — meaning, most people got dumber and fatter and deeper in debt, while a few smart people invented some cool shit, to sell to Google for $1.65 billion.
We are talking about YouTube! Can you imagine life without the YouTube?! Well, there was no YouTube on September 11, 2001. So, in a way, everything did change after 9/11, in terms of Web Video. Alas, Americans continued to be responsible for much of the actual video content, and some of that was about, ahem, 9/11.
It’s hard to remember now, especially when you consider that kids eligible for U.S. Military Service today were 10 years old when the terra-motherfuckers crashed into the WTC towers, but a lot of people felt like they had to do something, about 9/11. As few people have any real talent, most efforts were maudlin and embarrassing and jingoistic and just plain stupid, but many of them were, at least, sincere.
Sincerely dumb, anyway. A country-pop singer of the time recorded a song that sort of sheepishly admitted a complete ignorance of the difference between the huge Arab nation Iraq, which we’d invaded just 10 years before the 9/11 attacks, and the huge Persian nation of Iran, which we failed to invade in 1980 after the U.S. puppet and dictator had been overthrown by furious students, who infamously imprisoned Americans at our embassy in Tehran for more than a year. Meanwhile, the actual country where the 9/11 hijackers were apparently trained and funded was neither Iraq nor Iran, but Afghanistan. Whatever, right?
And here’s a super-stupid piece of crap, to start us off:
Wow, really?
This one’s just plain bad. Sorry, folky-sounding person who means well!
Uhh ….
If you’re a REAL American, you’ve surely wondered, while sitting on the toilet, “Is there a YouTube video made of maybe like a video game that looks like Second Life or something, with some really awful cover of a really awful Bryan Adams song that doesn’t have anything to do with 9/11, but is actually about fuckin’?”
Here, America, is your answer. “Adopt a Puffle,” indeed! Wonderful comments with this one, too. A sample:
MsFumble (1 day ago)
Dear, People who died from this, News reporter: We just found a plane crashing into the twin towers! Millons of people have died, lots of family’s mothers and fathers and even children. we are all giveful to them and hope they have a still wonderful time in heaven (waves) Please be thankful that all of you have survived but sorry for the people who didnt, And that crash just didnt amaze me didnt shock me but it just made me feel all bad but you shouldnt Holly God Makes everyone feel better.
karaisrereCP (8 hours ago)
One of my best friends brother was born on 9/11, as soon as the second tower crumbled, he was born at that exact time. Amazing video, so sad.opal034 (2 days ago)
i miss my bunny she died like 3 weeks ago Im crying right now i gotta stop watching this video.. Atleast i have my puppy thats a month old*Sniffles*
But there were some great 9/11 songs — like this one, written and recorded in Chicago, in the months before there was such a thing as 9/11, in America:
OK - I saw Michael Jackson perform with Britney Spears, NSYNC, and Usher at Madison Square Garden Tribute Concert on Saturday September 8th 2001.
I am certain that this was the straw that broke the camels back (HENNNGHH? GET IT?)
And you want to talk to ME about tragedies?
I’m pretty sure that the comic cleaned up the reality of Cheney jerking off to the 9/11 footage.
As for the “muzik”, what was heard can not be unheard (TM SayItWithWookies?)
ManchuCandidate: Yes. They replaced the original text with feigned ignorance.
Ugh, 911 porn, eaglegasms and whatnot. I love the youtube, just not THIS shit on the youtube.
Didn’t Oscar Wilde once say something about all bad art being sincere?
The strategy is this: to produce so much crappy Americana about 9/11 that dems are forced to forget it, for aesthetic reasons.
In that first one, what in hell does Mike Gorbachev have to do with nine eleven?
Also, South Park has the best 9/11 tribute song (or songs, maybe there were several?)
I did like the military version of “Let The [Taliban] Bodies Hit The Floor.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q4IUhWTlis
The only good thing that came out of that day was the Great War Sex with my GF. Affirming life is the best way to say *F*** you, Death.”
“most people got dumber and fatter and deeper in debt” - God isn’t that just way too much truth!
I don’t see the Richard Cohen entry here! Isn’t his video summation of 9/11 porn, “Where’s my Vengeance?”, up on Youtube yet? I could swear I heard him discussing it on NPR just yesterday.
Dear MsFumble who wrote this, News Reporter: Google Translate is not your friend.
ManchuCandidate: Hmmm…well if I ever said that I managed to unsay it (or at least completely forget that I did).
And I’d love to look at all of these, but I’ll have to wait until I can get home and watch them in the proper — um — state of mind.
ManchuCandidate: Smite me if I watch a single one of those videos. I use you all as mine canaries.
I have never been happier about my workplace blocking YouTube as I am right now.
hobospacejunkie: And here is that great South Park song video.
The editors Wonkette often have a hardon for Leonard Cohen.
I’m surprised they didn’t mention “On That Day” as a great 9/11 song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20q1QSibaXk
Still, all the 9/11 playlists are missing something vital if this classic is not included.
Marquis de Villers-St-Paul: D’oh — you beat me to it!
TGY: Shite. I just auto-smote. What sound does a canary make when it dies? Tweet? Gak!? Ooofah? *Thud*?
And of course this amazing video from the Onion, “So I guess what I’d like to say is “Nice try, Osama. Why don’t you try again.”"
While I really do sympathize with people’s need to make sense of such an event, they certainly could have done something better! These are just AWFUL!
You can’t possible have forgotten “America We Stand As One”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmGFVLZC3os
ALL of that is better than the horrible slide show my horrible xenophobic mother in law sent out in a mass email of people jumping out of the towers. Good God. I hate her so much.
On a more serious note, my child was six when this happened. We tried to keep much of the more gory coverage from her, but she knew. One morning shortly after it happened, as I was getting ready for work, the news was on and she walked in my room and watched for a minute or two. They weren’t showing the planes actually crashing, just talking about it. She looked very matter of fact and said “heaven is really crowded right now.”
We’re not even particularly religious, nor am I prone to tears, but that got me. I’m happy to report she’s now a surly high schooler, yay!
“And you say we shouldn’t worry ’bout Bin Laden … have yew fergotten??”
Um. It was Bush/Cheney who thought we shouldn’t worry ’bout Bin Laden. The Clinton administration *warned* them, that FBI gal down in Arizona warned them, but they blew it off.
And after that, after several trillions of dollars spent on the war(s), it was *Bush* who decided finding Bin Laden wasn’t a priority.
Not the Evil Libs who “preached” to you dumb country motherfuckers against the “wisdom” of kicking the wrong set of asses just as window dressing.
How could you possibly assemble such a list without including Speak, the Hungarian Rapper?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–Vaz9jW054
Seriously, Ken. You’re slipping.
For a moment after 911 when Coldplay’s “Yellow” was being introduced to the world, I thought that was the best post-911 song and they would be the greatest band ever. Clearly 911 scarred my judgement.
To quote a banner that my wife saw hanging from an overpass in the days after 9/11:
STAY STONG AMERICA!
That pretty much sums it up.
To get serious for a minute, if you watch anything about 9/11, it should be Frontline’s documentary Faith and Doubt at Ground Zero. PBS should show it every year. You can watch it in its entirety online here: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3320163902235354575#
This is the web site for it: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/faith/
Wouldn’t that be 10 years old?
And Delfin! For God’s sake, Delfin! Seriously, I think we need a second post.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9yvb03R2qs
Wow. I was all set to mock that agonized body language of the lady at the beginning of the “9/11 United” video, until I saw that bald eagle fly out of her ass. I suddenly realized that had something with a 6 foot wingspan, razor sharp beak and talons capable of ripping human flesh emerged from my colon I’d be grimacing pretty hard too. Its truly a testament to the human spirit that she’s still able to sing on key and remember the words to any song after such an excruciating ordeal…
No, no, no, where is “Let The Eagle Soar?” You must pay tribute to Ashcroft and Let The Eagle Soar, it is the true and one best 9-11 song.
Bryan Adams for a 9/11 tribute video??!? He’s a goddamned Canadian!
How about Ryan Adam’s great video for “New York, New York”, recorded, like, days before 9/11. Truly crazy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IhDW18rxyY
If you’re a REAL American, you’ve surely wondered, while sitting on the toilet,
The only thing I ever wonder sitting on the toilet is…
” I hope that wasn’t my liver…”
Does that mean no public option health care for me?
LittlePig: Ah, another numbers nerd like myself. (And here I felt kind of bad pointing out the numerical error in a previous post - Ha!) Do you want to share erotic Nate Silver fantasy stories?
memzilla: That video was brought to you by GE: “We bring good things to end lives.”
I am intrigued by this so-called “Holly God”. This self-styled Lord of the Holly Bush must be powerful indeed if he truly has the power to make everyone feel better!
A water main just broke at 16th and Florida, NW; the terrorists have won again.
Holly God?????? MsFumble is either 8 years old or a fucking retard. I’m not the best speller in the world, but this would make any serious English teacher puke. “Dear people who died from this”, ugh, I think she need to write the letter in all caps, so the dead people can hear her. “Millions of people have died”, really? OMFG.
Thank god for the naked thighs of Wilco’s guest fiddler, or I would have jumped off a goddamn building myself.
crikey_booya: It didn’t do much for me, and apparently it didn’t do much for Laughin’ Lenny either, as he skipped it on his recent/current concert tour, which is very much worth going to see/hear if it’s headed your way.
Anyway, millions of 11-year-olds have died, too, because I guess they would have been TEN in September 2001, if they’re ready for the Army now. Or nine? Who fucking knows, man, who fucking knows.
If you haven’t been horrified enough, you might try:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4y9uSaXlmI
complete with Fox News intro…
Holly God came from Miami, F-L-A
Hitchhiked her way across the U-S-A
Plucked her eyebrows on the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
ow ow! The first one, it hurts my ears!
But in response to the song’s question, no, I haven’t forgotten how it felt to watch my dad roll his eyes and say “great, now people are going to freak out and blow this way out of proportion and use it as an excuse for all kinds of shit,” as they sent us home from school early and half of everything in our town closed/evacuated, because omg the terrorists’ next target might be the local power plant or hospital! ah, memories.
fittingly, Slayer’s album ‘God Hates Us All’ was released on that day…
dijetlo:
The only thing I ever wonder sitting on the toilet is…
”I hope that wasn’t my liver…”
‘I don’t always spray water out my nose, but when I do, I prefer Dijetlo’
crikey_booya: Am I just too young for Leonard Cohen? My boyfriend has a hard-on for him, too, and I am so confused about his significance. Every time he is mentioned, I have to ask “What does Spock have to do with any of this?”. And then I realize that I have the dumb.
iolanthe: So true. I’m one flaming liberal who would still like to see Bin Laden’s head on a post on the White House lawn. But we’re still “over there” bringing freedom and democracy (and nation-building, and what not) at the end of a rifle. Argh. ಠ_ಠ
AnnieGetYourFun: I’m dating a 27-year-old, and she is insanely in love with Leonard Cohen. But then again, that’s almost mandatory on this side of the Atlantic.
Marquis de Villers-St-Paul: … And let’s add that she’s been like that since we first met almost ten years ago.
SayItWithWookies: It’s my day off and I’m at home in a “state of mind”. DON’T DO IT! I’m freaking out right now.
The best thing about Leonard Cohen is when someone else does his songs…
Poet, yes…vocalist, not too much. A Canadian Dylan, so to speak.
Jesus X. Christ. Video #3 looks like a cruel play on the Colbert Green Screen Challenge.
But, you know, US America has always luved accharine remembrances of tragedy and death. Look at all the pithy, sappy sheet music that came out during the Civil War, the Lincoln Funeral Train that took 2 weeks and 1500+ miles to get from DC to Springfield, & all those urn-and-willow gravestones and engravings from the early 1800s. And then there was Twain’s reference in either Huckleberry Finn or Tom Sawyer to a house filled with paintings of sad women grieving for their lost loved ones.
Also.
Rhyming “Forgotten” and “Ben Landen” should be made a capital offense.
Athar: “Ben Laden,” rather.
That awakened eagle in the first video had the crazed look of a town hall tea bagger.
I think I wet myself.
one of the best songs I’ve ever heard, and it happens to fit the theme: “Makeshift Patriot” by Sage Francis.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtNMly0aDUk
Konrad’s “Pause the War” mucus video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo8TsJwkz-g
sort of 9/11 related:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M
When I saw the top picture on the home page I thought it was a panel from the comic “Crankshaft”. Crankshaft is looking at video of the twintowers burning? Is he a truther? But I click on it and see that it is Dick Cheney. Maybe Crankshaft would hve made a better VP.