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DAILY BRIEFING

Eight Years Since 9/11 And No Closer To A Consensus About How To Spell ‘Al-Qaeda’

  • Al-Qaeda is celebrating the eight year anniversary of 9/11 by being impotent, broke, and mired in petty bureaucratic struggles. [The Guardian]
  • Democrats don’t want to send more troops to Afghanistan, despite Obama wanting this more than anything else in the world, basically. [New York Times]
  • Turns out that human beings can beat THE SWINE with one preventative shot, not two, which means twice as many pregnant gals, seniors, and babies (the “at risk groups”) will be able to avoid getting the flu. [New York Times]
  • Here is your comprehensive Joe Wilson Exegesis, complete with South Carolina Civil War-to-Segregation Fun Facts. Joe Wilson actually comes from a storied political lineage of retards, is the point. [Washington Post]
  • To little fanfare, Motorola has unveiled its new Google phone thing and literally no one cared enough to buy more Motorola stocks. Terrible, simply terrible. [Reuters]
  • GM has everything to lose and nothing to gain from its new “May the Best Car Win”-themed PR strategy. [AP]


8:31 AM on Fri September 11 2009
By Juli Weiner
737 Views

  1. hobospacejunkie says at 8:40 am, September 11th, 2009

    Moto’s Cliq phone seems aimed at the all-important “who the fuck would buy this?” demographic.

    Let’s hope the ghost of Lyndon Johnson stalks the White House & tells Barry how an unpopular war can neuter an otherwise liberal presidency.

  2. ManchuCandidate says at 8:48 am, September 11th, 2009

    I can sort of understand why someone wants to put up a bust of a Repube in their office, but Chiang Kai Shek aka The Peanut aka the corrupt incompetent arrogant dunce who made such a mess of China that he lost it to Mao? I can think of no bigger political loser, other than Joe Wilson.

  3. Country Club Jihadi says at 8:49 am, September 11th, 2009

    Until that Google phone makes me a free lunch and heats my toilet seat, like the real Googlers get, they can blow me. In fact, until that Google phone can actually blow me, they can blow me.

  4. “But during four terms, Wilson has had no signature legislation, and colleagues said he focuses more on constituent services than policy.”

    In other words, he’s a leech.

  5. norbizness says at 8:52 am, September 11th, 2009

    I am reminded that most of our post-9/11 strategy was, in essence, to scuttle our own ship of state so that everybody would think we weren’t worth attacking. See also: Edward Norton beating himself up in Fight Club.

  6. Monsieur Grumpe says at 8:53 am, September 11th, 2009

    Lately I’ve been thinking that the final outcome of the Civil War wasn’t such a good thing.

  7. hobospacejunkie says at 8:55 am, September 11th, 2009

    Country Club Jihadi: I think there’s an I-phone app for that.

  8. chascates says at 8:56 am, September 11th, 2009

    I don’t know that the swine flu vaccine will work well in South Carolina. The pigs there are bigger and more vocal than anywhere else.

  9. Birdcrash says at 8:57 am, September 11th, 2009

    The whisper about Wilson is that he can self-fellate.

  10. You say tomato, I say too-ma-toe. Let’s just settle this and call them Al-Fuckfaces.

  11. If GM wants its 1979 Chevette back, I’ll take my $1.35 now.

  12. ifthethunderdontgetya" says at 9:05 am, September 11th, 2009

    We’ve already got a Joe Wilson.

    This Addison Graves Wilson, Sr. tool doesn’t deserve the name.
    ~

  13. hobospacejunkie says at 9:06 am, September 11th, 2009

    chascates: Well then he’s got a future (and maybe a past) in porn. Move over Levi, hello exclusive contract with youjizz.com

  14. “Al-Qaeda is celebrating the eight year anniversary of 9/11 by being impotent, broke, and mired in petty bureaucratic struggles.”
    Join the club, Al-Qaeda.

  15. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 9:24 am, September 11th, 2009

    Can’t we solve the healthcare problem by sending poor people to Afghanistan?

    Oh wait. We already do that.

  16. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 9:28 am, September 11th, 2009

    @4tehlulz: “Constituent services”? Is that “pork”, or some sort of sexytime thing? (Or sexytime thing with pork.)

  17. finallyhappy says at 9:33 am, September 11th, 2009

    Can the hot guy from FIT stomp on Joe Wilson?

  18. War! Good God, y’all, what is it good for? …Wait, what?

  19. Car Ramrod says at 9:45 am, September 11th, 2009

    It’s spelled القاعدة‎

    OH CRAP ANGRY MEN IN SUITS AND SUNGLASSES BROKE DOWN MY DOOR AND ARE BEATING THE HELL OUT OF ME WTF

  20. DangerousLiberal says at 10:11 am, September 11th, 2009

    Does the swine flu shot work equally well for the olds, the preggers and the fats? Because I’ve been hittin’ McD’s a bit hard lately, and I want to jump the line.

  21. Texan Bulldoggette says at 10:15 am, September 11th, 2009

    “Al-Qaeda is … impotent, broke, and mired in petty bureaucratic struggles.”

    Hey, that sounds like the RNC!

  22. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 10:31 am, September 11th, 2009

    “South Carolina is filled with crazy [expletive], excuse my French.”

    OMG. This is like MadLibs Christmas.

  23. “Al-Qaeda is celebrating the eight year anniversary of 9/11 by being impotent, broke, and mired in petty bureaucratic struggles.”

    Ha! And they thought they’d bring US down to THEIR level.

  24. as.the.world.burns says at 1:39 pm, September 11th, 2009

    ‘Saudi authorities, with US help, have run successful “deradicalisation” programmes. Last month they arrested 40 suspects, but one man posing as a repentant militant blew himself up – with explosives hidden in his rectum – in a failed attempt to kill Prince Mohammed bin Nayef, the mastermind of the kingdom’s counter-terrorist effort.’
    dude. how the hell did he detonate that ? maybe i don’t want to know….

  25. Dean Booth says at 4:16 pm, September 11th, 2009

    I’d really worry if I were a pregnant senior in diapers.

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