• February 15, 2012

You could've STOPPED THE PLANES or something, but you wept. Thanks a lot.
(Every year on this rotten day, we repeat this beloved 9/11 feature, sort of like how A Charlie Brown Christmas plays on the teevee every December.) On this solemn day seven eight (whoops!) years ago, nearly 3,000 people were horribly killed so that Rudy Giuliani could earn a hundred million dollars and run for president of 9/11 and the most corrupt administration in American History could wage endless war around the world and many working-class people could affix “United We Stand” bumper stickers to their SUVs, so they could drive around with pride while eating hamburgers off their laps and listening to talk radio wingnuts. Also, “September the Eleventh” has inspired the most insipid, maudlin kitsch in the history of an already very kitschy nation. Let’s look back in horror.

Uhhhhh .... If you thought passenger jets could be terrifying weapons, you’ll truly be terrified by the giant winged baby monster from Hell.

How did such a truly awful, gut-wrenching event inspire such stupid crap? It’s just part of our modern, idiotic culture — the same mouth-breathing instinct that compels people to pile a bunch of wet stinking stuffed animals at the site of a fatal car crash, or order a hundred Thug Life “memorial T-shirts” to remember some shithead gangsta teen who got himself shot, or make a GeoCities memorial site for Princess Diana (with animated GIFs and MIDI music of “Candle In The Wind”).

Or, if you’re an entrepreneur, maybe you just manufacture some lighters in China with bas-relief images of the burning WTC towers and Osama bin Laden’s face, and when you open it, the thing will play “Für Elise” and little LEDs will blink in the “fire.”

But nothing says “We sort of had it coming” like the endless variations of the Crying Eagle.

Oh shit a giant eagle has eaten one of the WTC towers - Wonkette

one for every year he's been away .... - Wonkette

This next one is truly emblematic of the whole pathetic trend: The fucking flag is not only somehow tattooed on the eagle’s feathers, but it’s also backwards. Show some respect, crying eagle.

NO UR DOING IT WRONG - Wonkette

While cynics will say 9/11 has been used primarily to justify a trillion-dollar occupation and destruction of a country that had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11, optimists will point out that 9/11 could also get you a “free” 99-cent sack of grease fries down at the Burger King, in Hilltop Plaza:

More like FREEDOM fries - Wonkette

And if the endless pictures of the Smoke Devil attached to absurd quotes from the Book of Revelations weren’t enough, somebody decided to bring attention to yet another mysterious animal shape in the smoke:

The fuck is that supposed to be? - Wonkette

Uhhhh ….. Is it a chicken drumstick? Maybe the head of that little dude in “Gremlins”? Maybe a mooninite?

hi jesus! - Wonkette

Optimists saw Jesus as the Great Destroyer.

Let’s move on:

We won't easily forget this one .... - Wonkette

Okay, WTF? Is this what 9/11 is like in Second Life?

Uhhhhhhh - Wonkette

Burning? Is that really the word you want to use here?

America is back, babies! Or it was back, until a colored became president.

{ 161 comments }

freakishlystrong September 11, 2009 at 9:15 am

NEVAR FORGET!!111 Jesus on black velvet Ken, you DO read our posts!

Chad San Marino September 11, 2009 at 9:16 am

Never forget America . . . just how stupid we really are.

ManchuCandidate September 11, 2009 at 9:17 am

I’m sure all those non-Xtians who died in the two towers appreciated Jeebus’ hand in all this.

widget09 September 11, 2009 at 9:17 am

That goddamn smoke devil seems to appear whenever something catches on fire. Jesus wept, is one of my personal favorites, instead of preventing the planes hitting the twin towers, Jesus fucking wept……what a pussy.

chascates September 11, 2009 at 9:19 am

Never forget . . . that Bush looked at the intelligence briefing titled ‘Bin Ladin determined to strike in U.S.’ and then told the briefer, “OK, you’ve covered your ass now.”

freakishlystrong September 11, 2009 at 9:21 am

Really? Free Medium Freedom Fries for our Fallen heroes? What the Fuck?

scotack September 11, 2009 at 9:23 am

9/11 caused scrapbooking.

jodyleek September 11, 2009 at 9:24 am

“On this solemn day seven years ago…”
Apparently, you forgot this is 2009. Never forget, indeed! My velvet eagle weeps for you and your grasp of mathematics.

Monsieur Grumpe September 11, 2009 at 9:24 am

Can I get some crying eagle mud flaps? Preferably in a color scheme that matches my Trucknutz.

queeraselvis v 2.0 September 11, 2009 at 9:25 am

Lady Liberty from the Second Life poster needz moar boobiez.

Junior September 11, 2009 at 9:25 am

Scary – that shape in the smoke is MY DOG, Izzy. I’d recognize that little head and those big ears anywherez…

hobospacejunkie September 11, 2009 at 9:25 am

That’s the most retarded thing I’ve ever seen. Eagles can’t cry. Without hands they can’t hold a hanky and blow their nose.

JadedDIssonance September 11, 2009 at 9:26 am

[re=408584]scotack[/re]: along with lung-cancer and other various atrocities.

HoboNutz September 11, 2009 at 9:28 am

everytime a wingnutter makes one of these things, god kills a kitten

MARCdMan September 11, 2009 at 9:30 am

[re=408588]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: and blue fur.

Junior September 11, 2009 at 9:30 am

What is truly strange about the repository of these images (http://www.texasdude.com/cry.htm) is that it is dedicated to the memory of Matthew Shephard, the guy who was beaten to death by a couple of homophobic yet bi-curious rednecks.

Monsieur Grumpe September 11, 2009 at 9:30 am

[re=408587]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:
Memo to self:
Search for black velvet Trucknutz for Christmas gifts and/or tree ornaments.

hobospacejunkie September 11, 2009 at 9:30 am

Show some respect, crying eagle.

I can feel the martyrs of 9/11 already lining up to haunt me for laughing out loud at this gruesome display of American Awesomeness.

finallyhappy September 11, 2009 at 9:31 am

I just wish people would stop connecting the current wars as being germane to 9/11. I just had to listen to that at a ceremony commemorating 9/11.

the problem child September 11, 2009 at 9:31 am

It’s Mickey Mouse in the smoke! OMG, corporate interests were behind it after all!

WadISay September 11, 2009 at 9:31 am

Ben Franklin wanted a turkey to be our national bird. When you think about a turkey weeping, the eagle seems sort of reasonable.

the problem child September 11, 2009 at 9:32 am

Oh, wait, maybe it’s Horton the Elephant listening to Whos.

scotack September 11, 2009 at 9:32 am

[re=408591]JadedDIssonance[/re]: There are few things that can bring a tear to Jesus’ eye(s).

twowheeljunkie September 11, 2009 at 9:33 am

[re=408581]widget09[/re]: Right. Why does someone who has just had their home destroyed thank the lord for sparing them. They should be mad as hell for what he did to them.

ifthethunderdontgetya" September 11, 2009 at 9:33 am

Wow.
~

Crab1 September 11, 2009 at 9:34 am
Hawaiiexpat September 11, 2009 at 9:35 am

I’m trying to photoshop the 9/11 WTC scene with the velvet dogs playing poker. But can’t figure out where to put they animated Michele Bachmann, lying mourfully tearing her clothes and hair.

Suggestions?

Jim Demintia September 11, 2009 at 9:35 am

In America, all the doughnuts have names that sound like prostitutes.

Crab1 September 11, 2009 at 9:37 am

[re=408608]Hawaiiexpat[/re]: in a burqa?

Rotundo September 11, 2009 at 9:40 am

[re=408596]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Great new marketing idea there, implant various fuzzes, hair etc. and call them Fuzznuts! Or you could put a “syringe” injected into them and call them Numbnuts! Tattoo logos from brewers and call them BeerNuts! (oh wait, they already use that one…)

Capitol Hillbilly September 11, 2009 at 9:41 am

Freedom Fries Aren’t Free!

mattbolt September 11, 2009 at 9:42 am

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

9/11.

9/11 who?

I thought you said you’d Never Forget. :(

4tehlulz September 11, 2009 at 9:43 am

LEARN THE TRUTH SHEEPLE!

PORT AUTHORITY OF NEW YORK AND NEW JERSEY DID WTC

tootsieroll September 11, 2009 at 9:44 am

I can only imagine the fun “Dear Editor” letters you might get today…

norbizness September 11, 2009 at 9:44 am

I never realized that eagles were such pussies.

Terry September 11, 2009 at 9:44 am

[re=408585]jodyleek[/re]:

Maybe Wonkette is going to make a tradition of posting the 2008 entry verbatim year after year without any changes.

memzilla September 11, 2009 at 9:45 am

I lost three people in the towers, I am now watching the Reading of the Names, and I agree with everything Ken wrote here, along with most of the commenters.

Today brings home just how much I despise the Republitards for f***ing this country up, starting from this day.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled snark.

One Yield Regular September 11, 2009 at 9:45 am

That eagle with the flag painted on the side of its head is so cold war-ish. Any chance of getting an animated gif of it turning its head to reveal the flag of the U.S.S.R. on the other side?

TGY September 11, 2009 at 9:46 am

We are a nation of 9/11 snowglobes.

Also, they had to reverse the flag on that eagle or else it’d be in ‘blueface’.

Chad San Marino September 11, 2009 at 9:46 am

[re=408607]Crab1[/re]: Oh God. It hurts. I didn’t think it was possible to make this song any worse. I was so, SO wrong.

queeraselvis v 2.0 September 11, 2009 at 9:47 am

[re=408608]Hawaiiexpat[/re]: Duh. Bachmann is the googly-eyed, slutty cocktail waitress serving up stale beer and three-day-old moldy Snausages.

friendlyskies September 11, 2009 at 9:48 am

Can’t we have a children’s treasury of 9/11-related facebook status updates?

Noodle Salad September 11, 2009 at 9:50 am

Lady Liberty is hot, particularly with those sexy claw marks left by that rabid muslin furry.

shellbomber September 11, 2009 at 9:50 am

Man photoshop has come a long way since 2001.

Deacon Frank Orris September 11, 2009 at 9:51 am

[re=408600]WadISay[/re]: On the other hand, the turkey probably has more cause, what with the ritual killing every year and all. And I have to say the symbolism of killing and eating Our National Bird every November would just be awesome. Like communion, only more apropos.

freakishlystrong September 11, 2009 at 9:52 am

[re=408621]memzilla[/re]: I’m sorry for your loss Memzilla. How do the Republitards get away with saying they “kept the country safe?” We’re still dealing with the clusterfuck that was the Bush administration.

PerhapsSo September 11, 2009 at 9:53 am

I was depressed this morning, but this cheered me up considerably by reminding me of my smug superiority over the Jesus goblins. Kudos.

shellbomber September 11, 2009 at 9:53 am

[re=408625]Chad San Marino[/re]: I feel bad for the other 118,022 people who had to witness that, you included.

Junior September 11, 2009 at 9:54 am

[re=408608]Hawaiiexpat[/re]:

I’d have the dogs playing poker in front of Michelle in a sponge-painted mural lying prostrate at the foot of the burning towers. The devil smoke then morphs into the form of Bin Laden looming over them with maddened muslin eyes. But that’s just my personal taste.

queeraselvis v 2.0 September 11, 2009 at 9:55 am

[re=408631]Deacon Frank Orris[/re]: You mean like this? Such as. Also.

queeraselvis v 2.0 September 11, 2009 at 9:56 am

@KenLayne: MAD PROPS for the alt-texts.

SnarkNotFark September 11, 2009 at 9:57 am

My avatar would hit that. She must like it rough, ’cause it looks like she has a bloody nose and claw marks on her breasts. I’ll show you a huddled mass yearning to breathe free.

mattbolt September 11, 2009 at 9:58 am
the lady MS. Sheila Dixon September 11, 2009 at 9:58 am

At least now everyone remembers my bitrthday. I am crying while opening my gifts. THANKS A LOT BIN LOAFIN’!!!111

mattbolt September 11, 2009 at 9:59 am

http://thecorner.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/04/396.jpg

Also, JESUS as CAPTAIN AMERICA in… 9/11: THE MOVIE.

Terry September 11, 2009 at 10:00 am

[re=408621]memzilla[/re]:

Every time I hear the title of that report, “bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the US”, I get angry all over again.

Anita Cocktail September 11, 2009 at 10:00 am

What? No “These colors don’t run”?

Jim89048 September 11, 2009 at 10:02 am

That does it, cancel my subscription.

Jim89048 September 11, 2009 at 10:06 am

[re=408646]Anita Cocktail[/re]: “What? No “These colors coloreds don’t run”?”
/fixed

snoidoid September 11, 2009 at 10:10 am

[re=408619]norbizness[/re]: Not only are eagles pussies, they generally eat carrion. Must have nice morning breath, no?

stink, but September 11, 2009 at 10:10 am

SNARK! SNARK!! SNARK!!!

hobospacejunkie September 11, 2009 at 10:11 am

[re=408615]mattbolt[/re]: You’re going to hell.

Godot September 11, 2009 at 10:11 am

[re=408583]freakishlystrong[/re]: I know right, our fallen heroes deserve at LEAST a large fries.

That second “crying eagle” looks like more of an “giant anime sweat drop eagle”. I’m not sure what he’s embarrassed or nervous about, perhaps it’s because of someone he ran into at the TGI Friday’s he appears to be at.

gertrudis September 11, 2009 at 10:12 am

[re=408615]mattbolt[/re]: That is some evil genius. I laughed, I cried, I’m forwarding it to a select few of my very twisted friends.

the lady MS. Sheila Dixon September 11, 2009 at 10:13 am

the smoky thing makes me think of:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84K6Zvvem

nappyduggs September 11, 2009 at 10:14 am

Can some artistically minded Wonkette wunderkind please whip us up a picture of the Twin Towers with a picture of Sarah Palin’s faced super-imposed over the image of “Our Lady of Guadalupe”?

I really need to add more disgusting visuals to this sweet anger fire I get to burnin’ every year around this time.

Thank you also to Mr. Ken Layne for reminding me how we pious and noble Americans can turn just about any tragedy into some tchotke that fits conveniently next to a miniature spoon collection and an inscribed beer stein.

S.Luggo September 11, 2009 at 10:16 am
jasper f. krone September 11, 2009 at 10:16 am

Has this Texas Dude ever heard of MIDI note quantization? That sounded like Navin Johnson doing the Hambone while Battle Hymn is squeaked on three kazoos.

Holy Cow!! September 11, 2009 at 10:16 am

Yes, the tasteless orgy of grieving year after year (and it’s been 8 years not 7) is long overdue to have come to an end.

snoidoid September 11, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=408579]Chad San Marino[/re]: “Never forget America . . . just how stupid we really are.”

Chad, 100 IQ will get you through life reasonably well, but the lower you goes, the stupider you is. 100 is, by definition, the average IQ. That means that HALF of the country has IQ less than 100. Teh stoopid.

Stupid is as stupid does. Hence Joe Wilson and the people who put him in office.

S.Luggo September 11, 2009 at 10:18 am

Like rust, the entrepreneurial spirit never sleeps:

https://www.911twenty.com/flare/next

Prommie September 11, 2009 at 10:18 am

[re=408636]Junior[/re]: the dogs should be waiting turns to do Bachmann, doggie style, the dog currently humping Bachmann should nevertheless continue playing his hand, she’s not THAT good. At least, thats my taste.

The one thing I have vowed never, ever to forget, is Ashcroft singing “Let The Eagle Soar.”

WABishop September 11, 2009 at 10:18 am

[re=408620]Terry[/re]: Never forget the 2008 reposting of this piece!

Edywin September 11, 2009 at 10:21 am

I want a tee shirt and a commemorative plate of this post. I already have the holiday special DVD autographed by Mr. Layne.

Jim89048 September 11, 2009 at 10:23 am

[re=408659]jasper f. krone[/re]: Needs more autotune.

McDuff September 11, 2009 at 10:24 am

I blame all this stuff on Hummels and their Little Angel imitators.

germansteel September 11, 2009 at 10:26 am

It is now past the time of the day of the twin towers and Pentagon bombings on September 11, 2001 and Barack Obama has kept our nation safe longer than Dick Cheney and George Bush did.

Suck on that, Cheney.

Godot September 11, 2009 at 10:27 am

[re=408661]snoidoid[/re]: “100 is, by definition, the average IQ. That means that HALF of the country has IQ less than 100.”

That’s not how averages work at all.

Brendan M. September 11, 2009 at 10:30 am

The mysterious outline of an animal shape in the smoke is actually an elephant humping the WTC…which is actually pretty damn accurate.

Woodwards Friend September 11, 2009 at 10:31 am

This is why they hate us. Awful art.

Brendan M. September 11, 2009 at 10:31 am

[re=408673]Godot[/re]: It is if you have an IQ of less than 100, as do half of Americans.

JadedDIssonance September 11, 2009 at 10:34 am

I forgot today was 9-11. NEVAR FORGET!

El Pinche September 11, 2009 at 10:36 am

[re=408662]S.Luggo[/re]:
It’s like Christmas!!!
What’s the back look like? Piles of body parts shoved into pot holes but in glistening .999 silver leaf !

BadKitty September 11, 2009 at 10:37 am

[re=408673]Godot[/re]: Which means snoidoid is probably in the <100 range.

Monsieur Grumpe September 11, 2009 at 10:37 am

[re=408662]S.Luggo[/re]:
You are the Prince of Tacky Shit!

Roger the Shrubber September 11, 2009 at 10:37 am

[re=408583]freakishlystrong[/re]: That’s like when people ask me to donate to Muscular Dystrophy. What has Muscular Dystrophy ever done for me?

Gallowglass September 11, 2009 at 10:38 am

I think that smoke monster is supposed to be a koala. Not sure what Revelations has to say on that.

user-of-owls September 11, 2009 at 10:38 am

[re=408581]widget09[/re]: instead of preventing the planes hitting the twin towers, Jesus fucking wept……what a pussy.

No, you got it wrong. He was trying to put the fire out with giant Jesus tears. Alas, more people would have been saved if he pissed instead.

hobospacejunkie September 11, 2009 at 10:38 am

[re=408662]S.Luggo[/re]:
Hey hey my my
Crying eagle will never die
My my hey hey
Crying eagle is here to stay

“Keep on rockin’ in the free world! Thank you, Houston, good night!”

widget09 September 11, 2009 at 10:41 am

[re=408662]S.Luggo[/re]: How sick, to capitalize on 911. Do the coins come with complementary solid brass Trucknutz?

BklynIlluminati September 11, 2009 at 10:41 am

You know I thought I was the only one who got pissed off that these monkeys had hijacked 9/11. I have to suffer every slacked jawed yokel gawk at what should be considered holy ground. And now as I am watching the names being read it seems that now it’s ok to wear a tshirt that has some lame cause on it that has nothing to do with 9/11. Please all of you leave NY

mattbolt September 11, 2009 at 10:43 am
nappyduggs September 11, 2009 at 10:49 am

[re=408699]mattbolt[/re]:

I just had a mighty,fierce release. For this, I thank you.

Weeping Jesus September 11, 2009 at 10:49 am

You know, as years go by I’ve gotten to where I get only mildly bummed out on 9/11. I save the crying for April 15, the date on which I annually give the socialist death panel my tax money so they can tell my grandmother they think she should probably consider a yard sale since she ain’t gonna need all that stuff where she’s going.

Speed Ball September 11, 2009 at 10:50 am

Those eagles have no idea what is going on. Chances are they’re preoccupied worrying over whether their soft egg shells will hatch in their nest on top of the DeutscheBank building after prolonged exposure to melting plastics and chemical smoke.

Weeping Jesus September 11, 2009 at 10:50 am

By the way, why is there no Blingee 9/11 contest this year?

Min September 11, 2009 at 10:51 am

evn so, i still haz a sad.

Monsieur Grumpe September 11, 2009 at 10:52 am

[re=408699]mattbolt[/re]:
That makes my inner eagle sob.
Add some Blingee?

McDuff September 11, 2009 at 10:53 am

[re=408681]Brendan M.[/re]: Time for everyone to go back to math class and relearn the difference between Median and Mean (average): http://mathforum.org/library/drmath/view/58326.html

jeebuscreebus September 11, 2009 at 10:55 am

FREE MEDIUM FRIES! FREE MEDIUM FRIES!

Lascauxcaveman September 11, 2009 at 10:55 am

9/11 Commemorative Art: Blingee Optional

(and completely redundant)

SayItWithWookies September 11, 2009 at 10:56 am

Oh, and let’s not forget to have a special fuck you to Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell for their insightful analysis of the cause, too.

mattbolt September 11, 2009 at 10:57 am

While I had Photoshop open, I figured out the outline…

http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/4044/koala911.gif

KOALAS DID 9/11!

Catholics4Condoms September 11, 2009 at 10:59 am

Remember to pronounce 911 as nine-one-one. This day marks the start of the one-two-two-five shopping season.

The outline of the smoke is supposed to be winged victory? A headless pagan sculpture?

Maybe the people in the middle of the country can get in the spirit of 9/11/01 by lining up for $6 / gallon gasoline.

Jim89048 September 11, 2009 at 11:01 am

[re=408699]mattbolt[/re]: OMFG, win!

isadelia September 11, 2009 at 11:02 am

[re=408722]mattbolt[/re]: 2 audible lols from me for your excellent photoshop skills. Well done sir.

user-of-owls September 11, 2009 at 11:02 am

[re=408715]McDuff[/re]: [re=408718]jeebuscreebus[/re]: FREE MEDIAN FRIES! FREE MEDIAN FRIES!

house of the blue lights September 11, 2009 at 11:07 am

Wait. The president is black?

house of the blue lights September 11, 2009 at 11:09 am

[re=408592]HoboNutz[/re]: Okay, coffee spewed all over the keyboard.

Varchar September 11, 2009 at 11:09 am

“On this solemn day seven years ago…”

It’s been EIGHT years, you treacherous fucks.

El Pinche September 11, 2009 at 11:10 am

[re=408712]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Yes, I agree. This beautiful pic begs some sparkly fireworks or maybe even a .45 shooting (TOWARD MECCA!!) .

bitterz September 11, 2009 at 11:10 am

I wonder what was done with this theme in seed art, at the Minnesota state fair. Anyone visit this year? Surely there must have been one or two towers on display?

hobospacejunkie September 11, 2009 at 11:11 am

Don’t forget today is Patriot Day also. At least according to my google calendar, which is nevar wrong.

karen September 11, 2009 at 11:13 am

MSNBC feels the need to play back the entire Today Show coverage from 9/11. Can’t we just photoshop them off the teevee?

Brendan M. September 11, 2009 at 11:13 am

[re=408715]McDuff[/re]: Oh my gawd, they got to you! You’re one of them! Didn’t your parents keep you home when Obama was indoctrinating?!?!

facehead September 11, 2009 at 11:16 am

What animal shape is that supposed to be? Fudgey the Whale?

as.the.world.burns September 11, 2009 at 11:17 am

[re=408662]S.Luggo[/re]: “But on the other side, it’s the first time ever that two separate numbers have been used to add up to the full $20 face value – it uses 9 and 11 to commemorate the 7th anniversary of the World Trade Center tragedy.”

jesus wept….at america’a ability to exploit a horrible tragedy by hawking tacky fucking garbage. gaahh.
and somehow, ken managed to kick off the post at 9:11 AM……..

McDuff September 11, 2009 at 11:17 am

[re=408731]user-of-owls[/re]: Math humor — the smallest sub-speciality of comedy known to humankind.

head58 September 11, 2009 at 11:19 am

The shape in the smoke is clearly Fudgie the Whale.

randomsausage September 11, 2009 at 11:21 am

[re=408722]mattbolt[/re]: +! for Mattbolt. Let’s napalm some Eucalyptus groves and flush those little fucks out into the open.

springfield_meltdown September 11, 2009 at 11:25 am

[re=408748]bitterz[/re]: Nope. People up here have some taste. Although there was a portrait of Farrah Fawcett this year.

Monsieur Grumpe September 11, 2009 at 11:28 am

[re=408748]bitterz[/re]:
I was there. Sadly, or not, the artwork was mostly tasteful. I did see a fat guy sitting down with one of his nuts poking through a hole in shorts.

McDuff September 11, 2009 at 11:29 am

[re=408751]Brendan M.[/re]: Naw, I was edjumaceded in the high school maths back when Ford was tripping down the steps of Air Force One.

hobospacejunkie September 11, 2009 at 11:32 am

beat your meat on the toilet seat
do da, do da
sure looks funny but it sure feels neat
all the do da day

randomsausage September 11, 2009 at 11:45 am

America: Land of the free, home of the pussy eagles.

By the way, I didn’t realize that Russia had donated massive truck-nutz to help us get over our grief. By way of a sculpture in Bayonne, NJ:

http://vigilantcitizen.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Tearsofgriefbayonne.jpg

Thank you comrades!

Click September 11, 2009 at 11:48 am

Why is that one fireman trying to look up the angel’s dress?

Katydid September 11, 2009 at 11:49 am

[re=408595]Junior[/re]: Yeah, I was wondering about that too.

The possibilities of what it could mean are threatening to make my head explode. It might rock my world too much, and I’m too tired today for any world-rocking.

The only analogy I can think of, and I hope it makes sense, is that my father, who was a lib, didn’t see flag-burning as a free speech issue, which drove me nuts. He thought it was just wrong, like spitting on the Constitution or something. Although I don’t think he would have thought that a crying eagle means…well, I don’t really think it’s supposed to mean anything, it’s just evocative, for dummies. I don’t think it would have worked on him. He was only reactionary about flag burning, for some reason.

thefrontpage September 11, 2009 at 11:52 am

Why would anyone produce a commemorative memorial Sept. 11, 2001……lighter?

Are people really that ignorant? Yes.

bitterz September 11, 2009 at 11:53 am

[re=408780]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: [re=408771]springfield_meltdown[/re]:
I would have liked to have seen the birth certificate.

Click September 11, 2009 at 11:55 am

Posted at 9:11. Nicely done.
Also, I do wonder, is the sacrificing of an anti-abortionist going to become the new 9/11 commemorative ritual?

Click September 11, 2009 at 12:02 pm

Looks like scrawny Lady Liberty’s deviated septum is bleeding again.

Marquis de Villers-St-Paul September 11, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Thank you, Google Image Search. My day is now as ruined as the World Trade Center:

Batman Tattoo Art : World Trade Center Tribute WTC 911

Varchar September 11, 2009 at 12:22 pm
randomsausage September 11, 2009 at 12:22 pm

[re=408888]Marquis de Villers-St-Paul[/re]: lol. Batman looks like he forgot to turn off the gas or something.

RoscoePColtraine September 11, 2009 at 12:30 pm

I liked the one that ties into the marines raising the flag at Iwo Jima. I never considered the possibility that the FDNY guys ran into the WTC towers to PUT THE FLAG BACK. Except it took four marines versus two firefighters. Marines are pussies.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello September 11, 2009 at 12:35 pm

[re=408642]mattbolt[/re]: that is one big bowl of awesome

AlexisHidell September 11, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Ah yes, my all-time favorite Wonkette Children’s Treasury. In fact, I find it so inspiring that I included a red white and blue glitter burning WTC tower AND a crying eagle on the 9/11 page in the beautiful scrapbook I made to commemorate the end of the W years. Thanxxx 4 teh memriez!

NoWireHangers September 11, 2009 at 1:02 pm

Since it’s 911 day on the internet and all, I thought I’d stop by. I knew you’d have a present for me. I needed to cleanse the palette after someone on facebook used the crying eagle without irony.

taylormattd September 11, 2009 at 1:08 pm

When do I get to bang the FIT trainer dude? Seriously, I can’t read this site anymore without getting super horny.

bureaucrap September 11, 2009 at 1:16 pm

Don’t you have any NEW 9-11 kitsch? We’ve seen all this stuff before. How about a gigantic weeping Joe Wilson hovering over the burning WTC? Or Sarah Palin tongue-kissing a weeping american eagle. Now THAT’s art!!!

Hooray For Anything September 11, 2009 at 1:37 pm

In honor of this day, is W going to a 9/11 memorial and read from “The Pet Goat?”

biggiantannoyingthing September 11, 2009 at 1:44 pm

haz i been banned from posting comments?

randomsausage September 11, 2009 at 1:45 pm

[re=409042]bureaucrap[/re]: I’m with you buddy. I think the time has come for some folks to use their mad Photoshop skillz to come up with some 9/11 “Revenge” kitsch.

Whit aboot…..

Sarah Palin, piloting a bald eagle — as it makes a b-line for The Grand Mosque in Mecca

bonghitsforjesus September 11, 2009 at 2:42 pm

[re=408608]Hawaiiexpat[/re]: Michele Bachmann gnashing her tooth and tearing her hair on the table- cards scattered across her wiry frame- the queen of hearts discretely covering her right nipple. The twin towers and crying eagle/jebus form out of the smoke from the dog’s cigars.

biggiantannoyingthing September 11, 2009 at 2:42 pm

Whew. ok, look at Jesus make Santa cry for fucks sake: http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s129/PeaceNikki72/2064728100_5539fd72ee_b.jpg

widget09 September 11, 2009 at 2:54 pm

[re=409174]biggiantannoyingthing[/re]: Oh great, Jesus & Satan, I mean Santa together, how cute.

brendy September 11, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Does anyone have the best 9/11 bald eagle gif ever?

It’s a bald eagle staring off into the distance with a look of horror on his face and in his eyes you can see the reflection of the twin towers burning? It’s animated, but not cartoony. It needs to be on this page and I cannot find it anywhere.

bored with gravity September 11, 2009 at 3:00 pm

[re=408699]mattbolt[/re]: You are too wonderful. Can I bear any/all of your children?

randomsausage September 11, 2009 at 3:14 pm

[re=409174]biggiantannoyingthing[/re]: Thanks for the Santa/Jesus pic — that is four shades of awesome.

What’s the message here?

Santa: “Jesus, the terrists spoiled Xmas.”
Big J: “Don’t worry my son, you’ll get over it. The Grim Reaper was pretty pissed that Halloween was a bust…but soon started to perk up”.

CorkPopper September 11, 2009 at 3:52 pm

I was walking my dog yesterday and noticed, for the first time, that a house around the corner has a flagpole in the yard (none of this pansy-ass flag brackets on the side of the house) that was flying BOTH the American flag AND that face-tattooed eagle, immediately below the actual flag. It was awesome. I wanted to take a picture and send it to Wonkette.

Neoyorquino September 11, 2009 at 4:02 pm

On the topic of kitschy ephemera, am I the only one bothered by the countless variations of yellow ribbon magnets on the trunk/tailgate of people’s vehicles? I was going to get one that said “I support the Chinese prison labor that manufactured this novelty magnet”, but it was too long.

ladymacbeth September 11, 2009 at 4:48 pm

now wait just one minute. my memory tells me that in years past, that first jesus picture posting was a LOT more opinionated.

never forget!

ServiceJervixJuice September 11, 2009 at 4:55 pm

[re=408581]widget09[/re]: I’m with you. Jesus could’ve easily given Mohammed Atta and his pals heart attacks when they were snorting coke off stripper’s asses and downing shots at “Cheetah’s” strip club here in Sarasota, FL. It’s just fucked up the way Jesus and all those other gods let evil play out just cause they’re eternally bored.

PlanetWingnuta September 11, 2009 at 4:58 pm

ok that thing in bayonne looks like one giant pre-cum drop.

ServiceJervixJuice September 11, 2009 at 5:02 pm

[re=409174]biggiantannoyingthing[/re]: Ha-Ha! Santa is so fat that Jesus had to dislocate his own shoulder to embrace Santa.

juepucta September 11, 2009 at 5:48 pm

See, this what happens when BO is in office: http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o285/1ggneous/0622ac3e.jpg no matter how many geese, tragedy is averted! We neede somebody like him 8 yrs ago.

Also, did this monster warn us? http://gothamist.com/attachments/arts_jen/0109cookiemonster.jpg

-G.

OffTheRecord September 11, 2009 at 6:50 pm

Fuck my fucking job and its fucking restrictive internets that has prevented me from seeing this all day. I thought about it at 9:11 (Okay, more like 9:18) and became inconsolably sad because I just knew Ken has posted his annual 9-11 masterpiece and I couldn’t see it because at my job the goddamn internet terrorists have won.

jagorev September 11, 2009 at 7:30 pm

[re=409427]juepucta[/re]: Whoa. Those were trippy.

juepucta September 11, 2009 at 8:26 pm

Not trippy man. Just my pal Barry’s magical awesomeness.

-G.

smellyal8r September 12, 2009 at 4:26 pm

On 9/12, I worried that I’d have to listen to Lee Greenwood for the rest of my life singing about how “he’d stand up next to me…”. Thank God that didn’t come to pass. In the Fall of ’01, we were all being told that irony was dead, comedy was over and we would never be the same again. That was pretty much over by the spring of ’02. I was in NYC last weekend and I can tell you, for the natives, emotions still run a little close to the surface (mostly it’s fear and remembering friends who did actually die in the Towers) but they think all this other stuff is BS and they still hate W (it is NYC after all). The amazing thing from the vaunted Bush “administration” is that OBL was able to celebrate the eighth anniversary alive while Saddam, who had nothing to do with this, faced a public hanging. Oliver Stone should have put THAT in his movie.

Bicho[DBZ] September 14, 2009 at 6:09 am

hum, guys, I don’t really get your message, am not american, but, can’t you see that the very last sentence on this post is what _might_ have triggered that attack (if it _was_ really a terrorist attack and not just a conspiracy that you* made up for yourselves.)

* Bush administration

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