The Republican Inappropriate Behaviors Olympic Ceremony

It is a MEDICAL FACT straight from the basement laboratory of Dr. Charles Boustany that Congressional MVP Joe Wilson has won the Internet for the Republicans today! Hooray! Do not forget though, in your excitement for Wilson's accomplishment, to pay proper respect to Lindsey Graham and Eric Cantor, who deserve other, lesser athletic superlatives! Last night, Graham and Cantor set USA records in the Who's Paying Attention the Least competition. Let's honor them!

"Best 'Assist'"

Graham has earned this one, hands down , with his excruciatingly awkward indiscriminate clapping. Lindsey Graham hates the dumb public option so much that he will not clap but..."rub his hands together"... as if readying himself to MURDER it.

Graham then did the opposite of clapping, which is releasing a statementabout how hurt his feelings are that the public option even exists."When it comes to the public option, the President is either being disingenuous or misinformed. The public option, contrary to the president's claims, will eventually lead to a government takeover of our health care system."

"Good Effort"

Here is Eric Cantor, slime-covered tentacles a'flying, typing away on his Blackberry phone.

Ben Smith has already checked: Cantor was not Twittering any Twitters on his official Twitter.

Everyone please rise as Meghan McCain will now sing the National Anthem.

[ Graham and Cantor via Ben Smith]