Wonkette
“¡Bonjour!” Here is your bit of Foreign News, from the International country of France. France’s “President” (which is like the equivalent of America’s President), Nicholas Sarkozy, went to speak at some auto plant in the Detroit, Michigan region of Normandy. Sarkozy then had the French police divvy up the plant workers into groups of short people and “undesirables.” The undesirables were told to stay away if they know what’s good for them, while the short people were arranged about the 5′5″ Sarkozy in such a way as to make him look taller by comparison. This is called a Sarkozy Complex, and it has plagued many of France’s historical leaders going all the way back to Napoleon.
The Telegraph has broken down Sarkozy’s psychological motivations for making the French citizenry line up from shortest to tallest:
“Pictures are then shown of the 20 workers on board a coach which brought them in from other parts of the three mile square Faurecia site.
All admitted that they were among the smallest members of the 1400-strong Faurecia workforce, and had been selected to replace the usual workers in the unit where Mr Sarkozy made his speech about the car industry.
Mr Sarkozy, who is notoriously sensitive about his height, did not want a repeat of the fiasco in June when he was caught using a footstool when delivering a speech alongside Gordon Brown and Barak [sic] Obama on one of Normandy’s nearby D-Day beaches.”
The French president felt small standing next to the American and British leaders on D-Day beaches. This is breaking news, in 1945.
Dude, you’re the President of France and you’ve got the hottest wife of any world leader, anywhere, maybe in all of history.
Lose the complex, already.
Short people have no reason to lead.
This would be the first time I’d ever get kicked out of photo because I’m TOO tall (just under 5′7″.)
Then he took the six shortest guys, the ones with the little munchkin voices, and they all got on speakerphone and prank-called Sarah Palin.
Did he have Sylvester Stallone with him too?
Huh, I’ve always had a thing for short guys. But not French guys. I have fun in Japan, is what I’m saying.
gurukalehuru:
A good complex can cause a man to ignore all other things.
Teh France loves it some short squirt leadership.
“Alexander the Great, five feet exactly. Isn’t that incredible? Alexander the Great, whose empire stretched from India to Hungary, one inch shorter than me. Oliver Cromwell, the only man with any guts in British history, not a big man at all. Louis Catorze, five foot two half. Charlemagne, dumpy little five-footer. He’s quite a little chap. Atilla the Hun, five foot one half. Cyrano deBergerac, five foot three half. Tamerlane the Great, four foot nine and three quarters.”
The French president felt small standing next to the American and British leaders on D-Day beaches. This is breaking news, in 1945.
Ouch.
Interesting bit of history: Napoleon created an elite military division of all the tall Frenchies and they all eventually got killed, fighting in wars and so on, so there were only short French men left and that is why the French (men) are generally short. I have not verified this on Wikipedia but I have heard this in the past from historians.
He’s taller when he’s lying down, if ya know what I’m sayin’
norbizness: Ian Holm in Time Bandits?
I thought short people were jolly, like little elves.
Vanity. All is vanity. He’s not just short and vain but also somewhat of a trou du cul. (Regardless of what B. Dylan may have said after meeting him backstage).
emberglance: That’s a great story, but I work at a French bank, and most of them are 6′, at least.
sad tortoise: FRENCH elves do not do, how you say, the jolly.
Vive l’Empereur Sarkozy!
And now we know why Sarah Palin takes Trig with her everywhere.
sad tortoise: Quite the contrary: many if not all short men have Short Man Syndrome, which makes them angry and insecure whenever there’s someone taller around, which is most of the time.
norbizness: Lincoln: 6′-4″, Jefferson 6′-2.5″, Obama 6′-1″. FDR 6′-2″. Need more be said?
ManchuCandidate: “This would be the first time I’d ever get kicked out of photo because I’m TOO tall (just under 5′7″.)”
Guy: “I’m 5′7″
Reality : you are 5′4 1/2
If he wore a sideways Napoleon-style hat, that would make him feel better.,, and start a fashion trend that would last a short 6 months.
Well, if we ever decide a war by the ancient method of “throwing your ally for distance”, you’ll be damned happy we got that little dwarf on our side.
shellbomber: also, “8.5 inches and thick”
shellbomber:
Hey! I don’t lie about any of measurements… at least not in bed. I swear!
emberglance: Numerous tall ones in the Grande Armée but the tallest were in his elite retinue, Grenadiers à Pied de la Garde Impériale, with bearskin q-tip hats (bonnet à poil)…
Sarkozy is of mixed Hungarian-Mediterranean Sephardic origin…with abandonment issues. Touchy touchy!
WhatTheHeck: Better get his wife to do it; she looks good in a goofy hat. Niko would just look short and goofy. http://www.celebwelove.com/Carla_Bruni/carla_bruni1.jpg
Cape Clod: Mos def. He’s really as a great comedic actor, even in his few brief scenes in Brazil.
Bypartizoa: That’s because he’s a bone apart.
sad tortoise: Don’t call them ‘elves’ they’ll get bummed, try ‘munchkins.’
British propaganda depicted Napoleon as much smaller than average height and this image persists. Confusion about his height also results from the difference between the French pouce and British inch—2.71 and 2.54 cm respectively; he was 1.7 metres (5 ft 7 in) tall, average height for the period, sometimes quoted as 1.68 metres (5 ft 6 in).
Wikipedia confirms that I’m of average height (for the early 1800s). Sarkozy on the other hand is just plain short.
norbizness: “Pardon, what are these feet and inches?”
Well, back when we were our grandparents, Hungarian immigrants in the US were referred to as bohunks or hunkies. Being hunky is not a bad thing anymore, is it? Sarkoma should focus on that instead…
I say, if you’re going to be sensitive, forget the Proustian introspection and be notorious — gives it some hip-hop panache (Brown’s a dork and Obama is cool — but I’d rather be Nick at night).
V572625694: And Charles De Gaulle? Six-feet-fuckin-5″.
That’s is what’s really eating Sarkozy.
Next time, Nicky, you can just stand on our President’s dick. You’re small, he won’t notice.
As the international leader of ‘the Smalls’, he should display his hieght with dignity.
Lascauxcaveman: Don’t forget that Jaques Chirac (the guy before him) was also plenty tall. BTW, Sarko is lucky if he’s a legitimate 5′4″ which is the same for Russia’s current and former president.