Wonkette
If there’s a single winner tonight, it’s the photo to your left. The fact that one can type “old-timey doctor” into something called “Google Images” and produce THIS… what a great country. No. What a great Internet. None of this is true. But we digress! Health care speech: Obama started a full 900 million seconds late, so let’s listen to the second and third paragraphs of his speech hmm? (Part I, Part II)
8:30 — Obama is revealing HIS PLAN tonight, which has three (3) components, which are probably the top three components in every fucking bill out there already.
8:31 — Restrictions on health insurers denying/dropping/capping your coverage. Yes. This one again. Everybody loves this one!
8:32 — For the homeless fags who do not get coverage through employers: GET JOBS. No. Insurance exchange for individuals and small businesses. Incentives and cwompetitions and pwofit incentives and cwapitalism!
8:33 — Any insurer who wants to get on the insurance exchange has to drink vodka from a contractor’s ass.
8:35 — Obama: You know who else loves insurance exchanges? JOHN MCCAIN DOES! Right there… right… wait, where is… there, THAT ONE, John McCain, he loves this shit.
8:36 — If you own a small business and you’re like… really poor… like you eat NITROGEN for dinner, that’s how poor you are… you can get some exemption for health care, but you must wear this Poorness Shame sewn onto your scarf, for eternity.
8:37 — Republicans cackle like Satanic space armadillos when Obama says certain details need working out.
8:38 — Obama says EAT SHIT AND DIE SARAH PALIN, essentially. (He says death panels are false.) (It was awesome.) (Not necessarily advisable?)
8:38 — HAHAHAHA, this is where America stands, right now. We are at the level of a Presidential Address to Congress, and still there is one dingbat shouting “LIAR” over fairly uncontroversial policy proposals. That was so awkward. Who does that? Joint Address? To Congress? Shouting at the black president? Man.
8:40 — “I have no interest in putting insurance companies out of business.” *Again*, a single wingnut chuckles loudly to himself from the darkest corner of the room.
8:42 — I want a public option to keep the health insurers “honest.” BUT BUT BUT trust me, it will be like… the shittiest plan… no one will even be able to sign up… STOP YELLING AT ME, LONE WINGNUT.
8:44 — A bunch of Republican dorks in the back are holding up little paper booklets whenever the dandies start cheering. They are SAT study guides. “Obama, complete these analogies! They are so hard.”
8:47 — “I will pay for shit, unlike you people, who did not pay for various wars and corporate giveaways, ever.” Republicans make some weird sound in response. MEHHHGNNGNNGNG.
8:48 — ERIC CANTOR IS SEXTING!
8:49 — Seniors, I want to talk directly to you: feed me your GLAAAAANDSSSS…
8:50 — Some lady’s dress is an actual 25-square-foot blue flower, wrapped around her. It is vulgar.
8:51 — Joe Biden is masturbating.
8:51 — Nancy Pelosi is masturbating to Joe Biden masturbating.
8:52 — No one is masturbating.
8:52 — Medicare Medicare, I will save Medicare, blah blah, it is the best program since the golden days of bacon.
8:53 — Alright Republicans, do you want fucking tort reform or not? DO YOU? Sebelius, give these losers some tort reform, on the jiffy! Now will you Republicans stop being INSANE if you get your precious medical malpractice caps?
8:54 — If we cut medical costs by .0000000000000000000001%, for one day, for 30 seconds, it will save the American economy a whole $32 trillion dollars.
8:56 — We cannot let people die. Speaking of death, TED KENNEDY TED KENNEDY TED KENNEDY TED KENNEDY TED KENNEDY TED KENNEDY TED KENNEDY.
8:58 — Ted Kennedy. He died. Anyone who doesn’t vote for my bill will be charged with murder.
8:57 — Hey, there’s a Kennedy, up there in the balcony! There’s a couple more! Look at all of those Kennedys in town for the fancy speech. Why do you hate them and their dead lion father, Republicans?
9:00 — Hey, Orrin Hatch and John McCain, you guys were famously gay for Ted Kennedy. Why are you not gay for this bill that he loved so much, before he DIED?
9:01 — Our predecessors had to deal with charges of socialism, too. But they fought through it, battled in the trenches, and look at the Historical changes they were able to produce: various subsidies and tax credits.
9:02 — “I still believe that we can do grea–” WILL YOU SHUTUP YOU LONE WINGNUT SHOUTING AT THE PRESIDENT?
9:03 — OVER.
9:03 — Well that wasn’t so bad. How would we even know? We were just typing the whole time. The end of the speech seemed rather good, though. Secret death letters from Ted Kennedy! Of course all of the news will just be about the obnoxious wingnut shouting. He will have a goddamned show on Fox News by Saturday.
Juli will be liveblogging the Republican loser’s– OH GOD he is starting right now, what a jerk, Juli’s liveblog is riiiiiight HERE.
And you know how much Americans love to shop for things, Barry!
Exchange, oh noes
And what kind of insurance does Wonkette offer?
SELLOUT.
Wait, what’s the drinking game, Jim?
By the time I have a pubic option, I will be on Medicare or dead.
So do I get a personal doctor who follows me around everywhere, like Hopey?
Public option for the poors yey!
Walnutage
I’ll take that low-cost insurance-Thanks, Sen. McCain!
Aaaw, that old man just gave Barry the thumbs up!
John McCain gave him the John McCain thumbs up, clearly President Obama wins and gets to take Sarah Palin as his second wife, Bristol Palin as his third wife, and Piper Palin as his fourth wife, because he is a Muslim.
Shout-out to John McCain — holy crap, that’s gotta be worth a tab of acid.
Goddamit, I missed McCain’s good idea which would probably just piss me off, anyway.
EVERYONE WILL BE REQUIRED TO CARRY INSURANCE!! COMMMUNIST!!!!! PINKO!!!!
Oops, I let my auto insurance lapse.
are cops going to pull me over as I walk down the street and ask me to whip out my insurance card?
DustBowlBlues: When you are old enough for medicare- forget the pubic option.
REQUIRING you to carry something you have to pay out the ASS for isn’t really solving the problem.
Sigh. Yeah, just as I expected. Disappointment.
Hence the alcohol at my side.
Hey, look, it’s WALNUTS! Thumbs up back atcha, ya trollop!
Will I still have to whore as an independent contractor?
“Everybody does their part” is code-talk for COMMNISTTSTST!!!
Attempt at bipartisan humor FAIL.
So it’s a public option. Just worded differently.
Whew.
That wasn’t a laugh line, idiots.
Now I know why Michelle looks sick, she knows the man she kissed last night just gave a blow job to John McCain.
“… health insurers denying/dropping/capping your coverage.”
But how will tey makes de money?
Nice laugh track. What is this, the “Vita-meata-vege-min” episode of I Love Lucy?
Oh, great, 11 or 12 companies will have to provide health insurance. Who decides what’s affordable and what’s acceptable? Taibi has me scared shitless of this.
Twenty or thirty key members applaud the bogus claims.
wait, wtf is an insurance exchange?
Let me add, that Glenn Beck is a lunatic.
chascates: Wonk Cross / Wonk Shield
Yes! Death Panels mentioned!
woooo go barry. tell those motherfuckers to go fuck off and die.
SayItWithWookies:
Right after the rethug speak “tax credits” mmmmmmm.
ole joe looks constipated, does his plan not cover the METAMUCIL?
Help bring the Medicare olds along…GRASSLEY WILL BE THE FIRST DEATH PANELIST!
Yahoo! Death Panels are True!
Birth certificate! oh, death panels instead
I’m sorry, I missed the beginning, did they start with The Internationale, or did they just jump into a death panel and kill Senator Grassley.
Liars! Liars! Go bammy! Go bammy! Yeah, sit there on your hands, rethug motherfuckers.
Finally, the good part. Oh SNAP!
Those white men weren’t clapping!
Oh no, the death panels are out.
*pan to awkward republicans* hahaha!!!
liz: DRINK!
~
Death panelz for olds and eelegals!!!
wtf just happened???
Get ‘em Barry! Fuck ‘em up!
WHOA–who he callin’ a LIAR!
BOOOOH!
lie!
LOL that shot of the smug white dudes looks like a Duvall look-a-like convention.
what the fuck. classy.
if you got what you expected, is it still disappointment?
Time for a drink..insure illegal immigrants
Are there some fucking illegal immigrants who got elected to Congress and feel the need to boo?
Thank god they’re not gonna kill grandma.
Lou Dobbs is a big fat booooer
Children!
SOMEONE JUST CALLED THE PRESIDENT A LIAR
TO MEXICO WITH YOU
Am I allowed to drink for “panels set up by bureaucrats to kill ….” eh I forgot it halfway through?
Who said LIE? FUCKKKKKKKK YOOOOOOOOOOOOU!
Listen to the nuts wailing about teh illegalz.
“What Bill?” WTF?
oh my god. the rabble rethugs is booing. W.T.F.??
John McCain hates torture, so clearly he is a well known Communist.
Sergeant-at-Arms! Remove that man!
Sweet, people booed! Just like Parliament!
I hope children aren’t watching this law makin’ and bill passin’ goryness. This would be a good job for Mike Rowe.
Oh damn, they let yahoos in to jeer. See what I mean!
The Republicans sit on their hands when he says death panels are a lie.
Yay! Clap for the lie!
Excuse me, who the fuck was that? Bring him forward to Barry to be Unicorn-raped.
Fuck. I had to pee. Who did the camera go to when he talked about the Death Panels?
What did the sign say?
wow, are they actually trying to bait barry into responding?
I will turn this speech around right now and go home if you don’t STFU!
Wow, it has turned into question time, damn the Brits!
Why can’t this insurance fund abortions? Why not? What a load of crap. Bet it covers viagra and fertility treatments.
Guiding principles? I didn’t vote for that.
omgomomg nancy pelosi is forming a death panel hitlist RIGHT NOW, if you can see her sifting papers behind nobama
I’d be happy to serve on a death panel for Senator Grassley.
~
Ohhhhhhhh, someone’s gonna end up at the bottom of the Potomac tonight
So wait, we’re not killing off olds after all?
That was a shoddily made sign, to say the least.
Yay-yuh! Alabama in the hizzie!
Alabama is barely in the 20th century.
Sicks!! He said “Sicks!” He IS watching us. HI BARRY!!!!!1!11!!!!!!!!!!!
I almost just shat myself when that dude yelled out and Obama gave him the “angry dad” look.
What he didn’t mention is that the 1 company providing insurance in Alabama apparently doesn’t offer a dental plan.
Who’s the douche that hollered out? I thought Pelosi was going to blow a gasket.
Monsieur Grumpe: It said “What Bill?”.
They provide illegitimate service. I love insurance
Accountability = DEATH PANEL!
“I have no interest in putting insurance companies out of business?”
Me haz a sad. Not change I can believe in.
Monsieur Grumpe: It looked like it said “WHAT BILL?” in all caps, like a truther or a birther. I shall rewind the speech later to investigate.
Oh my God. Now he’s set on “relentless profit expectations.” That can’t be. Corporations runs this country, or didn’t you get the memo, Barry?
Quit screwing people, you insurers!
Alabama has “Burning Cross -Bloody Shield” insurance.
Hey Hopey, greed is a ‘bad’ thing.
Who’s the fucker who said, “It’s a lie”?
It’s getting hot in there. They better turn the air conditioner in that building from “Well Digger’s Bum” all the way up to “Witches Teat.”
Geeze, the backtalk is beginning to sound like the House of Commons. Will the gentleman show us his birf sirtificut?
Public option bitches!
Hold them accountable…and the chamber does the “wave”!
Sarah Palin got p0wn’d!
PUBLIC OPTION, FTW.
Public option! Public option! Public option! Public option! Public option! Public option! Public option! Public option! Public option!
public option in the HIZZOUSE!
finally a mention of the public plan.
suck that, motherfuckers. suck it long and suck it hard.
Lazylaces: what did it say-I am listening totally but looking occasionally
Stay with public option Hopey……..Stay with it.
PUBLIC OPTION!!! TAKE A SHOT..GIVE A SHOT…
I love how no Republicans are standing up. It’s so schoolyard.
Way-hay, public option man is for public option.
8:38–when the prez called out the lie, why did’t CNN zoom right in on Michelle Bach-zilla (Nutjob-MN)?
Why does CNN Hate America?
Finally, the “insurance companies are pricks” part!
Nancy’s forehead is a Death Panel.
Pelosi was SCANDALIZED by the booing!
Self sufficient= Value Added Tax
man, this is vintage barry.
dude, where the fuck have you been? we’ve missed you this last interminable four, eight, 43 weeks.
blinky_twinkie: Probably Joe Barton of Texas.
Hopey’s hitting it out of the park, boy some of those repubs look dumb!
Does this mean they’ll commit mass-suicide now?
Glad to see Lindsay Graham wore his gayface this evening
That’s a public option? … mkay.
Who’s the youngish douche sitting next to Walnuts? DOUCHE!
I love it when ‘Pubs are forced to stand — like when Dems had to stand as Bush emitted nationalist war tripe at these things…
I have an interest in putting the insurance companies out of business! This is not change I can believe in! Oh wait, public universities and private universities, co-existing. Okay, maybe I can live with this.
You almost clapped for the public option, Lindsey Graham. I saw you. You almost clapped.
The college / university analogy was a good one. Everyone loves public universities.
So let me get this straight. The unemployed get access to something that is basically insurance that charges only for administrative but not profit of any kind?
Yeah, the insurance companies are fucking going under.
Visual evidence is conclusive: Old white men seem to overwhelmingly refuse to stand whenever the president suggests that corporations stop fucking the middle class. Maybe they have creaky bones that need to be oiled with the blood of the uninsured.
Public colleges and universities? Holy crap, the socialists are everywhere. I’d completely forgotten about those when saying we should eliminate public roads, fire departments and Medicaid.
Nancy, try to look less like a grimacing yet giddy cheerleader back there.
Jesus Christ does Hillary stand out. (I like it.)
Did he just jizz acid in progressives’ and Republicans’ eyes? I THINK HE DID.
“Republican friends”- oh, Hopey, don’t go there!!!
My Republican friends, all one of you,….
“To my Republican ‘friends,’ stop being dickwads, mmkay?”
WadISay: Exactly what I was thinking. All that was missing were the planted questions.
wtf are they holding up?
what are those MORANS holding up in the back? is that the public option?
So everyone just legislate nice, okay? or I will have to put you in death camps.
WHAT BILL?
Deez balls- I mean bills.
What the fuck did all those douchebags just hold up?
What the hell are those idiots waving?
FUCKING a, he will not back down, get it bitches!
To my Republican friends: I’m the adult in the room, and you are the toddlers I will spank.
was that ferret-face!?
“won’t back down” from a gov choice! that’s IT, right? We’re good now?
doxastic: Standing up to support a black muslim socialist will not get them any votes.
“…cackle like Satanic space armadillos…”
Awesome.
Shouldn’t Charlie Rangel be in jail?? For everything??
Is Obama gonna pull out his Hillarycare card now?
Do not explore co-ops & crapola triggers. That is what August was for. Exploring over Lewis & Clark. Hammer time.
groove: Admittedly, in Alabama, you only need one insurance company, because there is only one doctor and 5000 old hillbilly women providing the health care down there.
The
republics look like such a bunch of whiners. Suck on it, Repubs.
GOPer .PDFbaggers! Hold up your paperz!
Papieren, BITTE! MACH SCHNELL, SCHWEINHUNDS!
Oh, God. I just saw Joe Barton. Now I need a drink.
Is it somehow a unwritten rule that the minority party gets the noseebleed seats? It seems like the non-applausers, to a man (and they ARE pretty much all men), are several rows back.
And fat. And white. But I said “the minority party,” so . . . six of one, half dozen, blahblah.
doxastic: no, it’s the ten tons of insurance lobbying cash weighing them down.
Yet everyone thinks public universities are actually “public” in funding. Ha ha ha! More like 20% public, 80% sucking up to whoever in town has the $$$. Plus, in some cases, a semi-pro football or basketball team as a side venture.
But seriously guys, go watch the US Open tennis.
Not just one dime, but many motherfucking dimes!
lampadadog: graham thought it was “pubic option” and he though that it involved sitting on john mccain’s lap and grinding on his brittle pelvic bone.
Are You Ready for some football?
SayItWithWookies: Public universities- U of MD costs more than some private colleges.
Boner clapped!
Spending cuts in what, may I ask?
Oooh…swipe at W. Nice!
SLAP THAT BITCH!!!
Spending cuts, Wow, goodbye department of Education
FOX is going to report that there were people booing during this address.
That’s pretty much their whole story on it.
omg! the fucker who yelled “lie” is totally at the top of the death panel list now. who the hell was that? no wonder children aren’t allowed to watch Obama’s speeches . . . they will learn bad manners from the idiot adults.
OK - WSJ: Karl Rove opinion released before end of speech:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203440104574402882066261774.html
Oh he didn’t tell them Iraq wasn’t paid for, did he. He did.
Take THAT, you damned free-spending Republicans!
loquaciousmusic: That’s a call to sexytine in Oklahoma.
I swear to god, Dixie Jew is twatting.
oh those republicans… this is great… is Cantor watching Britney on his iphone?
Yes, time to shit on Bush again! Boehner looks like he’s about to vomit.
In the bureaucrats applause line, republicans were seriously trying to sit down in support of insurance bureaucrats standing between you and your doctor.
Boenher’s drunk
I’m listening to this on the radio so I don’t have to watch and get mad at the Repubtards’ not standing, etc. Sounds like a good choice on my part.
I sometimes wonder if whatshisface, the dark one, ever gets tired of drinking everyone’s milkshakes.
What the F? We have to pay for the Iraq war? Hell, has everyone forgot, we actually have weapons of mass destruction.
I’m really out of sorts right now. The left side of the chamber standing up and cheering while the right sits…. this hasn’t happened since Kang won the Presidency in 96
“seniors… umm… you’ve had a good run, you guys… “
Seniors, he’s speaking directly to you. Turn up your teevees now!
The system is full of waste and abuse? I wonder what my cat’s cardiologist has to say about that.
Well if you’re going to speak to seniors, you better speak up.
Palpatine!
I love how the horsefucker from Virginia — you know, that alleged pretty-boy dude whose name I can’t remember because of the wine — is busy on his Crackberry when BHO talks about how 43 handed him a bowl of shit on Inauguration Day.
OH LOOK IT’S SHITFACE LIEBERMAN, SCOWLING FOR THE CAMERA!
. . . sorry, got distracted.
Did the entire chamber just applaud itself for letting Bush steamroll them over the last decade?
And Cantor is breaking his thumbs, twattering to his rabble…he’ll get them fixed after the Sarge-at-Arms breaks them off, on the taxpayer’s dime.
And Lieberman will get his Droopy Dog jowls repaired under the new public option, also.
Somebody woke up DiFi!
The bill better allow Republicans to keep banging health care lobbyists or it’ll never pass.
We will create a commission of foxes to guard the chickencoop.
Who the hell is dumb enough to pay for private college? bye bye insurance companies
Tox and Toxer are so mesmerizing.
Boner was SOOOO mad
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Grannie’s tonic. FTW!
No one is going to take your Medicare you greedy old people who have already gotten more back in social security than you’ve paid in because Medicare has kept you alive so long.
How can any sane logical person oppose anything that the big O has said so far tonight? No wonder the wingnuts don’t want their impressionable children to hear anything Hopey has to say.
The Republican side looks like the World’s Angriest Garden Club right now.
“I want to speak directly to seniors…”
Got enough of ‘em in the room!
Who’s that light skinned black guy talking at the podium?
Oh, on fire about Medicare. The Republics are hating this. Will this give Baucus a spinal transplant?
Say something about TEDDY!!!!
SHOT, BONG HIT, BEER CHASER!!!
The reaction shots make this more entertaining than I could ever have imagined.
Uncommon Nonsense: Neil Horsely.
Easy name to remember
chascates: “maaaaatlock!!!!”
Capture the flag: the old-folk-baiting banner of Medicare is SEIZED back! But will they make it back to base in time?
Please do not let Joe speak.
SayItWithWookies: I think they are copies of the Bible. Muslin freak out at that shit.
There’s Olympia Snow. Now, there’s a name. It either promised politician, actress or porn star.
I’d have hate-sex with Eric Cantor.
Saxby Chambliss is gonna walk out in a minute if this young colored feller doesn’t start showing some gol-dang humility.
LaurenLK: Totally hammered. Also.
Love it when they pan to that sea of white (the republican side).
Uncommon Nonsense: Cantor. He’s voting no anyway, regardless of what the bill is.
boner’s face is getting oranger and oranger. soon he’ll be magenta and rupture. i hope it’s soon.
DustBowlBlues: Ge’s passing on his insights to his buddy who’s giving the healthcare industry rebuttal.
SayItWithWookies: He would be in agreement with my dog’s opthamologist.
fuck your damage caps, fuckos, its like 1% of costs you idiots.
Hah, the Refucklicunt pissants stand up and applaud even a passing REFERENCE to their bullshit “tort reform” garbage.
torty tort tort.
those fucking assholes can’t even wipe the smug prick looks off their faces while they applaud.
Barry finally got the old men to clap. He must’ve promised them free Metimucil.
ladymacbeth: did you see him in cincinnati on labor day? he was warming up for tonight’s game (which i’m not actually watching as it takess all my cranial capacity just to keep up with you people).
DustBowlBlues: He’s passing on his insights to his buddy who’s giving the healthcare industry rebuttal.
YAY! Fuck the trial lawyers!
No tort reform.
Could the Republicans look like bigger douches, when they sit there on their hands, not clapping for Barry? GAH. Shove those booklets up your clenched asses, you angry old white bastids!
Did he just throw Republicans a bone? Fun!
Rethugs: Clapping for money for health insurance, sitting down and frowning for poor sicks.
Oh my God. They just showed Aaron Shock. Rewind. Masturbate. Rewind again. Listen to speech.
Trial lawyers wept. CAPS (and not for John Edward’s teefers, either)…
Defensive medicine= Kill you before you can take my Porsche away
Use Oklahoma for tort reform experiment. Nobody ever wins around here, anyway. Plus, we’ve got killer tort reform so the docs are free to kill us.
Why is it that every time I see Boehner’s orange face I feel the need to scream “FUCK YOU” at my teevee? This anger can’t be healthy.
Hey, Republicans — the flip side of tort reform is very heavy regulation. Unless you want the healthcare companies to take everything they want without any obligation to deliver anything like healthcare. Oh, ha ha — nevermind.
Whoa. He just said W. had a good idea. I think the Freepers are all gonna stroke out on that.
Rethuglicans just got called out!
THEY fucked us, not BHO.
Oh noes, the prez is gonna take away the ability to sue my doctor. WTF? I don’t like the cut of his jib, or the sponge he left in my ass….
This is shaping up to end in a brawl. I bet Pelosi pokes someone’s eye out.
SayItWithWookies: Their Walmart coupons.
MzNicky: That man manages to look smug no matter what the president is talking about. I think when you have a name like boner, it’s unavoidable.
Spending money badly: tatoos and weed?
Rahm’s body guard is going to crush that lone wingnut and the other hecklers
This reminds me of why I could never be a politician. I hate people who disagree with me so much.
Actually, I just hate people, period.
Oh, here comes the “somebody has to be the daddy” part.
Not to get too personal, but how long is your “long-term”?
he wants Congressmen to totes sleep over in the Lincoln bedroom.
Anyone think Pelosi saw Hillz walk in and said to herself, “that fucking BITCH!” ??
Holy shit. He’s on fire!
It’s getting a little Taiwainese Parliamenty in there. Somebody’s gonna throw down. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
My door is always open, and I am packin heat you motherfuckers! So knock!
“My door is always open.” Although Rahm is standing in front of it with a meat cleaver.
Keep holding it up….
you’ll just get tired.
OBAMA WILL CALL YOU OUT MUTHAFUCKA
HOPEY DON’T PLAY DAT.
Why do the Republican’s keep holding up their racing forms?
Or is this one of their “Plans” that consist of no real ideas, ones that have been shown to not work, and has no budgetary numbers in it?
Everyone in this room has better healthcare than anyone else in America.
Call out list: Grassley, Nelson, Snowe, Baucus, Gang of Hicks
I can’t wait to hear what Ed Rollins has to say about this.
Oh, shit. I’m about to go to Glee. Got to go run to another room and back to computer. Life is hard.
Call you out! Is there an America’s most wanted legislator?
OH TEDDY’S BACK!!!!!!
TED KENNEDY!
Ted … Drink
Kennedy storytime.
Oldskool: Anchorman style
KENNEDY DRINK!
Ah, yes, and the invoking of Ted Kennedy at last!
He said Ted Kennedy! DRINK MOTHERFUCKERS!
He’s playing the Kennedy card!!
sad Muppet face for Ted Kennedy from Biden.
TEDDDDDDDYYYY!
Boener dropped his beer can!
Awww Vicky. *sniff*
Teddy Kennedy!
Docs pay less for malpractice insurance than they pay for the privilege of accepting our VISA cards. Fuck tort reform.
YAY TEDDY!!
Spoken like your iron-fisted abuelita: “Know this: I will not waste my time!” He should have brandished a bar of soap while addressing those who “misrepresent” the contents of the bill.
He finally pulled the Teddy Card. You knew it was coming.
hammer this shit home, barry. MAKE EVERYONE CRY. i wanna find out if boehner cries tears of sweet tropicana.
Is Joe Biden crying??
chascates:
Thank you.
MarSF: It’s all that bile backing up.
What a sea of seated white irrelevant old fucks. Fuck them.
Barry: “Oh, look, I have testicles! How about the rest of you Dems?”
Michelle just took Vicki’s hand. That’s incredible. I love these people.
‘tort’ issues are approximately .05% of current health care spending.
where are the pictures of joe masterbating hhnngggghhh????
Barry is literally digging up Ted Kennedy’s corpse and using it for Politics. David Denby does not approve.
Oh, great. Save the Dead Kennedy card for last. This is why I fell in love with Hopey in the first place!!!!
Letter from Ted Kennedy. Drink.
What Republicans don’t realize is that Angry Barry is the hottest Barry. Being dipshits only makes him stronger.
Ted Kennedy….shot of single malt for the missing Irishman! I hope he is listening.
Can’t wait to see princess Boutananny’s GOOPer response.
awww. look at joe crying. i love him.
Orrin Hatch and Olympia Snowe, lookin pretty cozy there. Wooo!
Win one for the gipper.
spraklepeapooh:
I know me too.
I love it when Barry gets feisty.
CHUCK GRASSLEY CALLED OUT!!!!1
Damn, I wonder if they can get Lord Backass out of his hidey hole to be the next one to speak. Humiliating Hatch, McCain, Grassley, why did he leave out Baucus and Snowe?
oh man, he’s going to get personal on Hatch, Grassley and McC. They’re going to start weeping.
Of course, this speech is a bit of a disapointment, as he could have simply cured us all of our diseases by taking off his clothes and revealing his true self to us.
I have written the White House several times asking for him to do this, but, still, they refuse to allow him to use his powers.
Wow, Obama calling out Grassley and McCain.
Just dare to vote against this thing now, you assholes.
Ted Kennedy’s personal story..
Two drinks!
But “rigid” ideology is the best kind!
“Dear Brack, I’m neerly ded but anyway hope u get the helth care thing passed, fuck de Reps. Tell them I sed any ol shit that convinses them. Mus go drink moer wiskey now. Luv, Teddy K.”
Wow CSPAN had a spider on the lens
spraklepeapooh: pelosi’s crying, too.
“To some, his passion for univesal healthcare was nothing more than a passion for big government.” That’s the point I’m most happy about him saying.
Oh hi Orrin — nice song. Now if you really want to honor your friend…
You know who could’ve used some health care? Mary J… ah fuckit.
Hey, wait, on that cut away, were the Kennedy sons sober? How dare they trash their father’s legacy.
doxastic: No doubt. I’m getting a little drippy over here myself.
If Vicki Kennedy’s huge pearls are real, I’ll spit.
wow, he’s playing the guilt card! throwing back in our faces our rugged individualism!
shit, I don’t think he could do better than this, tweety and olbermann must be hyperventilating
Edywin:
I was weirdly at the Kennedy compound the day he died. I’ll never forget that for the rest of my life, drink for my Irish compadre.
Barry is owning the end of this speech. PWNED, bitches.
Obama sounds like Cotton Mather. This is trippy.
you wonketties are great. i can’t wait to see the viddy on replay tomorrow. the wife is calling now, she’s says supper’s ready and if i don’t get my ass to the table pronto, i can fucking eat the public option and see how well it goes down with the water in the front gutter.
just remember — swiss cheese has holes, but it’s mighty tasty.
Uncommon Nonsense: Oh, you could easily be a Repug. Them’s some peeple-hatin’ mofos there.
Did you notice how the Republicans all perked up when he mentioned the vulnerable being attacked?
Who is going to follow up hopey? Last time we had Mr. Rogers retarded cousin. I am hoping for Elmo’s crack addicted uncle to follow this up.
oh man he saved the good stuff for act 3.
“civil conversations” am UnMrrrrukan
jagorev: LOL
Yay, Kennedy time. So do I drink a bottle of single malt for the Ted Kennedy mention or…? I missed the drinking game rules.
Oldskool: I’d like to see Pelosi poke Steny Hoyer’s eyes out. Fcukin’ DINO puke.
~
Is Kerry seriously bored? Oh the temerity of that long winded doofus!
Great way to close, bring people together. Call out the nuts. Appeal to us as Americans.
Well John Kerry was just not pleased about THINGS just now, no he was not!
Hopey is back and my pudenda is his again
this year, it’ll happen.
Obviously, Republicans fear the future.
We did not come here to fear the future, we came here to fear the present!
Shape it, Shape it goood….you can shape it
“We did not come here to fear the future, we came here to shape it.” I was waiting for a catch phrase. Yeah!
someone tell boehner what “acrimony” is.
“We did not come here to fear the future — we came here to shape it.” OH yeah. I still believe we can act when it’s hard too.
Sigh, what a nice guy.
God, how much more pissy can the Republicans be? Their asses are tingling from never standing up.
Downtheroadapiece: Uh, that was a few posts back…
Fought Indian’s, Fought Locust’s Fought Dicks!!
it’s over?
and no one died?
republicans will not stand for the future, they will stop time by staying seated
I want the alien from “Mars Attacks!” to appear and zap the f*** out of the seated white Republitards. Is that so wrong? They’d still have their health care, after all.
Replace acrimony with civility..would that be sacrimony?
And now the Republican response form Dick Cheney: “Go fuck yourself.”
And now let’s hear from a little known Louisiana cracker to try to throw some shit around.
we did not come here to fear the future. I love this man.
T-thyme: Touche.
I-man: Some birther from Louisiana, who is retarded but inexplicably a cardiothorasic surgeon.
now MSMBC will fap to the replay.
sounds like keith is getting a tingle up his leg!
Not his most rousing speech — it could’ve used a little more gospel inflection like from his campaign speeches. But solid, detailed and rousing nonetheless.
Kissed a Catholic priest on his way out?
Awesome! I love when he brings it right to these fuckfaces and tells them where they can stick it.
He still believes. Big fan of The Call, is he?
Everyone is checking their own assholes, I think everybody got ripped!
He had his foot on their throat and let em off with a spanking.
Dana “King’s Thing” Bash: we’ll call out “YOU LIE” shouter…WHEEE!
Maddow roxorz my boxorz
I think it’s cute that his Secret Service dude is Mr. Whipple.
I-man: Louisianna Representative Doctor Lord Bootay.
its time for the comedy act from Louisiana again
Boustany’s on
The Strom Thurmond room? Yikes.
Big deal. Ron Paul is a doctor too.
still sober, no way I’m going to listen to that old white guy now
This guy sounds like Wilford Brimley crossed with Bobby Jindal.
ella: They can’t let the Pharma and Insurance Industry gizzum ooze out of their eye-patch underwear. They must not stand up!
House copies of the Republican healthcare bill. Ha. You really want death panels? Neglect is the best death panel ever.
Been ready? You lying sack of shit.
They have to work on oral presentation (or maybe literacy?) in Louisiana.
“We did not come here to fear the turtle - we came here to put it back right-side up.”
When is the Republic on? I’m dealing with whiney husband while I use both teevees. Better let him surf porn in a few minutes.
The Rethugs chose Elmer Fudd to deliver the response?
Okay, we’re :30 seconds in, and I don’t hate this Boustany guy yet…
Shhh! you guys, Republican response is on. As a Republican does he really want to go down the fiscal responsibility path?
Great, another Southern dipshit to do the “response.” Way to show you’re in touch with Modern Amerika (TM), Repugs.
Boustany’s looking a little stiff. Call in the death panel.
And it’s the rebutt!
What’s wrong with showing that speech to school children? I don’t get that controversy.
oh man, Bootynanny’s not winning on charisma.
“I’m a senator. And a heart surgeon” Okay, Orly Taintz.
what speech was Princess Charles watching?
Now a lecture from your friendly insurance conglomerate.
No, it is not time to start over. To hell with your bipartisonship. And he didn’t say government-run.
It ain’t over until Bachman slips him tongue!
Ha, doesn’t it seem like this wad is not even responding to what Preznit said? Oh, that’s because he ISN’T. Feel stupid writing your speech ahead of time, wrinkly forehead man.
john boeners makeup artist does the good doctor’s orange glow
Replug heart cutter response…can’t afford? Cut the defense budget just a carrier or two; a major weapon system or two…there is your munniez, bitch.
this
guy
talks
like
this
it’s
annoying
Hah hah the Republitard response is from the Strom Thurmond Room. A reminder of what they *really* stand for.
Leverage is on. Beats the retarded heart surgeon.
I’ll sleep well tonight- my Hopey is back!
Bootsanny didn’t listen to the speech. He just said those with insurance won’t like the government run plan. FAIL.
Poor Lord Bousty is shaking. But he’s a HEART SURGEON according to the MSNBC crawl.
****GO HERE FOR THIS PENIS-HEAD’S REPUBLICAN RESPONSE****
http://wonkette.com/410986/liveblogging-the-republicans-trying-to-stop-obama-from-turning-on-the-robots-that-will-pry-medicare-from-seniors-cold-dead-hands
The GOP is the biggest problem with the health care debate.
Ah, Boustany — the usual pack of crap.
“we didn’t come here to fear the future we came here to shape it” don’t stand or applaud if you just came here to fear it, or if you’re a pussy. Carry on.
Chuck Boustany must have a long tongue, because he’s tripping over it.
He looks a little chubby to be pushing that “make healthier choices” line.
These after speeches are always incredibly bad, but this guy made reach the high standard of Fail that Piyush reached.
Pat Pending: lol that was my first thought when he said that.
TJBeck: Yep, “another Jindal speech” I sed to the old man…
doxastic: yes yes.
I hope we all realize that the “you lie!” shouter was someone who voluntarily goes by the monicker of “Faggy Joe Wilson”, in South Carolina no less.
Lest you think I’m kidding: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Wilson_%28U.S._politician%29
Lionel Hutz Esq.: naked Barry X? Oh yes please.
I think those dudes jumping up to wave papers in the back thought it was an auction.
And nice of the Rs to tap a guy with a speech impediment to do the Official Response. What a disaster. Bobby J rejoices: Another R 2012 candidate bites the dust.
Limeylizzie: I would have my tubes untied to bear his children, if I had ever had my tubes tied instead of going through menopause and now being infertile, and old, but you know what i mean.
Oral gratification for a week to whomever can name w/ proof the Honky who heckled Barry. Let’s make his life hell everyone, HMMMMMM?
ella: Well hell, I should HOPE they’re real! Jaysus.
I’m watching on the radio, was Barry wearing a flag-pin?
How about Poonanny?
DustBowlBlues: Tell me about it. I had to take my cosmo and retreat to the study to avoid Mr. Glibertarian’s channel-changing. CSNMBC my ass.
SayItWithWookies: Is that what those retarded old white guys were waving around in their hands?
MzNicky: Why? Most of Jackie’s weren’t. (We know Pelosi’s aren’t!)
BTW, the yelling asshat was Joe Wilson.
In a perfect world , bombers would already be in the air to go vaporize Fort Sumpter, just to remind those inbreds in South Carolina what happened the last time they started shit with Washington. But I’m sure Rep.Joe Wilson will be the toast of his next Klan rally.
Holy shite. Some of JN’s most hateful, disgusting, live-blogging. WIN!
The Twitters are going nuts about it. He’s already a trending topic.
http://twitter.com/#search?q=%40congjoewilson
MzNicky: Yeah–now we know why “the world needs more baby Trigs”!
Hey, I know what we can do to get back at Joe Wilson, but nobody ever say that I told you this, okay? I hear his wife is a CIA operative! She probably fed him lines from Hopey’s speech in advance.
Hey Joe Wilson! Tu madre traga los penes de burros!
Everyone who is not an illegal should send Jumpin’ Jehosaphat Joe Wilson very too many flaming bags of poo covered dicks. Those who are illegal, you simply must stop working for his contributors.
So, THAT’s what a Gaydarscope looks like.
lampadadog:Side venture? Don’t you mean raison d’etre?
Has Joe Wilson’s House Web site always been down, or is that new?
“Editing of [Joseph Wilson's wiki entry] article by new or unregistered users is currently disabled due to vandalism.”
You damn kids.
Public Option was dead - but now it’s a FUCKING 200-FOOT-TALL RAPTOR-ZOMBIE, making GOP Senators reach for their boytoys & crystal-meth more desperately than ever … & somewhere tonight in America, Ex-Governor Sarah Palin is punching a hole in a motel wall & stomping on her crack-pipe.
MC Barack truly brought the hot lines out, kicking some ass & taking some names.
Reaction-shots were indeed delicious … I wouldn’t be surprised if Boehner isn’t probably already listening to The Cure in a room with black walls & cutting.
That is the funniest f***ing s*** I have ever read. I bow to your live-blogging skills.