HEROES OF THE BIRTHER MOVEMENT  11:59 am September 9, 2009

Congresslady Jean Schmidt Secretly Agrees With The Birthers, Except This One Time By Mistake She *Publicly* Agreed With The Birthers

by Juli Weiner


Everyone very warmly congratulate Jean Schmidt (R-OH), who has bravely and accidentally come out as a Birther. Lo! Observe as Jean Schmidt is accosted by a rabid blond female Birther wearing some kind of decorative traditional headdress of war. “Blah blah NOT dog whistle MY muslin president Hussein sdodfgifjsd states’ rights fake something Gerald Ford something something!” shrieks the Birther to Jean Schmidt, to which the latter replies: “I agree with you, but the courts don’t.” Jean Schmidt is finally embracing the real Jean Schmidt, and so should America. [Glenn Thrush]

 
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{ 76 comments }

Country Club Jihadi September 9, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Rep. Jean Schmidt: R-UH R-OH

rachelv September 9, 2009 at 12:09 pm

“American Grand Jury” is a fun birther site I stumbled on recently…. the latest Kenyan birth certificate has them jumping up and down like it’s Birther Christmas Eve.

“I studied that birth certificate more. Looks VERY authentic I would stake my life on it. This is the nail in the coffin for the anti-christ! WE ANTI-CHRIST… THIS TIME!”

http://americangrandjury.org/lucas-smith-affidavit-now-filed-with-the-us-district-court-obama-kenyan-bc

Norbert September 9, 2009 at 12:09 pm

Easy solution, Jean Schmidt, Republican of Ohio: appoint that lady to the courts, the one with the 9 dead ferrets bandaged onto her head.

rmontcal September 9, 2009 at 12:12 pm

I want to see everybody’s gift certificates!

V572625694 September 9, 2009 at 12:13 pm

What’s really great is the way Schmidt thinks that what she believes is more real than actual “reality.” The court looked at the evidence, said, “Get this shit out of here now, Barry’s as American as a hula skirt,” but Schmidt still believes what she chooses to believe. Isn’t that the definition of “insane”?

LittlePig September 9, 2009 at 12:16 pm

“Da, Comrade, and our plans to insert Nazi Marxist Muslim in White House would have worked, too, if not for meddling kids!”

memzilla September 9, 2009 at 12:16 pm

[re=405469]V572625694[/re]: Proof that there should be a higher qualification to run for office than just the ability to fog up a mirror.

aaronincus September 9, 2009 at 12:17 pm

… why does her staffer look like Schmidt? CLONE?!

Gopherit September 9, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Jesus christ, Schmidt is such a harpy. Just looking at her curdles the creamy goodness in my soul.

Where the fuck is your Muikan flag sweater Jean? You aren’t a real american without it.

Cicada September 9, 2009 at 12:20 pm

The courts are so mean! They are making that freaky birther lady almost hysterical. Don’t worry, freaky birther lady, Jean Schmidt is on your side! She’ll totally whisper her convictions in your ear while praying there isn’t a microphone in range.

Yay! The birthers have a new “hero”. And she’s exactly the kind of sneaky, spineless representative that they deserve.

Gopherit September 9, 2009 at 12:21 pm

[re=405475]aaronincus[/re]: are you technically a clone if you reproduce by parthenogenesis like other reptiles?

V572625694 September 9, 2009 at 12:21 pm

[re=405474]memzilla[/re]: How about the ability to boink lobbyists, and then shower legislative favors on their employers? That works for me.

commiegirl September 9, 2009 at 12:22 pm

I am having an odd yen for some Quaker Oats.

teebob2000 September 9, 2009 at 12:23 pm

I’d embrace her… in a fucking iron maiden.

AbstinenceOnly Ed September 9, 2009 at 12:24 pm

I got Schmidt all over my Jean.

finallyhappy September 9, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Wait, is that Ruth Gordon from Rosemary’s Baby?

RoscoePColtraine September 9, 2009 at 12:26 pm

Jean Schmidt, the insane whisperer.

SayItWithWookies September 9, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Jean’s still got a ways to go before she wrests the title of the Typhoid Mary of Stupid from the hideous clutches of Michele Bachmann — but it certainly can’t be said that she’s not representing her constituency.

user-of-owls September 9, 2009 at 12:28 pm

[re=405483]V572625694[/re]: “Shower” is an unfortunate choice of word given the context. Or maybe a deliberate one.

user-of-owls September 9, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Anyone here trying to cut back on the caloric intake?

Try to imagine what the air smelled like in the small space between the elected harpy and the unelected harpy.

That should help.

BklynIlluminati September 9, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Not a single damn one of them knows how to engage their brain before opening that thing they call their pie hole. It so stunning how Obama makes everyone show their true colors. He is like a bottle of vodka and college coed.

AnnieGetYourFun September 9, 2009 at 12:36 pm

[re=405502]BklynIlluminati[/re]: For me, Barry is a bottle of lube and a speedy internet connection, but yeah, true colors and all that.

Tommmcatt September 9, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Embracing Jean Schmidt would be like embracing a leather bag full of brittle, sharp, dinosaur bones.

thefrontpage September 9, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Jean Schmidt should go on Mark Foley’s radio show!

El Pinche September 9, 2009 at 12:44 pm

Gotta love those quivering, cry-baby racist fucks “He cant be our president by our constitution, save me the from that black man!! wahhh whahhh!”

And what’s with the old hags and their roundish pot bellied husbands? All these teabaggers look alike.

WadISay September 9, 2009 at 12:44 pm

Nice job by the little macaca with the camera.

gurukalehuru September 9, 2009 at 12:47 pm

I’ve got a question, does like every state have one congressional district that is just chock-full of retards? Because it sure is starting to look that way.

Snarkalicious September 9, 2009 at 12:48 pm

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freakishlystrong September 9, 2009 at 12:50 pm

I can’t get the utubez at work, but no need. I can hear the shrill and the crazy in my head all the time now. Fuck, didn’t we WIN? And if so, what the fuck DID we win?

suchsweetthunder September 9, 2009 at 12:52 pm

It’s a testament to Michelle Bachmann that we find ourselves speaking about Jean Schmidt so rarely.

Hedley Lamar September 9, 2009 at 12:52 pm

[re=405530]Snarkalicious[/re]: Looks like you’ve got a bad case of the clap.

BadKitty September 9, 2009 at 12:53 pm

[re=405528]gurukalehuru[/re]: Shhhh – those districts are being prepared to become the re-education camps. We’ve already started amassing all of the wingnuts by using some crazy ass representative as bait.

jodyleek September 9, 2009 at 12:55 pm

[re=405522]El Pinche[/re]:
If Obama would have just had the decency to be born white, then we wouldn’t have to expose our eyes to the likes of these Birther mutants. Why does Barry hate our retina?

Mr Blifil September 9, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Look, if that fucking wacko got in my face with her freak views about “the constitution” I’d tell her I agree with her too, before she pulls out the numchuks.

Min September 9, 2009 at 12:58 pm

Give that Congresswoman a sandwich, before a stiff wind blows her ass over teakettle.

WIDTAP September 9, 2009 at 12:58 pm

[re=405473]LittlePig[/re]: Niet, Comrade! Glorious plan foiled again by Moose and Squirrel.

tamiflu September 9, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Junior September 9, 2009 at 1:04 pm

Why does this birth certificate thing have such resonance with the crazies? I would think that 40,000 crazy people would have at least 20,000 things to be crazy about, but they all have seized on this birth certificate. Who keeps harping on this? Weekly World News and who else?

The Station Manager September 9, 2009 at 1:09 pm

[re=405562]tamiflu[/re]: Get the fuck out, what with the spam and all. This is a holy place, and it can not be defiled by your pills which engorge our members.

Cape Clod September 9, 2009 at 1:09 pm

“Harcourt Fenton Mudd, what have you been up to?”

yargisbargis September 9, 2009 at 1:09 pm

[re=405528]gurukalehuru[/re]: Shhhh. What Bad Kitty doesn’t know is they’re not reeducation camps, they’re holding centers for the death panels.

Fox n Fiends September 9, 2009 at 1:11 pm

Did you listen to that tardo propaganda machine talking in the background? “cutting the taxes in the state of Ohio…getting the regulators under control…” its like nobody learned a fucking thing from the Reagan/Bush/Bush economic disasters.

queeraselvis v 2.0 September 9, 2009 at 1:11 pm

Y’know, what with the raccoon-esque mascara and pinched look of someone who’s evidently skipped their monthly Drano colonic, Schmidt could be a dead ringer for Oily Taint. Only without the blonde Tammy Faye Bakker fright wig.

phineas_bounderby September 9, 2009 at 1:13 pm

[re=405528]gurukalehuru[/re]: It’s not always just one. Georgia has at least two, with one allocated for stupid people (Lyn Westmoreland’s Third) and one creepy people (Teabag Phil Gingrey’s Eleventh).

Darkness September 9, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=405581]Cape Clod[/re]: win!

finallyhappy September 9, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=405573]Junior[/re]: World Weekly News is gone- I think you mean WorldNetDaily. World Weekly News would have Batboy visiting the White House.

Advocatus_Diaboli September 9, 2009 at 1:16 pm

OT, but another online petition. This time to impeach the illegal muslin alien.

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/obamaimpeachment/index.html

bored with gravity September 9, 2009 at 1:18 pm

[re=405585]Fox n Fiends[/re]: You imply that these people have a learning curve. That makes me laugh and laugh.

Darkness September 9, 2009 at 1:18 pm

At the end there I think the staffer/stunt double realizes that they didn’t choke up the leash on the beast in time. Heh heh.

jasper f. krone September 9, 2009 at 1:19 pm

[re=405465]rachelv[/re]: I love the logic contained therein: Lucas Smith is crazy enough to declare that he’s not crazy, therefore obama is a muslim. QED.

Redhead September 9, 2009 at 1:20 pm

oh noes, there’s a darky in the white house! accck, someone do something! he might… oh fuck it, you guys know the routine.

You know… I have yet to hear any birther that contests that Obama’s parents went to school together in Hawaii, but for some reason they think his parents left Hawaii to fly, pregnant, all the way to KENYA to have a baby. Now that just makes the whole Palin Texas/Alaska baby thing look responsible.

KilgoreTrout_XL September 9, 2009 at 1:32 pm

Looks like Justice Ginsburg’s stupid bigoted alter ego.

mardam422 September 9, 2009 at 1:33 pm

[re=405528]gurukalehuru[/re]: No, some have more.

Redhead September 9, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=405602]jasper f. krone[/re]: Did you read the comments?

“As for Lucas Smith, like I said, I always had an intuition that this was THE thing. Even when WND said it debunked it and it wasn’t real… my intiution remain strong that Lucas has the real document. My intuition was never wrong before on nothing. So I pray with the rest of you, that this will rid you of this evil Usurper dictator.”

Well if your intuition said so…

Jerri September 9, 2009 at 1:36 pm

Wait what? She’s still in Congress? God. Damn it. Kitty Farmer’s* Doppleganger, you win this round.

*she who doubts your commitment to Sparkle Motion.

the cold war makes me hot September 9, 2009 at 1:36 pm

I love Jean. A week before the election last year, she announced that she wanted to put a nuclear (nucular) waste dump in the outer reaches of her district. No one who lives there had the intelligence or energy to bat an eye, and the local paper loves her so much they thought it was a great idea for Ohio. The two yokels who consistently run against her are wet blankets. I hope she sticks around just for the larfs, cause we can always use more of those.

KilgoreTrout_XL September 9, 2009 at 1:36 pm

[re=405465]rachelv[/re]:

I’d like to add that that patriotic blog [i]does not[/i] require registration to post.

t_rax September 9, 2009 at 1:52 pm

You know who is the craziest right-wing whackjob in that video?

That sheriff with the excellenté mustache sitting there at the end of the video. Yes, that’s Richard K. Jones, he who billed the country of Mexico for their illegal immigrants.

Carl Spakler September 9, 2009 at 2:08 pm

I think it’s wonderful that Granny Clammpett eluded the long read of the death panel.

Hart88 September 9, 2009 at 2:10 pm

If they ever film a remake of “Harold & Maude”, we’ve found our Maude.

DustBowlBlues September 9, 2009 at 2:19 pm

[re=405528]gurukalehuru[/re]: Sure. Except some states have an entire douchebag congressional delegation. If you New Englanders ever have trouble coming up with a dickwad worthy of vicious snarky scorn, Okrahoma can loan you a few.

the problem child September 9, 2009 at 2:24 pm

[re=405594]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: I wonder what made them think that congress would impeach a senator?

DustBowlBlues September 9, 2009 at 2:24 pm

[re=405585]Fox n Fiends[/re]: We’ve been living on trickle down economics for nearly thirty years. If it worked, by now we’d all be drowning in money, not debt. For 60 years Republics in Okrahoma have been running on one simply platform: No taxes, more services, no government except for when you do something with your body. It worked so well with these morons, it’s spread everywhere.

And look how much good it’s done Oklahoma–and people still believe it. Not even a damn Democrat can say the truth, which is that we need to generate more tax revenue. And I’d don’t see the Obama financial advisors doing anything meaningful on reforming and regulating the financial system. Which pisses me off.

Baguette September 9, 2009 at 2:25 pm

Good eye, you clone identifiers! Jean has a twin sister!

Darkness September 9, 2009 at 2:34 pm

[re=405742]DustBowlBlues[/re]: There is the capital requirements thang, which was floated the other day. An attempt to make it less competitive to be big by ratcheting it skyward the larger the institution. I’m still deciding if it’s meaningful or not. It is, finally, at least, SOMETHING. I’ll second the implicit ARG! in your comment.

MGBYG September 9, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=405641]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: Moderated, though.

Both of my “You folks are silly yet treasonous” posts went into the ether.

the problem child September 9, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=405780]MGBYG[/re]: I didn’t get moderated out yet. But perhaps mine was too subtle for them to notice, as I employed no all caps:

JooJoo Bee September 9, 2009 at 3:17 pm

I sent an e-mail to the good Congresslady’s office asking her if she really believes President Obama is not legally President due to some irregularity in his birth documents. I said the video of her saying blah blah blah to that crazy lady is going viral all over the Interwebz (well, here, anyway), so she’d better gin up some kind of formal public statement about it. Let’s see if she does ha ha. God, this has been a good day for bananafish, hasn’t it?

MGBYG September 9, 2009 at 3:24 pm

[re=405784]the problem child[/re]: This is subtle as I could go:

# MGBYG Says: Your comment is awaiting moderation.

Y’all are a bunch of sore losers.

Wishing and ‘praying’ to your skygod is not going to make something untrue true.

The sorry, scared world you all live in.

Where were you while Bush trashed the Constitution?

KilgoreTrout_XL September 9, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Hey, since not all of you have a pacer account that you can pretty much get away with using whenever, I thought I’d share a bit of Orly Taitz legal writing, because it’s awesome. In short, this is a motion by Orly bitching about how she admittedly has no idea what the rules of civil procedure are, but COME ON PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME FOLLOW THOSE COMPLICATED RULES.

“Plaintiffs submit that Judge Arthur Nakazato’s order, entered without any prior
order of reference, without the consent of the parties, and without an order of transfer
from the District Judge, shows in its content and tenor a disloyalty to Judge Carter’s
promise and in fact a disregard (with regard to the pagination 11-3.6 issues) a
complete disregard of the actual compliant nature of the motion attacked. If the Court
believes that these Plaintiffs’ counsel has in any way violated Local Rule 11-3.6, the
Plaintiffs’ pray that the Court will instruct counsel on the nature of the violations.

The reality is that a firestorm broke loose on the internet and electronic media
generally on August 2-5 concerning the document attached to Plaintiff’s August 1,
2009 Document 34 as Exhibit A. Plaintiffs’ counsel was subjected to verbal abuse
including death-threats and that this firestorm was unjustifiably fed and fanned by
Judge Arthur Nakazato’s order. The reality of this case is that respect for the
importance of the issues involved, such as the respect shown by Judge David O.
Carter on July 13, 2009, is the only hope for a fair and just resolution in the best
interests of the people of the United States.”

No shit. Bitch actually filed this bullshit with a federal judge. There was much laughter in the clerks’ offices, that day.

Democratica September 9, 2009 at 4:09 pm

And of course, the good Congresswoman’s contact page is now throwing error messages…

smitallica September 9, 2009 at 4:41 pm

Bat-schmidt.

house of the blue lights September 9, 2009 at 4:45 pm

[re=405573]Junior[/re]: You have hit the nail on the head! Bat Boy has the original long form birth certificate!

aleks September 9, 2009 at 5:10 pm

Dear Jean,
Please consult Al Franken on how to appear rational and sober.

Junior September 9, 2009 at 7:10 pm

[re=406011]house of the blue lights[/re]:

I’m serious. There is a conduit for this shit and it works all too well. I have seen it on WWN a couple of times, but is that really it? It’s fuccking AM radio isn’t it?

momus September 9, 2009 at 7:45 pm

Did she go on to bemoan “activist” judges that base their decisions on these things called “facts?”

Is it true Orly Taitz’s dental degree was also obtained on-line?

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