Wonkette
Now. What does this headline even mean? Politico invented a list of 31 “czars” in the Obama administration, and then decided that this is a huge problem for the White House, having these 31 czars. There was such a revolt against czars that Van Jones had to be fired, for being one of the czars! This is the current hottest story in politics, maybe ever, did you know?
You must read Dave Weigel’s takedown of this. DAVE WE LOVE YOU. The Politico, in coming up with its list of 31 czars, simply found anyone with a government job and labeled that person a czar.
For example: “‘California Water Czar’ – Actually the Deputy Secretary of the Interior, who was given this extra portfolio by Secretary Ken Salazar in June.”
OTHER CZARS POLITICO FORGOTTS:
- Salad-Bar Czar — Ken Sala-czar
- Liberals Czar — Michael Moore
- Czar of Being Majority Whip — Dick Durbin
- Clown Czar — Al Franken
- Czar of Sex With Ladies — Jon Favreau
- Cafeteria Czar — Lady who works in cafeteria somewhere
- Actual Czar of Russia — Hitler
When will Obama disclose all of his Czars to Politico?
“Czar revolt” - So, Republicans are the new Bolsheviks?
Starring Glen Beck as Grigori Rasputin.
Does Politico run all their stories through the RNC before posting them or are they too busy blowing them to email?
Czar Czar Gabor!
Politico must die!
So when does Chuck Grassley get the nod for Cornfed Fucknut Czar?
Email Protocol Czar - Elizabeth Becton
Tsar Tsar Binks
Hooray For Anything:
A little bit from column A and a little bit from column B.
choinski: Hardy Czar Czar.
Don’t forget Czar Czar Gabor.
Mr.Haney/Palin 2012!
queeraselvis v 2.0: Grassley is twttr czr.
choinski:
Damn you!
dum librul: Oh, I would’ve given the Twitter Twat Czar to Mooselini.
When you wish upon a czar…
Makes no diff’rence who you are…
The GOP got Jones retired
To saaayyy… Efff…. youuuuuu.
Czar she blows!
Maybe if he appointed some Republicans as Czars, they’d shut up and go away.
For example, Czar of Pediatric Poopie-Pants (David Vitter), Czar of Divorce (Newt Gingrich), Czar of Communications with Martians (Michelle Bachman), Czar of One-dollah, One-dollah, cheap-cheap (Michelle Malkin).
Still can’t believe you linked back to that horrible Van Jones post..not that the story was bad, but because I wasted so much of my weekend looking at comment section..that makes me a commentsar….
Politico owns the fucking news, bitches! The own the morning, the mid morning, the brunch, the after brunch, the afternoon delight, the after afternoon delight, the afternoon, the mid evening, the gym time, the post gym time, the on the bus home, the evening…all of it, bithches, all of it! Even if it is just an organ, a dick shall we say, of teh RNC.
choinski: thank you
Weigel’s headline: “When is a Czar not a Czar?”
A: When it is ajar.
This is random assigning of the word “czar” is just as fucking annoying as when tards and media whoring mongoloids attach “-gate” to the end of every scandal that doesn’t involve a white, Repugnican, Born-Again-Christian male fucking a little boy.
Politico better watch it or they’ll be Czarry!
Serious-ish question: At what point does something become “controversial” just because opponents of that something say controversial crap?
I’m hoping they go after the Cowardice and Capitulation Czars next; those two seem to be the current nucleus of the Democratic party.
Some twunt on Fox News last night said all the czars are leading to a power grab never seen before.
Must of forgot the Patriot Act that congress passed in a second because Jr. needed power or something.
Why doesn’t god kill these people?
Don’t go czar!
Don’t go czar!
I KNOW YOU DID’N JUS GO CZAR!
There are so many damn czar that we need a Czar Czar to keep track. Appoint Malkin Czar Czar to shut the twat up.
Where the hell are our Czarinas???
GreatOldOnesParty: The wingnuts have finally figured out how to take down the Obama administration — Czar-gate!
They can probably find video of each and every one of the Obama czars calling Republicans “assholes”. Obama only hires smart people.
Ah, hoo. So they are working at the Czar Wash, man… workin’ at the Czar Wash, yeah.
I think I’ll go drink sterno now.
Wait so if Hitler is the czar of Russia, and Russia is Communist, therefore, logically, Obama is a Communist. And a witch!
These Pretzars are making me thirsty.
Czar o’Palin
Come here a minute: Oh. My. God.
but who will be the POWER EQUATION CZAR, “the” Politico?
They’re calling for Jones to be czar-d and feathered.
“GOP Czar Revolt” — more illiterate manufactured gooper crap.
What qualifies someone to write for Politico anyway?
Make Harriet Myers Dildo Development Czar. That will make the conservatives rethink their objections to czars and czarinas. Funny how nobody objected to czars in the 30 years since Reagan came aboard.
Silly. Everyone knows the Czar Revolt took place in Russian in 1917, resulting in the dictatorship of John Lennon, who was later killed by Lee Harvey Oswald. The only Czar to survive was the princess Anesthasia, who hid under the dead bodies of the Czar’s families and the evil Rumpelstiltskin and also the princess brother, who always got nosebleeds because he was a hermaphrodite, and after the firing squad she became a mystery of all time. The end.
You know who revolted against Czars?
Commies. That means that the Politico (sounds suspiciously like Politburo) and it’s RNC ass pals are fucking commies.
choinski: They can’t be Decembrists, though. Those are Obamatards.
Hell, The Russians only had one Czar, and that was one too many.
I thought we already got rid of them all with that recent clunkers program–Commissioners Zero Are Retired.
One Yield Regular: *golf clap*
Republicans are always revolting.
BTW, Keith Olbermann declaring open war on Glenn Beck tonight. Okay, basically just being a bit more formal about having an actual plan for open war with Glenn Beck. Should be entertaining.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/9/6/777880/-Send-Me-Everything-You-Can-Find-About-Glenn-Beck
Pardon the interruption, but I can’t concentrate. Does anybody have the phone number of the hot dude in the FIT personal training ad?
Glenn Beck’s penis is comprised entirely of czar tissue.
Czar Czar Gabor and Czar Czar Binks are the Czar Redundancy Czars.
Can’t we just send Glenn Beck et al. to the FEMA re-education camps? Make it so, Komrade Barry Hussein X!
Could we all go to the Burger Czar, where the burgers are?
Wait, have we just seen the quiet reintroduction of the Tuesday Night Takedown?
Alles klar, Herr Kommisczar?
hobospacejunkie: Barack me Amadeus, Herr Kommic Czar!
If Van Jones had been in the GOP he would have been disappeared or found dead outside a Romanian secret CIA tourture prison
Economy is in the dumper, we have the worst health care system in the industrialized world, our education system can’t keep up with Ethiopians and oh yeah, still getting killed in two failed wars. All of these calamities were started or exacerbated by the Republicans.
Number one threat to America according to the GOP?
Czars in the government.
What a pack of shit eating retards.
This would have been a way funnier story if they could have found a way to use the word “lotion” in it. God, do we have to teach EVERYONE these things?
I’m not clicking any nasty politico link so I will make an informed opinion. They suck.
Glad to see everyone is being czarcastic again.
ManchuCandidate: Hmm…..I didn’t think about that. So what the conservatives are saying is that Obama is really a Monarchist. Or are they saying that Obama is both a czar and a Commie and if so, does this mean his government will eventually try and overthrow itself?
Some little lady needs a Hair Styling haupt kommandant: http://images.politico.com/global/071214_lisaweb.jpg
I am glad Falco did not live to see this day. He would have nowhere to turn.
Oooh! A czar-hunt! I’m so excited. I wonder what I should wear!
Van Jones Thread-o-Horror::This Thread
“We’re not in Kansas anymore”::”There’s no place like home!”
I’ve always preferred Mavens, myself.
S.Luggo: Tentacle Porn.
user-of-owls::Counting Crows
Van Jones::Mr. Jones
When I marry my Indian boyfriend, I will probably wear a czari. Under my burqa (it’s a part of my boyfriend’s muslin plot to take over the world, with socializms).
Jim89048: Voivods and Tyrants and Satraps, oh my! Voivods and Tyrants and Satraps, oh my!
Van Jones = Bad Czar
Van Johnson = Bad Czar
Van Halen = Bad Czar
Van Morrison = Good Czar
31 Czars… isn’t that an ice cream place in Moscow, Baskin-Russians 31 Czars?
Extemporanus: Yeah, and here is where my utter, pathetic lack of musical/pop cultural awareness post-dating the death of Sid Vicious and Elvis Costello recording Bacharach really put me at a disadvantage. In all seriousness, I have not a clue whether that’s a tip o’ the cap or an Abner Louima salute. Hope to hear if it’s the latter, and will just lay off any ‘reply’ in your direction.
user-of-owls: This is just priceless.
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Avoid_tentacle_rape
taylormattd: 202-255-7814
“The Czars are revolting!”
“Yeah, they stink on ice.”
Also: AnnieGetYourFun: Congratulations on having penned this century’s answer to ‘I Shall Wear Purple’. Yours totally forces the other one to eat a bag of popcorn foreskins.
GreatOldOnesParty: Sweet mamacita de jesus…if the author isn’t a regular here, can we take up a collection?
One Yield Regular: Well done, well done.
Perhaps if the wingnuts would heed Barry’s call to have their children stay in school and study that wouldn’t be quite as funny.
user-of-owls: That was by no means a wag o’ the plunger.
Unless, of course, you also nailed Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Mary Louise Parker, and assorted other other bird brains of a feather, for which Adam Duritz—the Sideshow Bob-haired leader singer of the Counting Crows—is nowadays more well known.
If that were case, not even my new favorites band Burt Barackarach or Sid Elvicious could save your damned soul…
Flanders: Keep it simple. http://judicial-inc.biz/Drama_Picture.jpeg
Forgot:
Detroit’s Car Czar
Los Angeles’s Star Czar
Boston’s Bar Czar
Seattle’s Guitar Czar
NOLA’s Rebar Czar
Wait, i got more, but I hafta light the joint again…
Status report: FU-CZAR
GreatOldOnesParty: What did Sailor Moon do to deserve that?
jasper f. krone: See that outfit? She was asking for it.
If they’re revolting against the czars, that makes them….communists! Run for the hills!
user-of-owls: Yet timeless. Glennda Beck:
http://www.mlahanas.de/Greeks/Mythology/RM/MedusaCaravaggio.jpg
That Politico has really got their business finger right on the sphincter of Obama’s plots.
vitira: Why. Is he heavier than a duck?
Also, didn’t the Chinese already cure that CZARS disease with face masks?
Bart Starr for Fart Czar.
S.Luggo: *Red Bull all over shiny new laptop*
S.Luggo: “Gorgon, take me away!”
Where do we ladies sign up to help his Czarship Enterprise Favreau fulfill his duties?
All these Czars and no Okhrana…they sure as hell made the trains run on time for the glorious motherland, well, at least until 1917. We need them now, as our fair city is being invaded by teabaggers on Saturday.
Jim VandeHei is horrible, just horrible for unleashing Politico on an unsuspecting public. It is not a surprised that he jumped from one garbage barge (the WaPo) to start another (Politico).
This isn’t about czars; this is about the horrible botched abortion that is Politico. To hell, you damnable fiend.
converse: Van Hagar: Worse czar evar
Here’s to the good old Czars and Stripes.
frumious_bandersnatch: “..eat a bag of popcorn foreskins.”
I believe Anthony Bourdain has tried that already.
Most biczar.
I must say, The Washington Independent has been on it’s shit lately. A truly fantastic blog.
The Politico’s czar count employed a state of their art redundancy check.
First they counted nostrils, then they divided by by 2.
BTW, further off topic, but Jim VandeHei’s wife was a former staffer for Tom DeLay, I believe.
Ray LaHood is a Highway Czar.
Czar-ley’s Chocolate Factory just got Repo’d.