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Here is insane Florida death-monster Jim Greer, the famous state Republican party chair who last week shouted these important words, at America: “The idea that school children across our nation will be forced to watch the President justify his plans for government-run care, banks, and automobile companies, increasing taxes on those who create jobs, and racking up more debt than any other President, is not only infuriating, but goes against beliefs of the majority of Americans, while bypassing American parents through an invasive abuse of power.” But then he read the speech and… and… and it was okay BUT NOT WHAT OBAMA ORIGINALLY WANTED TO TELL THE YOUNGS, which was probably “Free cocksucking for all.”

If you decline to watch this fellow eat crow for five full minutes in the video above, then maybe just read this hilarious excerpt from the New York Times today:

After reading the text on Monday, even Jim Greer, the Florida Republican Party chairman who last week accused the president of seeking to use the speech to foist “socialist ideology” on schoolchildren, said he could find nothing to criticize in its text.

“In its current form, it’s fine,” Mr. Greer said in an interview. “But it remains to be seen if it’s the speech he’s going to give.”

Did anyone watch it? Did he, as Jim Greer suspected, give the secret “Free cocksucking for all” speech to America’s dumb children?

Greer – Still on media tour, still says White House is lying [Orlando Sentinel]

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82 COMMENTS

  1. I haven’t seen hordes of children dressed in red screaming “death to the kulaks,” so I’m guessing the speech was more of the milquetoast variety.

  2. He’s still pissed. “Free cocksucking for all”??!!! Definitely communism. How can he make a living giving $5.00 blowjobs, if there’s a free public cocksucking option?

  3. True story– Bush was all set to invade Iran until I made a snarky comment on a blog about it and this caused him to change his plans. I have no proof that this is true but I also have no proof that this isn’t true. So…if MSNBC/CNN/FOX wants to get in touch with me, just let me know and I’ll be glad to appear on every news show for the next few weeks to say completely ridiculous things free of charge.

  4. Jim Greer reminds of a fat little rat dog that lives in my neighborhood. It barks at anyone walking past the chain link fence and triumphantly struts when the intruder walks away even though it’s barking did nothing more than annoy the person.

  5. For the sake of future generations, would you please take this link down? I am afraid my non-existent kids might accidently stumble upon it, and I don’t want them to be brainlaundered into becoming no-necked repugnant morans.

  6. Look, the Repubatard elitists are really objecting to Obama’s advise for kids to study hard and make something of themselves. They don’t want publicly educated kids competing with their own private-schooled kids for the best colleges and jobs–no, better they drop out pregnant at 16, or have no other choice but to join the military because their grades suck. Less competition for Muffy and Chip.

  7. I would think that a Republican from Florida would be in favor of teaching children about the importance of free blowjobs? At least, the male children.

  8. Clearly we all need to take a firm stand (heh, heh, I said “firm”) against Jim Greer assfucking little boys over the next week. If by next week Jim Greer is not caught assfucking little boys, we can claim victory in preventing him from his hideous plan, of which we have no inside knowledge of, to assfuck little boys.

    Remember – stand firm against Jim Greer The Assfucker.

  9. [re=404693]One Yield Regular[/re]: Many people do not understand the problems of imaginary children. They have so many problems that normal children do not have, like unicorn attacks. It’s very sad, really.

  10. [re=404699]freakishlystrong[/re]: “Republicans get up and go to work,” he would tell his son. “Democrats get up and go down to the mailbox to get their checks.”

    Holy shit, is that all I have to do? Why the fuck am I working on these SQL statements, then?

  11. Dude has a mile of forehead. And in spite of what ElRushBo told him, the color black doesn’t take an extra 75 lbs off of his manframe. Bet he reeks of cigars, tallow and Aqua Velva.

  12. When are we libtards going to realize the wingnuts do not care one lick about their hypocrisies? Answer: when all the opportunities for social, political, and tort reform are long gone. Example 1: Thirty years ago we said supply side economics was a ruse. No one stood up to it. We were right. Now what?

  13. I, personally, am proud that I live in a Country where the Republican Chairperson of Florida (a state long known for sensible, sane politics) personally vets all of the President’s speeches so that none of that funny, pro-Castro commie talk, or Ebonics, comes near the ears of our children.

    For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country.

  14. Republicans complain about something they haven’t read. Why? Because it comes from a dark skinned man who wants to give advise to there poor white children.

  15. Barry is able to use his Kenyan voodoo mind-power to make our children socialists. It has nothing to do with the actual content of the speech. Jim Greer is actually all-knowing, y’all.

  16. [re=404722]bloatedwhitetruck[/re]: that would be Santorum under his nails. I heard he was going to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada but changed his mind when he found out the SM room was taken that week end..

  17. [re=404721]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Here Here!!! How about this little nugget from the interview: “Government should stay out of our lives.” Unless, of course, there’s a Florida woman who has been brain dead for six years whose husband wants to disconnect the feeding tube. Then, it’s time for congress to act.

  18. I had a dream last night that I had this amazing power. I could just look at people and see the ugly in their soul, only it was on their face. Then Jesus said to me “touch them with *this* finger and all will be done” and he touched the middle finger of my right hand.

    So I did as Jesus told me to and all the people wiht ugly devil faces dropped dead just as soon as I touched them with that finger.

    They all looked like this guy.

  19. [re=404728]twowheeljunkie[/re]: Heh. If I were Obama, I’d really play up my passive aggressive side after this and go around dropping broad hints about a SPEECH I’m going to give (cue music) or SOMETHING I’m GOING TO DO VERY SOON and just watch them get all foamy with their epilepsy.

    Then my speech would be just the normal shit and their stupidity would be waving like a big ol’ flag over and over and over again.

  20. Free cocksucking for all is discriminatory since “all” do not have cocks. I want equal free sex acts for non-cock Americans! Otherwise, hooray for free cocksucking.

  21. [re=404734]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Awww, how sweet! And as a special token, you can have a crack at Mr. FIT Personal Training dude. After he gets finished with me, of course.

  22. [re=404740]Doglessliberal[/re]: Hey, now you are trying to make distinction and giving and receiving the free cocksucking. I’ll have you know that there are some who would be willing to pay $20 to be the giver. They are all Republicans, but still.

  23. The wingers must have an amazing telephone tree, because I just heard a winger woman on MSNBC say about the same thing.

    The Kenyan-Islamo-Fascist would have given the speech recruiting Red Army soldiers for the Long March into Iran if the wingers hadn’t made him change it from the version that they never saw in the first place. Winger woman says she’s still really pissed, but not at the speech he gave but the speech he didn’t give that she never saw. That speech has her really, really steamed and she will never forgive him for it.

    Joe Watkins says he hates the president because he’s really articulate and persuasive and any day now he’ll be talking kids into gay marrying each other in matching Hammer and Sickle tee shirts–the ones that the Flaming Lips made all the rage in Okrahoma.

    Now all we need now is for Sanford to explain that the above is Agent 00666’s secret mission in life.

  24. [re=404790]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I’d love to have a one-on-one chat with that winger lady. I’d tell her in great detail how I still feel about the “Purple Heart bandaids” she and her ilk sported in 2004. In GREAT detail. Long and loud and dramatic. I’d share with her just how many generations in my family are unfortunate enough to HAVE that medal they were gleefully making fun of. And I’d be sure to point out that that disgusting display they put on *actually happened* unlike this Speech That Exists Only in Her Addled Mind.

  25. [re=404752]Cape Clod[/re]: Thank you, m’dear. Is your Kenyan Birth Certificate Anniversary upcoming, or already past? Either way, I will drink in honor of you in… oh, hell. Why not now?

  26. I liked the part where he bitched about Obama fixing the economy, and then said at the end the White House should be fixing the economy, not writing lesson plans. It’s 12:45 p.m. here. I’m going back to bed.

  27. [re=404815]badmuthagoose[/re]: Yo! bro, (or something like that). When I give that speech to those Repubs I make sure I mention that I was in Vietnam during Tet and also worked for the Post Office. They get real quite after that.

  28. [re=404715]Mac W Cheese[/re]: I have no idea, as my focus has been tickling his nipples with my cursor and wondering if he has hot banner guy secks with the beardy guy from ‘Find Fred.’

  29. [re=404663]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: Thank you for your service.

    In this TV appearance, he also does not call for universal goat-fucking, and for that I deserve all the credit.

  30. [re=404816]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I don’t know whether to be happy or sad that they’re leaving out Arizona Girl, too. Just today we gave them a entrepreneur/preacher who wants Obama to “melt like a snail.”

  31. Jukesgrrl: Oh hey, no bias intended toward my fellow states that have an inordinate number of retards. I just thought the irony of Alaska Girl asking that question followed by me (in Texas) pounding on Florida would rip the space-time continuum. If you, Dust Bowl, and someone from Utah had chimed in on the insanity of Florida, the circle would be complete.

  32. “…and we don’t need Barack Obama the schoolteacher.”
    Yes, Mr. Fucktard Moran Poopiepants, Mr. in the cookie jar caught, mouth breathing, knuckle dragging sad remnant of the Neanderthal race, apparently we do.

  33. [re=404713]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I run into that “Republicans work real hard; Democrats just pick up government checks” meme *all over the fucking net*, usually from young rightwingers. It is based on absolutely nothing, and yet, they all seem to believe it.

  34. [re=404685]teebob2000[/re]: He’s much bigger in person. Also, Jim Greer is just trying to create a new political firestorm that doesn’t include his Republican Party of Florida or his inability to keep his dick in his pants.

    It seems the RPOF is intent on spending all the hard-working Muricans’ dollars on fancy hotel rooms and “business” dinners with their party Amex cards. All those bastards have them, and whether or not they made a political show of cutting them up at their convention in July, they still use them.

    As for keeping his dick in his pants, let’s just say they finally had to hire an EA that wasn’t young and cute. Those settlements get expensive.

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