today in death

Orgy Of Neocons (And Sarah Palin!) Write To Obama, Asking For More War In Afghanistan

As Afghanistan’s war-loving General McChrystal prepares to ask for more troops at the end of the month, will he get them, or will Obama be a massive vagina and say no fuck you? Bill Kristol, for one, thinks there ought be more troops! The Foreign Policy Initiative, Kristol’s new iteration of the famous Project for the New American Century, has gone back to its 90s-style out-of-power activist method of advocating for more newer wars: writing letters to the president about bombing people, and having lots of signatures. Just read the list of co-signatories on this thing: Max Boot, John Podhoretz, a million Kagans, Randy Scheunemann, and finally, the fire of Randy Scheunemann’s loins: Sarah Palin. We’ve never felt better about the “Afghanistan War,” have you? [FPI]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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55 comments

  1. FMA

    I can’t see what could possibly go wrong. Bill Kristol has never been wrong about anything in his entire life.

  2. 4tehlulz

    It’s usually better to advocate a position _before_ it’s been made, not after.

    But since Bill Kristol and Sarah Palin are involved, I can understand the error.

  3. nbawriter

    Since Bill Kristol has never been right about anything in his life — he pisses out his ass and poops through his peen — I guess Afghanistan is officially a fail.

  4. AnnieGetYourFun

    Ten to one that Palin’s signature backs out of the commitment before the letter is sent to the President.

  5. Roger the Shrubber

    I, personally, have no problem sending these people to Afghanistan. Sarah Palin in combat boots sounds kind of hot.

  6. Norbert

    Form all the co-signers into a very special fighting unit, and deploy to Afghanistan ASAP. reality TV at its finest!

  7. freakishlystrong

    [re=404393]Norbert[/re]: Because Iraq has been such a resounding success, everything they say, do the opposite, sheesh.

  8. Jumping Jim

    We don’t have enoigh troops to do everything the Neo Cons want us to do.

    Answer.. hire Hessians.

    Oh, sorry, forgot about Blackwater and Halliburton.

  9. norbizness

    I’d feel a lot better about this doomed mission if I knew that General McCrystalMeth and the baguette-eating NATO Chiefs of Staff were at least watching Rambo III for tactical inspiration.

  10. WadISay

    The best argument for staying in Afghanistan is that it makes it much harder for us to get into other, newer, shinier wars. Other than that, Kristol has his head up his ass, as usual.

  11. germansteel

    I’d have been a lot more uncertain whether the letter-writers were right or not if Sarah Palin had not signed it, too.

    Now, I’m certain.

  12. Uncertainty Vice-Principal

    Look, William Kristol may have been completely wrong about advocating the invasion of Iraq, the WMD, the Iraq-Al Quaeda connection, and well, everything else he ever said.

    However he completely redeemed himself by almost single-handedly engineering the selection of Sarah Palin to be Vice Presidential nominee for the McCain campaign.

    We just have to make sure that the hermetically sealed wall stays up so that no one else ever takes him seriously outside that padded cell currently known as the Republican party.

  13. nbawriter

    I wish Kristol would make football predictions. That way I could benefit from his extreme penchant for wrongness.

  14. Norbert

    [re=404393]Norbert[/re]: Who wouldn’t want to see a few Kagans triple-teaming a Podhoretz, anus-vodka style. This manoeuvre could be called a Kagan exercise.

  15. Prommie

    I once new someone who struck it rich, as it were, in trade, he got quite wealthy. He once said to me “If you want to get rich, look at what poor people do, and don’t do that.”

    I think that reasoning applies here. I can think of no better reason for a unilateral and complete evacuation, not even an orderly phased transition, no, an emergency evacuation, of all US troops and personnel from Afghanistan, no better reason, than the fact that Palin and Kristol and Podhoretz and the rest think they should be there.

    The contractors, we leave them there to be killed, though. Thats my one caveat.

  16. Paul Tardy

    I don’t mind a bunch of people being paid off to advocate something, but I think they should each write their own letter. Lazy Lazy Lazy.

  17. Come here a minute

    [re=404417]magic titty[/re]: And she tried out her new dreamy “title”:

    President Sarah Palin
    President Sarah Palin
    President Sarah Palin
    President Sarah Palin
    President Sarah Palin
    President Sarah Palin
    President Sarah Palin

  18. hunter.blatherer

    He will reply by offering to send Sasha, Malia, and Van Jones; if only they promise to keep their kids in school.

  19. V572625694

    [re=404424]btwbfdimho[/re]: Haven’t won a war in 50 years? How about our glorious victories in Panama and Grenada and some other little banana republic I can’t recall right now? USA — fuck yeah!

  20. lawrenceofthedesert

    Sorry, Wonkoids, but the English idiom, she is different itself. Like “a gaggle of journalists,” or a “murder of crows,” it’s a “limp of neocons,” not an “orgy.” However, it is proper usage, according to the Parliament-Fundadelic Manual of Style, to say “an orgy of hippies.”

  21. slappypaddy

    since this empire (the benighted states a-murky) is running aground, it might as well have its timbers stove in on the shoals of afghanistan as anywhere else. fuck, it worked for the russkies. and the brits also learned a thing or two. why should we think we’re any different? get with the program, imperial wizards!

  22. Cape Clod

    “The situation in Afghanistan is grave and deteriorating. This is in part the legacy of an under resourced war effort that has cost us and the Afghans dearly.”

    Please remind me why this war was under resourced again?

  23. Marlowe

    [re=404519]Cape Clod[/re]:
    “The situation in Afghanistan is grave and deteriorating. This is in part the legacy of an under resourced war effort that has cost us and the Afghans dearly.”
    Somehow, I think the Afghans paid more than us.

  24. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Thank God Bill Kristol had such a distinguished military career that he knows what he is talking about when it comes to sending young men to their deaths to make the world match his ideology.

  25. Bruno

    [re=404550]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: “Thank God Bill Kristol had such a distinguished military career”

    Add Sarah 2012 to that list. She just sends her kin-folk in the mililary, and complains that soldiers in a combat zone shouldn’t be shot up, because God knows, that never happens.

  26. chascates

    The next Executive Order should give each of the signatories the rank of Specialist I and order them into Afghanistan to help fight Islamofascism.

  27. Jukesgrrl

    [re=404393]Norbert[/re]: What channel? I’ll make popcorn. And make sure the contestants know they’re allowed to take along all of their relatives. (In Palin’s case, she may take the Formerly First Dood AND Meg Stapleton. Kristol should be accompanied by the entire staff of FOX News and every conservatard who ever sent him a fan letter.) That should make a full fighting force. Who will be the last one standing? (My money’s on Greta Van Susteren.)

  28. zhubajie

    [re=404409]V572625694[/re]: Maybe if you were an infantryman in Afghanistan and hadn’t seen a woman in a long time.

  29. slappypaddy

    [re=404467]V572625694[/re]: “Haven’t won a war in 50 years? How about our glorious victories in Panama and Grenada and some other little banana republic I can’t recall right now?”

    the lesson may be that if we fight wars in the half of the world we live in and not clear around on the other side of the fucking planet, we might have a better chance of winning them. and also we need to remember to fight really tiny countries. and no more wars against nouns. nouns have proven to be much tougher than we thought (we thought verbs would be the tough ones).

  30. NYNYNY

    Well, Rumsfeld, Cheney, Osama Bin Laden, Charles Manson, Hank Williams Jr, Pol Pot Jr, Neil Bush and Hugo Chavez didn’t sign this letter for some reason. I’d still like to hear their views.

  31. Average Citizen

    I’m betting that if Obama calls his troop buildup a “surge”, Kristol and Palin will come out against the war.

  32. heathenish

    Well others have beat me to it, but we should always listen to William Kristol, because he is always right and never makes mistakes, ever. Except that one time, with Iraq, and oh…yeah, he IS a douchebag!

  33. LoweredPeninsula

    ‘Till Jesus supplies his John Hancock (ha…cock), I ain’t supportin’ no more escalations.

    BTW, I’m more partial to the term “Clusterfuck/Clusterflock of NeoCons”, myself. Also.

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