NICE CHAIN-SMOKING LADIES  9:52 am September 8, 2009

Laura Bush Loves Socialism Again

by Jim Newell

GayIn the early 1800s, a nice nerdy Democrat gal named Laura “Matt” Welch was attending a “common backyard barbecue” in Texas when this drunk slob, George W. Bush, started grabbing her boobs and vomiting all over her. Bush made Ms. Welch become a Republican, if she wanted in on the family money, and this arrangement worked out alright until just now, when Laura Bush said a nice thing or two about Barack Obama and his commie speech to the schoolchildren.

Laura Bush told CNN these evil things while she was literally in Paris, France, the home of “education.”

The typically reserved former first lady defended Obama’s decision to deliver a back-to-school speech to students, putting her at odds with many conservatives afraid that the president will use the opportunity to advance his political agenda.

“I think he is [doing a good job],” Bush said when asked to assess Obama’s job performance. “I think he has got a lot on his plate, and he has tackled a lot to start with, and that has probably made it more difficult.”

Michelle Obama is also “doing great,” she said, in part by turning the White House into a comfortable home for her family.

Referencing the uproar over Obama’s address to schoolchildren, which will be aired nationwide Tuesday, Laura Bush said it’s “really important for everyone to respect the president of the United States.”

Where is Laura Bush’s birth certificate?

Laura Bush praises Obama, bemoans excessive partisanship [CNN]

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TGY September 8, 2009 at 9:56 am

Heretic! She’s a witch! Probably turned someone into a Newt!

anothercountryheardfrom September 8, 2009 at 9:59 am

I’m not sure I understand. Where’s the part about killing Obama for the Socialism and then eating his brain?

KublaKant September 8, 2009 at 10:00 am

I got better

ManchuCandidate September 8, 2009 at 10:00 am

Too skinny to be Newt.

4tehlulz September 8, 2009 at 10:01 am

Rush will begin talking about her car “accident” shortly.

greywindz September 8, 2009 at 10:03 am

Yea, I was watching this programme…but you missed the important part…she was asked whether Obi-wanna-ma is a commie, and she said, that she didnt liked when nasty things were said about W, so she wont say… ;-)

bureaucrap September 8, 2009 at 10:05 am

Laura Bush and Levi Johnston should probably flee the country together. Laura’s already fled; Levi can meet her there and be her hot boy toy.

Marmel September 8, 2009 at 10:05 am

I love how these people chime in when it’s too late to be meaningful.

Perhaps she can do something about the ridiculous Texas Board of Education as long as she’s giving a crap about reality these days?

Doubtful tho.

Norbert September 8, 2009 at 10:05 am

Not terrible but what would really be great is if Nancy Reagan could be found, alive and not drooling, to say that Ronnie would be watching the speech IN HEAVEN.

meyotch September 8, 2009 at 10:07 am

Can we make this about potatoes again? Still needy…. I’ll totally bite your finger if you’ll put ‘it’ in my mouth.

Too weird?

Yeah I do that.

jagorev September 8, 2009 at 10:09 am

Oh boy. Obama’s going to have to fire Laura Bush from whatever she’s doing now, isn’t he?

anonymousryan September 8, 2009 at 10:10 am

[re=404336]TGY[/re]: She turned me into a newt! … I got better.

freakishlystrong September 8, 2009 at 10:15 am


slappypaddy September 8, 2009 at 10:15 am

we always knew she was the brains in the family.

meyotch September 8, 2009 at 10:19 am

Seriously, is this the best the late-nighters can do?

I dropped a topical oral-sex innuendo and this is what I get?

Sheeeit, I guess I’ll ‘work’ tomorrow.

groove September 8, 2009 at 10:25 am

This decency should be stifled before an all-out outbreak of the stuff happens. We don’t need this here in U.S. America.

Monsieur Grumpe September 8, 2009 at 10:27 am

So she’s off the meds now or she’s back on the meds? I’m so confused.

AmazingLarry September 8, 2009 at 10:28 am

Yeah, well…. she killed a person.

Failed 2 Menace September 8, 2009 at 10:30 am

Yes, no, yes.

rmontcal September 8, 2009 at 10:30 am

Where is Laura Bush’s gift certificate?

the problem child September 8, 2009 at 10:32 am

Hey, a former first lady recluse basically said nothing. What a win for decency and common sense!

grendel September 8, 2009 at 10:32 am

The important part was that she was wearing clown white on her face and red hooker lipstick… It was kinda scary

gurukalehuru September 8, 2009 at 10:33 am

What does this mean? Either she’s genuinely trying to be nice and above the fray, which means she probably never had a clue what was going on, or she just didn’t get the memo, which means there is a serious chink in the wingnut ranks.

Fun times ahead.

house of the blue lights September 8, 2009 at 10:35 am

Did I somehow miss the part where you can promote a political agenda through that well-known voting block, “people under the age of 18″? (Oh, and kudos to Mrs. Bush, for coming out of the vicodin-stupor long enough to throw some sense into this “debate”)

AnnieGetYourFun September 8, 2009 at 10:37 am

[re=404346]Marmel[/re]: Seriously, right? And how does Mrs. Bush beel about the crackdown in China… in Tiananmen Square? Hm? Inquiring minds want to know.

AnnieGetYourFun September 8, 2009 at 10:38 am

Also, my god, that picture. She is SUCH a hussy.

Jumping Jim September 8, 2009 at 10:38 am

Speaking of education, here is how to tell what the future is for your 6 year old schoolchild.

Tell them this joke.

Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.

If they laugh, that’s good, as this is 6 year old humor.

If they say, Dad, I’ve heard that joke, that’s ok, because they are socially acclimated.

If they have a blank stare, they may be a future Republican.

If they tell you that you should not say the word Pooh, then they are a Shawn Hannity / Rush Limbaugh listener.

If they stare blankly and then tell you not to say Pooh, hide your drugs. They will someday narc you to the police.

Oldskool September 8, 2009 at 10:44 am

She had eight years to hog-tie hubby and stuff him in a closet but she let him run amok instead. Must be feeling as guilty as Colin Powell.

totoro September 8, 2009 at 10:55 am

This is the kind of juice you get when you put a Latina on the Supreme Court.

Remember this one from way back in June 8:
Mrs. Bush said in an interview broadcast Monday on ABC’s “Good Morning America” that “as a woman, I’m proud that there might be another woman on the court. I wish her well.”

I bet she thinks women have something distinct and valuable to offer in male-dominated segments of public life. Who knew we had a raving anti-man hairy-pits socialist in the WH for 8 years? The rumors of her Mexican origins will begin shortly.

PerhapsSo September 8, 2009 at 10:57 am

[re=404345]bureaucrap[/re]: She seems to like them dumb, so that might just work.

sezme September 8, 2009 at 10:59 am

I really don’t know how to feel about this until we hear from Mrs. Innister. Like is this one of those times when it’s appropriate to laugh?

WadISay September 8, 2009 at 11:02 am

Apology to Rush Limbaugh coming in 3…2…1.

Lazy Media September 8, 2009 at 11:03 am

Hmm. George W. Bush and Mrs. George W. Bush have hardly done a single douchey thing since he left office. Is he actually a nice, if dimwitted, fella who was held hostage by Dick Cheney for eight years?

house of the blue lights September 8, 2009 at 11:10 am

[re=404344]greywindz[/re]: child, child, child. Are you talking about “context”? Haven’t we taught you ANYthing?

Flanders September 8, 2009 at 11:11 am

[re=404385]gurukalehuru[/re]: I’m going with nice and clueless.

widget09 September 8, 2009 at 11:21 am

Why is Laura permitted to speak her own mind? This is downright treason. I expect the teabaggers to disownn the Bushes.

DoctorCulturae September 8, 2009 at 11:22 am

No, this is all part of the “don’t-throw-my-hubby-in-the-clink-he-was-set-up-by-Darth-let-him-take-the-fall” crusade.

Remember how Bill ‘n Hilz did the same with him?

Cy_Guy September 8, 2009 at 11:27 am

[re=404341]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Frankly

An Outhouse September 8, 2009 at 11:28 am

Laura must have just received a refill on her meds. Sometimes she goes overboard when the supply appears to be unlimited.

rubybuckaroo September 8, 2009 at 11:37 am

That photo of Laura bookended by burka dames has me kinda giggly.

hunter.blatherer September 8, 2009 at 11:46 am

Why is that woman in the picture wearing a mask? The one in the middle, I mean.

factnorfiction September 8, 2009 at 11:50 am

This is what happens when Laura Bush doesn’t have CONSTANT, UNENDING ACCESS to her cancer sticks. Someone plz quickly find something phallic-shaped to plug her up??

lawrenceofthedesert September 8, 2009 at 11:59 am

Next thing you know, she’ll be commenting on Wonkette. Must she be so, well, New Mexican? And how was she able to avoid catching the Gasbag Virus from Shrubbie (look how it devastated Liz Dole, and Bob didn’t even win)? Joshua Goldbugger wants to know.

freerangemink September 8, 2009 at 12:19 pm

[re=404369]AmazingLarry[/re]: Jesus H.! Is that an “American Dream” reference? Well don’t that just beat the Dutch!?

freerangemink September 8, 2009 at 12:22 pm

[re=404432]Lazy Media[/re]: Maybe but then who made him execute all them retards down in Texas?

One Yield Regular September 8, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Is that a picture of her being held hostage by radical Christian fundamentalists?

Carrie_Okie September 8, 2009 at 12:27 pm

So. Jungle Fever, eh? Nancy succumbed to it too.

teebob2000 September 8, 2009 at 12:32 pm

[re=404385]gurukalehuru[/re]: You thinking of John Yu maybe? He seems pretty serious.

Extemporanus September 8, 2009 at 1:17 pm

Mmm…I sure do love me some Double-Stuf Whoreos®, uh-huh!

AutomaticPilot September 8, 2009 at 1:18 pm

[re=404515]freerangemink[/re]: In other words, W put Trig in front of a death panel.

Bruno September 8, 2009 at 2:11 pm

The Cheney death list just got one more name added to it.

Laura, I don’t care how many meds you are on (hopefully same as me), but I knew you were the cool one in that couple.

Accordion-o-rama September 8, 2009 at 3:58 pm

Laura Bush: Intellectual giant of the GOP.

Rock Tumbler September 8, 2009 at 4:55 pm

I like how CNN attributed her quote: “I think he is [doing a good job].” The most important part of the sentence is apparently something she didn’t actually say. She could have said “I think he is a nigger” and we would be none the wiser.

LoweredPeninsula September 9, 2009 at 1:48 am

I swear to the FSM that she looks like Batman’s Joker in every posed picture I’ve ever seen of her.

Can someone do some nice ‘art’ and turn her into the Dark Night Joker? It wouldn’t be that difficult, as the base palette is already there in her own face.

BTW, Ms. Welch has been a willing hostage. This former librarian (booo, socialist book-learnin’!) was a Democrat all her life ’till she met George Walker Bush (nee Cockhead). I guess that money was too tempting.

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