rock and roll high school

New Jersey School District Will Save Your Kids From Obama On TeeVee

Smokin' ain't allowed in school.Hooray, it’s time to indoctrinate the school children at the government-run anti-choice public school-prisons. But how will we best teach these weak lumps of young shit how to be Nazi-Socialists for the Black Panthers? WITH THE TEEVEE, obvs. And that’s why the no-good Hawaiian-Chicago street hustler, Barry Nobama, will speak to the childrens on the closed circuit today, old school, and of course oh good gravy there are some WHITE folks who heard about this, and they are not so happy about a common African Slave telling kids to “stay in school.” Look what happens when black kids stay in school and go to Harvard and all that …. BLAM, black dude is president. Not good.

In other words, only Hitler himself (if he had been a little less Linzer Torte and a little more Malcolm X) could possibly do more harm to American White Children who can’t afford private primary schooling. Let’s check in with the New Jersey suburban authorities:

—– Original Message —–
To: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sent: Friday, September 04, 2009 11:01 AM
Subject: Response to President’s speech to school children

Dear Parents and Guardians:

Some of you have made inquiries to our high schools regarding President Barack Obama’s address to school children scheduled for noon on Tuesday, September 8. The purpose of the President’s speech is to “urge students to take personal responsibility for their own education, to set goals, and to not only stay in school but make the most of it” (according to the White House website).

We would like to inform you that the North Hunterdon-Voorhees Regional High School District will not mandate that the speech be shown to our students during school. The speech will also not be broadcast on the TVs located throughout the school. We are allowing teachers, if they so choose, to air the speech via the internet if they would like to discuss it as a current events issue or to spark debate among their class. Teachers will not assign any homework regarding this speech. The speech will be taped if teachers would like to show it at a later date.

If you do not want your child to watch the speech, please have your child inform the teacher. The student will be given a pass to be excused from class.

We hope this communication allays any concerns you may have had regarding President Obama’s address to school children.

Sincerely,

Charles M. Shaddow, Ph.D.
Superintendent of Schools

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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121 comments

  1. artbot2000

    Wow, he has a Ph.D, just like Doctor Laura Schlesinger!

    Shaddow is a mope, and has succeeded in making himself and his town a laughingstock. Not that I mind. But isn’t it a sacred national tradition for this kind of cretinism to rear its tiny head first someplace in Arizona?

  2. RoscoePColtraine

    Dear Parents and Guardians:

    We realize that you don’t want your child coming home tomorrow demanding to know why you are such douche bags for talking shit about President Obama. It is a foregone conclusion that if they have such unimpeded, unsupervised access to his coolness, the scales will fall from their eyes and they will see you (us) for the racist fuckwads that you (we) are. Yadda yadda….

  3. hobospacejunkie

    Oh jesus Ken thank god you saved us from the previous thread. As with torture, best not to look back.

    Nazi-Socialist is technically redundant, but I guess that’s part of this multi-layered joke of a clown college opening day address. Obama seems unable to escape the steaming piles of wingtard feces which seem to dog his every step these days. Or maybe that’s just a byproduct of getting all my news from the Wonkett.

  4. whenPUMAsattack

    [re=404213]aleks[/re]: Don’t do it. Unless you absolutely fucking love kids, teaching and dealing with shit-heel administrators and parents, don’t do it.

  5. Bearbloke

    I knew this would happen if we taught them how to read…. but at least Obama will bring enough cigarettes to share…

  6. foog

    “Teachers will not assign any homework regarding this speech….”

    However, an alternative homework project based on the wit and wisdom of fellow New Jersey resident and American hero Hal Turner will be assigned to every student.

    Sincerely,
    The Shaddow knows

  7. hobospacejunkie

    [re=404224]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Her speech might not be so great but she’d make a memorably explosive exit.

  8. Click

    Just need a note to skip out, eh? Well, that’ll give most of them an extra day of summer to go play with all their homeschooled friends.
    [re=404224]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Nicely done.

  9. O_o

    Even when W. had this country at its most polarized by waging a goddamn war based on lies, the level of fucktardery wasn’t this high. And Obama has *barely* done anything yet, for crying out loud!

    The wingnuts are making it really really really difficult to believe this backlash is nothing more than flat-out racism.

  10. Hooray For Anything

    I hope this means that in the future, my children will be given a chance to skip President Jenna Bush’s live video chat with all the nation’s kids

  11. psilage

    Almost nothing online for Charles Shaddow. He must do most of his networking using his handle Twinkie McSperm.

  12. Smoke Filled Roommate

    How the hell is he going to urge students to make the most of their education in Jersey?

  13. Wilson Dizard

    The LA Times reports today that Obama is losing support among white Democrats, Independents and women. All of these demographic groups will be crucial for the midterm elections. The LA Times’ article bristles with the passive voice and upside-down sentences that purport to assign the loss of support to Obama’s decisions to offend white people, rather than the appalling race-baiting by the healthcare plutocracy and the polluter plutocracies, in particular. Soo..the supine media is fully complicit in assigning blame for this racial polarization to the victim. Doesn’t the plutocracy realize that a country shattered by race hatred isn’t one that they would want to own anymore? Or….that if they choose to sell their parts of it (because the top 5 percent of families own a vastly disproportionate share of all financial assets), that a cauldron of race hatred would be less valuable than what they own today?

  14. aleks

    [re=404222]whenPUMAsattack[/re]: I like summer vacation and dressing up on Halloween even though I’m too old for it.

  15. PhyrePhox

    Keep it up, y’all.
    Usually, this time of year, as the Toronto nights start dipping down towards freezing, hinting at the hellish winter approaching, I start to ask myself if I really should try to pack up the family and head back to Texas for some proper food and a winter I can cope with.

    Not this year. I’m not going any closer to the border than to stare out at Buffalo across the lake and blow raspberries at the fucktards. Thank you for ruining my country. Thank you for making it so unpleasant to have a black president that I almost regret it. Thank you for sticking me and other hapless expats with the task of answering countless “what the fuck” type questions from foreigners, which I am completely at a loss to answer.

    I’m oiling up my snow blower, I got a few kilos (not pounds, ha! See what I did?) of andouille sausage coming across the border (from a friend of a friend), they just opened a Chipotle downtown, and I can download all your stupid TV shows now, so I won’t miss you at all.

    If only they’d open a Whataburger here, sniff.

  16. Boozeweek

    Never forget: Obama is a bad-ass. More specifically, he’s one smart dude.

    This speech to schoolkids is the perfect illustration — the guy knows EXACTLY what he’s doing. All the wingnuts get their panties in a bunch about imaginary Socialist propaganda, and then Obama gives a speech like this that no sane person can argue against, period — it’s that good…

    Think back to the 2008 campaign — at various points, the Big Story was how Obama had lost his mojo and if only he’d do what WE wanted him to do then maybe he’d win the election. But somehow he had the whole thing sewn up before I even got home from work on November 4…

    Just as a thought experiment, imagine that Obama is not just as smart as you, but (I know, this is difficult) EVEN SMARTER! I’m not saying that we should just roll over and go along with whatever he wants to do, but on the “inside baseball” stuff, he certainly tends to get the last laugh…

  17. Helefink

    I hope Obama will chug a few wine coolers before this address like he seems to have done before speaking in Ohio today. That’ll get the kids going. Fire it up! Woo!

  18. problemwithcaring

    I think it’s good our children are learning that the only proper place to watch Black people do anything is on the internet and with adult consent.

  19. Atheist Nun

    Dear Parents and Guardians:

    We will comply with the ill-informed, knee-jerk reactions of the ignorant racists among you, because we don’t really care if your children are learning anything or not, (if that was not already obvious by the low test scores of dullards you call children.) Rational, mature adults, please go fuck yourselves.

    Sincerely,

    Charles M. Shaddow, Ph.D.
    Superintendent of Schools

  20. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    But if the kids don’t listen to Obama, how will they learn to roll Jazz Cigarettes, ride the White Horse, have the freaky sex, and then perform their own abortions?

    [re=404235]Colander[/re]: Don’t worry, kids will have permission to skip your class if the parents are upset about you teaching.

    [re=404239]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Actually, Jenna’s speech will be broadcast directly into the minds of the children of America. Strangely enough, not a single person on Fox News will have a problem with this.

  21. gurukalehuru

    [re=404251]Boozeweek[/re]: I hope you’re right, but it sure looks to me like he’s caving on health care, a whole bunch of ethical issues (rendition, wiretapping), and he’s not prosecuting anybody from the previous administration, at least not fast enough, in my opinion.
    But I have noticed that he’s smarter than me.
    I sure hope you are right.

  22. foog

    [re=404258]Atheist Nun[/re]: Are you kidding me? It had [i]everything[/i]! Tragedy, comedy, melodrama, tough-guy threats, romance, a smattering of “also”s, trucknutz, and bags of dicks. I laughed, I cried, I saved fifty bucks! Why, that thread was such a thing of beauty that it is our pleasure, nay, it is our Christian duty to continue to mention and deconstruct it here and in every thread to follow for the next week and a half.

  23. foog

    [re=404262]gurukalehuru[/re]: “Too long; didn’t read”. The response of choice from illiterates who can’t be arsed to read anything longer than 5 lines because, well, reading hurts! (not you, Atheist Nun. That thread really is tl;dr)

    It’s funny, because it’s short, you see. And retarded.

  24. QueenOfTheDamned

    Having been a teacher in a former life, I can attest to the fact that school administrators as a group are among the most gutless wonders roaming the face of the Earth. I’m not at all surprised that many have given credence to this nonsense. In fact, I’d be shocked if they didn’t. Nobody can throw you under a bus faster at the first whiff of any complaints or controversy.

    That said, though, this “issue” has been the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. I have now officially lost all hope for this nation. I seriously don’t believe in a future for a society in which even 20-35% of the population is this dumb, gullible, petty, mean, vindictive, and hateful. I don’t believe such a society can survive.

    I’m surrounded by idiots who fully embrace this crap. People who believe that the democratically-elected President is a Communist, Marxist, Socialist, Muslim, non-citizen Nazi who wants to use mind control on their children, kill everyone over 65, and ration our toilet paper. Never mind that they don’t have the slightest notion what any of that means. If Glen Beck or Bill O’Reilly or the local version of Jerry Falwell said it, dammit, it’s true.

    I’m not concerned in the least about a Palin or Gingrich or Huckabee presidency. It’s not going to hold together that long. I’m laying in a good supply of mind-numbing corn syrup products and booze to to desensitize myself while I watch the death spiral. If that’s not potent enough, I have a long, sharp icepick and a bigass rubber mallet. My insurance won’t cover a “professional” lobotomy; I’ll have to self-medicate.

  25. JavaJack

    I can only wonder what the other douch-bages are like.

    by Hunterdon County Democrat Staff
    Wednesday June 10, 2009, 7:53 PM
    Superintendent Charles M. Shaddow of the North Hunterdon-Voorhees Regional High School District has been selected as the Hunterdon County “Superintendent of the Year” for a second year in a row by his fellow county administrators.

  26. teleken

    [re=404214]artbot2000[/re]: Oh please don’t say that. I’ve been in AZ 4 years and I’m getting ready to buy my first house.

  27. missannethrope

    [re=404264]QueenOfTheDamned[/re]: Hey Queenie, I hate to admit it, but I’m with you on this. I’ve almost stopped caring about what happens to the world once I’m gone.

  28. LoweredPeninsula

    [re=404251]Boozeweek[/re]: Oh, no. You’re not one of those, are you? I like the president as much as the next guy, but this “secret genius” nonsense is almost, almost as bad as the ‘secret Muslim’ shit as both insult ones’ intelligence. Please spare us the fanboy crap, I beg of you.

  29. 4tehlulz

    [re=404265]JavaJack[/re]: In his defense, if your school district was founded by Jason Voorhees, you’d avoid controversy as much as possible.

  30. plowman

    Maybe school systems that opt out can show a old episode of ‘Good Times’ instead, just to prove they ain’t racist or nuttin…

  31. TGY

    Oh, sure. Barry just does these rational things to demonstrate how part of the country still goes apeshit from the ‘Nigra-is-President’ Syndrome (NIPS). It’s fun and illuminating.

  32. dijetlo

    Here’s a little secret about our good Hopey. If we’d buried him every time some media monkey claimed he was dead, his ass would be sticking out of the ground in Beijing. He’s got the racist wingnuts pissing blood over him telling children to stay in school so I suggest we just let the brother work. He’s fucked them up before, he may be about to do it again.

  33. smellyal8r

    This is one of the most bizarre “news” stories in a long time. I knew the Fox folks hated Barry (and allowed Glen Beck, et al to get this ginned up). Do I want my kid listening to the President of the US, regardless of who it is? Yes. Why not? Aspire to be something. A smart black man was elected. A stupid white man was elected before him. Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. What a concept. It’s not like these kids are going to be listening to Huey Newton (or Bill Ayres). It’s a stupid fight to distract from all the other crap the right wing doesn’t want (health care for all, an energy policy that won’t cook the planet, gays getting married — or God forbid — serving in the military). My probs with Obama is that he’s letting Beck and, horrors, Palin, drive much of this debate. Free Rahm!

    [re=404248]PhyrePhox[/re]: You are adding 100 years to your life by not being near a Whataburger. The sandwiches they are advertising now are enough to clog your arteries through the teevee signal.

  34. dijetlo

    I’m waiting for him to look at Chuck Grassley and say “You aint my bitch nigga, buy your own damn corn.”

  35. PsycGirl

    [re=404239]Hooray For Anything[/re]: But what about President Jenna Jamison? I heard her video chats are quite memorable.

  36. LoweredPeninsula

    This has nothing to do with anything, but Diane Sawyer just did a tease for a GMA story titled “Mom fights off cougar to save child.” That must have been one determined 40-something. That said, I’d much rather be tangled up with a Cougar than a PUMA.

  37. tootsieroll

    I just fired this off to my kid’s school principals because we got the “We are letting the teachers decide to show the speech” letter this weekend.

    “I am mostly writing this to vent my disgust and actually show some support for the President of the United States. I can’t believe my school district even has to acknowledge this ridiculous, manufactured “controversy” over President Obama giving a “back to school” address to the children of America. There was a time when such an occasion would be a celebrated as a lesson in civics and pride. It’s unfortunate that a few paranoid, ignorant cage-rattlers have to ruin something nice for the rest. It’s their children who probably need to see and hear the President the most.

    I sincerely hope my children’s teacher’s are of the enlightened, progressive, educated mind to show the address, because I for one, want my kids to see it. But what recourse do I have, since the bitters have had their say.”

    And I guess since the transcript has come out, mainstream conservatives have come out to say “oh it’s fine, it’s a good speech” blah blah. But the damage is done. Glenn Beck isn’t going to come on air today and say, “I was wrong, it’s all good.”. Douchbags.

  38. Captain Swing

    That there are clowns like The Shadow in positions of authority in a system responsible for preparing young people for adult citizenship is down right scary.

    Has this numbnuts ever actually listened to an address by his President? If he had, he would have a fair idea what his message to the students would be:

    “You guys are going to be running this joint one day, so don’t piss away your chance for an education- Because that’s the only way you are truly going to have a say in how it is run. Become citizens, (people who participate ), as opposed to remaining consumers (those who passively swallow any crap shovelled down their throats). Education actually gives you control over your own destiny.”

    Or maybe he has listened – and it’s the last part that he (and the whining wingnuts) fear so much. Educated people are harder to scare, and even harder to con. Educated people tend to treat the likes of Palin, Rush Limpdick, Gingrich, Noonington, Faux News “journalists” and such as nothing but buffoons, fit only to lambasted on communist Muslin intertube sites like Wonkette… and that’s a message we can believe in.

  39. plowman

    [re=404264]QueenOfTheDamned[/re]: This is a lost hope moment for me as well, there’s the loud 25% on the right that actually believe Beck, et al, as well as the equally loud 25% on the left accusing anyone who disagrees with Hopey of being racist, ‘assholes’, etc. that makes rational debate impossible, not that there’s much to debate about ANY president talking to students. It’s hard to find much humor in this story though Sud’s Crista McAliffe comment is pretty smarmy…

  40. WIDTAP

    [re=404238]O_o[/re]: Regarding racism – sorry, they are too stupid to be that focused. It’s generalized xenophobia: Dark skinned people, Spanish speakers, anything “other”.

    …and if you think this crew is apoplectic now, just wait until we tell them we are going to sleep with their daughters.

  41. supremecourtjester

    This tea bagger’s response to President Obama’s Message to School Children is brought to you by Lipton’s Tea–and is entitled ” Your Future Is in the Bag!” Get it, kids?

    Welcome back to school for the academic school year 2009-2010, children. Wow–it’s been almost six thousand years since God created the Universe and a small percentage of you kids are our voters of the future. We think you should not listen to President Obama’s Socialist Agenda of working hard and trying to succeed no matter who you are. That just isn’t the America we know and love.

    In our America you get ahead not because of what you know but because of who you know. That’s right–it’s your family’s connections that matter, and not how well you do in school. You can have a “permanent record” as mediocre as our last president–but if you have family connections you can get into a prestigious college (even if you can’t spell “prestigious”) and could even be governor or president some day. Make sure that if you do, you have the minimal skills to read childrens’ books about goats to elementary school children when you visit–if presidents are permitted to visit schools after talk radio gets finished complaining about the Obama speech.

    So our first word of advice to you is to select your parents and grandparents wisely. Make sure they have lots of money and good connections. That’s what’s counted in America up to now–and if talk radio and a conservative Supreme Court can fend off the Socialistic plans to give poor people health care and stuff like that, in the future America may be what it once was before–socially conscious.

    If you choose your ancestors wisely, you won’t have to get your hands dirty with manual labor–you can become unspeakably rich on Wall Street selling imaginary securities to the pension plans of people who do have to get their hands dirty–if there will be any of them left in this country. Well, someone has to clear the paper jam in the copier and change the toner cartridge.

    We know we told you that no child would be left behind–but we were talking about social promotion. When the rapture comes a lot of you will be left behind if you believe in things like evolution and the big bang theory and other things they’ll try to indoctrinate you with in public schools.

    So remember kids–stay in school because if Barack Obama continues this recession, there sure won’t be any jobs for you out there–and he’s already spent your inheritance on loans to the big banks, so there’s no use trying to eek out a living, because it will only go in taxes to pay for extravagant benefits for the poor. Stay in school–those will be the best years of your lives! Our policies can guarantee it !

  42. Dustin de Wynde

    When it comes to “Indoctrinating” America’s Dearly Beloved and Sainted School Children, First Vice Lady, Ph.D Mrs. Lynne Cheney wrote the book:

    http://tinyurl.com/njctkw

    Actually she wrote 6 of those Bad Boys.

    And they got widely distributed in America’s classrooms.

    My fave is her first book, published in 2002, about six months after teh 9/!!zszs1!,

    “America: A Patriotic Primer”

    Might not have been Mandatory to ram it down the throats of America’s Precious young School Childrensez, but would you say NO to the Cheneys?

    Thought so.

    How she found the time to do all that writing between her Vice Lady Duties and her side job at AEI speaks of just how dedicated to ‘improving’ the minds of America’s youth she is, doesn’t it?

    The Iconography is just awesome.

    It totally reminds me of the artwork my East German cousins got from their Soviet Overlords that I saw when I was a kid when I used to visit them at the height of the Cold War in the 1970s/80s.

  43. lazynamepicker

    This is pretty much what is happening in our school district, and it is a VERY liberal district (Iowa City). I’m guessing the GOP outcry has pretty much shut down the possibility that most kids will see this speech as part of the regular school day. A crying shame, really, because it’s a great speech.

  44. rocktonsammy

    Since Cosby is the only colored guy on tee vee, the school district didn’t want to shock their students.

    The school district I work for is duct taping kids to their seats. I teach Phys. Ed., I’m going out and getting drunk.

  45. WuzzyWoozle

    No snark here, just shock and sadness.

    I’m on the west side suburbs of Detroit. Blue state, no question.

    Yet, local school districts are backing away from this like it was swine flu.

    What the hell has happened to this country?

    Why doen’t Obama tell the GOP: “Enough of this shit, STFU, and here’s what we’re gonna do.”

    He has wasted his mandate on attempting to be a unifying centrist.

    dumbfounded…

  46. DoctorCulturae

    The dirty secret is that politics all across education has been and continues to be just as heinous, petty, and insufferably stuck as what goes on in DC & WS. What gets the wingnut’s goat (as it were) is that the President’s simple Eisenhower/Kennedy-esque message reveals their inane hypocrisies. It cuts too close for them, when they think they may have him on the run. It’s only race-baiting if it works to stir the base. Hopey is unearthing and exposing rotten values by using, dare I say in Wonketteland, wholesome ones.

    Cliff Huxtable cannot be moved.

  47. Mr_Deadite

    Sorry to go off-topic here, but were you all watching Blago on The Today Show just now? All I can say is: LO-fuckin-L. The man is Clay Davis incarnate.

  48. slavojzizek

    Obama’s speech should consist of exactly two parts:

    Part one: hypnotize the nation’s school children, and the teachers and administrators for good measure (although most of them are communist muslims, obviously).

    Part two: “If your parents were among those disrupting the town hall meetings, report them immediately so we can send someone to pick them up and bring them to their new home in the country where they will have plenty of room to run free.”

  49. Below the Beltway

    News flash to regressives, Shaddows, and whatever Michelle Bachmann is — we (the people) elected Obambi to do shit you don’t like. If we wanted shit you like done, we would have put Snowbilly Barbie in charge. We know your school board outlawed civics, but — take our word for it — in a democracy the person elected does their thing even if those who opposed him don’t like it. See the invasions, torture, and the crashing of the financial system by the last administration as examples of shit your guy did that we didn’t like.

  50. Witsendnj

    I live in Hunterdon County and at great personal sacrifice paid for my 3 children to go to private school where they wouldn’t be infected by the bigots who dominate the schools and local government in this beautiful farming community.

  51. TGY

    [re=404258]Atheist Nun[/re]: Bah. Ken loves those threads. He uses a bit of inflammatory kindling to start them so that they’ll get the maximum number of tweets, and Wonkette won’t be a disgrace on Twitter.

  52. Crazybroad

    [re=404213]aleks[/re]: HAHA! Lest you doubt your second thoughts, try reading
    this or
    this. The backlash against “Obama indoctrination” in the schools comes as no surprise and is just the friggin’ cherry on top.

  53. Johnny Zhivago

    This all could have been avoided if Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber had been offered equal time to offer a counter to the “work hard, stay in school message”.

    A “screw off, get a judge to force you to join the army” or “get pregnant, eat Bon-Bons, watch Oprah” message would have been helpful…

  54. Car Ramrod

    I am completely against President Obama talking to my kids at school because — holy shit — this would mean that I have kids.

  55. Below the Beltway

    [re=404251]Boozeweek[/re]: He sure got it right on expanding Afghanistan, continuing to support Bushit’s fictional blanket exececutive privilege, and allowing literal war criminals to sit on the sidelines and fling poo at both him and us. But he’s playing 11-dimensional chess, right? By capitulating to the pharmaceutical industry with secret backroom deals, right? By allowing the remnants of the Cheney administration’s asswiping to remain smeared on the Bill of Rights by supporting “preventative detention” and military commissions? By compromising away single payer healthcare in order to get the votes of Grassley and Enzi, who will never ever vote for any healthcare reform worth a shit?

    Judge a person by their actions, not by blind faith. Cheney administration supporters did the latter. Thinking people don’t. Ever. For any politician. Obambi is your employee, not your father. Unconditional love is not only inappropriate, it’s counterproductive. Sorry for the lack of snark, but if you’re going to worship someone like a god at least have the grace to pick one of the more popular invisible sky men instead of a living guy. Worshiping a living guy makes you part of a cult. Worshiping the most popular invisible sky man makes you part of the majority.

  56. magic titty

    [re=404263]foog[/re]: Wow. That’s ignorant, that abbreviation. Anyone who types it should fuck off.

  57. rachelv

    I just found this on the Montgomery County, Maryland website:
    “The U.S. Department of Education has announced an address on September 8, 2009,
    by President Barack Obama to students about the importance of education
    (http://www.ed.gov/admins/lead/academic/bts.html). This is the first time that a president
    has ever spoken to students. We will honor students/families who wish not to hear the
    president’s address nor participate in this activity. We will use the same procedures for
    opting out as we use for our health education curriculum, Halloween activities, and/or
    birthday celebrations, by providing alternative activities for those students.”
    Two comments: (1) “This is the first time that a president has ever spoken to students.” No, it’s not.
    (2) They actually are putting this address in the same category as sex ed, Halloween and birthday parties.

  58. BlueStateLibtard

    [re=404251]Boozeweek[/re]: I’ve been thinking the exact same thing over the last few days. Nobody remembers the beating he took from Snow Billy and how everyone said he should “fight back” and blast her back. I don’t doubt that this will all play out to his advantage in the end.

  59. Dustin de Wynde

    [re=404295]WuzzyWoozle[/re]: I voted with my feet for Germany, since we finally got our Nazi problem addressed.

    We should form a Wonketeers Sgt. Pepper’s All Star Lonely Hearts Ex-Pat Marching Band.

    I dibs the Jew’s Harp.

    Funny thing is I coulda walked during anytime under Herr El Presidente Busch’s Regime, but my gut told me to stick it out until after Mister Hopey dropped his right hand and said ‘So help me God…’ because it was going to get really bad then.

    Sucks to be right.

  60. QueenOfTheDamned

    [re=404283]plowman[/re]: And I think we owe that in large part to 20 years of nonstop Jerry Springer and “reality” shows. Screaming is so much easier and funner than thinking.

  61. snarkistani refugee

    I was listening to NPR’s “What Do You Know?” over the weekend, and they were setting this story up [straight] for one of their game-show questions. When the announcer just said “Florida Republican Party,” there was a gentle twitter of laughter. When he said, “…keeping their children home from school that day,” the place erupted, as if he had delivered a zinging punchline. He hadn’t even gotten to the comedic material yet.

    My point is, a sufficient percentage of the population–even the precious “middle”–recognizes what a travesty this is. But if WE get our undies in a bunch because THEY get their undies in a bunch, we lose the day.

    Wingnuttery makes good teevee, just like eating slugs, runway models slipping on the catwalk, police chases, and blooper reels.

    Anger, fear and stupidity are sub-human planes of existence. Calmness, reason and patience are always more powerful in the end, but they don’t sell much car insurance or boner pills.

  62. friendlyskies

    Public schools: $750b per year.
    Obama Speechwriter: $250,000 per year
    Time spent calling each other Nazis, communists, rednecks, and racists, calculated at minimum wage: $14.9b
    Expense of photocopying and distributing “opt-out” letters: $490,000
    Right-wing reaction to getting punk’d by the most milquetoast speech in US history: Priceless

    Obama: Point, set, and match. Next up, healthcare reform!

  63. AKAM80TheWolf

    Et tu NJ? Vorhees is full of rich people, and you’d think rich people would want the message of hard work and personal responsibility to gush forth. What? Oh the guy has to be white for it to count? Oh ok.

  64. Prommie

    Christie Whitman lives in Shaddoe’s district, is his problem. I like the way he brandishes his PhD, so proud that he is superior to those sad and pathetic EdDs. Ah, the only time I am glad to have my little JD is when I am dealing with school administrators, it is their kryptonite, they fear it like nothing else.

  65. QueenOfTheDamned

    [re=404268]missannethrope[/re]: Yep, pretty much my mindset. And the sad thing is that I actually have money and property that could be “used for good” after I shuffle off this mortal coil. I used to feel that I had a responsibility to distribute it wisely. But considering the flaming a-holes deluxe that make up a large part of the human race, I’m starting to be all “screw that.”

    I’m thinking instead I may have the bank give me everything in twenties. Then I’ll go stand in front of the nearest corporate office/Republican Party recruitment center/Big Liars Club also known as a church, and have myself a huge bonfire. I want them to smell what they really worship going up in smoke. I know these people, and there’s not much Christian thought running through their heads. That action, and the delight I’d take in it, might send me straight to Hell, but, hey, wherever they’re not.

  66. Oldskool

    I know Barry knows what he’s doing, he proved that in the campiagn, but even if this turns into a net win on one level he’s losing the decibel war to the lowbrows. John Kerry proved what a bad idea that is. The higher the decibel, the higher the number of people who think something must be wrong. I believe it’s covered in Karl Rove’s playbook “Politics For Dumbasses”.

  67. Norbert

    [re=404248]PhyrePhox[/re]: Welcome to the Toronto branch of Wonkette. Yeah, too bad about the weather here but I’ve been meaning to ask you, about the USofA, what the fuck?!?

    [re=404256]Atheist Nun[/re]: well put

  68. Manos: Hands of Fate

    What the hell? My teacher made me write letters to President Reagan telling him to get better from whatever surgery he was having at the time. Not that I protested, I mean he was president and seemed like a nice old man. But now I’m a deranged wingnut, scared for life. Where were my advocates?

  69. S.Luggo

    North Hunterdon-Voorhees is in Hunterdon County, New Jersey, the Orange County of the North East. In 2008, McCain defeated the Negro fella there by a 13.3% margin. In 2008, 40 quiche-fork stabbing were reported in the county.

    And we’re surprised by this school district?

  70. PerhapsSo

    Personally, I locked my kids in the closet this morning to protect them from socialism. Oh, wait, I don’t have kids. So whose kids are in my closet?

  71. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=404264]QueenOfTheDamned[/re]: Hey, welcome aboard. We’ve been pretty much drunk and angry about this for… I don’t know, what is it now? FIVE AND A HALF YEARS or something?

  72. slappypaddy

    [re=404353]QueenOfTheDamned[/re]: that’s a terribly cruel thing to do to innocent young twenties (even if they do have the picture of a psychopath on them). send them to me, i can use them for an extremely localized economic stimulus. and it’ll trickle down.

  73. Suds McKenzie

    [re=404261]foog[/re]: It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times. A thousand monkeys working for a thousand years …

  74. HillaryIsMyHomegirl

    As someone else pointed out administrators are the most gutless idiots in the world when it comes to these issues. I was not surprised by this at all. I know someone personally who has served as the local school board’s attorney/counsel (and in a diff NJ area no less) for many years and you wouldn’t believe the questions/complaints he deals with all because some wacko parent made a phone call to the vice principle. Also I doubt this will prevent the children from seeing anything as they will probably now be stuck at home with their nanny’s (which is necessary to live in rich douchey Vorhees) today who will inevitably put this on the tube for them

  75. El Pinche

    -Don’t pay taxes

    -Don’t go to school

    -Secede from the union (6 months later, you’d think “patriots” would take longer to break up with amerka)

    -Fuck the president

    -Fuck poor amerkin people with no health care

    -Fuck our troops (what happened to all support the troops stuff? I see faded ribbons withering away on pickups and minivans. I guess Wifeswap and Teabaggin are more important these days)

    -Don’t participate in the census

    Republicans are good at one thing and that’s unifying and making a clear message:

    “God Damn America, Forever”

  76. iolanthe

    [re=404263]foog[/re]: I’m always surprised at the way so many Youngs are absolutely *proud* of their terribly short attention spans. “Too hip and young and busy to think or read or analyze or pay any fucking attention to anything that can’t just mentally suck me off in under ten seconds! Go, *ME*!”

    I’d stop bragging about that, Fetuses.

  77. DP

    “The purpose of the President’s speech is to “urge students to take personal responsibility for their own education, to set goals, and to not only stay in school but make the most of it” (according to the White House website).

    We would like to inform you that the North Hunterdon-Voorhees Regional High School District will not mandate that the speech be shown to our students during school.”

    WTF. This letter snarks itself.

  78. DP

    oh, yeah… I’ve worked in Jersey public schools for over 20 years (still sane, I think) and this Education PhD. administrator, pencil pushing, gasbag is quite typical of that ilk. Most administrators I’ve encountered, especially the central office types, moved up the ladder in the first place only because they couldn’t hack it in the classroom.

    I’ll bet this Shaddow couldn’t teach a baby to soil a diaper.

  79. Zorg

    OMG! A big ol’ black colored man sayin’ such a thing about real Americans usin’ his big ol’ giblet lips on the teevee! That’s why I’m not gonna let little Listereen and Johnny Wayne-Bob go to school tomorrow! Who knows what that Muslin Negroe in the White House will put in their poor, tiny little White Christian brains using secret Muslin code words and such! Glenn Beck, save us! Oh, what will we ever do? Where will we ever go? I want my country back!!!!

  80. sweet old bob

    [re=404213]aleks[/re]: As a former high school teacher, my best advice to you would be to change your career field before it is too late even if it involves truck driving school.

  81. sweet old bob

    [re=404347]Prommie[/re]: I’m posting too much, but I wonder if he has an Ed.D. and just doesn’t realize it?

  82. DangerousLiberal

    [re=404214]artbot2000[/re]: Does this guy really have a Ph.D? Or one of those Ed.D. degrees that they hand out dime a dozen at fourth-rate ed schools so that teachers can be principals?

    [re=405079]sweet old bob[/re]: Exactly. And intelligence (and even literacy) is not a prerequisite for earning an Ed.D. When I was in grad school working toward my real Ph.D., we used to joke about “let’s get our Ed.D. this weekend. And then we’ll find something to do on Sunday.”

    Even if Doctor Whoozit has a Ph.D., it’s no substitute for basic good judgment. Quel putz.

  83. DangerousLiberal

    [re=404248]PhyrePhox[/re]: Also, where’s the Chipotle? I will move to that neighborhood. I was just in your fair city, and the biggest kerfluffle then was the ex-AG killing the drunk bike messenger, and that nutty professor getting all Prime Ministerial and shit. I can live with that–it’s the mouthbreathers, dipshits, and teabaggers that are driving me fucking nuts.

    Although if you let that Texan/Albertan PM of yours stay around for too long, CTV will start letting Don Cherry do political commentary. Please, act quickly.

  84. Witsendnj

    Actually fellow snarkers – those who mention the wealth of Voorhees – the town is nowhere near the North Hunterdon-Voorhees school district. Hunterdon County is mostly farms and, although the eastern edge is quite expensive to buy property (as one poster correctly pointed out, Christine Whitman lives in Hunterdon County but quite literally on the eastern border with Somerset County – and she sent her kids to private schools of course anyway, so I doubt the spineless Superintendent of Schools had her in mind when he sent out his mewling missive) much of the county population have means that are quite modest.

    They just don’t like black people.

  85. Corzine Beard

    Damn, I’d expect something like this to happen in Warren County, but this is a little too close to home.
    By the way, I graduated from nearby Hunterdon Central. They managed to avoid any chances of shooting themselves in the foot by having the first day on the 9th.

  86. Pittsburgh58

    What the “ignorant and proud of it” crowd doesn’t get is that Republicans decided years ago that they wanted to cultivate the dumb, prejudiced, and close-minded because then they could sell their ridiculous philosophy that as long as rich people get richer everybody should be happy. Let’s make fun of pointy headed Ivy League types, let’s stoke racial hatred by calling out the “Welfare Queens”, let’s see who is more Christian than who, it just goes on and on. Who else would vote for W, a man who cannot speak one coherent sentence. Of course they are hysterical that someone might deliver a message that would wake their drooling spawn out of their stupor and actually develop an intelligent and inquisitive mind-it would spell the end of the far right.

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