Wonkette
Cut it out, Wonkett! Cindy McCain’s really really upset. She gave an interview to People about her barfy headaches and said funny things and all *you* people did was LAUGH at these funny things. Now she is raising an army of devils, to kill everyone.
Why must she disseminate this popular hate speech about blogers? Is that really a nice thing to do? She is probably just having a migraine.
[Twitter]
They’re plenty real, unlike the little pink Christina Aguilera monsters that appear when you take 10x the normal dosage of Cougar’s Little Helpers.
You certainly wouldn’t like it when I’m angry…
Cindy’s the She Hulk?
The cure for migraines is to stop reading blogs. And never think about bloggers in their underwear hiding in their parents’ basement because that will make you puke.
Is a Migraineur like a Uighur?
Oh, the migraines are real, all right. Nothing funny about them at all. What was funny was how People Magazine thought anybody would give a shit about Cindy McCain’s terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad life now. Or ever. Funny as hell that this went over her head. But I like to think she got my message about laying off the bon-bons, because that would be healthy, and only a friend will tell you these things.
LEAVE CINDY ALONE.
Allstate has decided to Advertise in Spanish on Wonkett in Solidarity with the Panamanian Pill Poppers.
Those eyes…those lifeless eyes. Pale eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When she twats at ya, she doesn’t seem to be living - until she gets angry at ya, and those pale eyes roll over bloodshot..
PrairiePossum:
Hey I resent that. I don’t wear underwear.
well, she’s giving ME a headache, that’s for sure.
Knob Gobbler: Yes, they’re both French.
FOUR AND A HALF TWEETS ALAN!
I guess migraneurs are like connoisseurs of headaches?
The headaches are probably caused by overly tightened face skin. Loosen up McCain.
Jeebus, lady, take a chill pill.
What?
Oh. Never mind.
JooJoo Bee: Cindy Lou is just too damn fucking retarded to understand, much less anticipate, the class hatred she so obliviously inspires. She’d make a good sister for Cinderella.
inglourious migraneurs
Some people aren’t sophisticated enough to have migraines.
Cindy, that migraine is nothing that the poolboy’s cock can’t fix. Just call immigration and have them send a few over.
I guess the liberal migraneurs who have no health insurance are just shit out of luck, right Cindy ‘Mafia daughter’ McCain?
what does “tears lost weight” mean anyway?
and wow, five angry tweets at 2 in the morning– did she collapse in pain after that or was there more?
Suffering migraines a joke? No.
Equating migraines with torture and humiliation a joke. Yes.
For clarification on this issue, Cindy, please consult your husband.
Good thing she has rich people insurance so she can afford all those fancy drugs! We should just give uninsured people Twitter accounts. That would solve everything.
ManchuCandidate:
All Wonketteers should celebrate the end of summer and start of the 3 day holiday by commenting commando style - AVERT YOUR EYES CINDY!
You shit on your husband’s real torture experience by saying you know what he went though because you have a migraine? And those blogers are so mean and nasty that they give you a migraine? Little uncomfy in that migraine tiger cage Cin?
Does Cindy always twat at 2:30 AM?
You know who’s giving me a headache?? That one!
Migraines are really bad for your spelling capabilities, Wonkett blogers, so just shut up OK???
And you wouldn’t like Cindy when she’s angry.
I propose that anyone who uses the term “the blogs” in a pejorative way like that gets and instant ticket to NeverTakenSeriouslyVille.
Migraineurs of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your synfire chains.
Cindy knows that I sit around in the basement in my underwear? Cindy, how many fingers am I holding up now? No, not counting the big digit that my fingers are wrapped around.
If she only stopped shoveling in the pills with a trowel like a trollop, the cunt!
Clancy_Pants: Today, we are all migraineurs.
SouthernDem: Only when she’s out of oxycontin and gin.
What if she had revised her statement thusly: “Having a migraine isn’t as bad as being tortured, but it’s pretty close”?
Good lord, that “woman” has eyes like the Gorgon Medusa.
I hope those SEALs wear goggles.
Beer or otherwise.
“Those of us that suffer need help.” From who? The GUVMINT??!? SOCIALIST!!!!!!
You know what that pain between your eyes is, Cindy? It’s Vicki Iseman, clawing and scratching to get out.
Isn’t Cindy the migranee?
Or maybe the trollopeur, or cunteur.
You know what’s worse than being a migraineur Cindy? Being a migraineur without health insurance and/or a vast personal fortune. Either remind your uncaring husband about that or add some dicks in with your pills.
Nice sensibilities, Cindy — and I thought your hands were the most brittle thing about you.
My migraines are no joke either, but I have health insurance, so I saw a neurologist, had a 1 hr. work-up, numerous follow-ups and went through 6(!) prescriptions before I found one that works. How do you do that without health insurance Cindy? Huh?
But who are the migraineurs planning to ban? And will it be a pounding or hammering or a searing ban?
That confirms that she is indeed “reptilian”.
Cindy, just stay away from the Wonkett. It’s not good for you or your delicate head. We’re the kind of underwearing basement-dwellers that could even make a joke about your Twitter handle: “Cindyhm1″. See what I mean? It’s no use. Just don’t come back here again.
” . . . bloggers in their underwear in their basements . . .” I’ll have you know that I’m actually outside — completely naked.
WIDTAP: I’ve had migraines for 25 years, hospitalizations included. I got a horrendous one when I was 38 weeks pregnant, doctors tried 30 times to do a spinal tap to make sure baby was OK; turns out it’s too hard to do a spinal tap on an extremely pregnant woman. Was migraining for 3 days.
I’ve also had adhesion surgery while I was awake, with only partial, local, anesthesia, skin only, and I was feeling pretty much everything, ’cause they had to find out exactly where to cut internally. One nurse was begging the surgeon to knock me out, it was so awful.
I’ve gone through a lot medically. But would I ever say my experiences were torture? No, because the doctors, even the shitty ones, were on my side. No one ever threatened to kill me. The migraines were never gonna kill me. I never sat in a cage. I was always in the U.S. And on and on.
Oh, what’s the point. The stupid cunt doesn’t get it. I don’t know how John doesn’t just strangle the bitch.
Cindy, who should get the ban hammer? Maybe we should have a contest where she can ban one of us, but only after she has to read what we think of her.
Ha–it proves what I have always thought. Cindy reads Wonkette! But does she post?
Among the hoi polloi they’re called a “hang over.”
Blogs which Cindy McCain reads don’t believe in migraines. However, they do tend to believe in these interesting sippets: the book of revelations as a literal description of the apocalypse, Intelligent Design as “the only possible explanation” for the creation of the universe, Obama is a Muslin, and Heinz Ketchup causes cancer in feti.
Little known fact: Migraines also lead to an extreme lack of proper punctuation and excessive granfaloonery.
This humorless wench ought to thank heaven that a collection of people find anything that remotely involves her as funny.
Her twat, however, is actually more funny than anything YOU said about it, Ms. Wonkett Bloger.
Katydid: Just one more thing. I didn’t have the migraines - or the surgery - in the fucking HANOI HILTON. I’m thinking that would have been worse.
Cindy, the Hanoi Hilton is kinda like the Hilton Scottsdale Resort & Villas. Only the room service in Hanoi comes with complimentary enraged North Vietnamese soldiers who want to hurt, maim and kill you for bombing their country.
Put on some pants, Newell.
What a moran. Most of us are at our desks working for the federal government, in our underwear. Those of us in basements (our parents or our own) are not wearing underwear.
Whyinhell is she up at 2:00 - 2:30 am? No wonder she gets migraines. Get some sleep, lady!
proudgrampa: All free people, wherever they may live, could get migranes, and, therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words “Ich bin ein migraineur.”
Every day, I try to stop. It’s such a painful struggle. And every day some silly whore of a republican has to come along, dump a dead horse at my feet and put a big-ass stick in my hand.
Oh shit, there it is again. I just called a group of people, collectively like, silly whores. And who’s a part of that group? Oh hell, will the cycle never end?
(hope not…I likes it rough)
Underwear? Sorry, I have nothing on from the waist down.
Oh, how I adore Cindy’s late night drunken wonkett h8 sessions via the twitter!
Lord, I am afflicted by a bald patch.
I’ll have her know I’m not wearing any underwear. So there!
Katydid: ow! i got a headache just reading that. but it’s not a migraine. migraines ain’t funny, or so i hear, though i’m feeling a giggle welling up.
so, cindy sweetie, tell me, which hurts worse: being hung from the ceiling by your broken arms, having a migraine, or receiving repeated virtual dope-slaps upside the virtual head. because the third of those three is probably what’s going to befall you in wonkettia. didn’t you know that? if i were a famous public person, i might be real careful before equating anything with torture if i hadn’t suffered torture myself. especially if my own government was torturing people and claiming it wasn’t. that’s free advice, cindy sweetie, and you probably could have got it from your husband.
“bloggers in their underwear in their basements”
FOR THE LAST TIME THEY’RE CALLED SNUGGIES!!! And what are YOU doing reading these insane bloggers anyhow, Cindy? Trying out a new pair of Depends in your fancy-schmancy wine cellar??? HUH?!
Cindy, honey, if you want to form a question, put a question mark at the end of it, like this:
How many of you think migraines are a joke or not real?
There’s a good girl.
You’re welcome!
Unfair! I for one said NOTHING about migraines, but I DID say that she looked like an eye-laser shooting robot……
Maybe by complaining about migraines, Cindy is just trying to be more human–
“Cindy McCain Just Like Any Other Female Human”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W15ucMZ8V-c
From the “People” McCain / migraine article: “McCain will address the International Headache Congress on Sept. 10 in Philadelphia.”
Bet that’s a fun bunch! Who else wants to show and make sure there’s lots of microphone feedback throughout the whole thing??
Cindy just needs to find the dilaudid. That’s what I got for the worst migraine of my life, and in minutes I was singing and tap dancing around the ER. Then I slept for a day and a half, but man, that was the shit! They should put that in the water supply so everyone shuts up about Obama indoctrinating litties into being pinko commies.
Oh wait, she’s all 12-step now. Nevermind.
“Hospitalizations, tears, lost weight…”
How is this different from every summer of her life?
I get migraines. No, they aren’t funny. If I was having a migraine and someone laughed at me I’d probably…do nothing. I’m usually under the covers in a darkend room with plenty of medication. Which doesn’t sound that bad, now that I write it. But, yes, migraines are very hurty.
However, I think that Cindy can afford to have a special ‘Migraine” house built for her in Shangra la, with a bevy of young Tibetian boys gently rubbing her temples with peppermint oil, while calming water chimes ease her into a relaxed state and her team of personal physicians provide all the western medication she would need. And then some.
Me being a poor, all I have are my Guns and my Gods.
So, to sum up. “Hahahaha…Cindy’s got a headache!!!!!!”
Don’t worry Cindy, I’d still totally do you even with your crappy boring headaches.
Dear Cougs,
It’s not the migraines we find so funny. It’s your comparison of them to torture that strikes us as hilarious. If you had read a newspaper in the past two years you would know that members of your political party actually kidnapped, tortured, and in some cases murdered people who scared them so badly that they wet their beds every night. Hearing some beer heiress compare her relatively trivial medical issues to actual torture is something we will laught about all night long, while drinking beers, creating profits that you will be able to use to medicate yourself into oblivion.
Respetfully,
Slouch
SlouchingTowardsWasilla: “laugh” and “Respectfully.” It’s very difficult to type when you’re drinking beer and laughing.
SlouchingTowardsWasilla: Respitefully?
If it isn’t proceeded by a visual disturbance, it’s probably a sinus headache. Get a neti pot and free yourself from the tyranny of the drug manufacturers! We sinus sufferers must ban together! Or something. And if it is a migraine, quit the the starbucks, it’s killing you.
“San Diego Bay is alive with activity. Getting ready for so many returning sailors and marines” .12:48 PM Jul 30th from TwitterBerry
Yeah, that’s what I thought…
I get migraines…I hate migraines…Migraines are real and they are evil hijackers who f’ up your day and sometimes your week/month/year, but I would never in a million years compare my suffering to that of a political prisoner, and that is my problem with you, Cindy Lou Who.
Pitty the migraineuse (those of us who went to exclusive private schools know that migraineuse is the fem. of migraineur) whose never done anything wrong, never been poor. Migraines, unlike the military, can’t be avoided with a little cash from daddy. I feel your pain, Cindy.
NY Times: “Plastic Surgery May Also Ease Migraines”
Seems the healthcare industry is to rich, bored housewives like Cindy McCain as pantlessness is to bloggers.
Pre-existing condition, you own it, Cindy.
Not tonight , Walnuts, I have a….
hundred million bucks
I have migraines. Cindy, do you know what makes it even worse? When you have a migraine, but have to drag yourself into work because if you don’t show up, you don’t get paid, and the shitty insurance you have will eat that much more of a percentage of your paycheck.
I doubt you would understand that particular aspect, though.
What if you had a really bad headache, AND there was somebody pouring water into your lungs.
I bet that would really suck
This makes her angry?
Big surprise.
Cindy Lou boo-hoo-hoo must have gotten hedz-ups from Sarah P. on all those blogger-hater types, makin’ stuff up and hurtin’ America.
Betch, please. Knock back a Seroquel with that mini-bottle of Sutter Home in your claw, toss it on top of the others in the pile in the back of the golf cart, and maybe you’ll stop giving yourself so many head ouchies by trying to calculate how you’ll manage to wear all your summer whites by sundown on Monday. Oops, sorry, forgot about how you’re all touchy about pills these days.
Jesus, Cindy. Migraines are terrible. I’ve suffered from them for nearly 50 years (including some 3-day-specials that *seemed* like 50 years, all by themselves.)
But at least no one’s giving another person a migraine *on purpose*. Yeesh. Comparing a migraine to torture is just stupid.
And let me tell you what I did when my Imitrex prescription stopped working:
I got a prescription for Cali-semi-legal Cannabis Cookies.
One cookie + one Imitrex works better than 4 Imitrex, or any of the other things they used to throw at me.
Tell all your Drug Warrior Authoritarian friends.
has anyone suggested a lobotomy?
WE ARE ALL ANGRY MIGRANERS NOW!