Wonkette
- FINALLY: Famous dead Jackson, Michael Jackson, was buried in the ground outside Los Angeles last night. [New York Times]
- Some Obama cabinet members, like America’s Vice President Joe Biden, are hesitant about sending more troops to Afghanistan, while other people are not hesitant at all about doing this. A nation waits for George Will’s “tiebreaker.” [New York Times]
- California has officially created “Harvey Milk Day,” which honors Harvey Milk, who starred in last year’s overrated Sean Penn biopic. [Los Angeles Times]
- The terrible wildfire that has enveloped the entirety of northern Los Angeles is the work of an arsonist! And now this arsonist is technically a murderer! [Reuters]
- Congratulations to Ahmad Vahidi, Iran’s first lady defense minister and its first lady defense minister who also worked with Hezbollah. This is a crucial step in the struggle for women’s/alleged terrorists’ rights. [CNN]
- Having enriched a bunch of uranium as enriched as it will go, North Korea is THISCLOSE to making a nuclear bomb. [Washington Post]
I’m anti-death penalty, but burning at the stake would be too good for this arsonist.
Are with done with Michael Jackson now or will his tacky family force those kids to endure one more funeral? It’s three and counting, I think.
Great, why doesn’t the press just tell all the grave robbers where to find Michael’s buried treasure
If it’s entombed (great word) in a mausoleum, it’s not really underground, is it, Wonkette? More like inside a huge tasteless monument to money. http://www.seeing-stars.com/imagepages/ForestLawnGreatMausoleumPhoto.shtml
Would setting a fire that envelopes the better part of a mountain range just to kill two firemen reach the level of over-elaborateness (yes, that’s a word — look it up) that is necessary for a James Bond film-style murder?
This seems like a perfect moment to revisit the Minutemen album ‘What Makes a Man Start Fires’.
(The answer: socialism.)
ONE DAY (Hel-loh), Kim Jong Il will get a nuclear warhead that will actually work, a missile that doesn’t break up in mid flight and a guidance system that will put said warhead on what it is supposed to target. And on that day North Korea will show the world how powerful an impoverished insane asylum with no food will be (and get revenge on the Bluths for stealing his grandpa’s frozen banana stand.)
But that day is not today.
Praise be to Allah that I will not have to read (much more) about Michael Jackson (except for his siblings continuing to cash in on his lucrative brand) for awhile.
Ooh. Now is so the time to attack Iran, seeing as how they’ve put a WOMAN in charge of the military. What’s she going to do after we bomb? Complain how we don’t ever consider her feelings, then go watch a Lifetime movie while eating a gallon of Edys straight from the carton?
Many employment counsellors will tell you to put that “worked with Hezbollah” information on page 2 of your resume.
looks like michael got out of here just in the nick of time. go, bird, go.
Mild Midwesterner: The two firemen died when they drove off the side of a road as they were on the way to the fire (actually, it was the 800 foot fall that killed them as a result of driving off the roadway). Still, if it turns out to be some kids with a poorly sealed bong full of Bicardi 151 then of course, death penalty, no question.
The deeper question is how much sense does it really make for so many people to try to live in a desert? I realize nobody want to live in Arkansas but it does occasionally rain there (without causing mudslides).
Actually, Little Rock is pretty nice.
Kingbee:
Not so fast there Mr. Bee. The Church of Michael is soon coming to your town. They’ll be moon walking to your door and asking if you have read The Book of Michael right when you’re sitting down to eat your dinner.
Manslaughterer, baby; don’t exaggerate.
According to unnamed sources, Jacko was laid to rest in a children’s cemetery.
dijetlo: When you rape the Colorado River, you can live in any environment you want.
WestEdEd: Well they can’t all live in Little Rock, Ed. That’s just unrealistic. Somebody is going to have to make the sacrifice and move up into the “hollers” with the cannibal inbreds and personally I think it should be the yahoos from Orange county.
Seriously, if any demographic would enjoy being told “you got a pretty mouth” by a toothless, one-eye hillbilly in unzipped overalls, it’s them.
dijetlo: Hey now, I live in the “hollers” in Arkansas and I really resen… Actually you described us damn near perfectly. You spend much time down here? Do you have a pretty mouth?
I hate the deads.
Monsieur Grumpe: They’ll get the same reception that everybody else gets.
Kingbee:
You mean take off your clothes, put on a housecoat (open), crack open a beer, light a smoke and answer the door?
In university, that was how a housemate of mine drove away Jehovahs.
dijetlo: 800 feet? Jesus christ. And no, it makes no sense to live in the desert. But it’s CA. Nothing makes sense there.
OMFG Ahmad Vahidi is totally a dude. The chick is Marzieh-Vahid Dastjerdi. duh.
Harvey Milk? Wasn’t he a close friend of The Batman’s?
Poopley J. Crandleberry: And she is the Health Minister, not the Defense Minister.
sham69: Detail, details. The important thing is Amahdi has someone to bring him tea & rub his bunions.
proudgrampa: ditto
dijetlo: RE: desert point, you might like this
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/31/AR2009083102910.html
Famous dead Jackson, Michael Jackson, was buried in the ground outside Los Angeles last night.
Update: Los Angeles wild fires skirt cemetery to avoid having to lick Jackson’s body.
Crap — submitted my comment too quickly. It was my daughter’s civics teacher who inspired me in the wisdom of immediately discounting any opinion that falls short of agreeing completely with my own. She (the teacher) has pointed out to her 7th-grade class that Obama likely is not an American, is definitely a socialist, and his speech next week is just indoctrination and will not be shown in her class. I’ve offered to submit her name to the death panels, which did not amuse the school principal. I think it’s time to accept that Idaho blows donkey nuts and needs to be kicked out of the union. We make Texans look intelligent.
Fuck me, that comment is on the wrong page. I’m going back to drinking for the morning — I’m obviously beyond thinking.
I trust they cut off MJ’s head and drove a stake through his heart to prevent him from coming back into the news…
MJ was not buried under the ground. He was enshrined above ground in a mausoleum. This will allow him easier access when he returns to this world upon the initiation of the Second Coming. He will be in charge of ‘rapturing’ all Christian children (read: little boys) while Jesus gets to take the adults.