Wonkette
We’ve been waiting to write a headline like that for years! People are now EATING EACH OTHERS’ DIGITS over health care reform and other pieces of legislation and whatever that none of them probably understand.
This is in Thousand Oaks, California, which we thought was on fire or something…?? Here’s a weird way to introduce things:
About 100 protesters sponsored by MoveOn.org were having a rally supporting health care reform. A group of anti-health care reform protesters formed across the street.
Is it accurate to label people who go to town halls “supporting health care reform” as “protesters?” They are just happy-happies! No, not that either. They are wacky monsters from the Internet, just like you and me.
Anyway. America on Wednesday, September 2, 2009:
About 100 protesters sponsored by MoveOn.org were having a rally supporting health care reform. A group of anti-health care reform protesters formed across the street.
A witness from the scene says a man was walking through the anti-reform group to get to the pro-reform side when he got into an altercation with the 65-year-old, who opposes health care reform.
The 65-year-old was apparently aggressive and hit the other man, who then retaliated by biting off his attacker’s pinky, according to Karoli from DrumsnWhistles.
The man took his finger and walked to Los Robles hospital for treatment.
We don’t know what “Karoli from DrumsnWhistles” means, either, and we’re not googling it. You should not google it either! One must preserve the mythology of this whole thing, when possible.
Man’s Finger Bitten Off in Scuffle at Health Care Rally [KTLA]
If he had it reattached by using Medicare, he’s a goddamned hypocrite.
I’ll be the first to say it: The birther/deathers/tenthers/dumbf*&s have always said that they wanted to give us the finger…
I hope that old dude had insurance. Oh, wait.
Aren’t these hippies supposed to be vegetarians?
That would be Bela Karoli, and DrumsnWhistles is some lame rhythmic gymnastics event on the order of the twirly ribbon/bouncy ball. You’re welcome.
They’re packaging this thing wrong. If they framed the issues correctly for the pro-reform and anti-reform people in a proper venue, like an arena, this could be better than robot fighting. Think ‘Medieval Times’ with biting, and assault weapons.
Not surprising, really. Michelle Bachmann told them to start fasting something like 2 weeks ago, so naturally the teabaggers still alive at this point must be well into the zombie phase.
If we can’t kill ‘em with the Death Panels, let’s eat the fuckers!
nbawriter: I just got a cramp from the irony.
Ugh. Old people fingers. So gross.
It’s all phony. That was either Zombie Jerry Garcia or Frodo.
Hoping the old coot has his socialised Medicare or sewing that pinky back on is gonna cost an arm and a leg. Badum-bum. Try the veal, I’ll be here all week…
Soylent Green(TM) chicken fingers.
“protesters sponsored by MoveOn.org” ?????
How hysterical is Fox News about this right now?
At the Joint Session address coming up, Obama should have the doors locked and Mike Tyson at his side.
Maryann from True Blood has joined the health care debate. It’s just her kind of social event.
Well, the old guy did offer him a “knuckle sandwich.”
I heard the biter was from Code Pinky
According to the video, Macy’s is having a sale on pinkies, so that is probably good news to Nine-Fingered Saul.
Are they sure the biter was with MoveOn.org, and not Code Pinky?
Holy fuck. Now I’m hungry and all I can get at ShoMars is Chicken Fingers. I’m gonna wander uptown and bite a random old’s nose off. ‘Cept I’m swallowing and he can try to reattach it after I poop it out, Wackenhut style. With Medicare. Cuz he’s OLD. The good news is with no nose he won’t smell where it …oh never mind. Also.
Fuck these anti-reform hypocrites. Old Man Stinky is fortunate his attacker didn’t do more harm and render him unable to eat anything more chewy than chicken-flavored Gerbers. They should dispense with the euphemisms & just say “fuck poor & sick people, let ‘em die if they don’t have money.”
Hed007: Aren’t these hippies supposed to be vegetarians?
He spit it out, didn’t he?
GuyClinch: Extemporanus: Damn you dial-up!
Maybe the bitee can settle this whole thing over a beer with Rahm at the White House.
I googled drumsnwhistles. Karoli wrote a very reasoned, intellectually honest account of the events. Not Wonkettey at all.
But I’m glad that fucker got his finger bitten off. It’ll make it that much easier to pry the gun out of his cold, dead hands.
Extemporanus: Jesus, that was almost as bad as mine! Good on ya.
Little did ol’ dude know that he was punching a practitioner of MTMA (Mike Tyson Martial Arts). We could fund health insurance reform if we start charging admission.
Libs biting off FINGERS? Sean Hannity had a beautiful, shuddering orgasm when he heard this news.
Thousand Oaks is weird. I lived there for 8 years. Whitest town in the world, excepting the restaurant busboys and exactly *one* “affordable housing” apartment complex they hide in the far far end of town. All my neighbors there, when we told them we were moving to LA proper (having tired of our twice-a-day 90-minute commute) insisted that brown people would soon kill us in our beds. 15 years later and we haven’t died in the weekly Race Wars yet!
TO is filled with Mormons and Amgen employees and really paranoid law enforcement with not nearly enough to do. Once they sent out 8 squad cars to break up my younger son’s D&D game, for fuck’s sake. Their snazzy public library has received many design awards, but, for some reason, cannot keep book-destroying rain off of the collection. Those trivia distill the essence of TO.
Most people there look like they could be cast in “Children of the Corn”, and/but there’s a rich vein of repressed madness throbbing away in that place.
It might not be my business, but I would like to know who is paying for the re-attaching
MoveOn.NOMNOMNOMNOM
If the man is that hungry, send him a jumbo pack of high protein salted dicks.
I’ve heard that the Thousands Oaks chapter of MoveOn had a strong gila monster caucus.
Ah, Southern California. Big firey bastion of hypocrisy.
Wonder if all those people screaming about keeping government out of their lives are telling the firemen not to save their homes?
http://marmel.com/2009/09/hating-our-government-until-we-need-it/
There is something very wrong with this whole “debate” (or, in this case, “de bite”).
But I just can’t put my finger on it. Someone else’s I could, just not mine…
Oh I know what “Karoli from DrumsnWhistles” is without googling it — it is a triangular-shaped UFO that goes to Venus. It is very green.
I’m guessing it was a case of “Stick your finger in my face one more time, old man, and you’re going to lose it.”
teh stupidz haz a flavur
Why do cannibals hate America?
ACORN’s plan B is underway. Eat the teabaggers. Hoohoohaha
I’m not going to google “Karoli from DrumsnWhistles” either, but only because I want to believe he/she is the world’s lamest writer of gore porn.
Marmel: Go eat a bag of pinkies, blogwhore.
iolanthe: I had a friend in college from T.O. He was a Mormon and a very straight arrow, although he is now in jail in Michigan for fraud.
Thank yahweh, our golem has finally arrived.
Extemporanus: Any thoughts on the snacks for that meeting?
I’m sure it tasted bitter.
a little birdie told me mr 9 fingers had medicare
This is just too delicious for words.
Old coot can go to Whole Foods, buy an organic finger and reattach the damned thing himself with an organic tea bag.
Pinkies? Southern California hypocrisy? Did I ever tell you about my blog?
Here’s a link to my gay blog:
psych!
Serolf Divad: I think you have a point. To bite someones finger off they normally have to shove it in your mouth (in that regard, they are much like dicks). This often happens when you hit someone in the mouth without clenching your fist. The solution?
Let the olds charge martial arts classes off to their Medicare so they can better fight socialism.
Mike Tyson’s Relative? Check out this story from a guy who was there, Hands on story great read .
http://www.redcounty.com/man-moveonorg-healthcare-vigil-bites-opponents-finger
magic titty:
That’s why I always smother them in ranch dressing. You can eat anything if it has been smothered in ranch dressing.
No doubt NineFingers will be played up on Faux News as a “Martyr to Democracy”. I suggest we all send .jpg shots of our flipper fingers to him in solidarity. Let’s all send NineFingers a finger for his courageous stand defending our precious health care system!
Oh I’m a walkin thru th’ bitters….walkin thru th’ bitters…hey wanna see my lemonparty blawg? NOM!
Lucky for the biter the oldie was so dry and brittle, probably snapped off like a twig. It was like probably like biting through a fresh baked Chee-toh, only hate-flavored. Also.
You know this event is the new Chappaquiddick for the righties. Hannity and Beck will mention this every night from now until 2012.
Hey I’ve got a great, completely irrelevant blog post to share, too! It involves giving the finger to a blogwhore…
NYNYNY: Per the article, the man has Medicare, so that would be all of us paying to reattach his finger. This would be the perfect time to get those death panels running.
Curiously, the bite-mark was in the form of a perfect backwards “B.”
Another DC Lawyer (Again): it blinds me! it blinds me!
Finger Ling: Re: The Finger Food Protest - isn’t this account just a wee-bit (or, wee-bite) one-sided?
“A month ago, I witnessed a man attack some doctors that were speaking to a crowd about the perils of universal health care. In both cases, the aggressor attacked a group of people that was peacefully assembled. While these protests are still about regular Americans voicing their concerns about government takeovers, the pro-government forces have introduced an element of thuggery and ugly mob tactics. From my perspective, the violence and hate is only going in one direction.”
Just a tad?
Tundra Grifter: Is that your comedy bit?
iolanthe: I had a black friend in junior high who lived [note past tense] in Thousand Oaks when he was younger, and he used to tell me about watching them film scenes for “The Dukes of Hazzard” and “Six Million Dollar Man” in the area.
As it turns out, Thousand Oaks has a rich television and film making history, including this fascinating little nugget:
Leading animal actors also made their debuts here in Thousand Oaks. Five acres on Thousand Oaks Boulevard were once home to Goebel’s Lion Farm, opened in 1926 by Louis Goebel. Hollywood’s prime source for trained animals, the farm provided Dr. Doolittle with “magic” companions and served as the backdrop for the Frank Buck “Bring ‘Em Back Alive” adventure films.
Later the farm was named Jungleland and provided the MGM trademark Leo the Lion and Getta, the chimpanzee used in a dozen 1930s Tarzan films. Jungleland became famous for providing Hollywood with animal celebrities and was a major tourist attraction.
What we’ve learned: Don’t fight like a sissy with your pinky out as if you are drinking pink teabeagger tea, you townhall maroon. Make a fucking fist ferchrissakes.
Finger Ling: “The wet starbursts of spattered blood dot the gray sidewalk for a distance of about 30 feet”
Not exactly Raymond Chandler.
I’m seeing this event as a changing of the tide for the health care debate. Next time the nay sayers start getting all shouty and belligerent just show your teeth and tell them they look finger lickin’ good.
dementor: Not sure about the snacks, but rumor has it that the band Pinky Tuscadero’s Whiteknuckle Assfuck will providing the entertainment.
Another report I read on this stated that the 65 year old man shoved the other guy in the face and more or less put his finger in the other guys mouth. Biting it off is the correct response to anyone putting their finger (or anything else for that matter) in your mouth without permission.
In Thousand Oaks when the first Gulf War started, we would all protest on the same corner, for pretty much weeks. We were immediately SWAMPED with high school jocks and meatheads counterprotesting across the street. They were supposed to stay on their side, but every time the light changed, they’d stomp across the street to, like, shove my mom and shit. One day one of the counterprotesters was leaving, and ran his car up on the sidewalk and hit somebody. WITH HIS CAR. ON TEH SIDEWALK. He was taken away, but wasn’t charged, because he said he confused the brake with the gas. Except with the corner we were on, he had to swerve hard right (heh) to get up on the sidewalk.
Also, that protest remains the site of my only arrest. I was on acid, but they couldn’t put me in a cell because I was only 17, so I had to sit on the floor in the room with teh cops doing their paperwork while they said stupid shit and I NEVER ONCE SAID “Oh you pigs think you’re so smart? Well I’m on acid and you didn’t even know it.”
The librul wanted his gun, natch. This is the first step, motherfuckers.
Finger Ling: You are really in the wrong place pimping your shitty blog.
Typical employer plans will only cover part of the cost of a finger reattachment; only about the 70 or 80% they consider “reconstructive.” They rest would probably be categorized as “cosmetic” and stuff like extended physical therapy for mobility issues, etc. would be considered extraneous and would not be covered.
So, let’s all thank Magog this dining room table has access to the death panels of Medicare.
glamourdammerung: dude, what is with the invasion of the blogwhores on OUR Wonkette?
commiegirl: I like the cut of your jib!
NYNYNY: Ventura County Sheriff’s Capt. Frank O’Hanlon says the man had Medicare.
Marmel: Several LA Times Letters to the Editor this week were on that very theme: how many of these fierce SoCal anti-socialists complained about Gummint Firemen saving their fancy homes?
Man, if ever a story was tailor-made for Wonkette AND wingnut blogs, this is it.
I’m not known for keeping my mouth shut. It was hard. Luckily, my dad picked me up soon after, and I could finally tell someone. He let me smoke in the house that night, too, since I was going to be awake all night, on acid.
Sorry: that was for Iolanthe.
problemwithcaring: And your evidence for this is?
WadISay: That right there is the essential TO story.
Oh. Right. I used to hear from everyone that, by moving from the semi-rural paradise of TO to actual almost downtown actual Los Angeles, I would be in grave danger from *GANGS*!
But a few weeks before we left TO for LA, our youngest, then a senior at public-but-posh Westlake High School, witnessed a real gangfight, complete with a shooting injury, in one of the many fine Westlake public parks (the one adjacent to the huge golf course).
The rival gangs were Snooty Little Asian Posers vs. Snooty Little Whitebread Posers. Not a brown person within miles and miles of the incident, because, of course, this squeaky clean lily white center of LDS-style Morality was also *the* major center of Classic over-the-top Wigga-ism.
Could we arrange for ALL Moveon.org and teabagger/birther events to occur in the same times and locations? So that they may consume one another entirely, like the gingham dog and the calico cat? Because I’d be for that.
iolanthe: BTW, my spawn was not affiliated with either gang. He and his two friends were representin’ only the area’s semi-Goth D&D Nerds, and were in the park only for the peaceful purpose of smoking much after-school reefer.
The guns’n'things rather harshed their mellow, poor kids.
commiegirl: My dear, my dear, my dear! One takes acid at the *beach*, or on a long weekend camping or hiking trip with friends.
Not at a demonstration.
Not at school.
And at church/concert/giant-party-fulla-strangers, only if it’s easy to get out of there if you need to.
Not sure anyone’s still reading this thread, as assholes like me have sort of hijacked it, but … I now have two more delightful pejorative names for the Glenn Beck Fan Club folks:
- frightwingers
- regressives
WadISay: Aw, how sweet. Following in the founder’s footsteps. Did his scam include seeking stones?
Did we just witness the modification of the old standby, “eat a bag of dicks” to “eat a bag of digits”?
I am not O.K. with this.
iolanthe: Also close to that other bastion of liberalism, Simi Valley.
Extemporanus: I remember going to JungleLand for a lion show when I was a kid. It must’ve been just shortly before it closed up.
OzoneTom: It closed after Jayne Mansfield’s son got mauled there. (True story!)
Poetic Justice (moral victory?): Guy had his finger reattached under Medicare
http://is.gd/2Qugv
commiegirl: ‘Lil Zoltan survived the attack after Anton LaVey performed some Satanic ritual on him, apparently.
commiegirl, Smoke Filled Roommate: Guess that I was fortunate to have survived and even been moderately entertained, though no maulings occurred during my visit.
GreatOldOnesParty: No clue, but I am really confused about the wingnut blogwhores here.
Extemporanus: That sounds about right to me, I guess the place is generic 80’s looking or something. My, also black aunt lives there still, and she had an episode of Knight Rider filmed in her driveway or some shit. I was really jealous at the time. And now.
TO is actually nowhere near the big Station fire, so all the wingnuts out there do not have to choose between their principled opposition to darkly colored socialists and a desperation to save their homes so strong they’d accept a chain gang of LA County prisoners manning the fire lines.
I thought liberals did not advocate violence…oh yeah I forgot…it’s only allowed towards people who hold an opposing view. Torture of terrorist forbidden…biting finger of of fellow countyman encouraged.
on2u: I’ve got something YOU can bite.
on2u: Read much? NineFingers stuck said pinky in the mouth of the biter while swinging at the biter. Unwelcome intrusion into dentally equipped orifice=severed appendage. Now go back and masturbate quietly in the corner with your copy of Liberal Fascism and try not to make a mess, okay?
If I had known Moveon.Org was that savage, I would have donated more money to them this summer. I must admit, that was a frustrated, hate-Obama money donation. And it felt so good. I wish there was some way Obama could find out about it and be jealous.
Killer Liberal bites off man’s pinky. I’d prefer if he’d eaten his liver.
on2u: Let me guess, Ol’ Ninefingers was a “liberal plant” too?
Otherwise, the asshole that started the fight lost a finger. That is acceptable to me as people should have the good common sense to not go around swinging at random people, which is not the same as advocating violence.
on2u:
Were they both from the same county? Are you sure?
–You should watch out for those little red underlines when you are typing, as they denote misspelled words. I ignore them only when I use certain words I know aren’t in the lexicon, like ‘Repugnican Conservofascist Dicklicking Fucktard’ and the like.
Dolmance: with a side of grilled arugula.
on2u: The only reason you’re getting this much attention is that troll quantity and quality have slipped appallingly of late.
on2u: In the end, conservatives are just a bunch of pussies (unless surrounded by their buddies in white pointy sheets) .
Next: Code Pink lady shoves AR15 up armed teagagger’s ass.
OzoneTom: Ah, yes! Simi Valley! Where all the folks who think TO is too liberal live. Many of LA’s Finest live in Simi Valley, including half the LAPD patrols in my current neighborhood, and, as I recall, several of the officers who pounded the shit out of Rodney King.
Those same fine Officers of the Law refused to take my crazy methfreak white hillrat squatting neighbor in, when she was standing on a picnic table in her backyard screaming that Obama was the Antichrist, the Son of Satan, sent to wage war with our White God Who Loves White America and has cursed the Black People.
They said she had a perfect right to stand out there screaming the N-word at kids walking home from school, and at families walking to the Farmer’s Market, “just like those nuts who picket the Federal Building about the war.”
Of which I am one.
Call me crazy, but … picketing the Federal Building seems a little different to *me* than screeching racial epithets at one’s neighbors and screaming about how the Angels have told you the President of the United States is a Demon Who Deserves Death.
But this distinction was lost on the two cops.
Simi Valley ethics.
Well, I expected civil war between “liberals” and “conservatives,” but I never expected cannibalism!
on2u: Liberals and Progressives do *not* advocate violence, generally.
But if you start shit with us, we will gladly return it in kind.
That’s what happened here.
Some old jackass figgered he was gonna go All Wolverine on the pussy *Librul*, stuck his finger in the guy’s mouth, and got a little surprise, right before he was carted off to get his fool hand fixed up by the terrible terrible Socialist Medicare.
Maybe next time you should read the entire article before you get on your silly little high horse.
And maybe you and your fellow gunfelchers need to realize that more of us than you think are armed.
We don’t fight wars of aggression. We don’t do preemptive strikes. But don’t think that means we’ll take this horseshit forever.
zhubajie: *NOOOOOOOOOOOOBODY* EXPECTS CANNIBALISM!
Sigh.
Required by law.
mayor_quimby: Holy shit!
Gary Coleman is your aunt?!
iolanthe: I used to work in the buildings on the corner near Westlake High. The brilliant city planners didn’t include a sidewalk in front of the buildings on the corner, so the kids walked through our parking lot. Cars were keyed, workers threatened. We asked the security why they didn’t keep the kids out of the parking area and they said when they did that, the building windows would get shot out.
It’s official: the 1960s have ended.
Biting off fingers for universal healthcare is like eating eyeballs to raise funds for the Lions Club.
Next stop: PETA barbeque, and wash it down with swill at the AA Kegger. Everybody’s just soooo publicly spirited these days.
yellowdogdem: Evidence? Am I on the wrong blog? If the wonkett comment don’t fit, you must acquit.
How’s this: A basic awareness of health insurers’ boilerplate around excluding payment of benefits for any care not directly resulting from a claimed injury; excluding payment of benefits for injuries obtained during an act of crime or riot; and/or excluding payment of benefits for any care received from out of network hospitals, as emergency room procedures often are. All stated with faux-authority that I pulled outta my ass. You’re quite welcome.
on2u: you’re still here? and since when was biting off fingers being “encouraged”?
i can’t seem to find dental dismemberment as part of MoveOn.org’s MO. or any other liberal organization for that matter.
Finger Biting Townhall report including Hitler
From innerSide radio