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  1. In other news … I’ve noticed a derelict lack of alt text comments at WONKETTE lately, wtf is going on here? Is Ken Layne vacationing in Alaska and so everyone injects crank into their faces? COME ON PEOPLE, AMERICA IS DYING!!!

  2. In the words of Lenin: “A lie told often enough helps Jim Inhofe manage a chubby.”

    Isn’t that “manage a HUBBY,” until the end of September?

  3. [re=402100]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: It was the 80s. Your day would be ruined if you didn’t snort a few lines and buy a Porsche in the morning. Sort of like Starbucks. You had to be there.

    I was there, too. In my 20’s, in my prime of life. Microbreweries were sprouting up like mushrooms in the Seattle rain. Thai food had been introduced to America. All women looked like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance and were eager to prove their womyn power by being as sexually aggressive as they could stand.

    It was the best of times; it was th…

    Heck, it was the best of times, that’s all.

  4. [re=402128]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Thai food had been introduced to America.

    Thai Stick was easily available, too.

    All women looked like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance and were eager to prove their womyn power by being as sexually aggressive as they could stand.

    The best of times, indeed.

  5. The 80’s had its downside. Always fretting about whether your hair was high enough or your shoulder-pads large enough. I cringe when I look at my college pictures.

    Oh and no one ever offered me coke, so thanks for nothing you hipsters!

  6. I relive the 80’s at every opportunity by watching Bert Convy host Super Password on the Game Show Network. Good times, y’all. Good times.

  7. God DAMMIT!! Ya know, I had a chance to try out for the Gonzales Cantata and delayed contacting the composer too long!

    *sniff* I coulda sung for Andrew Sullivan. Curse you, procrastination!

  8. All the talk about orgies in the comments of Matt’s article and Jim Inhofe’s chubby are making me feel warm inside

    “Why does the increase have to continue in order for the “orgy” to continue?

    Let’s say the orgy starts when Matt goes from having sex with one person at a time to having sex with five people at a time. Does the orgy then stop the next hour when Matt is still only having sex with five people and not ten?”

  9. [re=402110]freakishlystrong[/re]: Rep. Broun is the sponsor of the “Military Honor and Decency Act,” which prohibits our dedicated men and women in the Armed Services from viewing porn. This, above all else, proves how much this man hates America.

    When our soldiers in the field can’t get porn, the terrorists have won.

  10. If Barrack Obama “already has or will have the three key elements necessary to become a dictator: A national police force, gun control and control of the press.” It will be because you republicans, insert R-(Here)railroaded the Patriot Act through Congress & with a R-(Idiot) presnit, giving “Him” those powers.

  11. And Inhofe worries for America’s future: “Those of you who think like I do, hope this country can hang on another 16 months.”

    Eight years of Bush/Cheney was a breeze, I guess.

  12. The 80s were pretty much the greatest decade in the history of mankind, and I pissed it all away boozing & smoking pot, only doing coke once, before work @ my $3.75/hour mall job. The regret will last a lifetime. I miss Marisol Massey on MTV’s first gameshow, whatever that was called.

  13. Sometimes I wish I was old enough to experience the 1980s as anything other than a dim memory of maybe lip synching to Madonna songs. But then I see the photographic evidence of me in the 1990s, and that’s bad enough.

    My boyfriend, mind you, is 8 years older than me and sported a mullet from 1985-1992, long past the mullet’s prime. Oddly enough, he doesn’t find this embarrassing in the least.

  14. Jeez, all us old hippy musicians (for whom coke was free – at least in CA) had given up cocaine by 1980 (really for reals kids). The decade of the 80’s was when all the straight business people discovered coke, and put their businesses up their noses.

  15. Sometimes I wish Obama DID have all the elements “necessary to become a dictator.” In fact, Craig Ferguson was talking about Stalin last night and I was thinking that Hopey should try to be more like Uncle Joe. Especially the part where he “disappeared” people. We wake up tomorrow and … no Glenn Beck. We wake up next week and … what ever happened to Pat Buchanan? Someone calls the police and they say, “Don’t worry, he’s just on vacation.” Like that.

  16. Braun is such a fuckin’ Nazi (Godwin’s law fullfilled). That is all, for that.

    “All women looked like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance and were eager to prove their womyn power by being as sexually aggressive as they could stand.”

    Alas, I was too young to have known. And, now, us Millenials are outwardly aggressive and open, but so privately Puritanical it’s not even funny.

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