Ooh, an interesting interview with Cindy McCain in the latest issue of The New Yorker!… wait… the latest issue of People magazine! We learn a number of things in this feature, “Cindy McCain’s Secret Struggle with Migraines,” most notably that she has a secret struggle with migraines. They are almost as painful as a torture session in the Hanoi Hilton, she claims, in this actual real-life quote: “Torture. Being tied to a chair for four days. I can’t imagine how unbearable that pain must have been, but yeah, I can, because a migraine may come close.” Absolutely. Maybe she should ask her doctor for (= steal) some Percocet or Vicodin, to alleviate the pain? [People]
SECRET STRUGGLES 4:20 pm September 2, 2009
Did The Migraines Get Actionable Intelligence When They Tortured Cindy McCain?
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 71 comments }
Promiscuous sex causes migraines.
As an infrequent-migraine sufferer, I, too, ask, “Where is my purple heart. Where is my hero’s welcome. Where are my grammar lessons!!?”
I know what torture is like b/c I have experienced Cindy’s logic, the trollopy cunt.
This woman has had sex, possibly more than once, with WALNUTS and his disgusting grandpa penis. I believe if any of the McCains might claim to have survived torture, Cindy “McCabe” is clearly the one.
So that’s how Obama won. I knew it!
I’d imagine the paleness of her eyes would make sunny days painful all by themselves. Add to that severe migraines and I can’t even bring myself to make the obligatory Wonkett joke.
Why don’t the MacCains spare us of pain and nausea by swan-diving into the Grand Canyon?
I too am an occasional migraine victim, but I must confess, my fellow Wonketteers. I…I broke. In the seventh hour I broke and told them everything, all the comentariat super-secrets. Where we hid the missiles. The location of that prostitute’s head. That torrid night with Glenn Beck. Who was to be on the Death Panels. Everything. I’m…I’m so sorry, guys. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
Jahmacain did not have Percocet for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS! Suck it, Cindy.
You think everything is funny, Wonket!
there are no secrets that can be kept after the onslaught of the migraine, except for, why are we supposed to still give a hanoi hilton rat’s ass about this person? is it some sort of torture?
I don’t find any of this in ANYWAY Funny.
Today, we are all Cindy McCain’s migraines.
I was sad, because I had no hat, until I met a woman who had no brain.
[re=401125]rambone[/re]: I had a migraine once. It was just like being JFK in Dallas.
Got migraines? MORPHINE, TAKE ME AWAY!
Cindy’s migraines have kept us safe since September 11.
[re=401144]Min[/re]: Did you tell the moran to get one? Sometimes they just need to be told.
NutzOn®! Apply directly to forehead!
NutzOn®! Apply directly to forehead!
NutzOn®! Apply directly to forehead!
NutzOn®! Apply directly to forehead!
NutzOn®! Apply directly to forehead!
NutzOn®! Apply directly to forehead!
NutzOn®! Apply directly to forehead!
NutzOn®! Apply directly to forehead!
That would be an interesting meme: What else “comes close to torture at the Hanoi Hilton”?
– Listening to a Sarah Palin speech?
– Trying to defend Glen Beck as a “journalist”?
– Fighting to keep a GOP legislator from sliding his hand under Sara K. “Charlie” Smith’s diap . . . .
[Okay, I know that last was over the line. Or impossible. Whatever.]
Today, we are all prescription-pill poppin’, surly war hero-marryin’, platinum blond hair-dyin’ beer heiress with creepy colorless eyes and occasional migraine headaches. And a fat embarrassing daughter who calls herself Smeg McCabe.
I for one welcome our new migraine overlords.
So are migraines like Hitler? Or did we get valuable information from the pill-head? I’m confused.
Obviously, the lobotomy didn’t produce the desired effects.
[re=401123]Larry Fine[/re]: SEAL Semen causes migraines.
Yeah, just as bad as torture, except for the runaway Percocet train NOT running through the torturee part.
From the looks of that photo, the migraines apparently turned her into a robot that can shoot lasers out of her eyes.
I have to diverge from the Wonkerati with the crowd that thinks this isn’t funny. I’ve got a few friends who’ve suffered migraines for years for whom even the hardest of DEA registered substances don’t knock the pain down. Those migraines can be a serious bitch. Comparable though to torture? Who knows, but I am skeptical. It’s a poor comparison.
But I will merge back with the Wonkerati in wondering why the hell should we give this woman any further attention. Suck it up woman. You aren’t special just because Walnuts is your kept man.
I bet when John McCain heard that he called her a trollop and tied her to a chair for 4 days.
WTF@?@??@ There’s an International Headache Congress she’s going to address?
Where do I sign up to be an IHC congressman??????
My campaign platform will be “I will bring relief to all sexy cougars”
“Torture is always ugly. But so is Cindy McCain.”
[re=401167]GIJoeIce[/re]: four and a HALF days
She’s one of those bitches who probably compared child birth to menstrual cramps. I hater her. I really do.
[re=401166]Downtheroadapiece[/re]:
“I have to diverge from the Wonkerati with the crowd that thinks this isn’t funny.”
Good Lord, don’t do that! Look what happened to me on the last thread (read the last thread ha ha). Anyway, yeah, I had to take my brother to the ER once for some Michael Jackson, kill an elephant injections for migraines. But, this women oh vey, during the campaign, not likable AT ALL. The vulgar outfits that were worth 100′s of thousands of dollars a piece, while we, the “little people” survived on hobo beans.
No snark here, just an anti-migraine tip: stop eating salty stuff.
When I did that at my doctors suggestion (I cut waaaay back on sodium), my relatively mild-yet-persistent migraines disappeared overnight. Lost 15 lbs in two weeks, too. And it has stayed off.
Results may vary.
This cancels out her torture migraines. Sasaying in front a dying economy full of poors in approx. $313,000 vulgar outfits:
http://astrology.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/fashion-that-makes-us-sad-cindy-mccains-300-000-outfit-251454/
She needs to get her buffalo chipped.
[re=401176]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Death is better
I know what torture must be like because once had a stye in my eye.
[re=401172]Nerdalicious[/re]: I Love Her. She reminds me of a demented Crystal Carrington from Dynasty. I guess that would make Walnutz William Forsythe, wow,… now I have a headache.
[re=401172]Nerdalicious[/re]: Well, Nerdy, you gotta admit you were both 1) off-topic and 2) talking to yourself.
I myself would have called you out if I weren’t so fond of you (and your magnificent breasts).
[re=401176]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Good Lord if she lost 15 lbs she would simply blow away. She can’t weigh more than 105 – 110 now. She may forward the tip to Meg McCabe.
[re=401183]Skwerl Nutz[/re]: i haz a beam in mine
[re=401123]Larry Fine[/re]: Not surprisingly, it’s just as likely stop them.
Though speaking as someone who averages about as many migraines per month as I do non-onanistic orgasms (3.5), I’m not sure if I agree with the hypothesis that migraine sufferers are sexier.
But they have this cosmetic surgery procedure that lifts your forehead and cuts a nerve that probably will help migraine sufferers. She’d be a natural for this.
Oh, wait. Maybe her insurance won’t cover it.
[re=401184]Suds McKenzie[/re]:
Exactly. Remember that song “You’re out of touch, you’re out of time”. That’s her. She was stuck in 80′s vulgarity while Rome burned in the 1929/2008 crash. My theory is that: she was funding a big portion of the campaign. So no one could tell her. “Uhm, do you think this would be inappropriate?” She was probably the campaigns bank. Also, I recall the girl fight she tried to engage Michelle Obama in (something about loving this country) & Michelle just ignored. Perfect. What a threesome: Grumps/Crystal Carrington/The Great White Dope Palin. Recipe for disaster
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/02/19/cindy-mccain-michelle-obama-in-patriotism-flap/
But migraines are nothing compared to withdrawal from your prescription horse tranquilizers, after law enforcement authorities cut you off, cold turkey. Did she get to that in the article?
BTW, did she go overboard having the extra skin sliced off of her neck? It looks like a #2 pencil dipped in wax. Creepy.
[re=401176]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Here’s another anti-migraine tip:
If you don’t club your cavewoman over the head before dragging her by the hair back to your cave, she’ll be much less likely to deny your procreative, primal advances with guttural utterances along the lines of “Ugh! MIGRAINE! Ooog! BUNGA BUNGA NO! Ugga-oof! NO!”
Though if you club her hard enough in the first case…
[re=401185]Lascauxcaveman[/re]:
Yeah, true enough. Agreed. But if you read again, my embedded videos are not showing up for days so at times here I wing it here. But on my side, so what, I did say something very timely. I normally do not engage in that type of back & forth nonsense with hater types. Really pick a time when I say anything negative to anyone here. But, I am f*****g Irish so what do you want! PS: thanks for the tips & yeah they are great aren’t they?
Re her having recovered a little of her lost weight: looks like more than a ittle, Cindy honey. Might want to cut back on the bon-bons.
Re her empty nest: just line it with ermine, sweetie. You won’t feel a thing.
[re=401134]Gallowglass[/re]: That’s it! Two weeks in a glass booth with Sarah Palin, and God have mercy on your soul!
The rich–they’re just like us! Except they have healthcare!
Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am 100% against spousal abuse. However, my ethos runs into some serious roadblocks when a person deserves an Aldrinesque punch-to-the-head from a Vietnam war vet… and that vet happens to be her husband.
Just lay off the MSG, Cindy Lou. Worked for me. Trollop. Thanks for giving us Meghan’s Twatter – the most cringe-inducing web page in all of cyberspace.
Saying she knows what it is like to be a prisoner being tortured because she has migraines is just a very stupid thing to say.
That said, I’m still winding down from a migraine that started last Friday so I think it is fair to make this connection between torture and migraines: I know what it is like to feel that you would do anything just to stop the pain.
I’m not saying that I know what the pain of torture is like — I have no doubt that for both physical and psychological reasons it is excruciating in a way would be hard to conceive of if you have not experienced it.
I’m just saying that I know what it is like to experience terrible pain that won’t stop: pain that you don’t know when it will end and nothing seems to make it go away.
Narcotic painkillers don’t work. One of the newer migraine meds does work but over the weekend I couldn’t get the meds because I was waiting for my insurance to approve the refill. The medication costs almost $200 for 9 pills. With insurance it costs $50. Think of all the migraine sufferers who have to endure the pain because they can’t afford the medication. That is a kind of pain that is inconceivable to Cindy McCain.
[re=401221]Nerdalicious[/re]: I do not get migraines, nor do I know anyone who does. I do like nice tits, however.
[re=401349]showmeonthedoll[/re]: Oh wait, I can say that opiate withdrawal is seriously painful and psychologically a real treat. It just keeps getting worse and the clock feels like it’s going backwards. Of course it is also self-inflicted so not at all like torture.
[re=401176]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: can’t you get the same results by cutting off your head – and you get to keep eating pretzels.
Migraines- I have them and cannot take imitrex or zomig or their variants. Sometimes the migraines are so awful- that even though I am pretty sure it is a migraine-I worry that it is something much worse. I try to remember all my triggers- too much salt(never, never eat movie popcorn), alcohol(not a problem as I almost never drink but a little will do it), too little sleep(a problem), Stress(my crappy job). I have fewer now but they can be bad. However, not like torture- because I know they will end- sometimes, though- I have to remember that when I am puking and lying on the bathroom floor.
I thought for sure they coulda gathered up all the neck-wattles with an incision in the back of her neck. Still and all, perhaps mostly due to the infinite availability of Budweiser at her disposal, I’d hit that.
Oh wait, I don’t drink. Never mind.
[re=401351]hobospacejunkie[/re]:
Oh so that’s why your nice to me! Ok, I’ll remember that. Compliments will get you everywhere!
Maybe her headaches wouldn’t have been so severe if she hadn’t trowelled on the makeup like a whore, the fucking cunt.
ducks…i can’t believe she fucks ducks…
Translated from the Republican, “Migraine” means: getting good head from Honduran chicas.
English, one word can be expansive
And yet she would happily allow migraine treatment to be denied to people who can’t afford insurance.
Neck Job there needs to switch from Percocet to Pot Brownies. *MUCH* better for migraines!
My sister has migraines; now she knows what it’s like to be tortured in the Hanoi Hilton.
I destroyed an ant hill; now they know what the falling twin towers felt like.
I was unable to take a break for lunch; now I know what it feels like to be in a concentration camp.
etc…here’s to another excuse to justify going back to her prescription pain pills…
[re=401463]Jukesgrrl[/re]:
Exactly!
Something in Cindy’s eyes make her look “reptilian”.
does she tell John she has a migrane when he wants to be…intimate>?
WONKET YOU THINK MIGRANES ARE FUNNY DONT YOU!
I’m not a big fan of the McCain family but these posts are brutal, they really are. A lot of arrogant people hanging around here.
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