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OH NEAT

JAPAN’S NEW FIRST LADY IS VERY MAGICAL & SPECIAL: “While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus,’ Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of premier-in-waiting Yukio Hatoyama, wrote in a book published last year. ‘It was a very beautiful place and it was really green.’” [Reuters]


1:44 PM on Wed September 2 2009
By Jim Newell
1106 Views

  1. Larry Fine says at 1:49 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    America’s first lady went to Uranus.

  2. Gopherit says at 1:49 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    Meh. They don’t have any nukes. Besides, it didn’t involve tentacle sex. That’s a major step up.

  3. The Dream of the Premier’s Wife.

  4. Still not as retarded as Gog & Magog.

  5. graceless says at 1:51 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    “really green” is that a code for something. Because if it is, I like her.

  6. 4tehlulz says at 1:53 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    >it didn’t involve tentacle sex

    What makes you so sure?

  7. ManchuCandidate says at 1:54 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    Triangle shaped UFO? Venus? All that is needed is that the aliens are from the planet Lesbos.

  8. Gopherit says at 1:57 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    4tehlulz: Because Venusians don’t have tentacles! Duh!

  9. ifthethunderdontgetya" says at 1:57 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    My soul needs a ride someplace beautiful after that last post.
    ~

  10. Gopherit says at 1:57 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    ManchuCandidate: What about the landing strip in Brazil?

  11. Doglessliberal says at 2:02 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    Does she know Dennis Kucinich?

  12. Extemporanus says at 2:03 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    The “UFO” her “soul” rode to “Venus” is now up for sale.

  13. Come here a minute says at 2:04 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    This is what I’m talking about, when I’m talking about running.

  14. Chuckie Jesus says at 2:05 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSqGtOj72Q4

    Iko o iko o everybody let’s go!

  15. SayItWithWookies says at 2:08 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    They’re called dreams, honey — it’s what happens to us if the Xanax wears off too soon before the sleeping pills kick in.
    Although now that Cheri Blair is out of the picture, it’s nice to have another go-to loopy Prime Minister’s wife to pick up the slack.

  16. MARCdMan says at 2:12 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    Pilate: Came in here to say that.

  17. No sodomy? Fuckin’ lowest bidding aliens!

  18. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:16 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    Now the Japanese have change they can believe in, too.

  19. No more BSG for you, Number 8.

  20. One Yield Regular says at 2:27 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    http://www.amazon.co.jp/曙光-Mable/dp/B001QVX5S6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1251915512&sr=8-1

    Audio clip for track #11 (the English title of this would be “Venus”)

  21. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:28 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    Chuckie Jesus: Thank you, Mr. Jesus.

    I can’t believe I’ve never seen that before. That album’s been in heavy rotation on my iPod since before the iPod was invented. I’m bookmarking that one for my daughters.

  22. Jumping Jim says at 2:29 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    If Yoko Ono can break up the Beatles, Hatoyama can bring down the japanese governmant.

  23. Monsieur Grumpe says at 2:29 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    Has she got a sister?
    Crazy = hawt!!1!

  24. gurukalehuru says at 2:30 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    So, Dennis Kucinich is the Prime Minister of Japan? I’ve got a funny feeling that would work.

  25. Rosalindavenue says at 2:44 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    Laura Bush filled hundreds of notebooks with similar prose.

  26. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 2:44 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    What is wrong with the Japanese? Every one knows that good political writing involves either tales of your dog, lesbian sex, or rape by bears.

  27. nbawriter says at 2:45 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    Is that how women describe their getaways with Mark Sanford?

    That dude must have a gold-plated schlong.

  28. proudgrampa says at 2:49 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    Monsieur Grumpe: Hawt-o-yama mama!

  29. friendlyskies says at 3:27 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    Well, Rosario Murillo needed someone groovy to hang out with during UN meetings….

  30. Paul Tardy says at 3:41 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    District 9 was the best damn action/war/sci-fi/gangster/blacksploitation/romance/witchcraft/UFO/social commentary/animation movie of the year. No Japanese in the saucer though, it did lack Japanese. No Jews with baseball bats, or nazzies.

    Not Transformers but did pretty good in the robot department. Baby prawns were cute enough to stand up to one of those movies with talking dogs.

  31. Barrett808 says at 4:04 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    ManchuCandidate: Clearly a mistranslation; she meant Delta of Venus.

  32. Well there was something triangular shaped, but what rode in it was a penis.

    Whatever else her soul got up to has been lost in translation.

  33. From The Telegraph:

    Japan’s leader in waiting credits his success with her support.

    “I feel relieved when I arrive home,” he said in an interview for a book, praising her for limitless cheerfulness and ability to give him new energy.

    Yes, apparently the sex really is that good.

  34. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 7:00 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    I had a small house of brokerage on Wall Street… many days no business come to my hut… my hut… but Jimmy has fear? A thousand times no. I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey strong bowels were girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo… dung. …Glorious sunset of my heart was fading. Soon the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. But Jimmy has fancy plans… and pants to match. The monkey clown horrible karate round and yummy like cute small baby chick would beat the donkey.”

  35. She may have flown to Venus.

    But then she circled back in a time warp, and dropped that 500 pounder right down the funnel of the U.S.S. Arizona.

    Bloody Nips.

  36. Robert Zimmerframe says at 9:32 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    Japan’s new broom will need all the help he can get to banish his political foes to the land of wind and ghosts.

  37. Mr Blifil says at 10:45 pm, September 2nd, 2009

    The atmosphere consists almost entirely (96%) of carbon dioxide (CO2), a greenhouse gas responsible for the incredibly hot, greater than 400ºC conditions on Venus, surpassing the melting point of lead. The rest of the atmosphere is comprised of 3% nitrogen, 0.003% water vapor, and small quantities of other gases. The atmosphere rises to about 400km above the surface of the planet. The clouds situated around 30 km above the surface are rich in sulfuric acid; during precipitation the acid rain evaporates before hitting the ground.

    So, yeah… probably a really green place.

  38. SocialistMuslin says at 12:56 am, September 3rd, 2009

    “While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus,’

    Please, she just cribed this from the erotic Internet musings of one Kristen Macguire.

  39. Captain Swing says at 4:06 am, September 3rd, 2009

    This just in- President Obama has just announced the new U.S. Ambassador to Japan:

    Shirley MacLaine…

  40. Sabre_Justice says at 5:50 am, September 3rd, 2009

    I like where this is going.

  41. What? Nobody’s picked up that she’s been anally probed at this point. That’s what those fucking aliens all do to me

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