Contractors Guarding U.S. Embassy In Kabul Love To Drink Vodka Out Of Each Others' Anuses

The Blackwater news was, what, two years ago now, and we'restillinexplicably allowing these creepy private security companies to not only take the helm "guarding" major war zones, but to do so without *any* military supervision or need to adhere to basic laws or standards of conduct? Well THANK GOD this is the case, because the private sector works better, always, everywhere, and creates incentives for profit-minded companies to compete in the booming "who can act most retardedly and embarrassingly and illegally in a war zone" market. At the end of the day, it's savings for the American consumer! No -- scratch that: At the end of the day, it's naked, fat contractor slobs, supposedly protecting the U.S. Embassy in Kabul, but really just drinking poop-filtered cheap vodka and chips with dip, the dip being poop, from each other's unwiped assholes.

Poop, that is!

The independent Project on Goverment Oversight (POGO!) released a report yesterday detailing the curious behaviors of private security guards from the company [sigh] "ArmorGroup North America" tasked with protecting the U.S. Embassy in Kabul, which is kind of an important building these days. POGO immediately sent this report to the State Department with a note saying, hey Hillary Clinton, just fyi, you should know that those people you're paying $180 million to guard your most important building in America's newest most important war zone are psychotic naked rapey retarded poop-eaters:

The report highlighted occasions when guards brought women believed to be prostitutes into Camp Sullivan and videotaped themselves drinking and partially undressed.

[...]

In one incident in May, the report says, more than a dozen guards took weapons, night vision goggles and other key equipment and engaged in an unauthorized "cowboy" mission in Kabul, leaving the embassy "largely night blind," POGO wrote in the letter to Clinton. The guards dressed in Afghan tunics and scarves in violation of contract rules, and hid in abandoned buildings in a reconnaissance mission that was not part of their training or duties. Later, two heads of the guard force, Werner Ilic and Jimmy Lemon, issued a "letter of recognition" praising the men for "conspicuous intrepidity" with the State Department logo on the letterhead.

[...]

The report said supervisors held near-weekly parties in which they urinated on themselves and others, drank vodka poured off each other's exposed buttocks, fondled and kissed one another and gallivanted around virtually nude. Photos and video of the escapades were released with the POGO investigation.

(Ha ha, the Washington Post writer used the word "gallivanted" in this context.)

Gawker has many more vulgar photos of these fat ugly retarded rapey naked gun-stealing vigilante poop-ivore zombie demon fucks whom your government pays $180 million to guard its embassy in Afghanistan, where the U.S. seeks to win the hearts and minds of a population by showing off inspirational examples of the sort of personal self-enlightenment that can only blossom in Western-style capitalist democracies, etc.

 Report Details Misbehavior by Kabul Embassy Guards [WP]

 Our Embassy in Afghanistan Is Guarded by Sexually Confused Frat Boys [Gawker]