Wonkette
You know what your Wonkette was doing one year ago, exactly? We were in St. Paul, watching the first of Sarah Palin’s national scandals unfold. So fun! Plus, there was a hurricane, to kill more poor and/or black people (it missed, which is how Obama got elected). And it was a year ago tonight that we unveiled the Sarah Palin Fail-o-Meter. Thank the Alaskan Anger Bear God she didn’t wind up as president. (And don’t forget the shitty little dog with an actual tiny boner for McCain!)
It has only been a year? It seems to me that 10 years have passed since Moosebilly and her brood burst on the scene with all the class of bukkake finale.
Politics is a thing of the moment.
But BatShit Crazy is FOREVER.
It’s as if some fucked-up curse was placed on the Republican party — a curse that their political fortunes should mirror those of the Palin family.
Levi dumps Bristol Republicans dump sanity
Palin quits job Republicans quit meaningful political activity
How your Sarah Palin failure meter could handle that amount of fail is beyond a few people— and only Pat Robertson knows and will easily implode under this revelation.
You all are just pissed off that someone who did not intern became a governor. So which governor did a better job than her? Answer:Huang Huahua but he lives in Guangdong and won’t move to countries that don’t have Maglevs.
That’s the best graphic on this page right now, fer sure.
Q: What’s the difference between a pitbull and a crazy evangelical Republican moose-sniping governor?
A: After the pitbull is soundy defeated and shamed, it doesn’t have a second career saying crazy shit on Facebook.
Manufactured scandals - she never said “I can see Russia from my house - that was invented by Tina Fey.” She has more experience than Obama, and she actually likes America. She does not go around apologizing to the world for our existence. She doesn’t wish our enemies Happy Ramadan with a twinkle in her eye. She does not play the race card. She will release her medical and school records. She will protect democracy and the constitution and not try to “revolutionize” America out of its identity. She will not promote state owned corporations. She will protect the rights of the vulnerable. She will clean up government like she did as Governor of Alaska. She is honest and forth right and she will make history as the first female American president ever.
shortsshortsshorts: Palin is the Spinal Tap of fail,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN5SCRvhMtk
Never forget 9/2
on2u: win.
on2u: This is the lamest troll attempt ever. If you are lucky, someone will call you a ‘poop-head’ and help get you off or whatever, but this crap is just a boring recitation of Palin’s never-quite-realized merits
…WoW, so its been a year since “Snow-Billy” was propped up in front of the media like a politically inspired episode of “Punk’d”?! Well I’m still waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out so I can kick him in the nut-sack!!!
on2u: You tarry perilously close to the Schwarzschild radius of the Black Hole Of Fail, which will suck you into an alternate universe of craptitude.
No one who quits one elective office should be allowed to run for another elective office. Keep your electoral sadomasochism to yourself, please.
on2u: I’m sure you missed one or more of the palin self-generated virtues, but that’s enough. Really, enough.
on2u: Ha ha, you have the integrity of a child-molesting pig-fucker. It is obvious you eat your own shit and suck the dicks of barnyard animals for pleasure. Enjoy your stay in prison where your desire to fry your own testicles in cockroach blood will be catered to, endlessly.
…lets tally up her achievements over the pas 365 days:
-Sunk a presidential ticket
-Embroiled herself in multiple ethics violations
-Jump started SNL’s ratings
-Picked a fight with a late night comedian
-Had a porno named after her(which is actually a plus)
-Screwed up a shotgun wedding(WTF?!)
-Resigned halfway through her governorship
I sincerely look forward to what the upcoming year will bring! Maybe she will flash her cooter while getting out of a limo or maybe a sex-tape will surface?!
on2u: I really don’t think your heart was in that one.
on2u: “More experienced?” Even Palin herself commented on Obama’s vast experience as a community organizer and… what exactly is her job description these days again?
re: on2u Oh come on everybody. Have a sense of humor! That was obviously a joke. No one could really believe that. Could they?
AngryBlakGuy:“-Screwed up a shotgun wedding(WTF?!)”
She thought she saw a wolf, and the brief moment she aimed the shotgun in its direction gave Levi the chance he needed to make a run for it. He never slowed down and never looked back as the blood-curdling scream of rage echoed above the sounds of gunfire rolling over the frozen tundra.
“or maybe a sex-tape will surface?!”
I may be in the minority here, but I’m actually enjoying these “bridgetkeeney” stories, sans schadenfreude. I’m hoping more of these social conservative women in politics end up turning to writing to vent their pent-up sexual frustrations, ’cause it looks like they have a lot to vent!
Of course, she’d probably make the Kilpatrick texts look like Fanny Hill, but I can’t imagine a Palin sex tape being more interesting that, oh, Paris Hilton’s.
on2u: but does she support corporate owned states?
THAT’s the important question.
Nothing is more central to the preservation of our Christian democracy than corporate-sponsored government!
ALL HAIL GEICO!!
AngryBlakGuy: Don’t forget:
-Inspired a new meme that sent wingnut U.S.Americans shitting themselves and screaming like children.
AngryBlakGuy: -Had a porno named after her(which is actually a plus)
You know, man, I think all of those things are wonderful (except perhaps the ethics violations, which are ALLEGED except for the proof) and so they are really pluses and that is how America is great also Tina Fey.
on2u: Wow. If I could suck my own dick like that, I’d have to work from home and have pizza delivered, ’cause I’d never leave the house.
AngryBlakGuy: And we haven’t even had the decency to thank her.
GreatOldOnesParty: Sarah Palin Para Sailin?
And yet, over all
that misty distance and time,
I still see Russia.
AngryBlakGuy: And lets not forget the bloody slaughter of the turkeys.
For the love of Shiva, will someone ban on2u, already. It’s not that he or she is a Republican, but that he or she has said nothing of any snarky value since he or she has been, here. On2u, you are not on to anything. You’re about as dense as a delicious bucket of death-by-chocolate, and crowd threads the way a fat kid crowds an elementary school lunch line. If you’re on to anything, it’s by no work of your own.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Oooh, the turkey slaughter was the best. Was it just a year ago that Big Bristol came out of the chastity closet, that Levi Johnston got a job for which he didn’t meet qualifications, that his mom was arrested for peddling oxycontin, that the Palins cleaned out the GOP wardrobe account, that Sarah set a record for unconnected buzz-words in a single sentence on national TV, that Sarah kept the bridge-to-nowhere money against which she campaigned, that Trig was handed from person-to-person until he was eventually exchanged for a different baby….
And now the whole saga has ended at the bottom of a lake, where it will stay hidden for years, until Sauron finds it and rises anew.
on2u:
She never said “I can see Russia from my house - that was invented by Tina Fey.”
Dude, you need to go back to whenever it was they taught the rest of the kids how to use quotation marks. 2nd grade I think it was.
Quick tip: you put the thing you want to quote inside the quote marks, and the stuff you’re not quoting outside the quote marks.
Aside from that, I am interested in your philosophy and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
So you don’t like what you hear and you automatically want to ban a person. Figures. No tolerance for anyone who may have a different view, nor any respect or value for another’s position. Stick your fingers in your ears like a child. Put limits on freedom of expression,speech, and healthy debate. It is important to know what you believe and why. It is equally important to be able to communicate your political values including the logical, and otherwise, arguments or sentiments that support your position. I am giving you that opportunity. Ask yourself, why do I believe what I do - who has influenced me? Do my ideas make sense? What happens if I take them to their logical end - what would that government look like? Are the goals of my political affiliation realistic? Who do they benefit? Who loses? Is tyranny involved? Is deceit involved? Do they increase freedoms or restrict freedoms? What do I value most: honesty, freedom, conformity, independence, contol of others…etc.
on2u: Hey, you know what? Al Gore never said he invented the Internet, either. So eat shit.
on2u: I ask myself, why do you believe what you do - who has influenced you (Glenn Beck? Bill O’Reilly? Rush?) Do your ideas make sense? No. What happens if I take them to their logical end - what would that look like? (2001-2008) Are the goals of my political affiliation realistic? Not on this planet. Who do they benefit? The rich Who loses? Most people. Is tyranny involved? Yes. Is deceit involved? Yes. Do they increase freedoms or restrict freedoms? Restrict. What do you value most? Ya got me there, Sparky, but I’m guessing it’s the sound of your own voice.
What do I value most? Truck nutz. They’re on $ale!
SayItWithWookies: Also, the average pitbull isn’t quite this stoopid, either…
I agree with Neilist.
Here’s a great ticket for 2012. Sanford/Palin. Nonquitter/Quitter. I was just sayin’ a few days ago, even those teabagin’ antimedicare nuts were scared to death of Grampa Grumps McCain & Crazy Miss P. even in North Carolina. And that’s sayin’ a lot.
Sarah Palin: The Great White Dope.
on2u: AND…. she thinks Jesus will return in her lifetime. So there’s that. Her radical theology and fundamentalist ideals have no place in our government. Her underlying belief system would influence how she responds in an international crisis. With the full might of the U.S. military in her hands. Thanks, but no thanks.
on2u: I don’t want to ban you- I like debate with really stupid people. You don’t know logic or facts but that’s ok. So not enough fun for you over at LGF or Freeper? Get banned by Charles for being a birther?
Someone forwarded this to me, apparently a conservative girl talk bloggy thing praising Sarah - with open comments!
http://thenewagenda.net/2009/09/02/he-picked-sarah-palin/
so the fail-o-meter is permanently set on FAIL?
or are there gradations of failure?
on2u: Awesome! Please post lots of comments here regularly! It’ll be fun to see how long you last.
Doris Ziffel: He thought you said question marks
on2u: I am usually passive agressive on trolls and commenters that say lame stuff, but you reaaly need to get banned. Don’t worry. It doesnt hurt. Just lurk for a while and see how things work around here and come back with a new name. Ustabasshole will b available.
Just a wanker:
Where have YOU been the last 12 months?
on2u: we happen to love america too, asshole…or we wouldn’t be here.
your statement is some of the most disgusting garbage i have ever had the displeasure of reading. if sarah were president, i’d be marching in the streets in protest, i’d be carrying the ‘don’t tread on me’ flag, i’d be signing up for the armed revolution…but instead of being called a patriot, your kind would label me a domestic terrorist and a traitor.
go fuck yourself, repeatedly.
Johnny Zhivago: It says the blog is a voice for all women- I guess the author doesn’t know a lot of women who aren’t small minded, ill educated and well- just plain dumb.
Nerdalicious: Sweet.
hahahaha
http://men.style.com/gq/features/slideshow/v/0909COLLEGE?loop=0&slideshowId=slideshow60220&iphoto=16&nphoto=25&play=false&cnt=1
on2u: “Ask yourself, why do I believe what I do”
Hmmm.
Because you’re really dumb, perchance?
on2u: Less barking, more snarking, please. Felching: UR doing it wrong.
America’s DINGBAT.
One year ago today, I was hanging out in the peepbooth room at Sexworld talking with the working girls about how ever since the convention started, they had to be at work at 9:00 a.m. to start bending over for convention guys who told them that they looked just like their daughters. I saw this post and was jolted by the realization of how glad I am to have that scary-ass week one year in the past, and how smug I am to have handed those fuckers asses to them last November.
More dishy shit from Levi via Vanity Fair (his escort servize/pimp)…
http://rawstory.com/08/news/2009/09/02/levi-says-palin-wanted-to-adopt-daughters-baby/
on2u: HA HA HA Now there’s some snarky snark right there. Thanks for the early morning laugh.
on2u: North to the Future!
on2u: “She has more experience than Obama”
Sorry Ms. Stapleton, but this isn’t true. Obama’s been PRESIDENT for over seven months now. That’s seven months more than anyone who can run against him has, and seven months more than Ms. Palin will EVER have. You’d better move on to screaming “socialism” like the rest of your brethren have.
Of course, it was probably NEVER true; Palin spent less time in major office than Obama, and her office was only “major” ’cause I’m being generous; the Alaskan government is tiny and esoteric, not at all analogous to running the sprawling federal government. So while Obama spent four years addressing the issues a President actually faces, like Iraq, the foreclosure crisis, health care, and judges, Palin spent her time selling a plane (at a loss), blueballing some rubes on a bridge (and telling several stories about it), and managing the General Fund (which has no possible analogue at the national level). That’s her OWN list of accomplishments, and they have nothing to do with what a President would do.
Of course, this is all assuming you’re talking about relevant experience, and that’s a dangerous assumption; if you’re talking about spitting out a failure brood and having them follow her around to life of crushing mediocrity and fame-whoredom, she can probably give ANYONE a run for their money.
on2u: Everyone else has covered the idiocy in your comments far more thoroughly than I can be bothered to. So I’ll just says this: This is a political HUMOR site, jackass. Get funny, or GTFO.
on2u: If you believe she will be president you probably also believe she will shoot across the evening sky propelled by rainbow laser beams shooting out her behind and save the world too. The fact that she made it as far as she did is truly amazing, and not in a good way. Think about it: Who on earth in their right mind would feel safe with WALNUTS! at the helm and Sara in wait should he die? Neither of them has the stability of a crack whore on a bender.
How did I miss the picture of that adorable little dog the first time around? Last year I was camped out in front of my computer clicking “refresh” every five minutes…and I missed PUPPY PEEN?
on2u: “who loses? Is tranny involved?”
Shit-fire, man, nobody comes HERE for a healthy debate. It’s all about the snark.
Baconbits: “So I’ll just says this: This is a political HUMOR site, jackass. Get funny, or GTFO.”
Bin-fuckin’-go. I don’t care where this idiot resides on the ideological spectrum. If you’re not going to even attempt to be snarky, GTFO and quit stinking up the room.