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Eliot Spitzer Might Be Doing Things, Political Things, In The Future Sometime

There are important rumors afoot that prosaic Slate columnist Eliot Spitzer will maybe try to hold an elected position again sometime soon. But which one? Any of them, really! State comptroller, let’s say. That’s a thing. Or maybe Kirsten Gillibrand’s Senate seat, because who even is she?

Apparently he is stoked on the idea because he is technically more popular than actual Governor David Paterson:

Two sources said Spitzer had thought about a gamut of different electoral choices in his months of political exile.

But one ally insisted he’s realized he can’t do anything, at least not next year, saying, “There are people around him who want to see him [in office], and he sees himself there, too. He loves to be in the limelight. But he knows it can’t happen.” [...]

Still, the sources said, Spitzer has been looking at avenues for a return to elective office, even if it means mounting a challenge against a fellow Democrat.

Eliot Spitzer is our generation’s most impressive Kennedy.

[New York Post]


1:19 PM on Tue September 1 2009
By Juli Weiner
2292 Views

  1. Serolf Divad says at 1:28 pm, September 1st, 2009

    There are important rumors afoot that prosaic Slate columnist Eliot Spitzer…

    Julie, I think you meant prolif… wait… no, my bad. You’re right. What was I thinking?

  2. DangerousLiberal says at 1:29 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Uh…no.

  3. nbawriter says at 1:34 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Just curious: What’s the count on number of verified whore fuckers to become President?

  4. Yay! More prostitution scandal info! More press conferences with the suffering wife in pearls! Honestly, Spitzy was pretty damn fun. Admit it.

  5. hobospacejunkie says at 1:35 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Poor guy was the highest profile casualty of the mortgage meltdown, coincidentally being caught after working hard to try to regulate the mortgage industry & stave off disaster. So he likes to pay for a little strange. And he’s a monstrous hypocrite. He’d still be a better politician than most of the clowns in DC. I doubt he’d be a blue dog fuckup like G-brand.

  6. hobospacejunkie says at 1:37 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Cicada: And his wife is lovely. More Eliot means more Silda. It’s a win-win proposition for everyone.

  7. “elected position”. That’s the one that Ashley Dupré refused to assume. A girl has her pride.

  8. converse says at 1:42 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Obviously: Min’ster of Hoes

  9. thefrontpage says at 1:43 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Apparently Spitzer’s going to run for Union Boss, Dock # 42, Manhattan. Antonio “Pistol” Barzini, a union and dock “official,” is going to be his running mate.

  10. Nappied Hypotenuse says at 1:45 pm, September 1st, 2009

    6: Van Buren, Jackson, Johnson, Grant, Cleveland (Both Times!), Kennedy.

  11. ForTheTurnstiles says at 1:47 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Solution: Spitzer does the Great Schlep, relocates in Florida, and takes Mel Martinez’s senate seat from that fruit Crist.

  12. President Beeblebrox says at 1:47 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Spitzer’s only problem was that he wasn’t caught with a tranny hooker.

    Ashley is kind of hot, in an Asbury Park/central Jersey Shore type of way.

  13. Nerdalicious says at 1:48 pm, September 1st, 2009

    today on the riotously hilarious morning joseph, he held up the new york post which had the tasteful headline 2ND COMING & spitz’s big face. then he and the rest of the frat boys giggled like little girls with their hands over their mouths. mika was super super pissed & almost slugged him.

  14. nbawriter says at 1:49 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Nappied Hypotenuse: Which one did Marion Barry quote? I’m guessing Jackson let out a “bitch set me up” or three.

  15. finallyhappy says at 1:50 pm, September 1st, 2009

    I am sick of these guys- really. Let him turn GOP if he wants to go whore chasing and expect people to be happy with it- or get a divorce first.

  16. SayItWithWookies says at 1:56 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Too bad he’s not a resident of South Carolina — the good people there will elect you to office just so you can work on ameliorating your character flaws.

  17. Lazy Media says at 2:01 pm, September 1st, 2009

    nbawriter: I think all of them up to James Buchanan, and the string is unbroken if you include male prostitutes.

  18. Mr Blifil says at 2:05 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Secretary of Whore Diamonds?

  19. Julie, come on, would a little Alt-text reading “yep-yep” or something have killed you?

  20. Come here a minute says at 2:14 pm, September 1st, 2009
  21. ForTheTurnstiles says at 2:18 pm, September 1st, 2009

    finallyhappy: Democrats fuck straight women they’re not married to, because they’re married to constipated second-wave feminists (or rather wannabe feminists), which means they’re not getting any. Republicans rape boys and fuck twinks because they’re Republicans. Where else are they going to go, the Vatican?

  22. Mr Blifil: Ho Czar

  23. DangerousLiberal says at 2:32 pm, September 1st, 2009
  24. Is Secretary of Hoochie-Coochie an elected position?

  25. DeLand DeLakes says at 3:15 pm, September 1st, 2009

    nbawriter: All of them, except for Abraham Lincoln, because his epically crazy wife probably would have killed him and their surviving children, and G.Dub, because he was always too busy puking and passing out in the closet.

  26. God damned whore diamonds set him up!

    finallyhappy: I can’t make myself care about Spitzer’s sin. Horrible thing to do to his wife, demeaning of women in general, yadda. Does that make him a horrible person? Probably. But did it affect his job? It’s not like he was working vice.

    Sanford’s sin, while it wasn’t pay-for-play, is more damning in my opinion not because he’s a Republican, but because he beats the drum (heh) of “family values” and pushes his values as governor that he himself can’t quite follow. The only way Spitzer can compete on this one is if he turned out to be Bernie Madoff in a rubber mask.

    If Spitzer runs on a ticket of “Stamp out prostitution!” then yeah, not the guy to vote for. But if he goes back to “Topple corprate fat-cats” and manages to leave out the “while banging their hookers” corollary, if he’s gone through some court-ordered AIDS awareness or community service or whatnot, I got no problem.

  27. ForTheTurnstiles: Hell, for all we know, she knew about it and was OK with it.

  28. hunter.blatherer says at 4:42 pm, September 1st, 2009

    He could probably still get a city council seat. Or San Francisco mayor?

  29. sezme: Actually, it’s an erected position! [rimshot]

  30. zhubajie says at 5:21 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Inspector-general of whores! He could actually be useful!

  31. zhubajie says at 5:23 pm, September 1st, 2009

    nbawriter: All of them. Except for Buchanan, the gay blade.

  32. lochnessmonster says at 5:23 pm, September 1st, 2009

    Hey…his scandal is already out there so he could run for Pres…nothing to vett…he and Sarah 2012???

  33. zhubajie says at 5:28 pm, September 1st, 2009

    DeLand DeLakes: Actually, Lincoln got syphilis from one of his clients, while engage to the future Mrs. Lincoln. So Herndon, his law partner and first biographer.

  34. I use to think Spitzer would be the first Jewish president. Now I’m sure of it!

  35. LoweredPeninsula says at 5:19 am, September 2nd, 2009

    Sorry, I simply could never muster much genuine anger toward Spitzer. That’s not even hardly to say that I admire him for her personal life, but I simply can’t find the anger. Unlike so many of the ‘family values’ conservative hypocrites, Spitzer was a more-than-decent/average governor.

    Sorry, I can’t think of anything snarky to say. I mean, I stack this guys sins up to Giuliani, who shamelessly runs for anything that has a seat (and, he’s about to go for governor), and Spitzer practically looks like a(n) (unmolested) choice boy.

  36. I know, Teddy’s Senate seat!!! Sptizer is qualified and if he could manage to drown some pre-moistened bint in a car, maybe even a prostitute, and forget to report the accident for 12 hours he’d be a shoe in. I’m just sayin’…

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