Wonkette
Man, the “easy post factory” will carry this entire liberal/evil blogosphere on her back, alone, through these last slow news days of summer, if she must. She could charge a subscription fee for each time she opens her mouth, and we’d buy 270 days up-front! Here’s the latest, from a speech she gave yesterday in Denver, which is far, far away from her congressional district: “‘This cannot pass,’ the Minnesota Republican told a crowd at a Denver gathering sponsored by the Independence Institute. ‘What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass.’” Well, what’s the body count so far? [Colorado Independent]
Don’t cry emo kid.
She was confused. Thought Denver was in Montana.
Yeah! Everyone get’s Hepatitis!
I double-dog dare ya, lady.
Fasting and knee-bound supplication were not producing results quickly enough.
promise?
Is Jehovah pulling another one of his “Abraham & Isaac” stunts?
Wow, hard to believe they aren’t lined up to buy razor blades. She seems unclear on the “blood brother” thing. At least that’s not the way we did it in my neighborhood.
But, but without the single payor option who will pay the medical bill?
Has she had a bit of plastic surgery lately? Her face is morphing a wee bit.
OHPLZ OHPLZ OHPLZ!
RoscoePColtraine: More like crazy cult leaders. I don’t think God is talking to anyone but if he was- it wouldn’t be CrazyEye Bachmann
Fasting’s not fast enough.
I have been really angry all day about how bad I think things are going right now for healthcare and other satanic ideas that I care about…
But this, this makes me smile that same smile I had 5 months ago.
She is her very own brand of special, double-dipped crazy cone.
Blood brothers — is that code for circle jerk? Michele is a naughty, naughty little girl.
If there is one is person to whom I would recommend self mutilation, it would be this nut bag. Why don’t you sacrifice one of your kids on the alter of St. Ronnie while your at it? It’s not like you would miss one or two.
the problem child: I like this description for nutters - can I use it sometime?
Corporal mortification and humiliation? Damned perv! And ‘Chelle uses the same optometrist as the “great white hope” lady.
If the crazies commit suicide, our death panels will be unemployed. This will harm our economic recovery. Why does Michelle hate our new death panel economy?
Well, it would make things easier for the Death Panels, I guess…
With our luck, she’d try to slit her wrists and miss.
Her face says one age but her neck says another.
That dumb bitch forgot to get their credit card info first.
Talk is cheap.
Michele Bachmann — setting a standard for insanity that Jim Jones would find hard to live up to.
Awww, she’s just acting out because she’s upset because no one understands her and grownups can’t remember what it was like to be her age.
ManchuCandidate: We have a Constitutional right to share our herpes with each other with Obama death panels interfering!
“Something is way crazy out there,” quoth Michele. No shit.
What did Colorado do to deserve that visit? It isn’t April 20.
CAT’S BUM!! CAT’S BUM!
finallyhappy: Sure. And feel free to add nuts or sprinkles, as desired.
This is not crazy talk. She is just like that preacher in AZ, when she says “We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass” , you know she’s hoping some one some where is pushed over the edge. She knows she is inciting violence, and you know she’s praying for it.
Buzz Feedback: RoscoePColtraine: But I love this picture of her because her tiny Hitler ’stache is so clearly visible.
Since her brainstem was detached long ago, what good will slit wrists do?
Couldn’t her supporters opt for something more dramatic like self-immolation? Then we could revive and modify that old joke from the sixties- what burns five gallons of gas and doesn’t go anywhere? A Buddhist monk.
I read ‘Canadians,’ not ‘Coloradans,’ which somehow made it a lot funnier.
Man, I knew this chick was crazy, but I didn’t know she was stupid. We show our anti-socialist solidarity by slitting our wrists? Long live the Suicide Cult!
Also, neck wattles. Eww.
“You see, killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shut down.”
Best ‘Chelle quote ever: “Do a few other tweaks and you’re there,” Bachmann said. “Your whole crisis is gone.”
Great idea, Michele! You go first.
As a Coloradan, I would like to say first and foremost: “WTF Crazy Jesus Bitch, smoke a bowl and mellow the fuck out!” Is she talking about health care? Because combining all those virulent bloodborne pathogens drifting around the Republican base in some sort of ‘blood pact’ that involves actual wristslitting is going to require a lot of health care. Of the kind that private insurance companies don’t usually cover.
This is part of her brilliant plan to increase her state’s representation in Congress. If she can get enough people in other states to slit their wrists before the census, Maybe her state will get one or two more representatives.
You know, i can totally imagine that no childhood acquaintance of hers would risk contracting her blood-borne freakazoid brain disease, such that *she doesn’t have a clue what part of the body to nick* to make a silly little blood pact.
Sheesh. You’d think we could at least count on republicans to get the childish stuff straight, since they are developmentally stuck there.
Wrist-slitting doesn’t have the visual needed for prime time fox teevee news. She and her followers should stick their heads into turkey death-funnels. That would do it.
I didn’t realize the health-reforming, baby-killing cap and traders are going to destroy the free market by “reaching down the throat and ripping the guts out of freedom.”
Someone call Wes Craven - there’s a great script here.
UnattendedConsequence: Actually, I’d prefer to see her and her supporters put their heads into turkeys, a la Mr. Bean.
Here’s to reform passing and thousands of consrvatards slitting their wrists. That would surely water the tree of liberty.
Isn’t she a soupcon too crazy even for wingnuts? Even they have their pride.
Oh wait, no they don’t. Carry on.
Evil+Crazy+Stupid wow triplethreat!
Ok, Crazy Lady, do not come back to Colorado, we have enough home-grown bull-goose lunies of our own. Tancredo, Musgrave, Lamborn & my very own County Attorney Ken Buck. Ken’s claim to fame is that he was Dick Cheney’s lawyer in the Iran contra affair. It was on his campaign material and he won. I sleep soundly at night know that beacon of justice has my family’s best interest at heart. Again, go back to Minnesota & make a cassarole, Crazy Lady.
Sara in the West: “knowing” Angry finger are not accurate fingers…
norbizness: Where is that from?
May we assume that her Congressional health care plan covers all that Botox?
Is there really no Michelle Bachman blingee yet? Unacceptable!
SKS is off popping out babies for one day — one day — and everything goes to pot.
NEVER FORGET.
Another nail in the coffin of Intelligent Design.
I’m picturing Bachman in a swirling robe on a narrow bridge yelling, “this bill cannot pass” and slashing her wrists as the healthcare demon comes rolling up.
Michele is a staunch supporter of the NRA and 2nd Amendment. I am very disappointed she did not encourage her groupies to seal their blood covenant to each other by shooting themselves in the head.
hiphophitler: Excellent! And they could go to the town-hall cage matches that way. Maybe with eye-holes cut in the turkeys. It would be hard to understand what they’re saying, but they’re kinda hard to understand anyway so nothing lost there. Turkey-heads could be the next evolutionary step from teabaggers.
WTF?
So her response to imaginary Death Panels is …for everyone to slit their wrists??? Kill yourself before they kill you? She takes loon to a new level.
Everyone at the speech had their health insurance cancelled today.
the problem child: this photo shows her nose hairs. Maybe that’s where the ’stash is coming from:
http://www.lithappens.com/Stock%20Photos/bachmann/pages/LIT_0020cr.htm
“Right now, we are looking at reaching down the throat and ripping the guts out of freedom,” she said. “And we may never be able to restore it if we don’t man up and take this one on.”
You just can’t make this stuff up! Seems like she has repressed pschological issues. Also, I think the thin air in Colorado, affects the mind. Didn’t some Austrian guy, who loved the mountains cause all hell to break loose. It’s the altitude!
Cape Clod: Zap Brannigan from Futurama, discussing his impeccable strategy.
Maybe she means that we should all join the band the Blood Brothers: http://www.thebloodbrothers.com/
Not sure how the band would feel about that, though
suchsweetthunder: Oh fine. http://blingee.com/blingee/view/98190064-Blingee
Oh God, yes, please! Suicide Right-Winger Club FTW. I see not a single downside, as long as the government doesn’t have to expend too much money on funerals. May I suggest a common grave with a single headstone: “Stupid, Son/Daughter of Stupid, Dead of Stupid.”
I heart Michele Bachmann. She is such a *giver*.
showing m0ar blingee luv 4 teh Bachstrix.
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/98191431-Don-t-be-sad-Representative-
So long Michy is using the word “wrist” as a synonym for “throat”, I say, “Go for it, baby.”
“I am a servant of Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District,
wielder of the flaming crazies.
The Death Panel will not avail you, flame of Udun!
Go back to the District of Columbia!
This shall not pass!!”
GreatOldOnesParty: Oh my.
Well, at least health expert Michelle Bachmann has found a strikingly novel way to get around the danger posed by blood-borne pathogens during the more traditional blood brother thumb-prick ritual.
norbizness: Kinda ironic that somebody with Calculon as an avatar wouldn’t know that…
Perhaps she meant the word “slit” in more of an anti-uncertainty principle kinda way.
“We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother; be never so vile. This day shall gentle his condition. And gentlemen in America now abed shall think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Teabagger’s day!”
Kool-aid is so passé.
Hold on one second. Isn’t the spelling of her name… doesn’t she have two l’s like a real American?
Anyway, since she’s obviously European, she should know that with a public option we hardworking citizens would foot the bill for those botox injections, and she might even be able to get some doctor to make the lower half of her face match that smooth, smooth surface covering nothing on top.
All smooth and blurry, enveloping nothing. -James Fuckner
Jesus, she could have used “prick our fingers” or something less bloodlusty, but why would she do that?
What we really need to do is put guns to each others heads and pinky swear that we will do everything in our power to make sure this will not pass…
“This is slavery,” Bachmann said after claiming many Americans pay half their income to taxes. “It’s nothing more than slavery.”
On the other hand, the CBO estimates the average American family paid just over 9% of its earnings to the IRS in 2006 (the most recent available data). This is an increase from the all-time low set in 2003.
Middle-class families (the middle fifth of all taxpayers) who earned an average of $60,700 per household in 2006, paid just 3% in Federal income taxes.
Not to get all serious here, but Bachmann doesn’t need a taxpayers’ revolt. She needs a new CPA…
Tundra Grifter: Facts- FACTS??? You damned librul!
Tundra Grifter: This is slavery!
This is madness!
This is….
too easy.
God damn, Bachmann, lay off the Botox, okay? Her face is pulled back so tight it’s starting to look like a snare drum (perhaps that explains the urge I have to slap it.)
Hey Bachmann — if you are going to do it, do it right. Let me know how it goes: http://media.fukung.net/images/749/therazor2zk.jpg
In other news, it’s being reported Michele Bachmann is having and affaird with a socialist, Swedish Ikea dining room table.
Minnesota is one weird-assed state producing everything from Bachmann to Prince, from Paul Wellstone to Jesse Ventura and everything in between.
We all know about “Minnesota Nice”, but Bachmann is bringing to the front another prominent aspect of that great state “Minnesota (Unadulterated) Crazy”.
Extemporanus: Ok, so which is it? Is she a slit or a box? Mrs. Santa used to be a slit, but I’d say she has become more boxish over the years.