The Justice Department Will Now Pursue Goals That Involve Procuring Justice

  daily briefing
  • Eric Holder and his famous Justice Department (Civil Rights Division) are going to be combating social injustices this fall, and there’s a whole new team of lawyers, qualified ones, who will start hanging around to help them do it. [New York Times]
  • Everyone not in Afghanistan is now pretty open about the fact that Afghanistan’s elections were totally fraudulent. [Times Online]
  • Tween home shopping network Disney is buying Marvel for $4 billion dollars. [Reuters]
  • A third of all cocaine in the US is laced with some veterinary drug that tragically is not one of the cool ones. [AP]
  • Popular electronics purveyor Sony will feature popular search engine Google’s unpopular browser, Chrome, on their computers. [Financial Times]
  • Tomorrow Montana might decide that doctor-assisted suicide is a constitutional right. It would be the first state to do this. [New York Times]
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About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner

Hola wonkerados.

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46 comments

  1. CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us

    Well, hopefully Sarah Palin will move to Montana so the death panels can recommend she kill herself.

  2. ManchuCandidate

    OMG Death PANELS!!!! But sheeit, it’s Montana. Hey, if I couldn’t ever leave Montana I’d want to be Death Paneled, too.

    As for the Mickey Rat/Marvel buyout? You guys know that the Hanna Montana Meets Wolverine 12 issues special with 2500 different collectors versions and the gold plated laminated hardcover graphic novel is pretty much a go.

  3. CankleBiter

    The only nice thing about SKS being gone is I get to enjoy alot more high quality Weaner in the morning.

  4. Terry

    “Nearly a third of all cocaine seized in the United States is laced with a dangerous veterinary medicine – a livestock de-worming drug that might enhance cocaine’s effects but has been blamed in at least three deaths and scores of serious illnesses.”

    Most coke users could probably use a good de-worming. This could be a good thing, like adding vitamin D to milk.

  5. ChernobylSoup v2

    Is “combating social injustice” secret liberal code for “not letting the yahoos kill the gays no more”?

  6. Monsieur Grumpe

    Death panels from the state that brought us Theodore Kaczynski.

    Kid: Hey Dad, we got a package from Montana and it’s for Grandma!
    Dad: Let her open it.

  7. ManchuCandidate

    [re=399409]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:
    You probably never will. Batman is owned by Marvel’s archrival DC/Warner.

    Scrooge McDuck Meets The Incredible Hulk still, sadly, a possibility.

  8. magic titty

    [re=399409]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: What about Darkwing Duck?

    Actually, I’d buy the shit out of a Scrooge McDuck vs. Batman comic…

  9. CthuNHu

    What a disgrace this Justice Department is. Alberto Gonzales’s entire career must be spinning in its grave.

  10. slappypaddy

    i think i see a bizness opportunity here. let’s see, how can we swing this… tainted cocaine can be sold to montana doctors for their death panel ops; while awaiting death, the imminent recipients of grim reaping can read marvel comix and watch disney stuff on the toobs; their families can use sony chrome computers to search for the best burial plots in afghanistan (pretty much the whole country, from what i understand); justice department lawyers can cease and desist in their foolish pursuit of justice and other unicorns, and can instead take care of all the legal paperwork this scheme would require. presto! i just knocked two percentage points off the unemployment rate. i sit by my phone, awaiting barry’s call.

  11. ManchuCandidate

    [re=399422]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:
    Hey! That’s the extent of my comic nerdom and that’s from hanging out with comic nerds.

  12. hobospacejunkie

    70 years ago Nazi Germany invaded Poland. Two weeks later, the late, lamented Soviet Union attacked Poland from the east. Barcelona defeated Sporting Gijon last night in both team’s season opener. I’ve been using Chrome since it was released. Coincidences? Not entirely.

  13. Gleep!

    the really cool crossover will be when the Beagle Boys team up with the Hellfire Club to finally give the x-men a real challenge (also we’re going to learn that Scrooge McDuck is the real financier behind S.H.I.E.L.D)

  14. hobospacejunkie

    [re=399435]magic titty[/re]: Depends how you define better. Much faster than my weighted-down, bloated with add-ons Firefox. Chrome is a bit of a minimalist experience, which I find refreshing. I have thrown my lot in with our new, almost everything is free, Google overlords.

  15. Come here a minute

    A recent study showed that 90% of the U.S. cocaine supply is tainted with the residue of U.S. currency.

  16. Paul Tardy

    So has anyone ever worked their way through one of those Uncle Fester meth books? I hear it is about as easy as setting up an open source router (repeater + print server). Anyone know for sure?

  17. P Drizzle

    Wow. Sure is tough for the white man. When will the mainstream socialist media stop depriving us of the superior jobs and cultural dominance that we so obviously deserve? And why can’t these whiny minorities just make like Clarence Thomas and shut up?

  18. rocktonsammy

    Maybe the Montana congressman will demonstrate the crashing the boat into rocks assisted suicide procedure.

  19. norbizness

    [re=399433]Gleep![/re]: A long time ago, I tried dressing up actual chipmunks and putting them in model airplanes as a way of creating a Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers live-action movie. Perhaps if I add in a Crimson Dynamo subplot (me in a red-painted cardboard outfit), I will get mucho Disney Bucks for the project.

  20. Gleep!

    [re=399530]norbizness[/re]: please tell me that there is some film, somewhere, documenting this- nothing would make my day more than live action chipmunks- now if you could include the crimson dynamo footage as well the geekasm would be complete….

  21. Lascauxcaveman

    A third of all cocaine in the US is laced with some veterinary drug that tragically is not one of the cool ones.

    Yet another Green Business Op. I’m seeing organic coca plantations, right here in the good ol’ USA. (And I happen to live next door to a rain forest, which is helpful, and we already have a lot of Messicans in the nabe picking all that salal). We could compete with Bolivia on this thing.

  22. Darkness

    A third of all cocaine in the US is laced with some veterinary drug that tragically is not one of the cool ones

    Hm, has anyone written a paper about how innovation happens in an illicit market?

    I’m curious. I’d do it, but the interviews would be kinda a bitch.

  23. Guppy06

    Dangerous substances? In my coke?

    Probably still safer than half the legal over-the-counter stuff. My friendly neighborhood coke dealer has never claimed that what he was selling was “homeopathic.”

  24. Darkness

    [re=399405]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Don’t laugh, I could so write that. And it wouldn’t be half bad. I’m sorry, what rating?

  25. qaf

    [re=399518]groove[/re]: Yes, but what about an Iron Man cameo in a Jonas Bros flick? Especially if he kills them.

Comments are closed.