Wonkette
Politico fiend Mike Allen is going insane about an upcoming piece from the Washington Post’s very very serious conservative columnist George Will, in which he will offer the “startling recommendation” that maybe our government should end that other Middle East war it started ten million years ago. Choose your own reaction! (1) Who cares what mean old George Will says about anything? (2) Hooray for George Will! You take that stand, George! (3) Ha ha, “pull-out.” [Politico]
Bow tie = Quitter
George Will is a turd blossom. A partisan turd blossom.
Will George lose his WaPo column because of this or does he have to write a column in support of bombing another country to make up for this? Or maybe pen another editorial on why torture is such jolly fun?
Will, I guess I shoulda known
By the way u parked your car sideways
That it wouldnt last
Will, See youre the kinda person
That believes in makin out once
Love em and leave em fast
Will, I guess I must be dumb
cuz u had a pocket full of horses
Trojan and some of them used
Little red corvette….
Oh, we should definitely leave Afghanistan to the tender mercies of the Taliban, the ISI and the warlords. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
Looks like it says George Wii.
If only someone had said this to George’s dad.
All I can say is “About fuckin’ time.” Where was this epiphany eight years ago. Not that any Bush has ever paid a word of attention to what pointy-headed Will has ever said.
Now that there is a Democrat in the white house, it suddenly occurs to George WIll that nation-building and foreign interventionism are bad things.
I don’t need advice on pulling-out from someone who has never put it in.
George Will practices birth control using the algorithm.
“America should do only what can be done from offshore” - Like Fishing and banking
“, using intelligence” - Don’t try this with Americans
“, drones, cruise missiles, airstrikes,” I’m nostalgic for the Clinton Admin too.
“potent special forces units,” - As opposed to the wussy units we use now.
“Pakistan, a nation that actually matters,” - WTF
“he urges Obama to remember Bismarck’s decision to halt German forces short of Paris in 1870″-WTF
All you need to know about Bismark: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dropping_the_pilot
you cannot be serious: algorithm method. Gah.
He learned that no one in Iraq wears denim pants, so we can stop punishing them.
Here’s hoping Hopey reads this important advice from the noted geopolitical strategist who also impersonated Jimmy Carter for Reagan during the debate preparations for the 1980 elections.
ph7: Bowtie also = (with 99 percent reliability) self-important preening douche bag narcissist who probably considers himself a “contrarian.” We should probably send a bowtie to Mickey Kaus.
A frustrated Mrs. Will could not be reached for comment.
“Pakistan, a nation that actually matters.” As opposed to what? Deep down inside, George Will has probably come around to the Kipling view and now favors nuking Afghanistan as a way to lighten the white man’s burden by eliminating bothersome natives. It may work up to a point. The next step would then be to surgically nuke Pakistan (the parts that don’t matter). Then Iran, North Korea, Switzerland, whatever.
(3)
and how will doktor dick strangelove feel about this?
So our policy is: If you fly planes into our buildings we’ll invade the country that sponsored you, do an incompetent job of looking for you, let you escape, and then stand around scratching our ass for eight years until we get bored and leave. That’ll teach them damn terrorists.
Geo. Will getting it right makes my Pollyanna follicles erect.
cum on her tits, George.
Why did George Will turn into a Cheese eating Surrender Monkey?
Does this mean that we will have to find REAL US America words to remove mention of the words George and Will (like Freedumb Fries)?
I suggest Cheeto and TruckNutz.
magic titty: Next stop, Bukkakistan!
3
George says that to all the boys, but he don’t mean it.
If only Mama Will had asked for a “pull-out.”
This settles it: George Will is an opium addict, & was getting a better price when the Taliban was controlling the trade. Since the U.S. went in & aided the Northern Alliance’s ascendence — damn, remember them? — the price has just rocketed. Not good.
Sure, too, GW’s teeth look better & his nails aren’t so gangrenous anymore, but he’ll be damned if he can’t get that sweet, sweet high that only h can provide.
GW looks amazing for his age.
Can’t wait to see George next Sunday morning all decked out in pink and screaming “No Blood For Oil” at Stephanopoulos.
As I am wearing Dungarees today, I feel I am not worthy of comment.
Bismarck halted German (actually, Prussian, you unletterd mouth-breather) forces short of Paris because he thought that, once there, he would be subjected to endless cafe debates about deconstructionism … in Belgian. Zut!
hiphophitler: you left out the part where we invade a nearby country that has nothing to do with the immediate issue, fuck-up the occupation almost from the get-go, spend several years wasting our fortune and our army and our prestige and whatever international goodwill we had after the 9/11 attacks (a not inconsiderable amount), then hie our asses out of the place with our tails unmistakably between our legs and our mouths spouting face-saving platitudes.
A “pull-out” joke right after SKS goes on spawning leave? TOO SOON, Mr. Newell.
George Will is objectively pro-Taliban.
Cold comfort that my fellow Wonketteers are as divided on this issue as I.
Pulling out is NEVER an option — abstinence and war, forever! On a snarkless note, “what they said” (nods head in general direction of hiphophitler and slappypaddy . . . ).
There isn’t enough bleach in the world to erase the mental image imprinted now in my brain by viewing the words “George Will” and “pull-out” in the same sentence.
Thank you.
slappypaddy: Yeah, that too.
Boy, is Mike Allen going to be embarrassed when he finds out that Will is talking about Republican contraception.
Or is that against the “Pope’s (not)Joy of Sex” guide, too?
I suppose I’ll get purged in the next round of Wonkette purgings for saying this, but…the track record of empires winning in Afghanistan is sadly not that good. But Americans always have to learn the way, at least twice.
Oh, not another George Will baseball analogy. Ugh. Where was Georgie Baseball when we needed to pull out of Iraq a million years ago? The hypocrisy continues.
Gang of Six in Dickipedia!
http://www.dickipedia.org/dick.php?title=The_Gang_of_Six
I, too, think American troops should pull out IMMEDIATELY.
And leave all those young, and not so young, Afghanistani women we have been encouraging to go to school, stand up for their rights, etc. to return to the pro-feminist mercies of the Taliban.
I figure only a couple of hundred thousand amputated hands; stonings to death; and/or starvations . . . TOPS.
Hey, don’t blame me: You can’t be a “Concerned American Liberal” without getting your hair mussed up a bit.
And after all: What do American Liberals care for “the natives”? As long as we can snark here on Wonkette.
[Speaking of which: Can an Afghan teenager snark effectively if forced to type with one hand? Please advise . . . .]
BlueStateLibtard: Yeah, but has any empire ever tried to win in Afghanistan without ANOTHER empire covertly supporting the Afghans? I dunno if International Nutball Jihad counts as an empire, but if not, this is a new thing. We’ll eventually leave, and Afghanistan will be permanently a tribal place with a lot of opium-growing and jihadism, so I guess it all depends on how you define winning.
Yeah, and I hear he skipped his last hair appointment. I think all the 40th anniversary Woodstock coverage, or the Kennedy funeral, or something got to him. This is amusing me so much.
Curious that Will opts for a pull-out. I always figured he was a blow hard.
magic titty: I would advise aiming for the face.
That’s why they call George “The Decorator.”
that dipshit wants the US to pull out on the off chance that a republican is ever elected POTUS again - it will make PNAC relevant what with all its boogeymen terrists. Don’t make George have to learn some new geography or political history. He’s happy using the same scary arabs over and over again thank you very much.
Lazy Media: My version of winning in afghanistan involves the legalization of pot in the US, and the replacement of the opium trade with a return to good old fashioned afghani hash.
Oh yeah and we kick bin laden in the balls should we ever find him.
I remember the good old days when calling for “pull out” was ordering a pulled pork sandwich to go. You all disgust me.
As long as you signal and shoulder-check, go right ahead.
(Just think about the recently-passed Corvette-wielding ass-hat who forgot this one early morning and pretend you are the bicyclist…)
idiot son of an asshole: Isn’t that called a “Howard Stern”?
Maybe GW was talking about the Cubs.
Just a pathetic.
I’ve said it for years, but I’ll say it again:
If our involvement in Afghanistan proves anything it is that the United States needs more history majors working in government. Nobody who has earned a degree in World History would be stupid enough to suggest we could succeed with Western-style “Nation-building” in Afghanistan. Sure you can defeat Afghanistan in a quick invasion; however, trying to stay and straighten things out for the locals is always going to become a disaster.
One caveat:
My call for more historians in our government is not meant to include historians who are career military officers. They are not the answer but rather part of the problem. For high-ranking military officers no war is a bad war, and there is always at least one war desperately in need of being fought.
Will’s wife’s name is Mari Maseng Will.
For some reason the name “Maseng” gives me the heeby-jeebies.
If we were trying to conquer Afghanistan then we’d be screwed. But basically we’re trying to weaken one of the militias (the Taliban) to the point that the other tribal entities can hold their own. If we only aim for that limited goal then we can “win” there, even though the end product will be repulsive to the sensibilities of Western democrats.
We’ve got this one fleeting moment while the conservatives are so blinded by their hatred of Obama that they’ll actually oppose him on… on Bush wars! Awesome! We can’t let this identity crisis go to waste. I say we re-name Afghanistan “Obama’s War,” register Republitard on Free Republic and Breitbart et al, C&P the same stuff we posted as liberals two years ago, and get this country the fuck out of Afghanistan.
Way Cool Larry: Maseng Will?!
George is more of a douche than I thought.
fishskicanoe: I don’t know why the end-product would be “repulsive” but that limited goal is indeed more feasible. But overall, it just doesn’t seem worth it. I don’t think there is a military solution there. Granted, there are a lot of deep politics with opium and fake terrorism, that make this more complex. But my view is that there is no reason to have troops there.
friendlyskies: If it was only that easy. See fishskicanoe: above. We’re fucking inextricably linked at this point. Get used to it.
I guess George Will doesn’t support our troops.
Hell has frozen over.
I agree with George Will.
pull out? doesn’t sound manly to me!
Most oft heard quote from Mrs. Will: Another swing and a miss!!
Way Cool Larry: Before Will she dated Alexander Cockburn.
Dear George Will, and your ilk:
You broke it. Alas, we bought it. Your party screwed this pooch–we’re just trying to do what we can to make sure al Quaeda doesn’t take root in Afghanistan again. You remember al Quaeda, right Mr. Will? They were based in Afghanistan, so we did the only sensible thing we could do, and bombed the fuck out of Iraq instead. To stop terrorism, also. Meanwhile, your former boy president and his Regent, Lord Darth Cheney, ignored Afghanistan and let this Osama bin Laden cat run wild in the mountains–even after y’all issued all those “terrorist hunting licenses” that adorn pick up trucks from Nashua to Waco. Funny, none of those licenses ever were “used” outside the United States. WTF?
By the way, in Dubya Dubya Two, the Big One, when Japan attacked us, we didn’t attack Thailand, dipshit.
Why are Republicans so fucking dumb?
Poor Cheney! First, Bush goes soft in his second term, and now George Will. If only they could be real men like Lynn.
What makes George Will an ‘elite’ columnist? So, (1).
George Will is correct, and Obama is wrong. One reason we elected Obama was to STOP THE WARMONGERING.
STOP IT NOW.
George Oscar Bluth: Ha ha, “pulled pork.”
Seriously, it’s been a long time since my high school European History class, but didn’t the Germans lay siege to Paris for months in 1870? Bismarck might have ordered them to stop short of Paris, but that only meant just short enough to still be within cannon range.
Schmannity: And Liz. And Mary, for that matter.
Neilist: Shouldn’t the Afganis have the same death panels that Americans will have? Should we not be exporting American values and whatnot?
This an announcement of profound, abiding unimportance. Next, George Will admits the usefulness of toilet paper in support of rectal hygiene.
BlueStateLibtard: This is how you win in Afghanistan.
Step 1: Bring da Moneys.
Step 2: Give da Moneys to da tribal chieftains.
Step 3: Have our officers (congress critters?) marry their daughters (just one from each tribal chieftain to each congress critter, don’t let the party of “family values” go hog ass wild with this.)
Step 4: When our new in-laws deliver the severed man parts of the Taliban leadership, please remember the polite response is always. “Would you like some more of da moneyz, beloved in-laws?”
If you read history you will see only one super power has have ever subjugated the Afghanis, Macedonia under Alexander the Great the THAT is how he did it.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Mrs. Wiil? What planet are you from?
Lascauxcaveman: Perhaps. But this is the penalty for living in a democracy.
Bread and land.
Musings Of A Genius In His Own Mind: George F.(fill in the blank) Don’t
The Pursuit of Happiness and Other Sobering Thoughts.(A Critique of Mark Foley’s text messages)
The Pursuit of Virtue and Other Tory Notions. (A Critique of Prince Charles’s Plant Musings)
Statecraft as Soulcraft: What Government Does. (A First Grade Primer; Stupid is as Stupid Does)
The Morning After: American Success and Excesses (Kathryn Harris’s Face Looked Like US The Morning After Shrub Brothers Screwed US Twice)
The New Season: A Spectator’s Guide to the 1988 Election. (That was a barn burner)
Men at Work: The Craft of Baseball. (Australian Musings about Baseball)
Suddenly: The American Idea Abroad and at Home. (Lou Dobbs bathroom reading)
Restoration: Congress, Term Limits (FDR Should Have Been a One Termer Like Babe Ruth)
The Leveling Wind: Politics, the Culture and Other News (Reagan Farts)
The Woven Figure: Conservatism and America’s Fabric: (More Reagan Farts)
Bunts: Pete Rose, Reflections of Baseball (Was FDR A Gambler? Babe Ruth Would Have Ended WWII)
With a Happy Eye But…: America and the World, 1997–2002. (buttsecks)
One Man’s America: The Pleasures and Provocations of Our Singular Nation. (A Critique of Broadway & How Rethugs Screwed Us All For Many Decades; One Singular Sensation)
desertwind: The next thing you’re going to tell me is that we have a black president!
Neilist: [Speaking of which: Can an Afghan teenager snark effectively if forced to type with one hand? Please advise . . . .]
Left- & right-handing Dvorak Simplified Keyboard layouts are widely available for those missing an appendage. So yeah, go ahead & pull out. Afghan teens will be just fine.
And for those of you with two hands, switching to the Dvorak keyboard layout will (eventually) save you time & headaches. All the most-used keys are on home row! QWERTY is soylent green, SHEEPLE!!1!
Nerdalicious: Sounds like either one of those Amazon.com lists (”books that have never sold a single copy”) or next season’s Frontline schedule.
Johnny Zhivago:
Ha Ha. It’s true! Some paperback resell site :). I just loathe this imp whose hair hasn’t moved for 50 years (even in a Level 4 hurricane). His effete obsession with comparing politics to baseball ad nauseum, reminds me of Kim Jong Il’s obession with all things Liz Taylor.
Will: Why are we still in Afghanistan?
BY GEORGE WILL
http://www.northjersey.com/news/opinions/will_090109.html
Looks like Uncle George says we can go home now. Bye
hiphophitler: Did we invade Saudi Arabia and I missed it?
but if we pull out, we risk making a mess all over uzbekistan’s stomach! gross!
Georgey is going to have to buy suits to match that wonderful albatross necklace. ….but I gotta feeling FoxNews may not call him anymore.
Will also equated the American expidition in Afghanistan to the game-ending double play ball hit by Eddie Murphy of the Philadelphia Athletics in game two of the 1914 World Series. Murphy’s failure to come through in the clutch resulted in the Boston Braves taking an insurmountable 2-0 lead in the series. The reasons that these two events were comporable were lost on everyone other than Mr. Will.
“Cut and Run!!1!” George “Murtha” Will
mollymcguire:
“Expidition” you know that is the exact word George Don’t would use for “war” Ha Ha
He makes these unfuckingbelievable analogies because his hair is a steel trap for such genius.
Nerdalicious: effete obsession
Nice
I just found out Deval Patrick (Gov Mass) is getting hip replacement surgery Tuesday. He looks too young for surgery like that. Long recovery on that surgery.
hobospacejunkie:
Tanks :). Hey my b’days is in 2 weeks (I’m a Virgo too, hence my writing effete obsession
The U.S. could have helped forge a modern state in Afghanistan, if it had put a singular post-9/11 focus on it. & used US AID more, & more judiciously. (Going privateer on AID’s behind was a deal-breaker.) Military force, the barrel-of-a-gun & brute force, to throw off the shackles of kite-banners — really, kites? did the talibs mistake t for k? — then a human face, Afghan-Americans & other altruistically minded young people (a Peace Corps, with teeth, since Afghanistan still would have been too dangerous (i.e. unexploded land-mines) for PC)), to stoke the flame of modernity. It could have worked.
But, no, Iraq. We had to go to Iraq.
FMC.
(Fuck my country.)
idiot son of an asshole: Always good advice
p.s. I’m a Virgo too
hobospacejunkie:
Hey, I got another one for you:
fancy pants effete obsession
Suds McKenzie:
Virgos love to write & are witty. Many comics & writers are Virgos.
As fucked up as Afghanistan is, I think we have an opportunity now that we didn’t before. First of all, we’re finally taking the country seriously. Yes, eight years of not giving a rat’s ass because we were too busy ruining Afghanistan might mean it’s too late — but I hope not.
We finally have a president and a general (McChrystal) who are focused on implementing the right strategy and doing it thoroughly. And, most extraordinarily, we have a Pakistani leader, Zardari, who seems actually committed to wiping out the Taliban influence in his country, even if that means taking on the ISI.
Musharraf actually allowed the Taliban to thrive in the border provinces because he played the fucked-up neocon game of making his country’s security more precarious because that got the American money spigot turned up. Of course he then used that military aid mostly to arm the border with India.
Now that’s over, and it turns out the Pakistani people hate the Taliban, and so we have an opportunity to squeeze them on both sides of the border.
It occurs to me that this is why Will et. al. are now against the war — because under President Obama and these other circumstances, there is now the possibility that we could win it. It would be extra sickening (though not surprising) if the conservatives were playing politics with this war — nevertheless, we are at a rare crossroads and should do everything we can to make the most of it.
Lionel Hutz Esq.:
Which Mrs. Will?
(Though Georgie never did make claims to being a Christian)
SayItWithWookies: Oh, you don’t think Zardari’s going to refrain from rattling the sabre at India? Fat chance. They didn’t build the Islamic Bomb for nothing.
& no, I am not alleging that the Pakis will take it nuclear. But the country’s posture toward the Indians certainly remains bellicose.
& I still say the greatest evil the Brits precipitated is the Partition of India. As a counterweight in Asia to an ascendent China — though one could argue India is anyway — it would have served. But, of course, even before that, it would have been a third-way giant to joust with both the democratic west (U.S., etc.) & communist east (USSR, etc.); much more than Cuba, fifteen years after Indo-Pakistani independence. Much, much more.
FUK.
(Fuck (the) United Kingdom.)
Long Form Def Certificate: Remove first use of don’t.
Long Form Def Certificate: The mistrust between Pakistan and India is going to be around for a while — all I’m saying is that Zardari is focused on the real threat right now, rather than allowing the Taliban to fester and pushing guerilla actions in Kashmir for his own benefit. That’s something we definitely need to take advantage of. Real stability in Afghanistan and Pakistan would be a great thing — it may not be achievable, but we ought to try, given this opportunity.
SayItWithWookies: No doubt. But I actually have greater hope for the Afghans getting right with the contemporary world than the Pakistanis. (I would say Pakis, again, but I don’t want to sound like some British mook.)
Long Form Def Certificate: production in Burma is going up, so GW need not worry.
Death Panel Wagon: Good idea!
Bin Laden is still in Crawford, TX.
“It occurs to me that this is why Will et. al. are now against the war”. But, … if that were true it would be Will pandering to the .001% of Republicans who would actually think that through. There were rumors of the Cons loosing their shit when Bubba brought back the GPS challenged “reporters”. That mission, and Bill not being a douche, challenged their worldview about negotiations; and maybe NK’s as well.
and for gods sake the treatment of woman
hockeymom: Sponsored, hosted, . . . In any event, it would have made ore sense to invade Saudi Arabia than Iraq.
Your Lesbian Girlfriend Rachel Maddow is on the Jimmy Fallon Late Time Teevee Program, teaching him how to make a sexy cocktail, for lesbians! NEW WONKETTINI?!
She’s making a White Lady, which is appropriate, because she is!
Egg whites
Gin (!)
Cointreau
Lemon juice
mattbolt: I Like Cox!!1!
Long Form Def Certificate: Yeah, Pakistan’s a huge mess, too. What they really need is public education and to get rid of the ISI. Whether a civilian ruler can actually do that is an open question.
Suds McKenzie: He only needs to persuade a few people. The rest of the party will, as usual, follow blindly.
George Will, the champion of geopolitical coitus interruptus.
Bowtie, your Neo-Con pals in the Bush Admin dealt the hand. Don’t go all pussy now that they’re gone. Play it.
None of this, “Do you want me to stay or do you want me to go?”
Long Form Def Certificate: Fuck my country … that’s funny , that’s what Rick Perry, my governor, says.
God damn my state, Texas.
Long Form Def Certificate: You should read George Macdonald Fraser’s excellent novel about the British attempt to remake Afghanistan, _Flashman_. The truth is, the Afghans are determined to live their own way (the real definition of freedom, by the way). No outsider can change that.
Instead of fixing Afghanistan, why can’t Americans fix America? Get rid of racism, for example, or the horrid idea that rich people are somehow better than the rest of us?
dijetlo:
Step Five: Eat brains.
Does anyone pay attention to George Will? Did they ever? Why?
Seriously, to be a pundit, are the job requirements exceptional ignorance and an extraordinary narrow range of experiences in life? None of them seem to have done dog-shit. Alex Jones at least worked in a slaughter house at one point.
dijetlo: Gay Alex did not subdue the Afghans; at a certain point, he just decided to go to Pakistan instead.
Zhu Bajie
S.Luggo: The US is an oligarchy. Haven’t you noticed? In a real democracy, like Athens, leaders are chosen by lotteries. It’s true that the average Athenian was probably smarter than the average American.
zhubajie, fuck, man. Can you please start multi-quoting, already?
BTW, Afghanistan was never the “right war”, and if you thought Iraq was ridiculously justified, the subsequent ‘nationa building’ in Afghanistan is even more shoddily justified. That’s not even to argue that we shouldn’t have ousted the Taliban government, who explicity harbored those that carried out attacks on American soil, but our subsequent actions were completely unnecessary.
SayItWithWookies: Just leave them alone. If they all take up opium, that’ll keep them quiet, anyway.
Actually, it occurs to me,that’s a good reason to legalize drugs in the US, too!
Zhu Bajie
zhubajie: Instead?
No chewing gum and walking at the same time.
Gawd, I miss them frisky Gerald Ford years.
“Why can’t Americans fix America?”
Sehr gut.
– Leni Riefenstahl
“if you thought Iraq was ridiculously justified”
No, certainly not. I always suspected that the Rapture was what GWB was really pursuing.
dijetlo: It’s not fair to use Alexander the Great or the Romans as historical examples of what contemporary leaders should do as Big Gay Al and the Romans were able to get away with all sorts of nasty behavior like raping and pillaging, enslaving entire populations, putting people’s heads on spikes, pouring salt over crop fields, vomitariums, orgies, etc., to take over territory. As much as Dick Cheney wanted to, we can’t get away with stuff like that so have to resort to wimpy measures like waterboarding, pissing on religious items, and Miley Cyrus. Advantage, Ancients
There is no mention of George Will’s thoughts on Afghanistan on Drudge, Fox News, WSJ or several other of ‘those peoples” normal outlets.
SayItWithWookies: I completely agree with this: “It occurs to me that this is why Will et. al. are now against the war — because under President Obama and these other circumstances, there is now the possibility that we could win it.”
I’ve always felt the war against the Taliban was completely just and worth our soldiers’ lives and tax dollars. They present a very real and intense threat that can’t be curbed by shady oil deals and ego stroking. Obama has a much better chance of getting Pakistan to cooperate than Bush ever did. Sure, they’ll still have their weird rivalry with India, but they also don’t want to have their nuke storage facilities raided by the fucked up Taliban barbarians either.
Of course it never occurs to the mouth breathers that Obama’s pandering to Muslims has something to do with improving our chances of finding allies in the Middle East and keeping their kids from having to do all the fighting over there. No, no, “He wants to destroy the USA and Christianity! *DROOLS* *FARTS*” makes much more sense!
hiphophitler: Not even “invade the country that sponsored the attack on us”; more like, “invade a country whose ass we’re sure we can spectacularly kick, who had nothing whatsoever to do with the attack on us, and then … fail to kick it.”
LindsayBluth: I agree too.
This is pseudo ‘loyal opposition’ behavior, i.e. bluffing against any and all initiatives. As in “you say tomato so I’ll say too-mah-to.” Would Will advocate similar policies under a McCain administration? Highly doubtful. The Repubs don’t have the cards, but are still playing - like a rebellious teen-ager calling his parents drunks after he got caught blotto with his posse.
Sorry little Georgie, the bow tie and your previous worship of Reagan gives you away. I call bs.
Now, I’m no expert on central-Asian geopolitics, but here’s my suggestion:
First, let the Russians have that oil-pipeline they want. Of course, the Uzbeks and the Iranians have to get a little bit of baksheesh out of the deal too.
2. Turn over the opium fields to the opium farmers, tell them to live long and prosper, and offer them amnesty as long as they let their daughters go to school.
3. Internationalize Kabul, set up the headquarters of the U.N. there (which would free up some really cool real estate on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, too.) Also, establish the world’s largest school for women there. While no imperial power has ever been able to hold Afghanistan, plenty of them have been able to hold Kabul.
4. Divvy the rest up. China gets a piece, which they would proceed to flood with Chinese, Pakistan would get a chunk, perhaps on condition that they lighten up on India a bit, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan and Iran would all get their piece of the pie.
5. Afghanistan, like Dalmatia, ceases to exist as a separate political entity and goes down into our future history as the name of a breed of dog.
6. The world moves on to other problems.
Way Cool Larry: ‘I don’t know why the end-product would be “repulsive”‘
Because of the years of ensuing slaughter/’cleansing’/genocide?
Wouldn’t matter to us because the Taliban would be removed, thus ‘Mission Accomplished’. And that, dear sir, is traditional U.S. international relations with third world countries. Unfortunately. Also.
Here’s my question: why not, rather than send US Americans and our shiny pretty (expensive!) toys Over There to get shot at and blown up, we just send the money we’re already spending to bribe the fuck out of these guys to keep a lid on it? I mean, damn. Give the fuckers a billion or two to stop killing each other and the wimmenz, give the ones that want to leave a one-way ticket to US America, and vamoose. Skedaddle. Hit the trail.
Deacon Frank Orris: Because we already bribe the fuck out of the Saudis, and guess where that money ended up!
Extemporanus: I saw what you did there.