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Sarah Palin Will Now Quit Things Professionally

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This is part of her PROCESS“Congratulations,” or whatever the equivalent is in Twitter or Alaskan, are in order to virtuoso grifter Sarah Palin, who has landed herself a prime commercial (“$”, in Twitter) speaking gig! This is not just going to be some low-grade demagoguery on behalf of Christian wolves or whatever. You see, for fees unknown, Palin is going to Asia, the famous continent!

Specifically, Palin is headed to Hong Kong for purposes of… saying things… to investors of the brokerage firm CLSA Asia-Pacific Markets:

“Our keynote speakers are notable luminaries who often address topics that go beyond traditional finance such as geopolitics,” company spokeswoman Simone Wheeler said in a statement.

“We just felt it would be a fabulous opportunity for CLSA clients to hear from Mrs. Palin,” Wheeler said, adding that CLSA approached Palin with the offer.

September 23rd is the big day, which gives Meg Stapleton, Palin’s on-retainer human event horizon, until September 23rd (ish) to cancel.

[Washington Post]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

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  • badmuthagoose

    Oh those cute Hong Kongians. They think she’s going to show up that far away when she can’t even speak on behalf of murdered fetuses a few hundred miles away?


  • dum librul

    For the love of Magog, do not ask “in what respect, Charlie?” while in Vietnam!

    Or, you know, do.

  • hobospacejunkie

    I have seen a higher-resolution version of that photo. I can’t, or won’t, remember why. Only that it was unedifying in the extreme.

  • jasper f. krone

    If one thing can be said for Sarah Palin, it’s that her speeches tend to go beyond traditional geopolitics.

  • freakishlystrong

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

  • bureaucrap

    I should very much like to hear her lecture on basic geography. If she is in Hong Kong, she will undoubtedly be able to see Afganistan from the hotel’s front door.

  • George Oscar Bluth

    Asia isn’t that far for her. Remember, she can see it from her house.

    Also, she looks like she’s poised on the precipice of a Britney Spears style “letting oneself go”. God, I hope she does.

  • DoctorCulturae

    A quitter? Seems to me she has consistently maintained her Cheetoz habit very nicely.

  • The Church of Realism

    Geopolitics – When your Geo Tracker and Geo Prism do not get along together.

  • the problem child

    Local reaction:
    ”Honestly? This isn’t a hoax?” asked the managing director of a Hong Kong business chain. “It’s entertaining perhaps, in a road accident sort of way! Now I’ve seen everything.”
    CLSA has become a powerhouse in Asia for its offbeat approach to investing, for instance publishing a whimsical annual feng-shui prediction report on the regional markets over the coming year. Annual forums have included mid-week parties with ageing pop stars and sessions with such political stars as Clinton, Gore and Greenspan.


    Must have been the aging pop stars angle that convinced them.

  • Cape Clod

    Well, if she does ever give the speech, I know of several Chinese translators who will definately go mad by the end of the day.

  • 4tehlulz

    I’m glad she is expanding her portfolio of cancellations to the international arena. By 2012, she can claim to have vast experience in insulting America’s important trading partners.

  • Flanders

    [re=398563]freakishlystrong[/re]: but at least we weren’t assaulted with that picture of her tattoed lips so early in the morning!

  • ManchuCandidate

    I can’t wait for her amazing rendition of the ancient Chinese poem “Me Chinese, me play joke” complete with her imitation of Asian slanted eyes.

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=398565]George Oscar Bluth[/re]: No Ex-Limousine-Gaping-Maw shots plz.

  • Decker

    I hope for the sake of CLSA’s fee, they fitted the she-wolf with a tracking device.

  • binarian

    Clearly this is the comedy portion of the their presentation. She’s the Foster Brooks of political speaking. Actually, Foster was more coherent.

  • V572625694

    Wouldn’t it be great if the suckers investors of CSLA Pacific Markets interrupt Sarah by repeatedly chanting, “Show us your tits!”

    [re=398563]freakishlystrong[/re]: Ha ha, very nice!

  • DP

    How do you say, ‘I quit’ in Asian?

  • Marmel

    Yes, yes… she’s a leader.

    Provided she’s saying what her angry mob wants her to say.


    I hope she makes it. End of September is when the networks start bringing back their comedies and this should be a spectacular kickoff to the season of laughs.

  • Whiskeybaby

    Wonder which newspaper she’s reading in that shot?

  • Decker

    [re=398584]Whiskeybaby[/re]: I think that’s Highlights

  • finallyhappy


    South Carolina GOP Legislators – what a bunch of dicks. Sanford is going to be hanging on. If he was our governor, he would have been gone a long time ago.

  • KilgoreTrout_XL

    Well, I bet they’ll be disappointed when she doesn’t hop out of a big cake before her “speech.”

  • finallyhappy

    Hey, why no banning of the blogwhore?? Ken, Jim?

  • Oldskool

    I will wager she uses a fake Asian accent to try to get a laugh.

  • Oldskool

    [re=398576]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Beat me to it!

  • Rodney Badger

    Did she Twat about it or cofirm in on her Facebook page? If not, then bet against her showing up.

  • Buzz Feedback

    The Chinese have really let their standards slip.

  • One Yield Regular

    [re=398572]Cape Clod[/re]: But on the upside, the Chinese will at last be able to get a taste of why other people find Chingrish so funny.

  • donner_froh

    The teevee in North Dakota of all places has got it right:


    Home | News | Nation
    Not much time to mourn…Killer on loose?…Palin heading to Asia..

  • dr.giraud

    She’ll quit because she thought she was going to meet King Kong, not visit Hong Kong.

  • badmuthagoose

    HEY! Maybe she’s a fan of The Office and figures this is a good time to bring out her Ping impersonation.

  • dum librul

    [re=398584]Whiskeybaby[/re]: Any and all of them, with a great appreciation for the press and what they do.

  • rocktonsammy

    Apparently Joan Rivers and Kathy Griffin we busy on that day.

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=398583]Marmel[/re]: BOOO!

  • the problem child

    [re=398606]dum librul[/re]: Quit makin’ stuff up!

  • dum librul

    [re=398614]the problem child[/re]: I will, but only for the sake of the troops, who fight in Iraq so that I may continue to read the Weekly Standard.

  • Mr Blifil

    Last I heard we didn’t have troops in Asia, except for the idiots too stupid not to get posted to South Korea. Also before they let her on that 47 hour flight, somebody check if she’s got a baby up her pooper.

  • WadISay

    [re=398624]Mr Blifil[/re]: Srsly, they should check to see if she has a passport, too. I don’t think she’s ever been out of the country before.

  • JooJoo Bee

    Hong Kong[re=398597]donner_froh[/re]: Got what right? That she’s finally going to have an international affair? Ah, well actually okay. That ties in with the ring-toss. Man, there’s no puttin’ stuff past them Nebraskans. You can see Fargo, ND, from there, prolly.

  • Todomy

    A quote from 23 Sept 09

    “I love Hong Kong, land of Hong Kong Fooee and Grape Ape. Your amazing meals that are delivered in small boxes. I think I got the General Tso’s Cat last night. I enjoy eating new meats.”

  • ella

    [re=398634]WadISay[/re]: Her passport is almost new and barely used. But can she live with the old passport mugshot from her local Ritz Camera or will she try to glue in one from when an expensive makeup artist was making her look sorta mainland?

  • McDuff

    Depending on which side of the hotel her room will be on, she could actually see Red China from her window. I wonder if President Hu will be doing any head rearing while she’s there.

  • Cape Clod

    [re=398576]ManchuCandidate[/re]: She’s probably got hunting pandas from plane on her agenda as well.

  • widget09

    If Sarah had two brains……they would rattle in her skull.

  • Darkness

    Hm, following in the footsteps of retired!Reagan. Already. She’s a fast study.

  • Min

    Hey, I thought only Nixon could go to China.

  • snideinplainsight

    “I don’t mind going to Hong Kong as long as he doesn’t leave me on top of a large building, or squish me while he’s fighting a dinosaur or something.”

  • jagorev

    [re=398563]freakishlystrong[/re]: WIN

  • Come here a minute

    Look for the snowbilly grifter to inject herself into Chinese politics, declaring that the audience she is speaking to is the “real China”, and starting a war between Hong Kong and Beijing and Taiwan.

  • Neilist

    Speaking (again) of “fellatio on fornicators, cohabitators, working mothers and other types of fallen women . . . .”

  • the problem child

    Has she never heard of the youth in asia? They might get her daddy and her kid, Trank.

  • Werefrog

    [re=398582]DP[/re]: I heard that in Asian, the word for crisis and opportunity are the same. So, that sorta explains the choice of keynote speakers, I guess.

  • OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

    Hah! Just posted on the same thing.

    “Only Time Will Tell” http://bit.ly/dVw5y

    She is such a dork.

  • Guppy06

    Isn’t Hong Kong the capital of Asia?

  • Jumping Jim

    John McCain recommended that Sarah Palin go to Vietnam while she is in SE Asia. He urged her to stay at the Hanoi Hilton.

  • desertwind

    Surely CSLA will have already assigned handlers to Ms. Palin.

    What’s Nicole Wallace doing these days?

  • PrairiePossum

    A brokerage firm is paying actual money to listen to the Snobilly speak at an actual conference attended by actual investors? Clearly, the management at CLSA Asia-Pacific Markets is too stupid to be trusted with money. If they had any sense, they’d buy whores and blow.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=398634]WadISay[/re]: Incorrect. She’s been to Hawaii, also.

    [re=398561]jasper f. krone[/re]: True.

  • the problem child

    [re=398826]PrairiePossum[/re]: That may be what they think they are getting.

  • Scooter

    If you take one of Caribou Barbie’s speeches, translate it into Cantonese and then back into English, the finished product supposedly sounds like a Henry James novel. Or pandas screwing. I forget which.

  • WendyK

    Can they keep her?

  • QueenOfTheDamned

    Delurking and leaving my first comment to say that the woman in that picture is not the ordained witch-hunter otherwise known as Sarah Palin. Enlarge the photo, look closer, and I think you will agree with QOTD.

  • assistant/atlas

    [re=398572]Cape Clod[/re]: Sweet Jesus, you’re right. Won’t someone think of the Chinese translators?

  • Neoyorquino

    Will they have a translator on hand? The people of Hong Kong speak Chinese . . . and English.

  • Georgia Burning

    Hmm, Sarah armed with bag of cash and just across the bridge from Shenzhen. The fake Rolex and counterfeit Gucci business looks pretty good all of a sudden.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Now she is just taking speaking gigs to cancel them. No way any one advising her will let her go to Hong Kong. Sure, if she goes, she will be able to claim to be an expert in Asian/Chinese affairs, but you know that less than a quarter of the way into her speech she will being pulling her eye lids up and doing a version of Flower Drum Song.

  • Kathryn.

    [re=398584]Whiskeybaby[/re]: I’m guessing, um, all of them.

  • Holy Cow!!

    Palin still thinks Asia is country.

  • as.the.world.burns

    [re=398908]QueenOfTheDamned[/re]: i think you are right.
    i think it is a monkey, in its faux-jungley zoo-home, putting some bugs in its mouth. it has that blank expression of a creature lower down on the evolutionary ladder than humans.