UNEMPLOYED AMERICANS  10:04 am August 31, 2009

Sarah Palin Will Now Quit Things Professionally

by Juli Weiner

This is part of her PROCESS“Congratulations,” or whatever the equivalent is in Twitter or Alaskan, are in order to virtuoso grifter Sarah Palin, who has landed herself a prime commercial (“$”, in Twitter) speaking gig! This is not just going to be some low-grade demagoguery on behalf of Christian wolves or whatever. You see, for fees unknown, Palin is going to Asia, the famous continent!

Specifically, Palin is headed to Hong Kong for purposes of… saying things… to investors of the brokerage firm CLSA Asia-Pacific Markets:

“Our keynote speakers are notable luminaries who often address topics that go beyond traditional finance such as geopolitics,” company spokeswoman Simone Wheeler said in a statement.

“We just felt it would be a fabulous opportunity for CLSA clients to hear from Mrs. Palin,” Wheeler said, adding that CLSA approached Palin with the offer.

September 23rd is the big day, which gives Meg Stapleton, Palin’s on-retainer human event horizon, until September 23rd (ish) to cancel.

[Washington Post]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


badmuthagoose August 31, 2009 at 10:06 am

Oh those cute Hong Kongians. They think she’s going to show up that far away when she can’t even speak on behalf of murdered fetuses a few hundred miles away?


dum librul August 31, 2009 at 10:07 am

For the love of Magog, do not ask “in what respect, Charlie?” while in Vietnam!

Or, you know, do.

hobospacejunkie August 31, 2009 at 10:08 am

I have seen a higher-resolution version of that photo. I can’t, or won’t, remember why. Only that it was unedifying in the extreme.

jasper f. krone August 31, 2009 at 10:08 am

If one thing can be said for Sarah Palin, it’s that her speeches tend to go beyond traditional geopolitics.

freakishlystrong August 31, 2009 at 10:13 am

That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

bureaucrap August 31, 2009 at 10:13 am

I should very much like to hear her lecture on basic geography. If she is in Hong Kong, she will undoubtedly be able to see Afganistan from the hotel’s front door.

George Oscar Bluth August 31, 2009 at 10:13 am

Asia isn’t that far for her. Remember, she can see it from her house.

Also, she looks like she’s poised on the precipice of a Britney Spears style “letting oneself go”. God, I hope she does.

DoctorCulturae August 31, 2009 at 10:13 am

A quitter? Seems to me she has consistently maintained her Cheetoz habit very nicely.

The Church of Realism August 31, 2009 at 10:14 am

Geopolitics – When your Geo Tracker and Geo Prism do not get along together.

the problem child August 31, 2009 at 10:16 am

Local reaction:
”Honestly? This isn’t a hoax?” asked the managing director of a Hong Kong business chain. “It’s entertaining perhaps, in a road accident sort of way! Now I’ve seen everything.”
CLSA has become a powerhouse in Asia for its offbeat approach to investing, for instance publishing a whimsical annual feng-shui prediction report on the regional markets over the coming year. Annual forums have included mid-week parties with ageing pop stars and sessions with such political stars as Clinton, Gore and Greenspan.


Must have been the aging pop stars angle that convinced them.

Cape Clod August 31, 2009 at 10:19 am

Well, if she does ever give the speech, I know of several Chinese translators who will definately go mad by the end of the day.

4tehlulz August 31, 2009 at 10:19 am

I’m glad she is expanding her portfolio of cancellations to the international arena. By 2012, she can claim to have vast experience in insulting America’s important trading partners.

Flanders August 31, 2009 at 10:22 am

[re=398563]freakishlystrong[/re]: but at least we weren’t assaulted with that picture of her tattoed lips so early in the morning!

ManchuCandidate August 31, 2009 at 10:23 am

I can’t wait for her amazing rendition of the ancient Chinese poem “Me Chinese, me play joke” complete with her imitation of Asian slanted eyes.

JadedDIssonance August 31, 2009 at 10:24 am

[re=398565]George Oscar Bluth[/re]: No Ex-Limousine-Gaping-Maw shots plz.

Decker August 31, 2009 at 10:24 am

I hope for the sake of CLSA’s fee, they fitted the she-wolf with a tracking device.

binarian August 31, 2009 at 10:26 am

Clearly this is the comedy portion of the their presentation. She’s the Foster Brooks of political speaking. Actually, Foster was more coherent.

V572625694 August 31, 2009 at 10:28 am

Wouldn’t it be great if the suckers investors of CSLA Pacific Markets interrupt Sarah by repeatedly chanting, “Show us your tits!”

[re=398563]freakishlystrong[/re]: Ha ha, very nice!

DP August 31, 2009 at 10:29 am

How do you say, ‘I quit’ in Asian?

Marmel August 31, 2009 at 10:29 am

Yes, yes… she’s a leader.

Provided she’s saying what her angry mob wants her to say.


I hope she makes it. End of September is when the networks start bringing back their comedies and this should be a spectacular kickoff to the season of laughs.

Whiskeybaby August 31, 2009 at 10:30 am

Wonder which newspaper she’s reading in that shot?

Decker August 31, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=398584]Whiskeybaby[/re]: I think that’s Highlights

finallyhappy August 31, 2009 at 10:33 am


South Carolina GOP Legislators – what a bunch of dicks. Sanford is going to be hanging on. If he was our governor, he would have been gone a long time ago.

KilgoreTrout_XL August 31, 2009 at 10:33 am

Well, I bet they’ll be disappointed when she doesn’t hop out of a big cake before her “speech.”

finallyhappy August 31, 2009 at 10:34 am

Hey, why no banning of the blogwhore?? Ken, Jim?

Oldskool August 31, 2009 at 10:34 am

I will wager she uses a fake Asian accent to try to get a laugh.

Oldskool August 31, 2009 at 10:35 am

[re=398576]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Beat me to it!

Rodney Badger August 31, 2009 at 10:36 am

Did she Twat about it or cofirm in on her Facebook page? If not, then bet against her showing up.

Buzz Feedback August 31, 2009 at 10:37 am

The Chinese have really let their standards slip.

One Yield Regular August 31, 2009 at 10:37 am

[re=398572]Cape Clod[/re]: But on the upside, the Chinese will at last be able to get a taste of why other people find Chingrish so funny.

donner_froh August 31, 2009 at 10:40 am

The teevee in North Dakota of all places has got it right:


Home | News | Nation
Not much time to mourn…Killer on loose?…Palin heading to Asia..

dr.giraud August 31, 2009 at 10:40 am

She’ll quit because she thought she was going to meet King Kong, not visit Hong Kong.

badmuthagoose August 31, 2009 at 10:44 am

HEY! Maybe she’s a fan of The Office and figures this is a good time to bring out her Ping impersonation.

dum librul August 31, 2009 at 10:44 am

[re=398584]Whiskeybaby[/re]: Any and all of them, with a great appreciation for the press and what they do.

rocktonsammy August 31, 2009 at 10:44 am

Apparently Joan Rivers and Kathy Griffin we busy on that day.

JadedDIssonance August 31, 2009 at 10:50 am

[re=398583]Marmel[/re]: BOOO!

the problem child August 31, 2009 at 10:50 am

[re=398606]dum librul[/re]: Quit makin’ stuff up!

dum librul August 31, 2009 at 10:55 am

[re=398614]the problem child[/re]: I will, but only for the sake of the troops, who fight in Iraq so that I may continue to read the Weekly Standard.

Mr Blifil August 31, 2009 at 10:56 am

Last I heard we didn’t have troops in Asia, except for the idiots too stupid not to get posted to South Korea. Also before they let her on that 47 hour flight, somebody check if she’s got a baby up her pooper.

WadISay August 31, 2009 at 11:01 am

[re=398624]Mr Blifil[/re]: Srsly, they should check to see if she has a passport, too. I don’t think she’s ever been out of the country before.

JooJoo Bee August 31, 2009 at 11:03 am

Hong Kong[re=398597]donner_froh[/re]: Got what right? That she’s finally going to have an international affair? Ah, well actually okay. That ties in with the ring-toss. Man, there’s no puttin’ stuff past them Nebraskans. You can see Fargo, ND, from there, prolly.

Todomy August 31, 2009 at 11:16 am

A quote from 23 Sept 09

“I love Hong Kong, land of Hong Kong Fooee and Grape Ape. Your amazing meals that are delivered in small boxes. I think I got the General Tso’s Cat last night. I enjoy eating new meats.”

ella August 31, 2009 at 11:20 am

[re=398634]WadISay[/re]: Her passport is almost new and barely used. But can she live with the old passport mugshot from her local Ritz Camera or will she try to glue in one from when an expensive makeup artist was making her look sorta mainland?

McDuff August 31, 2009 at 11:23 am

Depending on which side of the hotel her room will be on, she could actually see Red China from her window. I wonder if President Hu will be doing any head rearing while she’s there.

Cape Clod August 31, 2009 at 11:24 am

[re=398576]ManchuCandidate[/re]: She’s probably got hunting pandas from plane on her agenda as well.

widget09 August 31, 2009 at 11:25 am

If Sarah had two brains……they would rattle in her skull.

Darkness August 31, 2009 at 11:27 am

Hm, following in the footsteps of retired!Reagan. Already. She’s a fast study.

Min August 31, 2009 at 11:31 am

Hey, I thought only Nixon could go to China.

snideinplainsight August 31, 2009 at 11:31 am

“I don’t mind going to Hong Kong as long as he doesn’t leave me on top of a large building, or squish me while he’s fighting a dinosaur or something.”

jagorev August 31, 2009 at 11:37 am

[re=398563]freakishlystrong[/re]: WIN

Come here a minute August 31, 2009 at 11:44 am

Look for the snowbilly grifter to inject herself into Chinese politics, declaring that the audience she is speaking to is the “real China”, and starting a war between Hong Kong and Beijing and Taiwan.

Neilist August 31, 2009 at 11:56 am

Speaking (again) of “fellatio on fornicators, cohabitators, working mothers and other types of fallen women . . . .”

the problem child August 31, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Has she never heard of the youth in asia? They might get her daddy and her kid, Trank.

Werefrog August 31, 2009 at 12:30 pm

[re=398582]DP[/re]: I heard that in Asian, the word for crisis and opportunity are the same. So, that sorta explains the choice of keynote speakers, I guess.

OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin August 31, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Hah! Just posted on the same thing.

“Only Time Will Tell” http://bit.ly/dVw5y

She is such a dork.

Guppy06 August 31, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Isn’t Hong Kong the capital of Asia?

Jumping Jim August 31, 2009 at 12:52 pm

John McCain recommended that Sarah Palin go to Vietnam while she is in SE Asia. He urged her to stay at the Hanoi Hilton.

desertwind August 31, 2009 at 12:52 pm

Surely CSLA will have already assigned handlers to Ms. Palin.

What’s Nicole Wallace doing these days?

PrairiePossum August 31, 2009 at 12:55 pm

A brokerage firm is paying actual money to listen to the Snobilly speak at an actual conference attended by actual investors? Clearly, the management at CLSA Asia-Pacific Markets is too stupid to be trusted with money. If they had any sense, they’d buy whores and blow.

S.Luggo August 31, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=398634]WadISay[/re]: Incorrect. She’s been to Hawaii, also.

[re=398561]jasper f. krone[/re]: True.

the problem child August 31, 2009 at 1:16 pm

[re=398826]PrairiePossum[/re]: That may be what they think they are getting.

Scooter August 31, 2009 at 1:42 pm

If you take one of Caribou Barbie’s speeches, translate it into Cantonese and then back into English, the finished product supposedly sounds like a Henry James novel. Or pandas screwing. I forget which.

WendyK August 31, 2009 at 1:43 pm

Can they keep her?

QueenOfTheDamned August 31, 2009 at 1:45 pm

Delurking and leaving my first comment to say that the woman in that picture is not the ordained witch-hunter otherwise known as Sarah Palin. Enlarge the photo, look closer, and I think you will agree with QOTD.

assistant/atlas August 31, 2009 at 2:02 pm

[re=398572]Cape Clod[/re]: Sweet Jesus, you’re right. Won’t someone think of the Chinese translators?

Neoyorquino August 31, 2009 at 2:09 pm

Will they have a translator on hand? The people of Hong Kong speak Chinese . . . and English.

Georgia Burning August 31, 2009 at 2:18 pm

Hmm, Sarah armed with bag of cash and just across the bridge from Shenzhen. The fake Rolex and counterfeit Gucci business looks pretty good all of a sudden.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 31, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Now she is just taking speaking gigs to cancel them. No way any one advising her will let her go to Hong Kong. Sure, if she goes, she will be able to claim to be an expert in Asian/Chinese affairs, but you know that less than a quarter of the way into her speech she will being pulling her eye lids up and doing a version of Flower Drum Song.

Kathryn. August 31, 2009 at 2:34 pm

[re=398584]Whiskeybaby[/re]: I’m guessing, um, all of them.

Holy Cow!! August 31, 2009 at 2:36 pm

Palin still thinks Asia is country.

as.the.world.burns August 31, 2009 at 2:53 pm

[re=398908]QueenOfTheDamned[/re]: i think you are right.
i think it is a monkey, in its faux-jungley zoo-home, putting some bugs in its mouth. it has that blank expression of a creature lower down on the evolutionary ladder than humans.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: