- It’s “purely coincidental” that Chris Wallace has been continually plagued with painful bouts of “the mud butt” since 9/11. [Think Progress]
- General Russel Honoré, affectionately known as Cojones Honoré, might pop a plump nut all over David Vitter’s senate seat (which is really just a taxidermied hooker). [TPM]
- Everyone in L.A. is just getting so high and groovy on the dankest strains of “Purple Kush” and “Perez Hilton Sticky Icky.” [The Daily Dish]
- Swedish futon dealership Ikea has changed their typeface, which means if you are sensitive about fonts, you should probably kill yourself. [AMERICAblog]
- Erick Erickson will recite Gregorian Limbaugh chants with Sean Hannity, TONIGHT, at 9:30 pm. [RedState]
RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS
August 31, 2009
{ 56 comments }
Verdana is a horrible, immoral typeface invented by Swedish homosexuals who were tired of felching with meatballs and thus turned their hand to destroying type as we know it. OK, I don’re really feel that strongly about it, but I wanted desperately to be the first commenter.
I-couldn’t-kea less.
“pop a plump nut”
that is just unseemly, Riles.
I think Chris Wallace has a point. The Bush-Cheney administration also deserves credit for the fact that Americans were not overrun with rabid AIDs-ridden homosexual water buffalo during the last eight years. We should thank them for all the other bad shit that didn’t happen too. Now I really feel bad for voting for Kerry.
Next thing you know, even Republicans will be smoking marijuana. I am not happy about that. I am not happy at all.
Verdammt typeface!
And FOX news is biased, perhaps? THE SURPRISE!
General Honoré made everybody’s panties wet because he was able to exhibit the kind of leadership anyone in the military above the rank of E4 or 02 is expected to be able to exert as required. Compared to Chimpy, though, he looked like MacArthur and Eisenhower rolled into one.
In fall 2009, now that fire season is again blotting out the sunshine, it’s clear that the abundant supply of inexpensive kush is THE ONLY good thing about living in Los Angeles.
Regrettably I, like Barney Frank’s dining room table lady, do not trust the federal government and so refuse to formally admit to committing a federal felony. So, no “mainstream” pharmacies for me. I’m sticking to meeting RayRay in the parking lot of Numero Uno’s. From what I know about the tactics at the Justice Department, it just feels a lot safer.
Typeface schmipeface. I’m waiting for Ikea to change something else–i.e. stop making everything it sells out of particle board. I keep wondering how they stay in business, because everything they sell falls apart after about a year, so who would ever go back for more?
Verdana does crash my browser every time I visit WorldNetDaily (whenever it’s linked here, I’d never go there unprovoked) unless I have that shit disabled. So if Ikea is becoming more like WND, then I’m ag’in it.
By “mud butt”, do mean like when his ass turns a bright red and he’s ready to mate?
Damn those crafty Swedes! This is like when they came out with CD’s, and I had to go and re-purchase my entire album collection in the new format!
[/rushes out to buy all new furniture]
Veranda is a miserable font and their BillyBob shelves dropped a 250 pound Sony TV within 3 inches of our cat, but I love their Swedish meatballs.
[re=399081]Doris Ziffel[/re]: People come for the furniture, but stay for their food.
[re=399081]Doris Ziffel[/re]: Particle board is why it’s so cheap. Again, those crafty Swedes!
And yeah, give it some abuse, and it will crumble on ya. Ya gets what ya pay for.
I like verdana…
Ikea should use a typeface that features broken letters. Now THERE’s truth-in-advertising.
Hahaha! “Loose stool” sounds far too clean for Chris poopy pants Wallace. And bear in mind I never thought “loose stool” would sound clean.
Match Correctly
1)Britt Hume A. Top
2)Chris Wallace B. Bottom
[re=399081]Doris Ziffel[/re]: Particle board that somehow weighs about 100X what the equivalent would weigh in actual solid wood, yet that falls apart when it gets wet. Oh and that classy plastic, or whatever it is, veneer that chips off at the edges, thus making the particle board even more suceptible to water damage. They do give the shit names that are fun to say, however. You can pretend to be the Swedish chef when reading their catalogue.
[re=399097]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Anderson Cooper: ? Plays both roles?
Chris Wallace is a war criminal like his butt-buddy Dick Cheney. Frankly, every one who works at Faux news are war criminals.
Futura to Verdana, today will live in infamy. 8/31, NEVER FORGET!!11!!!!!
Weed would no longer be synonymous with Cheech and Chong, or Jeff Spicoli, or Harold and Kumar. Instead, it just might be the new Prozac.
I’ve got news for Mr. Not Andrew Sullivan — marijuana has been the old Prozac for thousands of years.
Speaking of dicks, remember how Limbaugh is all enraged about circumcision now? Well, I was reading about Leviticus (don’t ask), and that little piece of work mandates circumcision. For boy babies only.
So, to my mind, either the Bible is the inerrant word of God, or it’s not. Which means all of Leviticus counts or it none of it does.
Which means snip snip and then buttsecks for all, and Republicans have to stop shopping for clothes at Wal-Mart. (“Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.”)
I know it’s the motto of the Republican party, but they simply cannot have it both ways. Unless we’re talking anal.
[re=399094]bureaucrap[/re]: “Ikea should use a typeface that features broken letters.”
Yeah, or type that doesn’t make words in orderly lines, but is more like a maze that goes around in circles upside down all over the page and is impossible to follow, like the layout of their stores.
[re=399109]Katydid[/re]: Get it right the first time, loser.
Which either means snip snip and no buttsecks for Congressmen, and Republicans have to stop shopping for clothes at Wal-Mart, or buttsecks allatime. (”Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.”)
Korinna is a far uglier typeface & General Honore will kick Vitter’s diaper-covered ass!
[re=399121]Doris Ziffel[/re]: better still, you would have to assemble the text yourself using an Allen wrench.
In other news:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/29/AR2009082902304.html
August 31, 2009
STEELE SAID AMERICANS SHOULDN’T BE ‘GUILTED’ INTO PASSING HEALTH CARE REFORM.
WASHINGTON (CNN) – Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele said Monday that Americans shouldn’t be “guilted” into passing health care reform because of the death of Sen. Ted Kennedy.
******
Correction: Americans shouldn’t be “guilted” into passed healthed cared reformed becaused of the deathed of Tedded Kennedyed.
Fixed.
If the anti-marijuana crowd has some other way all of us in L.A. can cope with our state’s problems + economic meltdown + this whole healthcare reform debate, I’d love to hear it.
So pot helps you mellow out. Well good heavens, Miss Sakamoto, I sure do hope they finish that study on whether water is wet or not.
[re=399133]S.Luggo[/re]: I kind of like people who invent new words.
So Hannity & Erickson are going to tongue each other’s bungholes on FOX tonight. Should be supremely edifying.
At least Ikea did not use POWDER-BLUE CALIBRI,
At least Ikea did not use POWDER-BLUE CALIBRI, which for some insane reason is the new default under Office2007. Who, praytell, needs powder-blue Calibri, and when?
Also, wrt RedState article, after Truman nationalized the steel mills, please remind me of the outcome of WWII? Did somehow USSR, Truman-socialist USAmerica, and soft-socialist GB defeat state-capitalist Japan and Nazi Germany? With nationalized steel mills?
I’m astonished that Chris Wallace said the non-attack of the US since 9-11 is “purely coincidental.” The electrode in his brain must have stopped working.
As long as I can gets me my orange Swedish horsies, I’m ok with it.
BONG HITZ 4 NOT-SULLY
Duncan Hunter is on the TV now spewing disgusting hateful lying bile — patronizing Debbie Wasserman Smith — about how our torturing prisoners all fine and hunkydory. I’m not a violent person but this man is really working my last nerve.
[re=399134]imissopus[/re]:
Fires and earthquakes too.
Not only would I be getting high, I’d be moving to somewhere else.
[re=399183]showmeonthedoll[/re]: Debbie Wasserman Schultz
Atleast Swedish futon deal IKEA is not accused of selling organs.
“[E]arlier this year, a California Field Poll found that 56% of California voters supported legalizing and taxing marijuana.” Well, that’s because the people standing in that California field were growing marijuana.
Torture kept us safe, gave us the location of the WMDs in Iraq, and even landed bin Laden in Leavenworth! We should torture everyone, continuously!
The shocker shouldn’t be that the CIA breaks the rules and tortures people, but rather that, even with the power tools, they still can’t do anything right.
I completely understand Californians’ support for legalizing and taxing marijuana, but if I lived there I’d think twice about striking a match for any purpose. Stick to the brownies, people.
Also, I have to give IKEA some love here. I put an IKEA kitchen in my house in 1992 and it still looks and works like new. I’m so happy with it, that when I remodeled another house three years ago, I purchased a second set of their cabinets. Nobody can believe how little I spent on those spaces. And I’m typing right now in an office constructed out of IKEA countertop and their super-affordable Billy bookcases. I bow to the Swedes and, no, I do not work at their embassy.
CONFESSION: I love typography nerds. They are definitely in my top 5 favorite breeds of nerd.
[re=399223]Guppy06[/re]:
Torture also landed us on the moon.
Invented the transitor radio and chocolate Pop Tarts.
Discovered antibiotics and the Holy Trinity.
Made the dinosaur and wrote the first draft of “À La Recherche Du Temps Perdu” (Proust later put it into polished form.)
In truth, you whiney libobamantions, there is little that Torture hasn’t done and cannot do.
– Johnny Yoo
[re=399251]Zadig[/re]: Minion. And everything else.
IKEA: I prefer the baptismal font.
[re=399109]Katydid[/re]: Wait wait, some of us have no idea what Cap’n Limbaugh is up to these days. So is he all cracked out in favor of circumcision? Or against circumcision?
[re=399069]Min[/re]: You’re going straight to hell-vetica for that one.
[re=399256]S.Luggo[/re]: Win
Improper Torture results:
“I know somebody that knows somebody that may know someone who read about building a bomb”
Proper Torture results:
Anything Chris Wallace says about Cheney
@ Chris Wallace coinkydink =
“Christ. What an asshole.”
General Honoré denies even being Republican and has debunked the rumors about his Senate run.
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