Wonkette
- Dick Cheney, a personified synonym of the desire to bomb Iran, has gone public with his desire to bomb Iran, and also retroactively bomb Iran. [Wall Street Journal]
- Environmentalist types have slacked off recently, in terms of not blogging various iterations of top ten “ways to go green lists” and other forms of non-violent protest, and this is why their cause is a lost one. [Washington Post]
- The Dalai Lama stopped by Taiwan and simultaneously comforted flood victims and avoided angering in Chinese government. Multitasking! [Reuters]
- Many of America’s largest banks are now turning profits, which was the cool thing to do in like 2007. [New York Times]
- The Democratic Party of Japan defeated the Liberal Democratic Party, their conservative (?) opponents, in today’s big election. Hooray!/our condolences. [The Guardian]
- That Angeles National Forest wildfire has destroyed 18 homes but it’s still only 5% contained. [Los Angeles Times]
Rest of the World to Cheney: You first, preferably strapped to a bomb.
Hooray for US America banks! Profits! Bonuses! Party like it’s 2004! Uh wait! What is this GLOBAL commercial real estate bomb? What do you mean it’s Subprime cubed? Fuck reality. It’s hooker and blow time!
Cheney should just have appointed himself as McCain’s running mate, too. Then he and Walnuts could have sung, “Bomb, bomb, bomb. Bomb Ira-a-an!” together. Course then we never would have known about the ever-entertaining Snowbilly Barbie and little Algebra.
Speaking of Iran, oops Fiorina, eyeing Senate run, faces questions over HP sales in Iran:
http://www.mercurynews.com/topstories/ci_13225640?nclick_check=1
She responds of course in her blog: http://www.karlaforsenate.com
Cheney needs a hobby. He needs to do something that doesn’t involve explosives, other people and communicating with anyone or anything. Scrapbooking perhaps?
What? No Little League World Series? Hell no. Fascist Real Madrid began their season by winning. Barely. Barcelona bein theirs live on ESPN later today.
How about India — GDP grew 6.1% by quarter to disappoint. If only we could manage that kind of disappointment.
Somebody tell Dick Cheney his views are irrelevant. But thanks for playing, Dick. Now go fuck yourself.
Welcome to our morning, Julie! I was afraid we’d be greeted by a crankypants Newell. I’m so glad you’re with us.
1. I still get plenty of “way to go green” lists- with the same repetitive ideas. I already have my own water bottle and cloth shopping bags- and yet, Michael Steele is still speaking nonsense- or is that unconnected?
2. Why is Juli the one who has to get up early? SEXISM!!!!!
Anyone know what a Japanese conservative is like? If they’re a combination of stereotypes then they’ll at least kill themselves after getting caught trying to pick up underage boys.
finallyhappy: No cloth water bottle? Slacker. Why do you hate Mother Earth?
Monsieur Grumpe: He shouldn’t have sharp pointed instruments either.
oh, I see how it is. Make the FEMALE INTERN get up for the AM update, huh? I’d like to see Riley TopHatMan alternating with Juli for this dubious honor.
hobospacejunkie: Proper etiquette suggests that no mention should be made of foot-ball in August, when teams are still in gestation, families wearily return from the beach and children prepare to go back to school. Still, it’s way better than talking about some idle mean comments by Cheney.
This Japan thing is actually pretty goddamned huge, the LDP has been in firm control of their Parliament basically since World War 2.
ManchuCandidate: I’d settle for strapped to Liz Cheney.
Man, I wish I was Cheney. It must be so nice to be right all the fucking time.
Monsieur Grumpe: I think boil lancing would suit him. You know he wouldn’t flinch.
I think you meant ‘the Chinese government’, not ‘in Chinese government’. SARA would never have made that mistake.
hobospacejunkie:
Another football nut like me! Speaking of Real Madrid, I hope you’ll join me in signing a petition banning Cristiano Ronaldo from wearing clothes, at all, forever.
Sara K. Smythe or w/e left some big clown shoes to fill. You’ve got a long road ahead before you earn the trust of us morning people, rookie!
That Angeles National Forest wildfire has destroyed 18 homes but it’s still only 5% contained.
Whooo, hooo… 342 homes left to go!
Woohoo! Dalai Lama in dah hizzie! Suck it you Commie bastards!
poor little dicky. too busy doing more important things to serve in vietnam, now he is tormented every night by wet dreams of slaughter. you know he and smirky monkey wanted to bomb the crap out of iran as a general cure for widespread gopper electile dysfunction, but the joint chiefs stepped up and said, “you guys gonna bomb iran? you and whose army?” smirky monkey held a picture book upside down while little dicky said, “we don’t need yer stinkin’ army, we gots our own christian air force.” but the joint chiefs said, “you guys heard of this thing called ‘military coup’? cuzz the gates is openin’ on that. watch yer step.” so little dicky told the prez of georgia, “you guys attack russia, we got yer backs.” ha ha ha. turns out he was talkin about knife parctice.
ManchuCandidate: Don’t you get the feeling he wants to go out like Slim Pickens at the end of Dr. Strangelove??
magic titty:
That would work but only on the assumption that he’s not a raging utter total coward.
Monsieur Grumpe: First person shooter video games.
ManchuCandidate: Actually you’re right. He’s a revolting pussy/fraud and would sooner strap his daughter to a nuclear weapon.
Yay, now we can close all our military bases in Japan!
Right?
TGY: Yes! Get him hooked on Halo, give him a bag of Cheetos and point him to the basement — we’ll never hear from him again.
I am struggling through the absolutely awful, but somewhat informative, The Dark Side, and it becomes clear that Cheney is a cowardly paranoid tinfoiler, yes, a true tinfoil hatter, but unlike most of them, a cowardly tinfoiler. Most paranoids endure their imagined threats and dangers with a great deal of bravery, when you think about it, but Cheney, he is craven.
ManchuCandidate: magic titty: yes, yes, raging utter total coward pussy fraud. Who goes on canned duck-slaughtering expeditions and literally slaughters tame birds by the hundreds, I mean so many, that there are flooding problems caused by the blood.
Don’t all the famous sociopath serial killers start out torturing animals, when they are young (the killers, I mean, not the animals)? What does it mean when a Cheney starts this animal torturing obsession late? He apparently only discovered that it is legal to get a big old gun and have people release birds and lawyers in front of you for you to blast away at relatively recently.
I thought it was Bill Kristol and co. who wanted to bomb Iran. I don’t remember Cheney being all that particular about where we bombed.
Sara’s not the only girl? Thank God.
Prommie: “…Cheney is…cowardly…”
Ultimate cowardice would have Cheney covertly backing a proxy attack by his Israeli counterparts; his plan to have US America do the dirty work was/is just one notch down from that.
The craven part is nuts on.
With its simplistic connect-the-dots mentality, the Washington Post seems to believe that hot air would add something to the global warming debate. Too bad environmentalists insist on playing it cool.
JooJoo Bee: And also. The Post is pursuing that Moonie Times high value advertiser demo with their principled stenography on torture. (No direct link; fukka buncha fish wrap.)
sludjbunni: Oh hooray. Go to http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2009/08/29/post/index.html for how the Post loves psychopaths.
Guppy06: I’m pretty sure the DJP’s position is maintaining the status quo with the US. Not going so far as to repeal Article 9 (which the LDP never seemed to have the gumption to do with their supermajorities.), but keeping things exactly how they are. Looks like someone should have voted Social Democrat or Communist.
Last year, I noticed that the streets were really packed. Unable to cross for a few minutes, I yelled out,”Jeez, is the Pope in town or something. I was embarrassed moments later when I realized the Dalai Lama was in fact in town. I was close.
Werefrog: Which aspires to be reincarnated as which again?
Roar: There’s also no mechanism for legally altering the Japanese constitution. So they just ignore article 9, maintain one of the most powerful militaries on earth, and call it a defense force. A former LDP prime minister pointed out that article 9 would allow Japan to wield “small atomic bombs for defense”, which is just as false as the legitimacy of their army, navy and air force.
GivingForehead: Juli’s no intern, dog. She’s fully functional!