Wonkette
Baltimore married person and discriminating alcohol palate “Jenna Bush Hager,” not content to simply write another fake children’s book or pretend to teach children how to read for the rest of her life — she’s a Bush, con sarn it! — has procured herself another fake job, in a fake television show, about death. This income should be taxed at 97%: “NEW YORK – NBC’s “Today” show has hired someone with White House experience as a new correspondent — former first daughter Jenna Hager.” She worked hard to win such gainful employment, however!
Has anyone ever craved and struggled for a job so badly?
The daughter of former President George W. Bush will contribute stories about once a month on issues like education to television’s top-rated morning news show, said Jim Bell, its executive producer.
Hager, a 27-year-old teacher in Baltimore, said she has always wanted to be a teacher and a writer, and has already authored two books. But she was intrigued by the idea of getting into television when Bell contacted her.
“It wasn’t something I’d always dreamed to do,” she said. “But I think one of the most important things in life is to be open-minded and to be open-minded for change.”
Whatever, liberal media leech. “I had to be open-minded about accepting an insane opportunity (that some network whore was begging me to take!) to do features every now and then, about fake things that I will simply delegate to my slaves, for a national audience.”
And so, the ranks of our popular meritocracy continue to swell. (Glenn: you forgot America’s sand-topped devil, Peter Doocy!)
Bush daughter Jenna Hager becomes ‘Today’ reporter [AP]
I guess Jenna discovered that the spiritual rewards of teaching kids outweigh the material rewards of being a twit in the self licking ice cream cone that is the MSM. She is definitely a Bush.
“The daughter of former President George W. Bush will contribute stories about once a month on issues like which mouthwash hides puke breath best, comparisons of top hair dye brands, and how to keep your Ugz clean while torturing poor Muslins…”
fixed.
Well, at least she’s getting laid on a regular basis, unlike Barefoot Meg McCain. So she isn’t likely to start a blog and whine about how she ain’t gettin’ noah ssexx.
Jenna and Meg McCain should co-host a show “Morning, Idiots.” Topics could include how affirmative action corrupts our society.
gjdodger: Sorry to burst your bubble, GJ, but married people don’t get laid.
Meg McCabe is so mad right now, you guys!
WadISay: I suggest the show be called “No, Really”.
This should be some hard-scrabble reportin’! Yep, she’s paid her dues…
Mild Midwesterner: HAH!
Gimme a break. She’s one of us now. She’s teaches public school in Baltimore for chrissakes. Before that she worked at a shelter for Mexican poors in Panama.
JENNA BUSH IS A LIBERAL ICON
Excuse me, but “White House Experience”??
I think Barney actually lived at the White House longer than Jenna.
I hope her first story will be about the scourge of scat porn, and that she will go Full Stossel.
You see, this is why a progressive tax code is, like, so totally unfair. Do you think that being open minded about having a well-compensated job handed to you is, like, as easy as cleaning offices or driving buses and stuff? FOR REALZ.
(hey, Jim, it is “palate” unless you are talking about her artistic abilities, which maybe you are, what do I know?)
There’s got to be a morning a-after show…
Today, we are all Hagers….
This is the last nail in Walter Cronkite’s coffin. Thank you Mr. Bell.
Johnny Zhivago: Excuse me, but “White House Experience”??
Yes; also “Texas Barroom Ladies’ Room Floor Experience”
Next hire: Joe the Plumber.
WadISay:
Affirmative Action only applies if you’re a white well connected person. Screw everyone else.
Actually, Lewis Lapham did a documentary on the “American Ruling Class” and his thesis was that the reason US America thrives it is because the ruling class takes in new members and kicks out useless ones. Well, so much for that.
THE DRUNKS ARE WINNING.
I don’t understand the skepticism. This is her community service.
I’d like to point out that there have been no mouseovers on any of the pix this morning. I want Sara back.
ManchuCandidate: I don’t think his thesis is wrong but faster, please.
ManchuCandidate: Jenna likely did [screw everyone else...] in her wilder days.
WadISay: Those two, and many more. http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2009/08/30/royalty/index.html
ManchuCandidate: Right — it’s like the teabaggers’ attitude towards health insurance: “I’ve got mine. Fuck you if you’re dying or bankrupt. It’s not my problem. Haven’t got time to talk anymore, because I have to head over to the VA for dialysis.”
Thus endeth the idea of “society.”
gjdodger: Oh come on, she is a beard for that country club twit she married, its obvious, what makes you think she’s getting laid? Is he bi?
hiphophitler: No, Newell is not an alt-texter, however, we DO get these little, delish nuggets of non-approved by Denby, snark; And so, the ranks of our popular meritocracy continue to swell. (Glenn: you forgot America’s sand-topped devil, Peter Doocy!)
Ah, I can’t wait for your first hard-hitting special report “Inside the Saud-Bush Family Cabal,” detailing the intimate workings of how a medieval middle-east clan dictated US military policy in their world region just about step-for-step between 1988-992 and 2000-2008 in exchange for big, BIG checks deposited straight into Swiss accounts long ago opened by Great-Grandpappy and noted Nazi sympathizer Prescott. Do that Jen-Jen (after all, didn’t Grandpappy H.W. licker you and your sister up more than once and parade you around in front of this or that Saud cousin-prince at Thanksgiving at Kennebunkport?) and produce some documents, and blow the illusion off your family’s position as America’s greatest war profiteer family, and I’ll put you right up there with Murrow. Please, Jen. Do it for us.
“…at least she’s getting laid on a regular basis, unlike Barefoot Meg McCain.”
Commander McHale has all his daughter’s suiters splayed and neutered, then sent to a Vietnamese re-education camp just like Hagar.
Sarah Palin is just such an example. Her name used to be, Dan Quayle. [snicker]
WadISay:
Howzabout
Right Wing Bimbo Spawn in the Morning Show?
AllHat: I was thinking “Whatevvs”.
I’ve seen that picture a gajillion times before, yeah, but I just noticed the dude, cold loungin’ in the back, resting a vodka tonic or whatever on his dong.
NBC, eh? J’accuse! Obviously a barefaced attempt by socialist state-run MSM to co-opt what were sure to have been the possibly prophetic future pronouncements of this scioness of a leading family of The Real America. Bleeah.
How can you use the words “open minded” when referring to a Bushling?
Hager rhymes with Jäger(meister), right?
The Today Show must love people with famous last names. They hired Diana Spencer’s brother when she was marrying Prince Charles and that didn’t work out too well for anybody.
That’s a picture of dubya in a brunette wig, isn’t it? What happened to his blond wig?
School’s starting. How the hell will she have the time to both teach effectively and play at being a reporter?
Was that link to Greenwald in there from the beginning? Cause I don’t want to look like a dum non-post readin’ librul.
I thought she had retreated to Cabo San Lucas with her husband, Sammy Hager?
That’s what Sarah Palin told me, at least.
My godz! Teh TVz that shez on will come 2 live like in teh robotz movie. IT’S IN THE BIBLE PEOPLE!!!
Speaking of “fellatio on fornicators, cohabitators, working mothers and other types of fallen women . . . .”
Just sayin’.
Should be a far more interesting news desk shot — Hello Kitty!!
Mild Midwesterner: There’s already a show like that. It’s called “Regis and Kelli.”
Wait, Doocy reproduced? What did he do, close his eyes and dream of Troy Aiken?
She has not earned a puppy.
dum librul: Let me just say it’s a freaking honor that Glenn Greenwald (apparently) reads Wonkette. That guy RAWKS!
Glenn, if you’re reading this, I’ll buy you a beer any time you come through Baltimore -
Ah, I so much miss the witty repartee between Williard Scott and Bryant Gumbel.
According to a leaked “Today” show memo, this is the suggested story idea list given to Jenna Bush Hager from the show’s producers:
–Smith Point
–Georgetown
–Drinking at Smith Point
–Drinking in Georgetown
–LNS
–Drinking at LNS
–Skulls and Bones
–Drinking at Skulls and Bones
–H Street
–U Street
–Adams Morgan
–Fells Point
–The Northwest Waterfront
–Greenpeace
–the ACLU
–PETA
–Common Cause
–Mother Jones magazine.
sDoglessliberal: SHHH
When is not-Jenna gonna get her time to shine?
At least she is not procreating.
What, Jeff Gannon already had a job and couldn’t take this gig?
FOX has a sad that it didn’t think of that first.
I hate to hold this against her, but she looks like her god-damn father.
No, wait, I will hold it against her. BOOYAH.
Whew that was close. She coulda wound up on a program I watch.
gjdodger: If you’d seen a picture of her husband, you wouldn’t be so sure about that. In fact, I’d guess the new job means he’s boring her already and she’s banking on Matt Lauer being available.
thefrontpage: Oh, snap!
aaronincus: Hey, at least we still have Barbara, who thank god for her own sake, looks much less like her father than Jenna. Barbara looks much more like her mother (’Laura Bush killed a guy’), who incidentially looks like Batman’s Joker.