Wonkette
Major discovery in the 2004 CIA inspector general’s report on torture for which ABC News gets sole credit, MUST GIVE THE CREDITS TO ABC NEWS: Dick Cheney is secretly Jesus. This is why he wears the Golden Jesus Halo Crown of the CIA! Also: That second story? It’s Dick Cheney. And we’ll take our $25,000 “Ensign Style,” in three separate checks, to avoid declaring it as income. [ABC News]
“Eighth victim dies in trailer park murder myster.” Mayhap the victims’ faces were all found replete with scattered birdshot?
I’ll be the first to say that Cheney is a vicious, psychotic, lying sack of shit. But to be fair and accurate, you’ve also got to give credit where credit is due. So I’ll concede that, in addition to everything I said before, he’s also a vicious, psychotic, lying sack of shit.
Cheney loves me! This I know,
For torturers beats me so;
Babies blood to Him belong,
They’re the feast to keep him strong.
Yes, Cheney loves me!
Yes, Cheney loves me!
Yes, Cheney loves me!
Torturers beats me so.
welcome to life in the AM, newell…can’t believe you’re awake already ! sks must’a cracked a good whip on yo ass.
ManchuCandidate: That’s impressively sick.
Cheney should make himself useful. Maybe cut off his head so it can be used as a basketball or bowling ball. Or have a stroke so we can ridicule his pathetic attempts at speech. I wish nothing but enduring physical pain and psychological horror upon this toothache of a man.
Mm. Me loves delicious morning snark - Darthstyle.
Dick is my shepherd,
I shall suffer;
He makes me lie down in stress positions.
He smothers me with cold waters;
He shatters my soul.
He leads me in paths of hopelessness
for His name’s sake.
Even though I am dragged through the hallways
of Abu Gharib,
I see no goodness;
for Dick is with me;
His rod and His staff, they beat me.
Surely despair and PTSD shall follow me
all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell in the house of the
Dark Lord forever.
Jesus only rose from the dead once.
I’m positive he can turn wine into water, at least.
“When it comes to Cheney, one of the most incompetent vice-presidents in the country’s history, with a record of two grotesquely botched wars, war crimes and a crippling debt, Chris Wallace sounds like a teenage girl interviewing the Jonas Brothers.”
From Andrew Sullivan, no less.
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2009/08/chris-wallace-a-teenage-girl-interviewing-the-jonas-brothers.html
Lazy, shitty media. How the fuck does Dick, having wargasams, and Chris Wallace having orgasms, in that sham of an “interview”, qualify as “Cheney VS Obama”? Suck it ABC.
4tehlulz: Wow.
Does the investigator’s mandate include the use of torture to obtain confessions from the likes of Dickface Cheney? Yes? Carry on then…
as.the.world.burns: Welcome to the new Wonkette a.m., MO(U)RNING IN HELL, with me!
Don’t you get it? It’s a matter of national security. Terrorsists! ‘Merica!
Isn’t chris Wallace mike wallace’s kid? Or no relation? Poppa Wallace skould be so proud.
But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears,
Take the rag away from your face.
Now ain’t the time for your tears.
If we could just interrogate Dick Cheney according to Dick Cheney’s rules of interrogation, I think his viewpoint might shift.
Bitterness and malevolence is the only thing keeping this human pustule alive. He’s just bidding his time before he croaks and then the prince of lies is going to make him Mayor of Pandemonium.
Sorry 30 Rock - “Ensign Style” is about 1,000X funnier than James Carville sliming though the Rockefeller and trying to TM “Cajun style”. Although that was the funniest part of his wooden performance.
Also, fuck you Dick Cheney, the new Douchebag of Liberty.
You know how the Freepers were orgasming over Ted Kennedy dying? That’s what it will be like for me when Dick Cheney dies. Times a thousand. I’ll have a party with snacks and cocktails. It’s gonna be great. Y’all are invited.
Of course the only reason Cheney can think of for an investigation of prisoner abuse is “politics”. Cheney has been swimming in the pitch black slime of fear and hatred for so long, he’s like one of those horrible skeletal looking fishes that dwell in the ocean depths, all eyes and teeth. Expecting him to understand something like the rule of law or human decency is like expecting one of those fish to understand the sun.
He looks about 80 in that photo, but I’m sure he has the horse cock of a 65-year old.
Oh, the CIA abuse probe is just political, is it?
Remember how Bush the Elder pardoned all of his Iran-Contra buddies because they were only guilty of the “criminalization of policy differences”? Gross violations of domestic and international law which are the direct cause of the global expansion of human misery are just part of the back-and-forth politics of DC, apparently.
I’m sick of Dick Cheney and his mutant talking ball sack Liz. But I think a teary eyed Liz would look sexxy in a long black funeral gown.
drpangloss: I’ve wondered that myself. If so, where did Mike go wrong? Did Mike play “ambush interview” with Chris and scare the Jeebus out of Chris, who them vowed to never ask gotcha questions of those in authority?
I thought “Ensign Style” meant in the butt, to remain a virgin.
I wonder if they’re called “softball” questions because Wallace had Cheney’s soft, dangly, old-man balls in his mouth while asking them.
McDuff: Yes, it must be embarrassing for Mike to think Chris is one notch below Cavuto.
Is Dick Cheney Divine
If so, best acting job EVAH.
And I would like to see Dick Cheney perform the last scene of Pink Flamingos, repeatedly, also.
“…Liz Cheney, the former vice president’s daughter, told Stephanopoulos that the Bush administration looked into the way terror suspects were treated and found no reason to prosecute CIA officials.”
Bush administration investigated? (A triple oxymoron.) Sweet Jehosaphat,that’s good enough for me.
Anita Cocktail: The pitch and catch of the Cheney/Wallace interview was a thing to behold. I hope someday Dick will allow Wallace to be the pitcher.
Is Dick Cheney divine? Well, in divine in the sense of ‘oh, bless his heart’ kind of divine.