WHAT DID YOU DO DURING AUGUST RECESS?  4:01 pm August 28, 2009

Montana Congressman & Bros Crash Boat Into Massive Rocks (‘The Shore’)

by Jim Newell

There were injuries in this accident so we should not make jokes, but meh, they’re in stable condition now: Rep. Denny Rehberg of Montana and his fun-lovin’ buddies were cruisin’ on their 22-foot motorboat last night and either crashed or intentionally parked said boat on this sack o’boulders. Alcohol? Drugs? We’ll see. In any event: maybe it’s time to head back to Congress! [Daily Inter Lake]

 
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{ 56 comments }

Buzz Feedback August 28, 2009 at 4:04 pm

Rawk it brutha!

gurukalehuru August 28, 2009 at 4:05 pm

The article didn’t say (-R) or (-D), but its Montana, so it’s funny either way.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2009 at 4:06 pm

[re=397756]gurukalehuru[/re]: He’s an (R) — which means the are high that someone’s dick got bitten off in the collision.

Jim Newell August 28, 2009 at 4:06 pm

[re=397756]gurukalehuru[/re]: Montana’s one (1) congressman. Take a guess.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2009 at 4:06 pm

Odds, dammit. The odds are high, etc.

King of the Dipshits August 28, 2009 at 4:09 pm

I agree that it would be wrong to joke about this since people were injured. Dose anyone know if all of the hookers are okay?

ph7 August 28, 2009 at 4:09 pm

Monkey Business II. The boat captain was getting Donna Riced when he shoulda been piloting.

bamaboy August 28, 2009 at 4:09 pm

“after 10:00 pm” and you wonder if alcohol is involved? Probably teenage boys too.

magic titty August 28, 2009 at 4:10 pm

A 22-foot motorboat? What a large pair of breasts those must have been…

Min August 28, 2009 at 4:10 pm

My cousin (who was driving) and I once ran a speedboat up on the shore like that, but we were 16 and 18 and sober.

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 28, 2009 at 4:11 pm

That’s not the proper way to honor Ted Kennedy’s memory.

Suds McKenzie August 28, 2009 at 4:11 pm

Rehbergquiddick ??

hockeymom August 28, 2009 at 4:11 pm

Were there any Vikings on board?

Der Sleeper August 28, 2009 at 4:12 pm

I guess one of them didn’t know that “dry hump” wasn’t a nautical term.

ph7 August 28, 2009 at 4:12 pm

Democrats had a field day exploiting Rehberg’s congressional delegation trip to Kazakhstan in which Rehberg drank several shots of vodka, fell off a horse, got trampled by another and broke at least one rib.

jesusbutter August 28, 2009 at 4:12 pm

Keel him. Keeeeel him!

Gopherit August 28, 2009 at 4:13 pm

All of the republican commenters on that story are shocked, SHOCKED I TELL YOU, that anyone would imply alcohol would be involved. I second King of the Dipshits in hoping the Hookers and Boy Scouts on board were okay.

HedonismBot August 28, 2009 at 4:13 pm

I bet he was fleeing a reporter on his way to fall off a horse in Kazakhstan.
True story: I used to work for a small newspaper in Montana. One time Rehberg came to town and I made arrangements with his people to interview him during his visit to a natural gas well. As I did not know exactly where the well was, I was following the car driven by his chief of staff down the highway.
Rehberg’s chief of staff started driving at least 90 miles an hour and passed a couple cars. They left me far behind in the dust. Our meeting never happened. Those fuckers ditched me!

slappypaddy August 28, 2009 at 4:14 pm

we’ll see how they feel about health care options now

house of the blue lights August 28, 2009 at 4:15 pm

Good think he’s a congresscritter and has that fabulous health coverage that I pay for.

DeathOfIrony August 28, 2009 at 4:15 pm

Like Noah’s ark after the great flood. Isn’t this picture proof of the young earth theory?

Extemporanus August 28, 2009 at 4:15 pm

What’s worse, he left a woman behind to die of sunburn.

Naked Bunny with a Whip August 28, 2009 at 4:15 pm

So the death panels gave this one a pass?

Extemporanus August 28, 2009 at 4:17 pm

[re=397769]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Oh, I didn’t see you there behind the boulder.

kdaddy August 28, 2009 at 4:19 pm

A somber explanation will be forthcoming, about how they all had their heads down reading
the Bible when Satan commandeered their vessel.

Zadig August 28, 2009 at 4:20 pm

Total brolocaust.

jesusbutter August 28, 2009 at 4:20 pm

I would give anything, ANYTHING, to see Rehtardberg’s tax-payer funded health insurance yanked right now.

Extemporanus August 28, 2009 at 4:21 pm

[re=397764]bamaboy[/re]: Aye, matey. They be boarded by butt pirates!

SlipperyDick August 28, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Well, no wonder. The boat was named “Ghost of Chappaquiddick” and he was wearing a tee shirt that said “Be Your Own Death Panel – Vote Republican!”.

hobospacejunkie August 28, 2009 at 4:25 pm

[re=397773]ph7[/re]: Ah, Kazakhstan. Where the president won election in 1991 with 91.5% of the vote. Running unopposed.

Kodos August 28, 2009 at 4:26 pm

Forgive me if I break into song, but seeing that picture all I can think of is “The ship’s aground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle …”

SweetTea& August 28, 2009 at 4:26 pm

Unrelated to this story, but The Daily Inter-Lake is my parents’ hometown newspaper. Every time I go visit I love to check out the “Law Roundup” and I’m so thrilled to find out it’s online. Here’s a highlight of this week’s round up:
“A passerby at the intersection of East Idaho Street and Seventh Avenue East North thought they saw a body hanging out the back of a flatbed truck. When asked if it was, in fact, a body, the truck driver nodded that indeed it was. The passerby called Kalispell police, who discovered the “body” actually was the leg to a mannequin and counseled the truck driver about misleading the elderly.”

magic titty August 28, 2009 at 4:26 pm

[re=397777]HedonismBot[/re]: that’s rad.

ManchuCandidate August 28, 2009 at 4:27 pm

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this Great Plains port
Aboard this tiny ship.

The mate was a mighty Republican,
The skipper “sober” and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a boozy tour, a boozy tour.

The shoreline started getting close,
The tiny ship was beached,
If not for the liquid courage in the crew
The shore would be missed, the shore would be missed.

The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted rocky shore
With Rehberg
A State Senator too,
The healthcare lobbyist and his wife,
A case of booze,
And some boy scouts
Here on Rehberg’s Shore.

TJBeck August 28, 2009 at 4:27 pm

That boat’s between a rock and uh… I don’t know, something. Friday afternoon, still sober, that’s the best I got. Suck it, Montana!

gurukalehuru August 28, 2009 at 4:29 pm

Motorbonin’?

Monsieur Grumpe August 28, 2009 at 4:29 pm

Nice docking Popeye.

Come here a minute August 28, 2009 at 4:33 pm

Good thing this happened during August recess — that boat coulda wound up on the steps of the capitol.

Extemporanus August 28, 2009 at 4:35 pm

[re=397809]gurukalehuru[/re]: Poopdeckin’?

Lucky2130 August 28, 2009 at 4:36 pm

I love the “Where is Denny” link on his web page.

He’s on a rock that’s where the hell he is.

proudgrampa August 28, 2009 at 4:37 pm

The names of the injured are: dumb, dumber, and dumberer.

Quasi August 28, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Don’t any of you try to pin this on alcohol or excessive speed. This is a perfectly understandable accident.

Do you have any idea how high the tides run in Flathead Lake?

BadKitty August 28, 2009 at 4:44 pm

To be fair, Rehberg couldn’t see the shore because those rocks were in the way.

DoktorZoom August 28, 2009 at 4:47 pm

This was no boating acci….Oh, wait, it was.

Hooray For Anything August 28, 2009 at 4:48 pm

[re=397780]slappypaddy[/re]: As he’s got great government financed health care, I’m pretty sure he feels any sort of government run health care system is Socialism.

mollymcguire August 28, 2009 at 4:51 pm

[re=397762]King of the Dipshits[/re]: According to his Wikipedia page, the Congressman has 600 cashmere goats on his ranch. Thus he has no need for either hookers or Boy Scouts.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello August 28, 2009 at 4:52 pm

This is why they give those disclaimers at the beginning of Nitro Circus.

Snarkalicious August 28, 2009 at 5:00 pm

[re=397760]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Hopes. Also.

give us a bob August 28, 2009 at 5:22 pm

This reminds of that probe NASA crashed into Mars by essentially steering it to fall directly into the planet’s atmosphere. Their excuse of being confused over metric/imperial units conversion was nowhere near as funny as the technical-sounding CFIT acronym they invoked to distract public attention from the fact they screwed up and crashed their probe.

CFIT is of course, Controlled Flight Into Terrain, which really seems to the creatively stretching the semantics of the word “controlled.”

Just as “accidentally” driving your boat directly into the rocky shore at high speed is perhaps a handy way to euphemize “got crunk and drove the boat out of the lake.”

the problem child August 28, 2009 at 5:26 pm

[re=397808]TJBeck[/re]: Between a rock and a wet place?

El Pinche August 28, 2009 at 5:41 pm

That’s not the stick shift, but oooh yeah! CRASH!!!!

lawrenceofthedesert August 28, 2009 at 6:06 pm

The not so great generation finally has its Omaha Beach.

Paul Tardy August 28, 2009 at 7:22 pm

“I meant to do that” – Some Pee Wee Herman movie.

S.Luggo August 28, 2009 at 11:26 pm

There’s a lesson here.

Friends do not let friends motorboat drunk.

Old Redneck August 30, 2009 at 11:56 pm

Nothing good happens on a lake, after 10 PM, with a boatload of hookers and a keg.

teebob2000 August 31, 2009 at 10:57 am

[re=397773]ph7[/re]: Damn you!! I like him now!!

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