what did you do during august recess?

Montana Congressman & Bros Crash Boat Into Massive Rocks (‘The Shore’)

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There were injuries in this accident so we should not make jokes, but meh, they’re in stable condition now: Rep. Denny Rehberg of Montana and his fun-lovin’ buddies were cruisin’ on their 22-foot motorboat last night and either crashed or intentionally parked said boat on this sack o’boulders. Alcohol? Drugs? We’ll see. In any event: maybe it’s time to head back to Congress! [Daily Inter Lake]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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Comments

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  • Buzz Feedback

    Rawk it brutha!

  • gurukalehuru

    The article didn’t say (-R) or (-D), but its Montana, so it’s funny either way.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=397756]gurukalehuru[/re]: He’s an (R) — which means the are high that someone’s dick got bitten off in the collision.

  • Jim Newell

    [re=397756]gurukalehuru[/re]: Montana’s one (1) congressman. Take a guess.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Odds, dammit. The odds are high, etc.

  • King of the Dipshits

    I agree that it would be wrong to joke about this since people were injured. Dose anyone know if all of the hookers are okay?

  • ph7

    Monkey Business II. The boat captain was getting Donna Riced when he shoulda been piloting.

  • bamaboy

    “after 10:00 pm” and you wonder if alcohol is involved? Probably teenage boys too.

  • magic titty

    A 22-foot motorboat? What a large pair of breasts those must have been…

  • Min

    My cousin (who was driving) and I once ran a speedboat up on the shore like that, but we were 16 and 18 and sober.

  • Canmon (the Inadequate)

    That’s not the proper way to honor Ted Kennedy’s memory.

  • Suds McKenzie

    Rehbergquiddick ??

  • hockeymom

    Were there any Vikings on board?

  • Der Sleeper

    I guess one of them didn’t know that “dry hump” wasn’t a nautical term.

  • ph7

    Democrats had a field day exploiting Rehberg’s congressional delegation trip to Kazakhstan in which Rehberg drank several shots of vodka, fell off a horse, got trampled by another and broke at least one rib.

  • jesusbutter

    Keel him. Keeeeel him!

  • Gopherit

    All of the republican commenters on that story are shocked, SHOCKED I TELL YOU, that anyone would imply alcohol would be involved. I second King of the Dipshits in hoping the Hookers and Boy Scouts on board were okay.

  • HedonismBot

    I bet he was fleeing a reporter on his way to fall off a horse in Kazakhstan.
    True story: I used to work for a small newspaper in Montana. One time Rehberg came to town and I made arrangements with his people to interview him during his visit to a natural gas well. As I did not know exactly where the well was, I was following the car driven by his chief of staff down the highway.
    Rehberg’s chief of staff started driving at least 90 miles an hour and passed a couple cars. They left me far behind in the dust. Our meeting never happened. Those fuckers ditched me!

  • slappypaddy

    we’ll see how they feel about health care options now

  • house of the blue lights

    Good think he’s a congresscritter and has that fabulous health coverage that I pay for.

  • DeathOfIrony

    Like Noah’s ark after the great flood. Isn’t this picture proof of the young earth theory?

  • Extemporanus

    What’s worse, he left a woman behind to die of sunburn.

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    So the death panels gave this one a pass?

  • Extemporanus

    [re=397769]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Oh, I didn’t see you there behind the boulder.

  • kdaddy

    A somber explanation will be forthcoming, about how they all had their heads down reading
    the Bible when Satan commandeered their vessel.

  • Zadig

    Total brolocaust.

  • jesusbutter

    I would give anything, ANYTHING, to see Rehtardberg’s tax-payer funded health insurance yanked right now.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=397764]bamaboy[/re]: Aye, matey. They be boarded by butt pirates!

  • SlipperyDick

    Well, no wonder. The boat was named “Ghost of Chappaquiddick” and he was wearing a tee shirt that said “Be Your Own Death Panel – Vote Republican!”.

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=397773]ph7[/re]: Ah, Kazakhstan. Where the president won election in 1991 with 91.5% of the vote. Running unopposed.

  • Kodos

    Forgive me if I break into song, but seeing that picture all I can think of is “The ship’s aground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle …”

  • SweetTea&amp

    Unrelated to this story, but The Daily Inter-Lake is my parents’ hometown newspaper. Every time I go visit I love to check out the “Law Roundup” and I’m so thrilled to find out it’s online. Here’s a highlight of this week’s round up:
    “A passerby at the intersection of East Idaho Street and Seventh Avenue East North thought they saw a body hanging out the back of a flatbed truck. When asked if it was, in fact, a body, the truck driver nodded that indeed it was. The passerby called Kalispell police, who discovered the “body” actually was the leg to a mannequin and counseled the truck driver about misleading the elderly.”

  • magic titty

    [re=397777]HedonismBot[/re]: that’s rad.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
    A tale of a fateful trip
    That started from this Great Plains port
    Aboard this tiny ship.

    The mate was a mighty Republican,
    The skipper “sober” and sure.
    Five passengers set sail that day
    For a boozy tour, a boozy tour.

    The shoreline started getting close,
    The tiny ship was beached,
    If not for the liquid courage in the crew
    The shore would be missed, the shore would be missed.

    The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted rocky shore
    With Rehberg
    A State Senator too,
    The healthcare lobbyist and his wife,
    A case of booze,
    And some boy scouts
    Here on Rehberg’s Shore.

  • TJBeck

    That boat’s between a rock and uh… I don’t know, something. Friday afternoon, still sober, that’s the best I got. Suck it, Montana!

  • gurukalehuru

    Motorbonin’?

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Nice docking Popeye.

  • Come here a minute

    Good thing this happened during August recess — that boat coulda wound up on the steps of the capitol.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=397809]gurukalehuru[/re]: Poopdeckin’?

  • Lucky2130

    I love the “Where is Denny” link on his web page.

    He’s on a rock that’s where the hell he is.

  • proudgrampa

    The names of the injured are: dumb, dumber, and dumberer.

  • Quasi

    Don’t any of you try to pin this on alcohol or excessive speed. This is a perfectly understandable accident.

    Do you have any idea how high the tides run in Flathead Lake?

  • BadKitty

    To be fair, Rehberg couldn’t see the shore because those rocks were in the way.

  • DoktorZoom

    This was no boating acci….Oh, wait, it was.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=397780]slappypaddy[/re]: As he’s got great government financed health care, I’m pretty sure he feels any sort of government run health care system is Socialism.

  • mollymcguire

    [re=397762]King of the Dipshits[/re]: According to his Wikipedia page, the Congressman has 600 cashmere goats on his ranch. Thus he has no need for either hookers or Boy Scouts.

  • Rev. Peter Lemonjello

    This is why they give those disclaimers at the beginning of Nitro Circus.

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=397760]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Hopes. Also.

  • give us a bob

    This reminds of that probe NASA crashed into Mars by essentially steering it to fall directly into the planet’s atmosphere. Their excuse of being confused over metric/imperial units conversion was nowhere near as funny as the technical-sounding CFIT acronym they invoked to distract public attention from the fact they screwed up and crashed their probe.

    CFIT is of course, Controlled Flight Into Terrain, which really seems to the creatively stretching the semantics of the word “controlled.”

    Just as “accidentally” driving your boat directly into the rocky shore at high speed is perhaps a handy way to euphemize “got crunk and drove the boat out of the lake.”

  • the problem child

    [re=397808]TJBeck[/re]: Between a rock and a wet place?

  • El Pinche

    That’s not the stick shift, but oooh yeah! CRASH!!!!

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    The not so great generation finally has its Omaha Beach.

  • Paul Tardy

    “I meant to do that” – Some Pee Wee Herman movie.

  • S.Luggo

    There’s a lesson here.

    Friends do not let friends motorboat drunk.

  • Old Redneck

    Nothing good happens on a lake, after 10 PM, with a boatload of hookers and a keg.

  • teebob2000

    [re=397773]ph7[/re]: Damn you!! I like him now!!