Wonkette
Another Friday, another very minor political story closes out. Everything thank old Dan Balz for using the adjective “taps” in this Charlie Crist story, as is required. [Washington Post]
TODAY IN TEMPORARY SENATE REPLACEMENTS
Charlie Crist Taps Random French Queer To ‘Warm His Seat’
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2:17 PM
on Fri August 28 2009
By
Jim Newell
1272 Views
Dan Balz??? Really???
First with the taint, now with the taps.
Tap, tap, tap.
Haha, a base canard as there certainly aren’t any Balz on the Washington Post staff.
The reporter’s name is Balz? This story is a hoax, isn’t it?
Kinda harsh to describe him as a “caretaker.” Does that mean he, uh…takes good care of Charlie?
TGY: Joe Scrotes is on vacation this week.
magic titty: I was going to go with Leslie Chode, but well done. Well done.
But what’s he going to do when the Penguins aren’t playing the Capitals?
A fellow orangeman, no doubt.
magic titty: Scrotes would have found a way to work Tea-bagging and ruling with aniron fist into the story. Balz Failz
LeMieux for back door.
Dan Balz, closest confidant, lemieux, taps, Charlie Crist. There is nothing subtle going on there.
Yo! Wonkadoodles! In this context, ‘taps’ is a VERB.
An adjective is a word that modifies a noun. “Queer”
is here used as a noun, and “random” and “French” are
adjectives modifying that noun.
rev_matt_y: Really - it’s like a scene from a Gordon Merrick novel.
Lemieux? Great hockey player, always went for the five-hole.
Nurtz: Thank you mister grammar nurd…
Nurtz: haha. you don’t like posting here, really, do you?
That’s one of those last names where most of the letters aren’t even needed.
Lemeiux = L’Mu
Nurtz: I like the grammar correction! Words have meanings, right? Imagine if someone called Crist a “heterosexual” or Denby “likable”? The world is already fucked up enough.
However, “wonkadoodles” should be nuked from space.
“Everything thank old Dan Balz for using the adjective “taps” in this Charlie Crist story, as is required”
Am I illiterate, or should this read “everybody”?
One Yield Regular: It’s a result of Obama’s new “Taint for Tappers” program, designed to stimulate cheek-pinched, pompous political reporters.
adjective?
V572625694: Pool boy would be too obvious.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: HTML fail. Sorry!
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Newell is drunk. He’s celebrating becoming a Daddy today.
From chief of staff to seat warmer — is that really a step up? Sounds like he’s going backwards to me.
Gopherit: I ain’t touching that one.
SayItWithWookies: maybe he got tired or saying that he’d spent too much time on the Governor’s staff.
Could be worse — instead of tapping, Crist could have pegged LeMieux for the position. Is that possible?
I for one am willing to forgive our dear editor’s grammatical transgressions, what with all the tapping and seat warming and cornholing. These are tumultuous times!
Neoyorquino: Too literal.
So if Charlie “taps” and LeMieux “warms Charlie’s seat”, whom is the husband hereith?
Neoyorquino: OH YES.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: I read “everything” as a variant on “Miss Thang.”
First Charlie Crist, then that South Carolina lieutenant governor guy, now this LeMeiux fairy, it’s like homosexuality is rampaging through the south. What are they putting in the grits these days? I call for an investigation of all Waffle House men’s rooms.
LeMieux? Does he play hockey by chance? Inordinate fondness of the city of Pittsburg? What the heck is he doing in Florida?
It’s a compliment. Florida governor taps “the best” for Senate. This guy must be really good.
Crank Tango: Not to mention that *someone* is about to become a daddy today.
I predict a veritable explosion of “I’d tap that” on Wonkette.
Some random (perhaps even French and queer) copy editor wrote “taps.” Not Mr. Big Balz. Reporters almost never write headlines.
It’s good to know that when it comes to tapping, the Post has Balz on staff.
Il est une poule mouillée!
Charlie Crist (R-Etard) must have studied under Vladimir Putin.
I tapped my girlfriend’s LeMieux the other night…. so damn good
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Are the two options mutually exclusive?
But can he “stickhandle” like Mario?
You could read “tapping” as I do: comes up behind the seated LeMieux and taps him on his shoulder with his dick to get his attention. Then Christ gets his seat warmed for him.
hiphophitler: Sadly, there is a long tradition of fascism linked with closeted male homosexuality. These are not your cuddly rainbow yay-area folks!
Its all gay code. While we’re worrying about health care, teh gays are taking over.
curmudge: Thank you. And you’re being kind with “almost never.” It’s pretty much never.
Charlie has been misquoted into an unintentional appointment.
What he said was “LeMieux? I’d tap that.”
I wonder how difficult the transition is from gubernatorial gobbler and senatorial slider …
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Every Friday, the drinking starts on Thursday here at our Wonkett. Also, you’re illiterate for not pointing out the “adjective” thing, which was cute.
if someone warms your seat, he’s kind of obliged to follow up with an offer to push up your stool next.
Monsieur Grumpe:
Somptueux avec les Freedom Fries, if you discount the bitter taste of the 2010 vote of Florida’s Cubans. Not talking about them muy expensivo cigars here. Sell well, but don’t vote.
Sorry, Charlie. The Sunshine State is no longer a political playground for rich Anglos. (Our most precious Miss Kitty, of course, excluded.) Even Jeb knew that.
LeMieux is Belgian for a butt tan.
TJBeck: it’s what those French cows say….L’Mu
Now folks, come on! Be fair! Charlie Crist is a happily married man!
Oh, God, now I can’t stop laughing. Damn my sarcasm! Don’t worry - I’ll calm down by the time they post the butt-secks pics.