America’s greatest company, AIG, has a new CEO! How should he introduce himself to the American public, which has like an 80 percent stake in his company, but doesn’t really “own” it? As an industrious servant of the common man, of course! And that he does, in his big “debut” interview, with Reuters: “DUBROVNIK, Croatia (Reuters)—Wearing flip-flops, khaki shorts and a green polo shirt, the new chief executive of bailed-out insurer American International Group (AIG) says he’s getting a lot of work done from his massive villa overlooking the Adriatic. ‘People criticize me for being on vacation. I actually started work a week before I was actually supposed to,’ Robert Benmosche told Reuters in an interview.” Good lord. Things must be just stable enough now that these robberbarons don’t have to give a shit anymore about presenting themselves through shiny, remorseful PR channels. [Reuters]
OUR FLOURISHING FINANCIAL SERVICES INDUSTRY
August 27, 2009
New AIG CEO Is, Naturally, A Lazy Douche
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A villa on the Adriatic? Sort of like Diocletian’s retirement villa?
Although I doubt any US exec would have 1/10 the taste of Diocletian.
“Wearing flip-flops, khaki shorts and a green polo shirt” translation: asshole
“Wearing flip-flops, khaki shorts and a green polo shirt, [trailed by somber train of androgynous prepubescent sex slaves carrying bowls of exotic liqueurs and platters arrayed with succulent sweet meats, fruits, and rich chocolates]…”
Fixed.
[re=396869]zhubajie[/re]: “Wearing flip-flops, khaki shorts and a green polo shirt”. He clearly does not have 1/100 the taste of Diocletian.
I don’t suppose there is anyway to convince the people of Dubrovnik that “Benmosche” is a good Serbian name?
“I actually started work a week before I was actually supposed to,”
Lord knows I’d delay moving into my massive villa overlooking the Adriatic for AS LONG AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.
“Wearing flip-flops, khaki shorts and a green polo shirt”
Without his big bonus, he must shop the Wal-mart clearance bin for work clothes.
Is it wrong that I misread “Robberbarons” as “Rollerbarons”? And got totally stoked on it?
he wants to be closer to his personal private bank accounts. he haz a nervous.
“Every bathroom is like a piece of art,” he said while showing off his master bathroom with his wife, Denise. “Women go wild when they walk in here.”
I have no words.
Dear Teddy,
Tell God to kill this guy.
[re=396901]rocktonsammy[/re]: before his wife does
I met Bob when I worked in Newport Beach and he did a townhall for the benefit of his minions. Back then the hot gossip was he was having relations his head of HR (which was the position she attained, coincidentally I’m sure, after she and Bob started making the beast with two backs). I hear she was listed as one of the 100 most powerful women in the world which, all things considered, is the least they could give her for her service. At the time it made me wonder what kind of title and perks I’d get for boning Bob. Since I’m a straight male I don’t think I’m his type…
[re=396869]zhubajie[/re]: Or any skill at raising cabbages.
[re=396890]slappypaddy[/re]: The UBS thing has him shook up.
[re=396880]King of the Dipshits[/re]: Not even necessary. Just tell ‘em he used their backyard barbecue pit without asking. Mofos will go all Mostar on his ass.
“When you come here, all of a sudden you appreciate the world you live in,” he said.
As if this asshole didn’t have enough earthly goods, he had to come out of retirement to go on vacation for some ungodly amount of money.
“We have the ability. I know that I am telling people we are allowed to,” he said. “What I don’t know is if people (employees) are willing to. A lot of them feel hurt, embarrassed, a lot of people have lived in fear because of what I call lynch mobs with pitchforks.”
Then later he whines some shit about taking his kids out the side door or something because people were hollering meannesses at him. Or whatev.
Check it out:
“People think it is funny but it is not when it is your children,” he continued, his voice rising in anger. “It is not when you come home and you find people in front of your home and you had to sneak your children out in the middle of the night so that they are not attacked in a country called America.”
Dood, who the fuck was going to attack your children? It’s YOU to whose balls I want to attach electrodes. I hope the serfs in Croatia someday decide to rise up and put you through a Walpurgisnacht out of Sam Peckinpah.
“AIG’s vacation villa in Croatia – helping to lead the way to a brighter future not only for our children, but for our children’s children.”
But that town is beautiful beyond imagination. Mr. Benmosche clearly is capable of making smart decisions. Your money is safe with him.
Now I know where I’ve seen that picture. It was on the cover of Frank Zappa’s “Thingfish”.
So AIG selected a Yugoslavian supervillian to be its CEO? I will only be impressed if he has an underground lair or henchmen
Bob couldn’t have picked a better place to live. His Ustaše Chetnik neighbors are sooo happy…
[re=396882]PrairiePossum[/re]: “Without his big bonus, he must shop the Wal-mart clearance bin for work clothes.”
No, believe me when I say these khakis, golf shirts, and flip-flops all come with Ralph Lauren Polo and/or Gucci logos. It’s the uniform of the Corporatti-at-Leisure. I see it every day in Arizona. His sunglasses cost more than I make in a week. What I really resent is these pigs ruining beautiful Dubrovnik.
I must say that his last pronouncement gives me the upper most confidence that we’re out of the woods and on our way. Wow! I say.
Wow.
“A year from now, Benmosche said he hopes to wow people with AIG’s performance.
“‘I think we will be clear as to what the vision is, what the reality of that vision is. We’ll have a better sense of what our strategic companies will be worth, and what the marketplace will be worth, and people will say, wow, AIG is performing well,’ he said.”
The most reviled company in the world being run by a CEO five time zones away from headquarters who gets massages every day and wows the ladies with the mirrors in his 12 bathrooms–if that is not a sign of economic recovery then nothing is.
Albanian terrorists FTW!
[re=396901]rocktonsammy[/re]: god is a short, black, jewish woman, and she is not to be fucked with.
“And they that occupy their merchandise with robbery, the more they deck their cities, their houses, their possessions, and their own persons: The more will I be angry with them for their sin, saith the Lord…. Let not the sinner say that he hath not sinned: for God shall burn coals of fire upon his head, which saith before the Lord God and his glory, I have not sinned.”
— 2nd Esdras (4th Ezra), 47-48, 53
[re=396934]Mr Blifil[/re]: I am actually one of those people who actually think it’s funny that he actually had to actually sneak his kids out of his house. Actually.
I worked w/Bob in another life. Despite the rumors, etc, he’s a smart, likeable guy (who can be a real hard-ass) and he didn’t have to come out of retirement. Compared to his past salaries, he’s working for chump-change over at AIG and I wish him well. These kind of guys live for the challenge.
BTW, my politics are very progressive, lest anyone think I’m a plant from the nutjobs GOP douche-bags (has anyone actually ever seen an old-fashioned douche-bag?)
[re=396913]Citizen Kang[/re]: Since I’m a straight male I don’t think I’m his type…
You don’t know these alpha male types, then. It’s all about control; they’ll fuck anything that they can control if they think they can get away with it, male/female, animal/human animate and otherwise.
I was going to ignorantly say “Hey, give him a break. He’s vacationing in _Croatia_!” Ha ha!
Then I read about the vineyard, the 12 bathrooms, blah blah blah… and his $3 mil cash plus $4 mil stock plus $3.5 mil bonus salary.
Fuck. I thought this recession was going to be a realignment of these kind of disparities in salary. Nope. That’s just my naivete again.
“actually” is what “literally” was a few years ago…
[re=397035]Joanie love lots of Chachi[/re]: Seriously? This is all you have? Chump change? I know I’m very late on this thread, but I tasted my reaction to your comment.
Blech. There are more worthy challenges if someone who is well-connected, who doesn’t *have* to work, wants a reason to leave the house in the morning. Honestly, how big is your dick anyway?
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