Wonkette
…The Los Angeles Times! It is impossible to take anyone who uses the word “taint” seriously anymore, in this country. We blame this on Rod Blagojevich’s appointment of Roland Burris. [LAT]
REMEMBERING THE LIGER
Funniest Ted Kennedy Headline Of The Day Goes To…
Read More:
5:10 PM
on Wed August 26 2009
By
Jim Newell
3257 Views
Taint + some word ending in “dick”. It had to happen.
Just look at that bridge — I mean, how did they expect anyone to drive across it shitfaced?
Oh god, it just hit me. This is the end of an era. No more Chappaquiddick jokes.
*sob*
What will the Freepers do to bring a smile to their lips now? Oh, the humanity!
the problem child: Taintaquiddick ?
Cicada: leave loaded guns around their
trailershomes for small children to find?It’s insane, that guy’s taint.
Cicada: The racist assholery will never die.
I used to have nightmares about high bridges with no rails when I was girl. Just sayin’.
Cicada: I wish I knew how to ‘Quiddick you!
Taint. Necessarily so.
Death is no match for the taint that took a lickin’ and kept on tickin’.
It’s insane, this pond’s taint.
Suds McKenzie: Chappedtaintsquiddick?
Actually, that might be the name of the sport Harry Potter plays…
Taint funny
Have any Freepers/ReThuglicans yet suggested that Obama used his Fascist Communist Muslin Voodoo powers to travel back in time to:
1) Sabotage the bridge, thus keeping Kennedy in the Senate and out of the Presidency for ever;
2) Then later causing Kennedy to sober us (a bit) so he could be an somewhat more effective Senator for the rest of his life;
3) Then later still, physically inserting a tumour into Kennedy’s brain that was set to detonate during the toughest part of the Health Care Reform efforts, thereby generating tonnes of sympathy to push the legislation to a sentiment-powered victory?
No?
Well then, they are clearly not drinking as heavily as I am…
pattycake: Yay for Jimmy Sommerville
By the way Jim, it’s the eye of the liger that I’ll always remember.
I blame Ralph Nader.
No seat beats in the car or railings on the bridge.
Thanks again Ralph.
The name “Chappaquiddick” is derived from that time when Hairy Pooter chapped his taint on a broomstick whilst playing Quidditch; hence, Ted Kennedy killed Dumbledore!!! and health care reform, also.
The L.A. Times: standing athwart the Chappaquiddick bridge yelling stop.
Cicada: The usual Obama watermelon jokes.
George Chickenhawk Bush drove our country off a bridge and yet his taint remains unfellated? a travesty.
I just realized this LAT article was written by our very own “Neilist.”
Kudos for making inroads into a moribund industry, taintlicker!
The thing about chaps is your taint and your dick are both exposed.
Should read: “the Oily Taintz of Chappaquidick”
On the Today Show this morning they showed an interview from 1992 with Teddy and his (then) new bride. She told the story of how he proposed. He planted the ring underwater so she would see it when they were snorkeling. Teddy sat there with a big grin on his face, completely oblivious to the symbolism.
hobospacejunkie:
How was your birthday? Great I hope. How bizarre is it that I go to Hyannisport yesterday, the day Sen. Kennedy passed? We drove up to the compound & took pictures. We could have never got that close today. Spent the other part of the day in downtown Hyannis, the JFK museum, Osterville & a beach right next to the compound. The only unusual thing we saw was a police car with a flashing light oddly going off inside the compound in the early afternoon. Other than that it was eerily quiet, which we commented on. I also commented that it was sad that it was the end of the summer & most likely the last summer he would spend at such a beautiful place & how awful that must be for him. I think we saw Mark Kennedy Shriver there, & that was about it. They are saying now that the day we went was the first day Sen. Kennedy didn’t get out of bed & that he died around 11:30pm last night. On a side note, I was drawn to a religious gift shop in Hyannis where I bought a bunch of religious items & I bought a picture of the 3 brothers at the JFK Museum. Other than that nothing pithy to say, only that there is a hurricane with 75 mile per hr. winds headed to the Mass coast on Saturday (the funeral day where Prez is scheduled to eulogize in Boston), so I don’t know about those plans now & the plans at Arlington Cemetary.
Bearbloke: I haven’t checked, but I would put serious money on the Freepers saying Obamaa had Teddy killed of his cancer to save health care reform. It’s basically inevitable.
it would suck to be a second rate celeb and die on the same day as a first rate celeb.
Let the first recovering alcoholic who doesn’t eventually remember something horrible from their past that could have even gone more tragically than it did, please stand up.
Personally, I’m slumping down further in my seat.
I can’t be the only person who read that as, “Tasting the taint of Chappaquiddick.”
Domminick Dunne picked today to die, to avoid the publicity.
Stick a fork in him, he’s, uh, …
A taint will last a long time in the frigid Atlantic waters of Chappaquiddick.
DustBowlBlues: In the words of the late great MJ, “You aare not aalone/ I aam here with youuuu/ Though we’re faar aapaart/ you’re aalwaays in my heaart…”
i been scratching around in my box all day and i just got out and i don’t know if anyone else has advanced this theorem, but it could be said that all four kennedy brothers died of head wounds. jack and bobby, well those two are obvious, and teddy, well, a malignant brain tumor is a kind of a head wound, ain’t it? as for joe, no one can be sure what the exactly fatal wound was, since he was exploded while on a secret bombing mission, but given that he was the pilot (the head man on board) and the secret mission involved remote-controlled aircraft (sort of a head connection there, in abstract or metaphor or sumpin), it could be said also to be a head wound.
it’s a stretch, i know, but a cat’s gotta stretch. first the front part, then the back part… man that feels good.
I blame the Daily Show, but I may have been late to the party.
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-january-17-2006/level-of-taint
Alpha O. Mega: Obama killed him too, after being stuck with only ‘The Two Mrs. Grenvilles’ to read while on the beach…
SayItWithWookies: No kidding. Whoever designed that thing certainly should share the blame for what happened that night. It looks like it was built by drunken, evil trolls.
the problem child: … but only while in a ‘wide stance’…
I can’t wait for the complete series from the L.A. Times:
“Cheney: The Lasting Taint of Feeding on the Blood of Babies”
“George W. Bush: The Lasting Taint of 4000 Lives Wasted.”
“David Vitter: The Lasting Taint of Loving Taint.”
Not surprisingly, less than 24 hours after Sen. Kennedy’s death, Bill Kristol finds it impossible to say anything nice about him on FOX News.
Bill Kristol, the Taint no one can lick.
One Yield Regular: Just like the ones who masterminded the Big Dig. Gotta watch out for those Mass Oompa Loompas.
Don’t taint me, Bro!
I read somewhere that when they told Joe Sr. that Ted drove off a bridge and a girl drowned, that he had a stroke and never spoke again. (He lived a few more years, not speaking.)
If true, it must have been a couple of bad years for the holidays. I think I would definately drink more after that.
m_supercomputer: Sick as the thought is, you’re right. Even on the AFL-CIO facebook page, asshats are saying shit about Ted K. My shop steward dad was a Ted man all the way and, like the senator, died from a brain tumor but in his 70s.
Old Joe might have been a bastard, but he sure raised children who felt a commitment to people who weren’t as privileged. A lot like the Busch clan. I mean, Bush.
Min: me too! Only I was never a little girl. Also had dreams about causeways being overlapped by waves.
LA Times: Taint Misbehavin’?
LEGALIZE IT!
Okay, I’ll say it since none of you ‘healthist’ libtards will. Friggin’ PULITZER material!
— Rupert Murdoch, owner, LA Times
Jim89048: Charlie … Charlie Crist?
the ring of three, the circle of time, has now been joined. NOw shall come the end. Prepare ye beasts and leave no taint behind
Hey,I crashed a car and left the scene as a young man; then the next month wrecked a motorcycle and ended up in the hospital. It’s a wonder no one died that summer from being around me, I probably just had scared everyone off with my “issues”. I was able to turn it around and still go to MBA school, then help the poor.
slappypaddy: From taint to head eh? I like your math.
Chuck Grassley joys in the taint. Or maybe, a target nearby.
http://s.wsj.net/media/0826pod16.jpg
Iowa, the corn hole state.
AbstinenceOnly Ed: Surprised he didn’t report on some gun found in the pond.
Ohio Wonkette Fan: Only in Ohio…
Who needs Chappaquiddick when there’s Veckatimest?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veckatimest
S.Luggo: Good gods, Chucky G has old lady feet!!
SWEET GOD. He waited 10 hours to report that to the police, BTW, because he wasn’t drunk.
But whatever. He wasn’t nearly as bad as Trig Palin (miss you Ted. You the man).
Dear Diorama: Taint your Wagon!
Ohio Wonkette Fan: You want Room 12A, just along the corridor.
Stupid git.
Is it wrong that for quite awhile now I’ve been secretly hoping that Ted Kennedy would get shot before succumbing to the cancer? HAT TRICK!
The wingnuts are sad today, sad because they only have this one last time to play the Chappaquiddick card. Oh well, they still have the Robert-Byrd-was-in-the-KKK card.
shortsshortsshorts: You do realise people with concussions tend to do pretty stupid things, right?
glamourdammerung: OH YOU ARE RACIST AGAINST PEOPLE WITH CONCUSSIONS?
He’s still a better driver dead than Laura Bush…
ladymacbeth:
Like: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/26/dominick-dunne-dead-at-83_n_269875.html
Nerdalicious: Birthday was great! Thanks for asking.
My birthday is September third. I am a Virgo. Yay!!!
(also drunk).
This is bad news for Laura Bush’s impending obituary.
Being a Freedom speaking reader, I come to Wonkette to build up my murikan vocabulary but for the time being, I have to leave my emudication and go to the bathroom to barf, vomit, puke, throw up, chuck, spew, upchuck and, vomit again … Sorry! Be back much much later!
Thank you LA Times, I needed that!
Extemporanus: Harry Potter is a good Chap at Quidditch.
If Chappaquiddick is the taint, what does that make Falmouth?
BTW. That’s a nice Old’s Delta 88. The perfect wide-body drunk’s car.
Why did Ted Kennedy have to pull down his pants to urinate?
Because he was on the No Fly List(tm) … Bad-da-bump
No Fly List is a trademark of the Department of Homeland Security.
Summarizing the headline:
Ted Kennedy … taint … dick.