WHERE IS GEORGE BUSH'S STATEMENT?  3:31 pm August 26, 2009

Here Is Obama’s ‘Beach Speech’ On Ted Kennedy

by Jim Newell

MIGHT AS WELL POST IT: Obama’s official reaction to Ted Kennedy’s death this morning, live from a curiously placed podium, in the heart of Jurassic Park. [YouTube]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 29 comments }

Min August 26, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Jurassic Park, huh? Well, all I can say is that the speech would have benefitted from a velociraptor or two tearing it’s way through the press corps.

AbstinenceOnly Ed August 26, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Today, my fellow Muslin Ted “Mahmoud” Kennedy is merrily shtupping his 72 virgins up in heaven. Allahu akbar, mothafuckaz!

gurukalehuru August 26, 2009 at 3:43 pm

So, that’s why Barry chose to vacation there. Always thinkin’ ahead, that one.

sezme August 26, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Put on a tie, you communist!

Suds McKenzie August 26, 2009 at 3:47 pm

[re=395722]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: ” he is now paawking his caar in the Harvaard Yaaard in heaven”.

WIDTAP August 26, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Not a bad announcement, but Biden’s remarks are a bit more emotive.

Literally.

Texan Bulldoggette August 26, 2009 at 3:49 pm

A slight bit OT but is Mark Sanford the luckiest summbitch on the face of the earth? When he tearfully confessed his Penthouse forum adventures with his [racist] Latina on the Appalachian Trl, Michael Jackson died. Now, his Rep. Lt. Gov. really wants him to resign & Ted Kennedy dies. Why is Mark Sanford killing everybody?

SayItWithWookies August 26, 2009 at 3:49 pm

After seven months it still makes me warm inside to hear a presidential speech that doesn’t sound like a bunch of the most generic phrases rescued from the dumpster behind the Hallmark building.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 26, 2009 at 3:52 pm

My favorite part is the end, where Obama eats Kennedy’s heart to absorb his power. Dick Cheney wasn’t expecting that.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 26, 2009 at 3:56 pm

It is all easy to be nice to Sen. Kennedy today, but tomorrow Rush Limbaugh is promising a startling expose where he reveals how Kennedy singlehandley helped the Soviets make the United States a Socialist Workers Paradise.

No wonder B. Hussein Obama loves him.

Tundra Grifter August 26, 2009 at 3:59 pm

According to MM4A, a jerk named Eric Stanger (at present employed by Premiere Radio Networks, ABC Radio/Citadel Broadcasting and – our favorite – The Sean Hannity Show) posted some very rude remarks about Sen. Kennedy on his (Stanger’s) Facebook page.

Perhaps other Wonkette readers would like to give him the “defendglenn.com Support Wall” treatment.

It just seems the least we can do. And, as the late, great Fred Sanford said, “If it’s the least I can do, I’ll do it.”

ella August 26, 2009 at 3:59 pm

[re=395734]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Meanwhile, Caribou Barbie’s FB friends are putting their 8th grade educations to use by posting such tributes as “Good riddens.” They all deserve each other.

http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/142220/sarah_palin%27s_facebook_%27friends%27_celebrate_ted_kennedy%27s_death%3A_%22one_less_socialist%2C%22_%22good_riddens%22/

populucious August 26, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Worst. Vacation. Ever.

AxmxZ August 26, 2009 at 4:08 pm

[re=395758]populucious[/re]: Goddammit. *footstomp*

Critter August 26, 2009 at 4:12 pm

I think Obama did a good job at not spouting off what should be said about someone who died. Ted Kennedy really did impact how we function as a country today, and it is a loss to the American people. This person did a video tribute that made me start to tear up – http://www.ranker.com/list/sen–ted-kennedy_s-10-most-memorable-moments-_video-tribute_/history

Neilist August 26, 2009 at 4:20 pm

In a late-breaking story: The United States Coast Guard earlier today reported that beachwalking personnel had found a wallet, apparently owned by Senator Ted Kennedy in the 1970s, washed up on the beach.

As yet, there is no confirmation that the reported fingernail scratches on the same match those taken of Mary Jo Kopechne by the Coroner’s Office after what the Kennedy family then described as a “tragic underwater car racing accident” . . . .

Also, in a related story, the New Delhi Daily News reports that Benazir Bhutto is STILL DEAD!

Hooray For Anything August 26, 2009 at 4:21 pm

I couldn’t help but notice that Obama doesn’t appear to be wearing a tie while giving his statement. You know who else wouldn’t? Ahmadinejad. Coincidence or not?

[re=395758]populucious[/re]: If I were to be President, I’d never go on vacation because everytime one does, something bad happens, whether it be the death of a friend or the misreading of an intelligence briefing or a pesky hurricane getting in the way of a golf game.

Advocatus_Diaboli August 26, 2009 at 4:37 pm

[re=395781]Neilist[/re]: Chappaquiddick Eat a Dick. A whole bag. Seasoned with rat poison. You are a wretched fuckwad. And you’re still not funny.

Guppy06 August 26, 2009 at 4:42 pm

I fear that the more Saint Edward gets lionized, the more entrenched the name “Kennedy” gets entrenched in American politics. For every Ted tribute I see, there’s yet another person with vague relations elected to some municipal or state office and generally fucking things up.

American aristocracies are bad, mmkay? The Adamses, Harrisons and Buchanans are dormant, nobody’s heard a peep from a Roosevelt for a while, and the Lincolns had the good sense to die off. Does it have to get to the point where a presidential election boils down to one of the rapey Kennedys running against Pierce Bush or John McCain IV that voting someone based on name recognition alone might not be such a great idea?

With that said, Chelsea 2016!

hobospacejunkie August 26, 2009 at 4:58 pm

[re=395801]Guppy06[/re]: The best way to rid ourselves of aristocracies is to make the “death tax” punitive. Then retarded, drug-addicted losers like W won’t be able to buy the presidency & loot the treasury.

Neilist August 26, 2009 at 5:07 pm

[re=395798]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: “And you’re still not funny.”

Ah, but am I “snarky”?

I leave the “funny” to ideologically pure Liberals like you. They are soooooo amusing sometimes.

But let me try a joke anyway:

Did you hear that Teddy and Mary Jo had already decided on a name for their illicit love child? If a male, they were going to call him “Buoy.”

Advocatus_Diaboli August 26, 2009 at 5:09 pm

[re=395834]Neilist[/re]: yawn.

Neilist August 26, 2009 at 5:22 pm

[re=395837]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Oh, you’ve heard that one?

How about this one:

Q. What were Teddy’s last words to Mary Jo?

A: Honey, I’ve got to get back to Joan. Would you mind staying here and feeding the fish?

Cicada August 26, 2009 at 5:26 pm

[re=395834]Neilist[/re]: I’ve laughed at your Ted Kennedy jokes in the past, but now you’re just reaching. I hate to say it, but the Chappaquiddick jokes are going to quickly move into Sarah Palin baby name joke territory.

Time to dig up some new material. If you keep fucking this corpse, like you have Benazir Bhutto’s, you will move into the land of has-been hack trolls. But hey, I guess you have to milk it for all it’s worth. In a few days 2/3 of your material will officially be in the ground.

Sincerely,
Skillet Palin*

*see, it’s not fucking funny any more.

WadISay August 26, 2009 at 5:57 pm

This video shows Obama at the crossroads, and not metaphoric crossroads, but–uh–real crossroads. What’s up with that?

FWIW, a friend is in Ireland today and reports that Teddy’s death is huge news there.

PinkyTuscadero August 26, 2009 at 6:03 pm

[re=395873]Cicada[/re]: I don’t want to take sides here in a silly little dust up between a rational citizen and a smarmy necrophiliac hack, but Skillet’s gold, baby.

And Neilist, now you’ll have to move on to vitriol against someone else who’s battled scandal, fought back a substance abuse problem, and had to endure the pressure of upholding a family legacy. Hmm, whomever shall you go for now?

Hooray For Anything August 26, 2009 at 6:51 pm

[re=395901]WadISay[/re]: He’s gone down to the crossroads to try and sell his soul to the devil so he can become an awesome blues guitarist

auduboner August 27, 2009 at 2:11 am

[re=395864]Neilist[/re]: You’re not funny, you’re not snarky, you’re obviously not quite human, so go suck your own dick somewhere else. You are reviled here. We are laughing AT you, not with you, asshat.

Go over to the dittohead sites – they’ll think you are a genius, given their lead-based IQs.

auduboner August 27, 2009 at 2:16 am

Ted was more of a mentor to Obama than he lets on. Think about it – any other male role models in his later life, once his grandfather passed? I hope he takes some time to mourn, and the balless Senate D’s pick up the healthcare ball for Ted.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: