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Beloved Utah Republican Orrin Hatch loves to sing, and he loves to compose songs, so he can sing them! The songs are often about the Mormon God, but this time the song is about the Liberal God, Ted Kennedy, who has tragically died of old age and sickness. Enjoy! [YouTube via “Scott R.”]

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80 COMMENTS

  1. At work now, so I can’t enoy Orrin’s crooning ’til I get home & mix a martini, put a red lampshade over the bulb and embrace the horror. If it’s anything like the velvety,dreamy tones of John Ashcroft then I’m in for quite an evening.

  2. It is a well established fact that good music cannot be written unless you are 1) drunk, 2) drugged up or 3) having wild sex with a young woman.

    Orin Hatch’s songs prove that rule.

    [re=395523]Car Ramrod[/re]: Remember, he went to the town hall last night? I assume he didn’t make it out alive, or was deemed unworthy by the death panel.

    (Most likely he got drunk and lucky and is a little hung over, see my initial point).

  3. Will never click the clicky on the video, sorry. If I want to listen to warbly, corny singing I’ll listen to John Ashcroft. *shudder*

  4. Already heard it. It’s called “Tears in Heaven,” and it’s about a guy who profits off of his son’s death and his ability with the guitar.

  5. [re=395526]Neoyorquino[/re]: That “somewhere” might be a Vegas lounge. He also reminds me of Bill Murray’s “Nick Winters”.

  6. [re=395556]Gopherit[/re]: If you braved death with Liz at a townhall, wouldn’t you go back, get wasted, and fuck the night away? It must have been just like the end of Watchmen, except replace exploding psychic squid with old angry Conservatives. All right, so it is exactly the same.

  7. But who will now sing for Orrin Hatch when someday he goes off into the Mormon yonder?

    I guess Marie Osmond, fellow Mormon and purveyor of tacky dolls on cable shopping TV can take a minute or two to sing “There’s no stopping your heart.”

  8. Um — just a thought folks — this would be a great time to visit that YouTube page, offer Senator Hatch our condolences and politely suggest that it would be a lasting tribute to Senator Kennedy if he supported a bill to ensure that the millions of Americans who can’t afford healthcare could get it.

  9. [re=395551]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Could be worse. Could be Slim Whitman-style. Wheeee, eeee, eeee-up-ya-eeee! Cowboy yodeling makes Mormon Baby Jesus cry and martian invaders’ heads asplode.

  10. Guess all that praying and fasting by Michelle Bachmann paid off.
    If you’d like to thank her in person, for the death of Ted Kennedy…you can do so tomorrow…when she HOSTS A TOWN HALL MEETING IN MINNESOTA.

    Lake Elmo, MN, Aug 27 –

    Health Care Reform Public Forum

    With special guest, Congressman Michael Burgess, M.D.

    Thursday, August 27th
    Doors open at 1:45 pm
    Forum runs 2:45 pm to 4:00 pm
    Oak-Land Junior High School
    820 Manning Avenue North, Lake Elmo

    Bring your camera.

  11. Well, if Hatch ever gets voted out of office, he’s always got a career as a lounge singer.

    “Thank you! You’re beautiful! Tip your waitress.”

  12. [re=395559]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: The piano HASN’T been drinking, because it is Mormon.

    But the dining room table, which is Catholic, is completely shellacked.

  13. [re=395557]Extemporanus[/re]: Now you see, ol’ Teddy didn’t fancy himself a singer, probably knew he couldn’t sing, and so that was quite entertaining. It’s these fucking geezers who write their own material and think they could have played at the Opry that I just can’t stand to watch – even if I’m doing so with the full intent of mocking them for it.

  14. [re=395580]TGY[/re]: Hey ! I happen to like Slim Whitman… however, Sen Hatch can go gargle on a big bag of splintery dicks in a deep dark cave somewhere to help improve his signing voice…

  15. [re=395581]facehead[/re]: “If I hadn’t been involved in this process as long as I have and to the depth as I have, you would already have national health care,” he said.

    Fuck you, Enzi, you obstructionist bitch.

  16. “Beloved Senator” my sweet butt. I predict that, in 100 years, you will be able to get paid time off work to urinate on the graves of today’s Republican senators from the former Confederacy (including Oklahoma).

  17. [re=395590]SouthernDem[/re]: Snark aside, equally impressive is that this tribute was released early enough to try to nip some of the impending vitriol from the crazies in the bud. Never fear, though. I’m sure Rush is whippin’ up something nice.

  18. [re=395601]Gopherit[/re]: I posted one but it hasn’t shown up yet. Although my YouTube login might not carry a lot of weight with Mr. Hatch. It’s ZoroasterIsMyCopilot.

  19. [re=395581]facehead[/re]: So how long until this bastard dies of soul cancer? Or is Mike Enzi’s (R-‘Death to Americans’) soul dead already?

  20. Powerful Iraqi Shiite leader has died in Iran … Abdul-Aziz al-Hakim died at 59.

    Now that’s a news story. Ted Kennedy died when he was put on the No Fly List by a minor Bush functionary.

  21. That was far less horrible than I thought it would be. And the sentiment was nice. Damn, when you can’t snark at Orrin Hatch, what’s the point of going on?

  22. The road to hell is paved with an Orrin Hatch song, and the voice is pretty mysterious for a teetotaler’s — does he smoke asphalt shingles, maybe? He sounds like Phil Harris after his fifth rehab (jeez, I’M even too young to know who the blog Phil Harris was — but wasn’t he the Joe Cocker of the 1940’s?). Quite a surprise — I expected Orrin to sound like Doodles Weaver.

  23. Ken, your band should totally cover this song. I have an idea for a video, too: We’ll need 20 rolls of duct tape, about a gallon of lube, a dildo with the word “Healthcare” silkscreened on it, Orrin Hatch, and we’ll somehow have to crash Ted Kennedy’s funeral.

  24. [re=395597]user-of-owls[/re]:” But the dining room table, which is Catholic, is completely shellacked”

    The chairs, being Baptist, must not fornicate while standing as it resembles dancing.

  25. [re=395621]Gopherit[/re]: Reposted, and it’s there now. Oh, if politeness, reason and a bit of sentiment won the day. Shut up — a boy can dream, can’t he?

  26. Request ! Orin Hatch & John Ashcroft duet of Wind beneath my Wings!! You could totally use this for enhanced interrogations! However, there is the high risk of death.

  27. Okay, I’m going to stick this in here because it’s Kennedy related. If I hear another old Republican talk about how collegial the senate used to be, I’m going to vomit. None of them want to mention the fact the whole place went to shit when Newt and his gang of Christians took the House. Yeah, I said. it. Fundamentalist Christians destroyed the US Congress. Republicans suck shit. Which is why they will burn in hell.

  28. In a show of true support for Sen Kennedy, I am some friends are going to show up at the Sept 13 rally for health care–in Oklahoma! And I don’t even own a machine gun to protect myself from the wingnuts.

    There’s strength in numbers, however, so the dozen or so liberal Democrats in this asshat state will stay close by each other.

  29. Because he is my Senator, I would like to thank the computer Nazis at my company for not allowing us to see YouTube. Most days that pisses me off, but today makes up for it.

  30. [re=395696]DustBowlBlues[/re]: It’s probably September 12, since that’s when Glenn Beck’s rallies are taking place. I was thinking about this last night and came up with the idea to have a booth with “Just say NO to socialism” on it and encourage all the 9/12ers to put their Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare and SCHIP cards into a convenient portable shredder. Then of course berate them for being commies when they refuse.

  31. Putting comments on youTube is an excellent idea, and we all should do it. Of course it won’t work, as his actual constituents have been trying to get his attention for years, to no avail. I always get back the standard form letter: “Thanks for your input, but the Senator will have to see your magic underwear before he considers giving a shit about your needs.” Welcome to Utah, a theocracy by any other name.

    On the plus side, when I was but a tiny DC intern we made a giant poster of one of Hatch’s album covers, and stuck it on the wall to motivate us.

  32. [re=395847]the prophet of Deseret[/re]: There’s only an outside chance of changing his mind. But barring that outcome, the larger the twinge of shame he has to choke down when voting No on an immensely popular and eminently sensible bill that will improve the lives of millions, the better.

    But call me a romantic, I still think better sensibilities can be called out.

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